Comments | bjfactory: 30_deathfics Theme 25: Blood [Naruto manga

bjfactory

30_deathfics Theme 25: Blood [Naruto manga - Haruno Sakura]

Jul 30, 2007 09:57

Fandom: Naruto
Title: Three Nights in the Dark
Author: bjfactory
Theme(s): 30-deathfics #25: Blood
Characters: Haruno Sakura, Team Kakashi, Team 8
Rating: R
Warnings: Character death. Blood. Gore. Swearing. Violence. Horror. Spoilers up to chapter 364 of the manga. Diverge a bit after that.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's characters and my words.
Summary: In her field ( Read more... )

sakura, 30-deathfics, fanfic, naruto, team kakashi, team 8, manga

Comments 5

doc_destructo August 2 2007, 04:46:34 UTC

Wow, that's a helluva post. I think there was a short paragraph or something where you switched tenses, but aside from that, technically, everything looks fine. While I get the horror plays a lot on confusion, disorientation and fear, there were a couple moments where things kinda jumbled together and I wasn't sure what was going on. I'm also a little uncertain as to what Sakura's final exchange with Yamato meant, since it seemed like it was him telling Sakura to fuse part of him with her (to maintain a controller for Naruto) or that there could be zombies or Kabuto with such power. Aside from some clarity issues, I thought this was a great Narutoverse meets zombies story and very believable. Especially with how nuts Kabuto's become. I love crazy villains!

bjfactory August 2 2007, 05:06:25 UTC

I think I need to change that last line to make it clearer what happened. But, yeah! She took his cells. But due to time limit, things might have been slightly different for Sakura... too early to tell results >D

bjfactory August 2 2007, 05:33:42 UTC

Okay! I think that's more clear! Personally, I think this fic surprised me. It wrote itself and then I reread it and was like... WOO! That's possible! Like the whole Tenzo and Sakura fusing so that someone could stop Naruto.. and connecting that with Kabuto and... hell... I didn't think I was going to kill Tenzo until halfway through. And anyway, Orochimaru's lairs must have some that are booby trapped and with so many, luck would just have it that they go to the one where Kabuto goes nuts. And hey! Place needs test subjects. Without heads, of course. We can't have smart flesh eating zombies... or else I can't explain how so many made it out alive! Tenzo just got unlucky ( ... )

doc_destructo August 2 2007, 05:55:58 UTC

Ah, much clearer! Poor Sakura-chan! ;_; It's okay, though. It just gives Naruto another teammate to save, and this one's less stable so I'm sure spongebaths will be needed...

...

What? WHAT?! He's healing her, dammittebayou!

Thread 5