[Fan Fiction] The Way You Aren't {Chapter 2}

[bitter_sweet05]

Title: The Way You Aren't
Pairing: HoMin.  's all I got so far, don't judge.
Rating: PG-13?  IDK.  No sexy times, guys.  Sorry.
Genre: Is angst a genre?  It could be romance, I guess?  Certainly not comedy.
Notes: This is the first fic I have ever written.  Feedback is appreciated, but please be constructive.  I don't care if you're a bitch.  You

Comments

[makesmeangry]

\o/

[makesmeangry]

i'm trying to think of what to even write as a comment on here when you know what i want to say already. XD

and now all this talk of spooning has erased the comment from my mind again. /chokesdies.

OH YES.

i enjoy how this is coming more and more alive in my eyes as you keep on writing. like, i'm seeing it happen around me as i read it.
or that could be just me half-asleep. BUT I LOVE IT NONETHELESS.

and ofc minho would be the concerned gurlfran sobs why is he like this ;___;

[bitter_sweet05]

Your icon so wants to spoon mine omg. Minwhore you're such a creep.

You are like the best person evar, jeez. Your comments on MSN and here help me figure out my direction and what I'm doing right and wrong. ♥♥ thank you, Appaaaaaa. I'm glad you like it. ;~;

Were this fic more cracky and had KyuHyun not been there he would have followed him home

[makesmeangry]

anything for umma ;A;

♥

he's such a creeper omg i love it. we need to add that into the other one somewhere

[rayneweather]

I love your disclaimer. If you ever get that room to your liking invite me over, ok?? *cough* Anyway, I really can't find anything to critique. It had a really good flow. Sometimes changing from the present to the past can be a bit jarring, however you did a really good job making it natural and seem natural. One misspelling - in the sentence where Changmin comes home after ditching his friends the word "they" before fell is "the". The sentence from Yunho to Changmin about not trusting friends is utter brilliance. It was such an emotional punch to the gut that I even felt it. You're doing a great job explaining the emotional turmoil of them and the affects it's having on their lives & bodies. Keep it up!!

[bitter_sweet05]

I would have that room if I could go to SM Town... >__> I mean wat who said anything about kidnapping. lol

I really try hard to make the time slips seem as natural as possible, like how it would blend if it were in movie form. In my head, I try to line it up so that it feels like if you were walking, you were gradually changing scenery and moving into a different time/place, if you know what I mean. /bad at explaining

waaaaaaugh thank youuuuu. I type too fast sometimes, and I lose letters. XD When I'm online that's okay because the red line appears, but when I'm in YWriter it doesn't automatically show me misspellings. /fail

Thank you so much for the nice comment. \o/ I'm so glad that people are actually reading and enjoying this, you have no idea. ♥♥

[rayneweather]

Ok, brain's dead. My comment about your switch to the past should read "making it nature and seem NECESSARY". /facepalm. I probably should get a paid account so I can edit the many comments I make with grammatical & spelling errors.

[nortonamo]

LOL@your disclaimer
Yeah, you are definitely a better writer than me =_____='
They way you convey the characters emotions is amazing.
Everything was like, perfect. omo unnie I wish I could write as well as you >

[bitter_sweet05]

If I'm a better writer than you, then it's been a long time coming, because usually I just suck horribly. ;___;

:3 You are so sweet omo *hugs forever* I'm so glad you like it haha. It makes me all warm inside to know that people are reading it and enjoying it. lol I fear people reading it just to appease me. ><;; *horrible self-critic*

[nortonamo]

Yeah I'm just good at like coming up withs stories, not delivering them D;

Nooo~ Even though I'm not much of a DBSK fan and I can barely remember who is who, I really like this story.
It's beautiful!

[satoshiice]

I love how realistic your story and I know I have said it before but I really love the way you write Changmin and Yunho! That is exactly how I imagine them in my head! Great job on another awesome chapter!