starryskies
in
bjfic
(no subject)
Title: Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Rating: PG-13 (well, there's a bunch of cursing)
Summary: Ambiguous time line, but discusses the cancer. This is what happens when I watch the cancer episodes and am in a weird mood. And it's really short. Yep.
A/N: Sort of just written up and posted. Hopefully someone out there enjoys it. I've been sort of emo lately, which led to my writing this, and I would, in fact, appreciate feedback.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and you find yourself buying some ridiculous teddy bear that says "Cancer sucks" on it for Justin. He'll love it, you know, and more importantly, he deserves something for putting up with your shit all the time, even if it is a teddy bear you're buying him. No, wait, a breast cancer teddy bear. You check your crotch to see if you have a vagina. No, not yet.
You have dreams about cancer, sometimes. Sometimes Vic will come and taunt you, telling you how old and diseased you are. You don't know why the guy has to be such a fucking dick - you two were friends while he was alive, weren't you? Sometimes your nightmares are about Justin - he's alone, completely devastated because you're dead and his hand is shaking like crazy. And then some other guy, some young perfect flawless guy comes along and sweeps Justin off his feet, and Justin forgets you in a second. And when you wake up from those dreams, you get out of bed and smoke a cigarette. You need to get as far away from Justin as possible at those times, because really, whatever. It's not like you'd actually care that much if that scenario happened.
You are full of shit. Sometimes you think that the moment you really fell in love with him hard was at "fucking chicken soup." But even then you're still full of shit, because if for once in your life you were honest with yourself, you'd know that you fell in love with him a million times before that, but you were just too chickenshit to let him know. You fucker.
But sometimes, on some really special days, you're just honest with yourself. Sometimes you'll buy the damn teddy bear and let yourself not be a dickface for once. And when you give it to Justin (because you figure if you're going to do this, you want to fucking see the look of joy on his face) and his face lights up and he says something like, "You love me so much," and you just sort of grin sheepishly and shrug... then, in those moments, you know. You know it was worth the radiation, and it was worth the sleepless nights and all the shit you went through to get to this place with him. It was. Because even though the two of you are probably the most fucked up couple ever, when he's in your arms and he's kissing you, you're okay with it. Hell, you're okay with everything.
(The teddy bear)
Rating: PG-13 (well, there's a bunch of cursing)
Summary: Ambiguous time line, but discusses the cancer. This is what happens when I watch the cancer episodes and am in a weird mood. And it's really short. Yep.
A/N: Sort of just written up and posted. Hopefully someone out there enjoys it. I've been sort of emo lately, which led to my writing this, and I would, in fact, appreciate feedback.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and you find yourself buying some ridiculous teddy bear that says "Cancer sucks" on it for Justin. He'll love it, you know, and more importantly, he deserves something for putting up with your shit all the time, even if it is a teddy bear you're buying him. No, wait, a breast cancer teddy bear. You check your crotch to see if you have a vagina. No, not yet.
You have dreams about cancer, sometimes. Sometimes Vic will come and taunt you, telling you how old and diseased you are. You don't know why the guy has to be such a fucking dick - you two were friends while he was alive, weren't you? Sometimes your nightmares are about Justin - he's alone, completely devastated because you're dead and his hand is shaking like crazy. And then some other guy, some young perfect flawless guy comes along and sweeps Justin off his feet, and Justin forgets you in a second. And when you wake up from those dreams, you get out of bed and smoke a cigarette. You need to get as far away from Justin as possible at those times, because really, whatever. It's not like you'd actually care that much if that scenario happened.
You are full of shit. Sometimes you think that the moment you really fell in love with him hard was at "fucking chicken soup." But even then you're still full of shit, because if for once in your life you were honest with yourself, you'd know that you fell in love with him a million times before that, but you were just too chickenshit to let him know. You fucker.
But sometimes, on some really special days, you're just honest with yourself. Sometimes you'll buy the damn teddy bear and let yourself not be a dickface for once. And when you give it to Justin (because you figure if you're going to do this, you want to fucking see the look of joy on his face) and his face lights up and he says something like, "You love me so much," and you just sort of grin sheepishly and shrug... then, in those moments, you know. You know it was worth the radiation, and it was worth the sleepless nights and all the shit you went through to get to this place with him. It was. Because even though the two of you are probably the most fucked up couple ever, when he's in your arms and he's kissing you, you're okay with it. Hell, you're okay with everything.
(The teddy bear)