Dr Horrible FF: Reputations for destruction (Captain Hammer/Dr Horrible, NC-17)
Extended version of a scene from oxoniensis's Porn Battle VI.
Title: Reputations for destruction
Fandom: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Pairing: Captain Hammer/Dr. Horrible
Rating: NC-17
Length: 1,500 words
Disclaimer: All belongs to three Whedons and one Tancharoen.
Spoilers: All three Acts of Dr Horrible
Summary: A room full of people, and they are the only two who know the truth. Prompt was fake, originally here.
AN:
Nominated for Best Future Fic, thank you :)
Captain Hammer has a hand around his throat, but it doesn’t seem like his heart’s in it. It’s a little because the gloves are made for punching more than the delicate work of not-actually-strangling, and a little because neither of them have their heart in much of anything these days.
Dr Horrible smirks - it’s an expression he has perfected by this point in his evil doing. It’s almost as important as the laugh. “Are you planning on doing anything, or is your tactic to bore me to death?”
“I could kill you, you know. I don’t even need the other hand.” Captain Hammer holds out his free hand, extending the little finger. “I could do it with this finger.”
“Yes, yes, I know. Masculine and powerful and terrifying. How much are you paying your therapist to keep that ego stoked?”
“How much are you…?” Captain Hammer trails off, losing his train of thought. He does that more and more often nowadays. Frankly, Dr Horrible thinks that he may need a new nemesis - this one is becoming embarrassing.
The pattern, though, is familiar, and there’s something soothing about it. Any moment now Captain Hammer will say-
“You’re not even a real villain. What would your precious League say if I told them what really happened that night? You’re a fraud, Doctor.”
“Yes, well, so are you. If I told them the truth they’d probably ask you to join them. You’re the one that killed your own girlfriend because you were dumb enough to fire a malfunctioning death-ray in a crowded room.”
“Only because you-”
“I tried to tell you-”
“You’re evil-”
“On purpose. You were just too arrogant to-”
A room full of people, and they are the only two who know the truth. Truth. Like that’s worth the- But it is. It doesn’t take so much effort to be Dr Horrible around Captain Hammer. It helps that he does, honestly, hate him. It helps that the Dr Horrible he is around Captain Hammer is not so different to who he was before. Not so different from Billy.
Captain Hammer squeezes his neck, experimentally, and Dr Horrible gasps, seeing black spots. He kicks out, somewhat surprised that his instinct not to die choking remains so intact. Captain Hammer ignores him for a while - though doesn’t squeeze harder - until his flailing strikes flesh. Captain Hammer says “Ow” - actually the word ‘ow’ because he’s a moron who hasn’t realised that just because a death ray hurt him it doesn’t mean Billy’s boots will.
Dr Horrible topples forwards when Captain Hammer drops him, and somehow they both end up on the ground.
Dr Horrible frowns. “Seriously, did anyone clear you to leave the padded room?” He taps the shiny forehead. “Because you’re clearly still suffering from delusions of something.” He flicks Captain Hammer’s head harder, surprised it doesn’t ring hollow.
“Ow.”
“No. Not ow. I have a gun here somewhere,” He looked around, finally managing to locate the weapon he had used to punch that hole in the wall. “This might make you feel something. Me: not so much.”
He’s mostly on top of Captain Hammer at this point. Enough mostly that when he moves to pull the gun closer, Captain Hammer groans. Dr Horrible looks at him.
“Ow?”
He blinks and repeats, “No. Not ow. That was definitely not an ‘ow’ noise. That was anything but an…” Great, now he’s back to babbling. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“That. Stop-“
Captain Hammer raises his eyebrow and says, with the air of someone trying and failing to be coy, “We could pretend it was an ow noise.”
This is really just sad. Dr Horrible lifts the gun casually. “I could kill you, you know.”
“Hey. That’s my line!”
“I know, that was sort of the… never mind.”
Their height difference isn’t so obvious from this angle, but Captain Hammer’s hands are still dangerously huge when he wraps them around Dr Horrible’s shoulders. Dr Horrible doesn’t think he’s going to do anything with them though. The red coat is part of the fraud - he wears it and Captain Hammer pretends like it’s armour enough to prevent rib-breaking. It’s all tied up with his pretence that it’s Billy who could hurt him, not just machinery exploding in untidy ways he never meant.
Captain Hammer has a way of tipping over his best-laid plans.
He can pretend that it’s an experiment. Dr Horrible lays his hand - gloved still - over the place in Captain Hammer’s combat pants that make him groan out another not-ow noise. This is oh, such a bad idea. But it’s a bad idea that requires no further planning, no nights of calculations of how it will look and not look to the public and the media and the ELE. Compared to building a freeze-ray, engineering mutual orgasms between you and your nemesis is child’s play. Well. Not child’s play, exactly. Teenager’s play. If teenagers had nemeses. His teenage self had, actually - Marty Jenson, who had been a lot like Captain Hammer now that he thought about it. Marty had confused things too.
It’s a mess, it’s all a mess, opening Captain Hammer’s pants with the obscene sound the zipper makes, the way the lab coat’s buttons are resistant to hasty fingers. But these are all small problems, nothing broken that can’t be mended later. He didn’t start this because he wanted to dance on the grave of the world. He never wanted blood on his hands and here is someone he can’t hurt, not with only his own bruised flesh or the fear the costume inspires. He scrapes Captain Hammer’s chest with his nails, just to prove it. Captain Hammer says, “Ugh.”
“Is that a good noise?”
“I thought you didn’t want me to make good noises?” Captain Hammer grins like he’s outsmarted Dr Horrible at last.
“Just… Just concentrate on not squashing anything I need, okay?”
“How do you know this isn’t-?”
Dr Horrible shrugs. “Because you’re not a planner.”
There’s nothing elegant about this. Captain Hammer presses up against his hand. It should be brutal enough to hurt, but Dr Horrible just shifts with the motion. It’s easier that way.
Captain Hammer glares at him. “You’re not as evil as you think.”
Wrong. He’s not as evil as they think. He’s exactly as evil as he thinks. Which is to say, evil enough to pretend he killed the woman he loved, but not evil enough to like it. Captain Hammer is heroic enough to want to get in the way of a thousand evil schemes, but not heroic enough to admit the glaring blot on his copybook. They’re both frauds.
Truth is this: kneeling over the top of his archenemy, jacking off both their cocks in his one bare hand. Captain Hammer saying, “You’re a liar. You don’t deserve…” And him responding, “You’re not a hero. All you do is make things…”
There is still a hole in the wall of the vault. Any moment the cavalry could arrive - Moist or the city police department. There’s no good ending either way. Captain Hammer takes off one glove and covers Dr Horrible’s hand. He grips too hard, skin-to-skin and when did they ever…? “Oh. Oh, God, oh.”
The mess mostly ends up on Captain Hammer’s chest, also obscenely muscled. More muscled than one person could ever need, really, and just further compensation for his lacking in anything approaching brainpower.
Dr Horrible stands up, and reaches down to pick up his coat. Captain Hammer takes his hand instead, using it to pull himself to his feet. Dr Horrible asks, “Was that really necessary?”
He is met with yet more confused forehead scrunching. “The sex?”
“No, not the… well, yes, the sex, all right, if you have an answer for that one.”
Captain Hammer shrugs, and goes to investigate something in the rubble. “Hey. Wasn’t this what you were trying to steal?”
“Yes.”
“It’s broken.”
“I can see that.”
“So I foiled your evil scheme.”
“Just so you know, that’s not how I’ll be telling it.”
“Because you’re a liar.”
“And you’re a killer.”
“Yeah? Well you’re… not.”
He sighs. “True. Now then, if I run, are you going to feel obliged to chase me, or can we leave that for another time?”
“My clothes are sticky.”
“Good enough.” Both their gloves were black, and Dr Horrible puts on his own before passing the other back to Captain Hammer. He dodges out of the way of Captain Hammer’s hand, but the other one catches him and holds him still.
Captain Hammer pulls at the strap of his goggles and says, “They were all… askew.”
Dr Horrible says thank you before he realises, covering it up with an, “I do have an image to uphold.”
Captain Hammer straightens out his shirt and pushes his hair back to where it should be. He puts his hands on his hips. His voice is loud again, all capitals and exclamation points. “Don’t let me catch you here again!”
Dr Horrible runs, the gun under his arm enough to scare anyone who gets too close. He hears the sirens in the distance, and the echo of, “No, seriously: don’t let me catch you.”
FIN
Title: Reputations for destruction
Fandom: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Pairing: Captain Hammer/Dr. Horrible
Rating: NC-17
Length: 1,500 words
Disclaimer: All belongs to three Whedons and one Tancharoen.
Spoilers: All three Acts of Dr Horrible
Summary: A room full of people, and they are the only two who know the truth. Prompt was fake, originally here.
AN:
Nominated for Best Future Fic, thank you :)
Captain Hammer has a hand around his throat, but it doesn’t seem like his heart’s in it. It’s a little because the gloves are made for punching more than the delicate work of not-actually-strangling, and a little because neither of them have their heart in much of anything these days.
Dr Horrible smirks - it’s an expression he has perfected by this point in his evil doing. It’s almost as important as the laugh. “Are you planning on doing anything, or is your tactic to bore me to death?”
“I could kill you, you know. I don’t even need the other hand.” Captain Hammer holds out his free hand, extending the little finger. “I could do it with this finger.”
“Yes, yes, I know. Masculine and powerful and terrifying. How much are you paying your therapist to keep that ego stoked?”
“How much are you…?” Captain Hammer trails off, losing his train of thought. He does that more and more often nowadays. Frankly, Dr Horrible thinks that he may need a new nemesis - this one is becoming embarrassing.
The pattern, though, is familiar, and there’s something soothing about it. Any moment now Captain Hammer will say-
“You’re not even a real villain. What would your precious League say if I told them what really happened that night? You’re a fraud, Doctor.”
“Yes, well, so are you. If I told them the truth they’d probably ask you to join them. You’re the one that killed your own girlfriend because you were dumb enough to fire a malfunctioning death-ray in a crowded room.”
“Only because you-”
“I tried to tell you-”
“You’re evil-”
“On purpose. You were just too arrogant to-”
A room full of people, and they are the only two who know the truth. Truth. Like that’s worth the- But it is. It doesn’t take so much effort to be Dr Horrible around Captain Hammer. It helps that he does, honestly, hate him. It helps that the Dr Horrible he is around Captain Hammer is not so different to who he was before. Not so different from Billy.
Captain Hammer squeezes his neck, experimentally, and Dr Horrible gasps, seeing black spots. He kicks out, somewhat surprised that his instinct not to die choking remains so intact. Captain Hammer ignores him for a while - though doesn’t squeeze harder - until his flailing strikes flesh. Captain Hammer says “Ow” - actually the word ‘ow’ because he’s a moron who hasn’t realised that just because a death ray hurt him it doesn’t mean Billy’s boots will.
Dr Horrible topples forwards when Captain Hammer drops him, and somehow they both end up on the ground.
Dr Horrible frowns. “Seriously, did anyone clear you to leave the padded room?” He taps the shiny forehead. “Because you’re clearly still suffering from delusions of something.” He flicks Captain Hammer’s head harder, surprised it doesn’t ring hollow.
“Ow.”
“No. Not ow. I have a gun here somewhere,” He looked around, finally managing to locate the weapon he had used to punch that hole in the wall. “This might make you feel something. Me: not so much.”
He’s mostly on top of Captain Hammer at this point. Enough mostly that when he moves to pull the gun closer, Captain Hammer groans. Dr Horrible looks at him.
“Ow?”
He blinks and repeats, “No. Not ow. That was definitely not an ‘ow’ noise. That was anything but an…” Great, now he’s back to babbling. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“That. Stop-“
Captain Hammer raises his eyebrow and says, with the air of someone trying and failing to be coy, “We could pretend it was an ow noise.”
This is really just sad. Dr Horrible lifts the gun casually. “I could kill you, you know.”
“Hey. That’s my line!”
“I know, that was sort of the… never mind.”
Their height difference isn’t so obvious from this angle, but Captain Hammer’s hands are still dangerously huge when he wraps them around Dr Horrible’s shoulders. Dr Horrible doesn’t think he’s going to do anything with them though. The red coat is part of the fraud - he wears it and Captain Hammer pretends like it’s armour enough to prevent rib-breaking. It’s all tied up with his pretence that it’s Billy who could hurt him, not just machinery exploding in untidy ways he never meant.
Captain Hammer has a way of tipping over his best-laid plans.
He can pretend that it’s an experiment. Dr Horrible lays his hand - gloved still - over the place in Captain Hammer’s combat pants that make him groan out another not-ow noise. This is oh, such a bad idea. But it’s a bad idea that requires no further planning, no nights of calculations of how it will look and not look to the public and the media and the ELE. Compared to building a freeze-ray, engineering mutual orgasms between you and your nemesis is child’s play. Well. Not child’s play, exactly. Teenager’s play. If teenagers had nemeses. His teenage self had, actually - Marty Jenson, who had been a lot like Captain Hammer now that he thought about it. Marty had confused things too.
It’s a mess, it’s all a mess, opening Captain Hammer’s pants with the obscene sound the zipper makes, the way the lab coat’s buttons are resistant to hasty fingers. But these are all small problems, nothing broken that can’t be mended later. He didn’t start this because he wanted to dance on the grave of the world. He never wanted blood on his hands and here is someone he can’t hurt, not with only his own bruised flesh or the fear the costume inspires. He scrapes Captain Hammer’s chest with his nails, just to prove it. Captain Hammer says, “Ugh.”
“Is that a good noise?”
“I thought you didn’t want me to make good noises?” Captain Hammer grins like he’s outsmarted Dr Horrible at last.
“Just… Just concentrate on not squashing anything I need, okay?”
“How do you know this isn’t-?”
Dr Horrible shrugs. “Because you’re not a planner.”
There’s nothing elegant about this. Captain Hammer presses up against his hand. It should be brutal enough to hurt, but Dr Horrible just shifts with the motion. It’s easier that way.
Captain Hammer glares at him. “You’re not as evil as you think.”
Wrong. He’s not as evil as they think. He’s exactly as evil as he thinks. Which is to say, evil enough to pretend he killed the woman he loved, but not evil enough to like it. Captain Hammer is heroic enough to want to get in the way of a thousand evil schemes, but not heroic enough to admit the glaring blot on his copybook. They’re both frauds.
Truth is this: kneeling over the top of his archenemy, jacking off both their cocks in his one bare hand. Captain Hammer saying, “You’re a liar. You don’t deserve…” And him responding, “You’re not a hero. All you do is make things…”
There is still a hole in the wall of the vault. Any moment the cavalry could arrive - Moist or the city police department. There’s no good ending either way. Captain Hammer takes off one glove and covers Dr Horrible’s hand. He grips too hard, skin-to-skin and when did they ever…? “Oh. Oh, God, oh.”
The mess mostly ends up on Captain Hammer’s chest, also obscenely muscled. More muscled than one person could ever need, really, and just further compensation for his lacking in anything approaching brainpower.
Dr Horrible stands up, and reaches down to pick up his coat. Captain Hammer takes his hand instead, using it to pull himself to his feet. Dr Horrible asks, “Was that really necessary?”
He is met with yet more confused forehead scrunching. “The sex?”
“No, not the… well, yes, the sex, all right, if you have an answer for that one.”
Captain Hammer shrugs, and goes to investigate something in the rubble. “Hey. Wasn’t this what you were trying to steal?”
“Yes.”
“It’s broken.”
“I can see that.”
“So I foiled your evil scheme.”
“Just so you know, that’s not how I’ll be telling it.”
“Because you’re a liar.”
“And you’re a killer.”
“Yeah? Well you’re… not.”
He sighs. “True. Now then, if I run, are you going to feel obliged to chase me, or can we leave that for another time?”
“My clothes are sticky.”
“Good enough.” Both their gloves were black, and Dr Horrible puts on his own before passing the other back to Captain Hammer. He dodges out of the way of Captain Hammer’s hand, but the other one catches him and holds him still.
Captain Hammer pulls at the strap of his goggles and says, “They were all… askew.”
Dr Horrible says thank you before he realises, covering it up with an, “I do have an image to uphold.”
Captain Hammer straightens out his shirt and pushes his hair back to where it should be. He puts his hands on his hips. His voice is loud again, all capitals and exclamation points. “Don’t let me catch you here again!”
Dr Horrible runs, the gun under his arm enough to scare anyone who gets too close. He hears the sirens in the distance, and the echo of, “No, seriously: don’t let me catch you.”
FIN