It was "their baggage" honey, not yours. Sometimes baggage is hurtful, but once you realize it's not your baggage, you can let it go. ::loves you::
PS be proud of who you are in the right now. You worked so hard to get there, rejoice in your body and do the pleasurable things you love to do...like swim.
I've gotten the "you skinny bitch" look several times in the past couple of years. It's a bit startling and disconcerting at first and wondered why I was getting it. But then realized that to them, I deserved it. I was skinny.... WOOOTTTT!!!!! I count that as a triumph!
I'm sorry you felt bad about what happened. Now you, and I, can see the other side of the fence. In many ways this is a blessing, being able to have a new perspective on things.
Two thoughts. First, their comfort level is not your responsibility. You can consciously decide to stay out of their self claimed space, but that is your choice, and choose it because you don't want them to feel bad (good karma), and not because they made you self conscious (bad zem).
Second, does it feel the same if you move the object of their talk from "weight" to "effort", "intelligence", or hell, reading material?
"Twilight is the last bastion for readers like us. Lets leave the real readers to the Margarat Atwoods and Machiavellis."
Don't let them emotionally punish you for working hard and achieving greatness. Don't let them drag you back down. You set priorities, you made tough choices, and you followed through with all of it. You weight loss is not about them (how could it be?), don't let their envy, resentment, and anger be about you (how could it be, they don't even know you?).
This is just way too much of an echo of "know your place". Don't put up with that bullshit, either from strangers, or yourself.
I'd like to think I chose not to get into the pool this morning because I know the value of a safe place where there aren't objects of hard self-comparison, and wanted to give them that if it was in my power.
As someone who *can* do stairmaster and exercise classes, I remember what it was like when I physically couldn't. I am just proud of them for being at the gym and working to improve their health. in the end, me not getting 20 minutes in a pool isn't anything to feel bitter about, but maybe today was the day that their dedication to their own fitness takes root in their psyche and someday they will be on the other side of a similar comment from someone else.
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Sometimes baggage is hurtful, but once you realize it's not your baggage, you can let it go.
::loves you::
PS be proud of who you are in the right now. You worked so hard to get there, rejoice in your body and do the pleasurable things you love to do...like swim.
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I'm sorry you felt bad about what happened. Now you, and I, can see the other side of the fence. In many ways this is a blessing, being able to have a new perspective on things.
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Second, does it feel the same if you move the object of their talk from "weight" to "effort", "intelligence", or hell, reading material?
"Twilight is the last bastion for readers like us. Lets leave the real readers to the Margarat Atwoods and Machiavellis."
Don't let them emotionally punish you for working hard and achieving greatness. Don't let them drag you back down. You set priorities, you made tough choices, and you followed through with all of it. You weight loss is not about them (how could it be?), don't let their envy, resentment, and anger be about you (how could it be, they don't even know you?).
This is just way too much of an echo of "know your place". Don't put up with that bullshit, either from strangers, or yourself.
Reply
I'd like to think I chose not to get into the pool this morning because I know the value of a safe place where there aren't objects of hard self-comparison, and wanted to give them that if it was in my power.
As someone who *can* do stairmaster and exercise classes, I remember what it was like when I physically couldn't. I am just proud of them for being at the gym and working to improve their health. in the end, me not getting 20 minutes in a pool isn't anything to feel bitter about, but maybe today was the day that their dedication to their own fitness takes root in their psyche and someday they will be on the other side of a similar comment from someone else.
Reply
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