Tuesday, 24 September 2024

Sep 22, 2024 00:49


The one where men are silly because Lynn isn't the one getting castrated.

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howtheduck September 22 2024, 05:07:57 UTC


... )

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jjamele September 22 2024, 21:48:03 UTC

John's rant reminds me of some Choosing Beggars clips on YouTube and Reddit: "I'm looking for a free dog. Must have all shots and be perfectly healthy. Must deliver to my house. Must come with own food."

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aprilp_katje September 22 2024, 21:51:05 UTC

Signed, John Patterson....

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chocolate_frapp September 24 2024, 01:46:27 UTC

I've often wondered why anybody would put Newfies in the "working" category. My family had them and they're absolute sweeties but they don't do ANYTHING that could be considered work.

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jjamele September 22 2024, 12:10:00 UTC

"How can we make sure this doesn't happen again, Doctor?"

"Well, Mrs. Patterson, you can keep your dog in the yard and make sure he only eats actual nutritious dog food and stays out of the garbage. This will require observation and care, of course."

"So you're saying that this was just fate and there's nothing I can do."

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dreadedcandiru2 September 22 2024, 15:47:53 UTC

Yeah. That's what they mean by trusting in fate and faith: finding excuses to slack off.

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jjamele September 22 2024, 12:14:08 UTC

Recalling John's ranting about the cost of the "miserable hound," I believe that John took Farley to a vet like I believe the pigs in Animal Farm sent Boxer to the vet. John didn't bring Farley anywhere. He drove around for a while to make sure the damn thing was dead if he didn't finish the deed himself and then concocted this "the vet did everything they could" story for the family.*

*On second reading, I see that Elizabeth came along for the ride, so here's what actually happened- John had Liz stay in the car or the waiting room while John brought Farley in to see the vet. John told the vet to just finish Farley off as cheaply as possible. The end.

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dreadedcandiru2 September 22 2024, 15:47:10 UTC

It wouldn't do to have Farley around much longer. Every day, he'd be a reminder of how John and Elly dropped the damn ball.

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jjamele September 22 2024, 17:11:30 UTC

I can see an actual conversation between Elly and a neighbor:

Elly: "When you think about it, it's a good thing we didn't keep Farley tied up in the yard. If we had, he would not have been there to save April."

Neighbor: "Um, if you had fixed the gate lock and kept your toddler in the yard, you wouldn't need your dog to be able to roam off as well."

Elly: "Yep, no doubt about it. We were wise not to keep Farley in the yard."

Neighbor: "I'm going to find someone else to talk to now."

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dreadedcandiru2 September 22 2024, 19:18:30 UTC

Every last bit of jabbering about fate and toppling is inspired by the first stanza of the Narcissist's Prayer: "It didn't happen."

After all, if Elly actively failed to act, she's not the victim.

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aprilp_katje September 22 2024, 21:46:12 UTC

Liz was the one who said Farley wasn't breathing, after the April rescue.

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howtheduck September 26 2024, 00:08:50 UTC

After John has his hands around Farley's neck, as I recollect.

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aprilp_katje September 26 2024, 00:31:38 UTC

Right, but I was responding to the notion that Farley might not have been dead yet and that John may have told the vet to "finish him off."

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chocolate_frapp September 22 2024, 21:30:14 UTC

I saw a thing on TV years ago about them making fake balls to put on fixed male dogs. One born every minute.

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aprilp_katje September 26 2024, 00:32:20 UTC

I heard about that too. Bonkers.

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