Nothing is as it Seems

[biigbanng]

Title: Nothing is as it Seems
Pairing: Kai/Kyunsoo
Genre: romance, comedy, slight angst
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Thanks to OrioleEnsor for editing
Word Count: 9822
Summary: Jongin, known as Kai to most people, was good at what he did, even though his friends considered what he did stupid and unethical. He couldn't change the fact that he was wanted by too many people. When he runs into Kyungsoo, quite literally, he makes him his new target, but maybe Kyungsoo is not all Jongin assumes him to be.



Jongin, known as Kai to most people, was good at what he did, even though his friends considered what he did to be stupid and unethical. He couldn't change the fact that he was wanted by too many people.

"Jongin, can you please stop ogling and focus on the assignment? We're in a fucking library for Christ's sake."

"It's not my fault these hot nerds are giving me 'the look'," Jongin retaliates after giving Sehun his full attention.

"You still didn't really tell me what 'the look' is," Luhan chimes in, wrapping an arm around Sehun's waist and pulling him closer. He was a new addition to the group, after he and Sehun started dating a few months ago.

Jongin sighs and leans back in his chair, mumbles something that sounds like ‘I give up on these people’, and crosses his arms. "The Look, my dear Luhan, is what people give me when they want to get into my pants. Sometimes it involves risen eyebrows or it might entail a wink, but mostly it has to do with dark eyes overtaken with lust and want."

"If you studied all those times you spent talking about yourself, you might have an A+ at the moment," Sehun cuts him off in mid self-infatuation. He swats at Luhan’s arm, taking him out if his reverie as he absorbs everything his obnoxious best friend just blabbered. "Don't listen to him; he's possessed by a devil, a very self-centered one."

Luhan laughs at Sehun’s cute comments and kisses him on the cheek, Jongin, however, doesn’t seem as pleased.

“Remind me why I am friends with you again?”

“Because I am the only person not hitting on your ugly ass, and the only person who can stand your egocentric personality,” Sehun snorts, looking back down at his notes and scribbling some information he deems important for his exams.

“Case proved. Our relationship is officially over. Do not, I repeat, do not talk to me again.”

He pushes his chair back noisily, and stands up; he turns around and walks away after giving a small wave to Luhan who waves back cheekily and he sends a glare to the back of Sehun’s head.

Jongin doesn’t consider himself egocentric, not at all, it wasn’t his fault that he was good looking. Since he was a little kid, aunties would pull his cheeks and leave red kiss marks on them; the kinds that took more than five minutes in the washroom for him to wash off. At the time he hated it, as soon as he knew people were coming over, he’d cower in his room until his mom’s voice would boom upstairs angrily telling him to come say hi to the guests and to entertain their children. He’d then have to come downstairs and get buried under welcoming kisses, and then suffer through two hours of girls drooling over him. As he grew older, he still received those red lipstick marks on his cheeks, but the entertainment he gave their daughters and sons turned into something completely different. Something their parents would definitely not approve of.

Lost in his own thoughts, Jongin runs into another student, scattering his sheets all over the ground.

“Whoa, watch where you’re going,” he spits at the boy who is now bent on his knees, picking up his sheets. When the student stands back up Jongin is taken aback by his face. He has the biggest eyes ever placed on his handsome face, and he looks completely lost and confused. Jongin has the sudden urge to push the boy up a wall and do things to him as he would watch his eyes get even bigger and the innocence echoing in them die down.

“Sorry,” big-eyes mumbles and starts to walk away at a quick pace.

After patting down his clothes, to make himself look fresher and running his hand through his hair quickly, Jongin walks away, with only one thought in his head; how to find his new target and achieve his goal.

X

“You complain about me when you guys keep swallowing each other.”

Sehun pulls away from Luhan, who pouts at the lack of contact, and grins up at Jongin, “at least we only swallow each other and not a different person every ten minutes, now if you’ll excuse me, Luhan looks way too edible right now.”

Jongin forces his grumble to stay in his throat as he finishes the last touches to his hair. He needs to look as sexy as possible if he was going clubbing; he still looks sexy without all these extra steps, he thinks.

It takes them ten minutes to get there by foot, the weather is beautiful and the breeze plays along their exposed skin gently. The feeling in his gut, tells Jongin that today he is going to have a lot of luck.

Jongin just winks at the bouncer by the door, who tries hard to hide his blushing face, as they slip in. They were regular customers, and he had paid the bouncer really well one night after walking out with no one hanging off his arms and found him standing outside with nothing better to do. The good looking bouncer was hot enough to take home that night. Of course it resulted in unlimited quick and free entries after that one incident, something Jongin used as his defence whenever Sehun complained about his promiscuous ways.

A few songs and shots later Jongin finds himself getting carried away by the music, and he doesn’t know who or what is grabbing onto him, but he doesn’t mind, as long as there is a body constantly stuck to his and moving along to his rhythm. He grinds and touches all the different people that have attached themselves to him at one point in time.

His eyes look up, searching for his best friend and his boyfriend but instead they fall onto a pair of really wide eyes. He’s stunned by the fact that the innocent boy would be attending a club at such a late hour but when he looks again, there’s only a tall, lanky guy with a freaky grin and a short dark-haired boy where big-eyes was standing just a second ago and he recognises them as Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Jongin quickly pulls away from the warm body enveloping him and scans the dark club in search of the boy. When he finds his target in the middle of the dance floor, he then rids himself of the body grinding on him. He takes big strides towards him and pulls him towards his body, rocking him along with him.

The boy startled by the sudden stranger hugging him tightly, gasps and his eyes involuntarily grow even wider. Jongin fights his facial expressions from splitting into a grin after witnessing the cute innocent boy’s dilemma. Not knowing how to react, he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck and he finds himself grinding back. Jongin is actually shocked at his dancing skills.

After a few minutes, Jongin bends down and whispers hotly in his ear, “Name?” He senses the tremble that runs through the lithe body and grins down at him.

“K-kyungsoo.”

“Mine’s Jongin.” He doesn’t know why he says his real name, instead of ‘Kai’ the name he usually gives his one night stands or targets; but the name is out before he can realize what he is doing.

A few weeks later Sehun stops Jongin before he leaves for the night, he looks really annoyed, “What’s up with you and wanting to go to the club every single night now? You need to study more often.”

“What’s up with you and studying, stop being a prune and give Luhan something to hold on to or he might leave you for someone kinky soon.”

Sehun’s frown seems etched as he glares at Jongin, but of course Jongin sees the flush that erupts onto his face.

“Luhan would never do that,” he mumbles and suddenly Jongin feels like a jerk for saying that to his best friend, he knows that Sehun had problems with his self-esteem at times and putting in doubts about his current boyfriend is the worst thing he could do to the younger boy. Jongin tends to forget that Sehun is much more sensitive then he put out.

“Of course he wouldn’t; unlike some jerks, Luhan really loves you.” Jongin sees Luhan approach them from behind and Sehun grins when he feels arms being wrapped around him.

“I do,” Luhan whispers in his ear and Jongin shudders and decides to leave before he vomits all over the place.

The smile that takes over the frown on his younger friend’s face makes him feel at ease as he walks away. At least he got to avoid answering Sehun’s prodding about his unsuccessful visits to the club.

X

“The rumours about D.O have been circulating like free food these past couple of days,” Sehun shares one day as they are having lunch at university.

“I always wanted to see what he looked like, all I ever heard was rumours; most of them were about how great he was though.”

Jongin growls at the sudden subject. The last thing he wanted to talk about was his ultimate nemesis; the reason his place as number one was at stake, the person who made his targets think twice before doing anything with him.

Sehun grins at the look Jongin gives them. “I guess you still haven’t found out anything new. Your skills are weakening, aren’t they now, and you used to call yourself ‘The King’.” Luhan snickers behind a hand and Jongin has lost all of his appetite. His thoughts on the latter were not a secret in his group of friends; they also know how agitated he becomes because of that.

He shoves some more food into his mouth, chewing slowly in hope that it’ll calm him down - the PDA his best friends are showing across from him is not helping - before he opens his mouth to speak. “I don’t know… it’s like there’s this rule where no one can point him out or speak about his true identity if they find out; something about losing his biggest weapon and touch. I don’t get it, everyone knows I’m Kai, yet D.O has to remain a secret, how is that fair in this ongoing war?” he ends it with something that sounds like that-stupid-little-idiot.

“What is this war exactly?” Luhan asks, with a raised eyebrow towards the boy across him who his currently glaring at his food.

“Well, ‘Kai’ was the most wanted guy on campus, by both girls and boys, but for the past few months, students have been talking about someone named D.O and his rise to overcoming the current number one. So obviously, this idiot over here,” Sehun points his fork at a still-glaring Jongin, “decided that he needed to assert his spot, and went around seducing people, more than usual. I guess D.O somehow sensed it and stepped up his game because Kai’s position is still being threatened.”

“And you don’t know who D.O is? I mean, how is this possible if everybody supposedly wants him?” Luhan elaborates, it all seems so much more confusing to him.

“I think that’s the whole point? Those who have been with this D.O have only spoken good things, yet, they never reveal his identity because they say that the find is exhilarating. Also, the thrill of being the only people who know is something they love. I guess everyone now wants D.O whether they know him or not. ‘Kai’ is so yesterday.” The growl that emits from the other boy’s throat reminds Luhan and Sehun that he is still there.

“I don’t even know him and I am suddenly dying to know his identity,” Luhan tries to whisper to Sehun but Jongin hears and grunts again.

Sehun laughs and agrees, “right?!”

X

“Where are you going?” Sehun asks his best friend as he’s about to leave early. “We didn’t even get to finish the movie.”

Luhan doesn’t say anything as Jongin leaves, sending the latter a wink (behind Sehun’s head) in thanks.

Sehun leans forward and pauses the movie, waiting for his friend to answer.

“Clubbing.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrow and then he suddenly looks like he got the answer to cancer, “I know! You’re looking for D.O, aren’t you? That’s why you keep going every night and you always seem defeated when you come back with no answers.”

Jongin only smirks at his best friend. If only Sehun knew that he was never looking for D.O but for Kyungsoo. Well he’s not lying, it’s Sehun who speculates and believes whatever he wants; he wasn’t planning on ruining his fun.

“Well, have fun guys. And I’ll probably just go sleep at my apartment tonight. I don’t feel like coming all the way back here.” He waves nonchalantly at the two lovers on the couch and leaves. The weather is slightly chillier than usual, but it’s still warm as Jongin walks towards the club. Every day he went searching for the small guy but he never found him. He was starting to think that it was a onetime thing and he lost his case.

It only made sense that Kyungsoo was probably dragged there by a friend that night; what would an innocent and nerdy boy like him be doing at a club then?

Jongin doesn’t even understand the pull that he has towards the other. Other than those big eyes, all he knows is his name. What is it that made him want the other as a target, that made him want to unravel his deepest secrets and break his protective wall. He was a good-looking man, that was true, but Jongin could get any other handsome or beautiful person. Jongin decides to ignore the thoughts that boggle his mind as he steps into the club - with a wink towards the bouncer - and he lets the pounding music wash away his feelings.

Without even a second to waste, he walks towards the bar and gulps down two cups of alcohol. When he feels that he has started to loosen up he grabs the first body he reaches on the dance floor and grinds against the said person.

“Oppa~” the girl whines into his ear, not at all sounding displeased, “I already had a partner.”

Jongin looks behind her at the boy whom is left with no partner, and Jongin’s eyes widen; he can almost rival Kyungsoo’s eyes. He somehow manages to push the girl away from him, pushing her onto another person and he pulls Kyungsoo flush against his body.

The shorter boy lets out a gasp but holds onto Jongin as well.

“Where have you been?” Jongin growls into his ear as he moves his body along with the music.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, not really understanding his meaning.

Jongin frowns, “I’ve come here every night since I saw you last time. You never came back.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen even more than usual, “I don’t come here often.”

“Then why are you here tonight?”

“I thought that I might see you here,” even in the dark Jongin knows that he is blushing and Kyungsoo averts his eyes from the intense gaze he receives.

Jongin stops moving as he hears the words. He suddenly can’t hold back; he grabs onto Kyungsoo’s arm and walks out of the club; pulling him behind him all the way to his close apartment.

As soon as they get inside, he doesn’t pause after closing the door, pushing Kyungsoo up against it and plastering his lips onto his. If Jongin is shocked that Kyungsoo kisses back immediately he doesn’t show it. He does pull back for a second when he realizes how good Kyungsoo kisses, before joining their lips again in no time. Kyungsoo’s plump lips feel so soft and warm, softer than he’s ever thought possible. They move in sync, and when Jongin pushes a tongue into the other’s warm mouth, Kyungsoo moans; the sound making Jongin even harder. He swipes his tongue into every nook and cranny, trying to elicit the delicious moans out of the latter and succeeds. When Jongin pulls away to lick at his strong and defined jaw, he sees Kyungsoo’s hooded lustful eyes and leans down to wrap the shorter man’s legs around himself. He doesn’t want to be away from him, not even a centimeter. Kyungsoo tightens his legs against the other’s waist and sucks a bruise into neck.

Jongin loses his sanity at the sensation of the other’s body and the sucking of his neck but manages to walk towards his bedroom and he places Kyungsoo on it before crawling over him and straddling him. He licks and nips at his jaw and neck, drowning in Kyungsoo’s moans as he lets his hands wander under his shirt and explore the soft plane of his stomach and chest. He feels the urge to mark him all over his body and takes off his shirt before pulling off Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo flushes when Jongin stares at him, and he pulls up his arms to cover himself but Jongin stops him.

“I want to see you… All of you.” His hands trail down and a thumb flicks over a hardened nub, making Kyungsoo arc into his touch. Jongin has never seen anything so beautiful before. He bends down and sucks onto a perked nipple while rolling the other between his thumb and index finger. Kyungsoo’s moans get louder and his pants and hard breathing are all Jongin can hear as he bites down softly on the nipple. Kyungsoo wriggles under him, and Jongin stars to feel a throbbing pain between his legs. He reaches down to pull down Kyungsoo’s zipper but small hands grab his before he can do anything.

“N-no.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” he coos and attempts to pull it down again but the hand tightens around his.

“Please. I’m not ready.”

Jongin looks up from their intertwined hands, and he looks straight into Kyungsoo’s pleading eyes and he sees the other trembling… in fear? His heart thumps wildly in his chest and he hears himself whisper hoarsely, “okay.”

Jongin is not sure what has gotten into him. This is the first time someone declines his advances and it’s also the first time he’s stopped halfway. His head hurts and the throbbing in between his legs does too. But he grabs the blanket and covers up the pale body before lying down next to him too. Jongin wants to cry, because he doesn’t know himself anymore, as he holds the other until he falls asleep and then slips out quietly to relieve himself.

When Jongin wakes up in the morning, the space next to him is empty; and he feels like a spot in his heart is now achingly empty as well.

He still feels like that two weeks after that incident, and Jongin has no energy to do anything. He lies in bed all day, rolling out to shuffle mindlessly through classes and comes back home to bed.

One night as he rolls around in bed, hoping to die a slow and painful death; Sehun barges into his room.

“Get out of bed now!”

Jongin turns around when Sehun turns the lights on and hides his face into a pillow as he covers his whole body under the covers.

“No,” his muffled reply is heard. Sehun comes by every day, dropping off food and sending Jongin disapproving looks, stating that he dislikes his lifestyle. He does realize that Jongin hasn’t been bringing anyone back home and stays away from spending too much time outside his apartment. His previous attempts have failed to change Jongin, so Sehun has no choice but to use his strongest and last weapon.

“You have five seconds to get out of bed or I swear I will call your mother and let her know that you have been doing this. She’ll end up here in no time, and she won’t leave before she treats this whole place like an army camp.”

At the mention of his mother, Jongin flails to get out of bed before Sehun even lets out his last breath, and a thump is heard throughout the whole apartment as he lands on the ground.

Jongin’s mother was the petite and round kind of woman. The kind you want to hug and never let go because she gives out warmth and her smiles lure you in. However, when she gets angry, the whole world tries to scramble away. She becomes a dictator, someone you can’t go against and will use any way to get her point across. The last time Sehun called her in (because Jongin was partying and sleeping around too much and not studying at all - of course he doesn’t tell her everything), she stayed for one whole week. Jongin came back a changed man, but a week later he reverted back to his ways, even though it was somewhat better than before.

“Whoa guys, no need to get violent-” Luhan stops in mid-sentence when he sees Jongin wriggle on the ground, surrounded by a cover like a cocoon and unable to free his arm and legs. He burst out laughing at the sight and so does Sehun.

“P-please, let me film this,” he stutters in between his laughter and pulls out his phone.

“I. Will. Kill. You,” Jongin seethes and makes an effort to glare at the older boy, but his current situation makes Luhan laugh even harder and Sehun’s chuckles are also heard.

Sehun bends down and pulls the cover off of him and pulls him up by the arm. “Go take a shower. You stink.” Sehun pushes him towards the washroom, while Jongin glares at Luhan and his phone, and closes the door behind him.

“What? Are you guys joined by the hip or something? Stop dragging that piece of shit everywhere you go,” Jongin yells from behind the door, as he shuffles to take off his boxers and step into the shower.

“Sorry, but we are joined by the hip. So get used to me,” Luhan shouts back and tries to muffle his laughter in Sehun’s neck after he wraps him in his arms.

Sehun grabs Luhan’s waist and pulls him closer. “Stop making fun of him, he’s already depressed,” he mockingly yells but the smirk on his face is still evident.

“I promise I’ll stop if…”

“If what?”

“If you kiss me,” Luhan responds as he pulls back to stare at Sehun with a gentle smile.

“Deal.” Sehun smiles and leans down to link their lips together.

“Ewww, can you guys get a room?” Jongin says and cuts Sehun before he can retaliate, “somewhere else.”

“Can you go put some clothes on?” Sehun dead-pans as water drops slide off Jongin’s chest and join the rest on the towel hanging loosely off of his hips.

“I’m sexy and you know it.”

Sehun fights hard to keep his eyes from rolling. “Get dressed, we’re going clubbing.”

“No!” Jongin yells from inside his room and time stops for Sehun and Luhan.

Luhan’s eyes widen, “D-did he just say n-no?”

Sehun stumbles into Jongin’s room and puts his palm up against Jongin’s forehead. He looks back at Luhan who still has wide eyes, “Normal temperature.” Jongin takes a step back, letting Sehun’s hand drop off aimlessly.

“I’m fine, I just don’t want to. Okay?” he mumbles, and then realizes that he has no excuse for his actions. Of course his friends would think he was sick. He was Kai; the one and only.

“Maybe it’s not a fever. Maybe it’s internal… a mind disease!” Luhan says frantically and Sehun nods with wide eyes too. Jongin groans and walks past them to sit on his couch, he props his feet up on his table. He points at his apartment door letting his friends know that they can go ahead without him. They walk slowly towards the door, taking sideway glances at him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call your mother?” Sehun asks at the last minute and Jongin just glares at him, so he sighs and closes the door behind him.

X

“Hey.”

Jongin looks up from his cup of coffee right into really big eyes. His eyes widen but he controls his expression, hoping that the other hasn’t realized.

“Hey,” he answers back.

Jongin fights the urge to hug him as Kyungsoo looks lost and he’s biting his lower lip in thought. Kyungsoo suddenly looks up and smiles, and pulls back the chair opposite Jongin’s to sit down. They are currently in a coffee shop on campus. It was slightly further than the rest, so it was usually empty. Jongin likes coming here because there were less people staring at him, and one of his really good friends works there.

“I’m sorry for not contacting you for the past week or so. Something came up at home, so I went back to my hometown.” Jongin wants to smile but Kyungsoo is looking straight at him.

“Oh. I hope everything is okay now.” It sounds more like a question than a statement and Kyungsoo nods. They sit there in silence not knowing what to say when a voice interrupts them.

“Here’s your coffee, Kyungsoo-ah.”

They both look up at Baekhyun, as he puts down Kyungsoo’s mug. Baekhyun is about to walk away when his eyes land on the person sitting across from Kyungsoo.

“Oh Kai,” he looks surprised; his eyes shift to Kyungsoo’s in a questioning look. “You guys know each other?”

“We met recently,” Jongin replies and cranes his neck to see if Chanyeol was working. He hasn’t seen him for a while.

“B-but,” Baekhyun starts but when his eyes land on Kyungsoo’s again he pulls away. “Enjoy your coffee,” he mumbles and walks away briskly.

“What was that about?” Jongin laughs uncomfortably and Kyungsoo shrugs. Time passes by quickly as they chat about school and work. They get lost in each other’s stories, and he wonders what it would be like to have stories together to share with other people. Jongin doesn’t want to leave; being with Kyungsoo makes him feel comfortable. He feels like he is Jongin and not Kai; like Kyungsoo wants to get to know the real him.

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo as he speaks animatedly about the time he forgot his wallet and phone at the supermarket and had to bus for two hours in order to get them back before it was too late. His eyes grow wider as he reminisces about it, as if he’s just lost them. His arms flail when he describes his panic, and his pink soft lips (the bottom one is slightly chapped because Kyungsoo keeps biting it) move a mile an hour. Jongin no longer wants to push him up against a wall just to be the first to ruin his innocence, or to watch his eyes grow even wider. He wants to caress his body, he wants to hold him as if he’d break, let their heartbeats pump at the same time, and he wants to hear those moans again; the ones that haven’t even been able to leave his thoughts.

“Oh, I have to go. I have class in ten minutes,” Kyungsoo exclaims and he suddenly stands up in a hurry. Jongin find himself standing up as well, “I’ll walk you.”

Even though Kyungsoo assures Jongin that he’d be able to go alone, Jongin ends up stubbornly convincing him until they find themselves in front of Kyungsoo classroom.

“Well, ummm.”

“Yeah, well…bye,” Jongin splutters awkwardly. Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip, in an attempt to hide his smile.

“Thanks.”

Jongin nods and Kyungsoo turns around to open the door.

“Wait!” Jongin suddenly says and Kyungsoo turns around with big questioning eyes. “Do you want to do something this weekend?” He blurts out the question in a hurry, before he loses his confidence. This had never occurred to Jongin before; he never even had to ask such things, seeing as people just flocked around him for his attention.

Kyungsoo smiles and he looks contempt, “Sure.”

“Okay, I’ll text you!” Jongin says with a splitting grin on his face. He jumps up and down when Kyungsoo walks into his classroom, and he even squeals like a little girl; until he realizes that he didn’t ask for his number. And just like that his happiness is gone.

X

The weekend comes by quickly and Jongin is restless all of Saturday morning. He picks out his outfit and hangs it up behind the door. Eats breakfast and even cleans his apartment just in case they come back together later. He even double checks his bedside drawer to make sure he’s still got lube and condoms (hey, you never know).

By the time it is the afternoon, Jongin has redone all the things and even studied a little bit - people are attracted to educated individuals - and he picks up Kyungsoo.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Baekhyun,” Jongin says when Kyungsoo slides into the passenger seat.

Kyungsoo shakes his head and smiles, “he actually told me before you texted me.”

“Oh,” he replies awkwardly; inwardly thinking about talking to Chanyeol later about keeping his boyfriend’s big mouth closed.

If Kyungsoo is shocked at the reservation Jongin was able to get at the restaurant, he doesn’t show it. Of course he doesn’t know that Jongin actually got a hook-up through one of his really good friend and he doesn’t need to know. They order the food, and get into a slow pace of conversations, varying between university, work and friends. Jongin is so comfortable that he almost groans when the waiter brings them their platters and cuts into their conversation.

By the time they are done, it’s already night time and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen when they pass by a movie theater, Jongin catches his fleeting expression and casually asks him if he would like to watch a movie. He really wants to lean over and kiss Kyungsoo when his face lightens up cutely at the question and he nods excitedly. He’s almost skipping through the entrance, and Jongin reaches over and grabs Kyungsoo’s hand. Kyungsoo is shocked at first but then he squeezes back and Jongin grins down at him, because the warmth he feels seeping through Kyungsoo’s hand puts him at ease.

Kyungsoo looks at everything wide-eyed but he finally decides to watch a comedy-action. Jongin is relieved that Kyungsoo didn’t pick a romance or anything; or he would have had to sit through an hour and a half of complete and utter torture, fighting with himself not to gag.

“I used to come here a lot with my parents when I was younger,” Kyungsoo reveals as they buy their popcorn and there is a grin on his face that Jongin has never seen before. “I’m glad you brought me here,” Kyungsoo whispers into his ear, when they get seated in the dark. Jongin shudders at the hot sensation of Kyungsoo’s breath, and Kyungsoo leans a bit too close making his lips brush softly onto the shell of Jongin’s ear. If it was another date, then he would have known that it was on purpose, but it’s Kyungsoo and so Jongin just smiles at him and forces his mind, and body, to stay calm for the rest of the night.

When the movie is over, it’s past 11, so Jongin drives Kyungsoo home in comfortable silence. Kyungsoo yawns but tries to hide it and Jongin fights down the urge to squeal at his cuteness. Being with Kyungsoo brings forward a lot of actions Jongin would not do otherwise.

“Thanks for tonight, I had fun,” Kyungsoo blushes, “I haven’t had this much fun at a date for a while.”

Jongin is shocked that Kyungsoo had dated before. Not that he wasn’t attractive, of course he was, but Kyungsoo just seems like the introverted kind. He seems like the kind of person that would study all day and have time for no one else. A million questions run through Jongin’s mind and he’s dying to know the answers. How many have you dated? How far did you go? Were they good to you? Did you love them? Am I better; am I more attractive? He just smiles at Kyungsoo, deciding that now he had more reason to see him again.

When he gets home, there is a big lump on his couch and Jongin turns on the lights in shock. Sehun and Luhan finally realize that the lights are now on, and that there is an amused Jongin standing by the entrance. They detach their lips and pull away from each other, running their hands through their hair in a last minute attempt to look decent.

“Are you guys seriously making out on my couch?” he says amused but then asks mockingly, “You don’t have a couch in your own apartment?”

“We wanted to surprise you,” Sehun mumbles with swollen red lips.

“Well, you sure did,” his tone is still as mocking as before as he saunters over and pushes Luhan closer to Sehun in order to fit on the couch as well.

Luhan and Sehun cuddle comfortably in the little space they have left, and Jongin wishes he brought Kyungsoo back with him.

“How was your date?” Sehun asks him, and pulls him out of his reverie.

“What? What are you talking about?” He asks nonchalantly.

Sehun raises an eyebrow, “Jongin, we’ve known each other for years. The outfit you’re wearing screams ‘I-wanna-get-laid-tonight.”

Luhan snickers, “well the message clearly didn’t get across to the other person if he’s here this early.”

Jongin groans and pushes Luhan further away from him, “what did I tell you about dragging this jerk here with you?”

“Don’t call Luhan a jerk! He’s so sweet!” Sehun yells out, kissing Luhan’s pout off of his face. “Plus, he’s got a point.”

Jongin crosses his arms and huffs, “My outfit did not scream I-wanna-get-laid. I was just trying to look presentable. Okay?”

After a while, Luhan excuses himself to go to the bathroom and Sehun scoots closer to Jongin, wrapping his arms around him and laying his face onto his shoulder.

“Jonginnie,” he coos, sensing that Jongin is agitated from the second he walked in. Sehun knows that he is the only person allowed to call him that, and the only person allowed to snuggle with him. “What’s bothering you? Huh?” he pulls away slightly and pats Jongin on the head soothingly. Jongin pouts and shrugs, not wanting to talk about it, making Sehun sigh at the cold response.

“I don’t know what’s happening exactly. But I really care for you, Jongin, so I will tell you this as a person who’s just like a brother to you so don’t get mad. Watch out, okay? The last time you acted like this was when you dated - him - and you were so devastated when he left, you completely changed.” Sehun tells him in a soothing manner, not trying to piss him off, “just make sure you know what you’re getting into before getting in too deep.”

Jongin looks away, of course he remembers, ‘him’, Kris, the guy who swept him off his feet, and treated him like he was the most precious person ever. He had seen a future with him, but he didn’t expect Kris to just up and leave when he realized how Jongin was not ready to take things too far, and he left him for another person who was more “fun”.

“This time it’s different. I’m sure of it. He’s different.” Jongin is not sure if he’s trying to convince Sehun or himself.

X

The next few months pass by quickly. Jongin bumping into Kyungsoo more often than not and hanging out with him becomes more of a natural occurrence than anything. They go to museums, walk at parks, have dinner at Jongin’s apartment (Jongin burned the food the first time so Kyungsoo has cooked since), watch movies at the theatre (they get kicked out one day for laughing too loud and trying to feed each other popcorn by throwing them into each other’s mouths), and they even do homework together. Jongin goes clubbing less, and does not hook-up with any other person; his title as number one is soon snatched by D.O but that does not bother Jongin at all. Before he knew it, Jongin is overtaken with thoughts of Kyungsoo. He would spend his time in class wondering what Kyungsoo is doing. He would watch as the minutes ticked by slowly, before class would end and he could meet Kyungsoo at the café for another meeting. He was attached and it was too late to go back. Because he’s fallen head over heels for the short, round faced, bug-eyed Kyungsoo. He adores his grins, especially when he bites on his bottom lip cutely. He loves his cooking, especially watching him cook. And even though they are not officially together and haven’t tried anything since the last time, Jongin is okay with it, because he loves Kyungsoo and he decides that he will love him for who he is.

“Jongin, why are you looking at me like that?” Kyungsoo asks.

Jongin comes back to reality, and realizes that he has been staring at Kyungsoo with a smile all this time. “I’m not. I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“What were you thinking about?” Kyungsoo asks, he puts his pen down on his notebook and gives Jongin all of his attention.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Jongin says and smiles, because if Kyungsoo keeps looking at him like that then he might blurt out his feelings. “Do you have dark circles?” he asks, changing the subject, and he leans forward, wiping his thumb under Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, “oh yeah. I studied all night,” he says sheepishly, quickly looking away.

X

Jongin is watching television in Sehun’s apartment when Sehun sighs out loud and crosses his arms. Jongin attempts to hide the smile that is fighting to escape, he knows why Sehun is annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” he asks without looking away from the show currently airing.

Sehun sighs again but says nothing. Opting to play this game as well, Jongin doesn’t pester him for an answer.

“Why are you always here these days?” Sehun’s voice sounds strained, Jongin knows he’s trying hard not to blow.

“Am I not allowed at my best friend’s apartment?”

Sehun’s fists his hands and Jongin almost chuckles aloud, it is so easy to annoy the younger man. He raises the television volume up and sighs contently.

“Of course you’re allowed, but not 24/7,” Sehun unclenches and clenches his fists.

Jongin eyes them wearily and wonders how far he can take this. “What do you mean? I clearly give you and Luhan enough time to fu-” he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Sehun lunges towards him, and wraps his fingers around his neck.

“You were doing this on purpose weren’t you?”

Jongin is laughing under him and squirming as he tries to pry Sehun off of him. A few minutes later, both boys pull away unscathed. Jongin knows he will get a bruise on his abdomen, where Sehun poked him endlessly, where he is most ticklish. Sehun’s hair is all over the place, he looks like he just woke up.

“Stupid little fucker, you are not allowed here for the next week. I need to recuperate all my lost time with Luhan.”

There’s a long pause before Sehun smirks, “So… I guess you haven’t been getting any with Kyungsoo if you’re here, so often, cockblocking.”

Jongin’s eyebrows furrow and he looks away, making Sehun laugh when he realizes that he hit jackpot.

“Awwwe,” he coos, “is the little baby angry now?”

“Shut up.”

“I guess you really like him if you are holding back like this,” Sehun says and he is looking at Jongin straight in the eyes with a serious face.

“I don’t like him,” Jongin says and Sehun opens his mouth, obviously to disagree, “I love him.”

Sehun’s mouth closes and opens repeatedly like a fish and he settles with grinning. Suddenly Jongin is hit with a hard body and long limbs as Sehun engulfs him.

“I’m so proud of you,” his words are muffled in Jongin’s shirt as he pats him on the head; “I thought you’d never admit it.”

X

Kyungsoo and Jongin are cuddled up on the couch while they watch a movie. Jongin is sitting with his half his back on the armrest with Kyungsoo between his legs. It’s easy to just sit here quietly; there is no need to fill the silence with their voices. Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably when the main characters kiss so Jongin leans down and kisses his neck softly. He thinks that it should calm him down but Kyungsoo wriggles even more, and twists slightly to be able to place his lips on Jongin’s mouth.

Jongin cannot hold back any longer, and slips his tongue into Kyungsoo’s mouth eliciting a moan from the latter. They’ve never gone too far, giving each other quick hand jobs in the quiet mornings and blowjobs during showers. However, this time Jongin knows that he won’t be able to hold back. Not when Kyungsoo is so pliant and voicing out cute little whimpers and moans. He knows he will not stop tonight when Kyungsoo completely shifts and straddles his hips, his warm thighs are tight around him, and Jongin wants the clothes separating them to vanish. He pulls away and lifts the shirt off of Kyungsoo’s torso, making Kyungsoo shift even closer to get warmth from his body. He kisses Kyungsoo slowly, stopping to lick down his neck and lap at his clavicles. When Kyungsoo moans again, Jongin leans forward and whispers into his ear, “I want you tonight,” and Kyungsoo blushes and kisses him harder.

He carries Kyungsoo to his room quickly and lays him down gently while he looks through his drawer for his lube. When he comes back, he can’t breathe, because Kyungsoo removed his pants and he looks so hot in just his boxers, with his legs opened wide. Jongin settles between his thighs after removing all his clothes, and takes a nipple into his mouth where he knows Kyungsoo is very sensitive. Kyungsoo whimpers when Jongin flicks it with his tongue so he pulls away and slides down, placing soft kisses down his bare stomach and sucking whenever he hits a spot that makes Kyungsoo shiver and tremble.

It is so easy to rile him up and Jongin leans down and places an open mouthed kiss on the wet spot forming on his boxers, making Kyungsoo buck up frenziedly. He takes him in his mouth and Kyungsoo whines a quiet ‘Jongin’, while pushing him away. Jongin chuckles, because Kyungsoo is just so cute when he is demanding, and he leans back to pull off his boxers easily. He throws them on the ground, where they join the rest of their clothes. He sucks on Kyungsoo’s thighs making him tremble, they are so white and Jongin marks him just where he can see. He then leans down and licks the head, and Kyungsoo bucks again, Jongin has no choice but to hold his hips down. When he takes Kyungsoo back into his mouth, he moans loudly, unable to retain his pleasure. He bobs his head a couple of times, while stopping to lick under the head when he presses a lubed finger into Kyungsoo. He puts it in slightly before pulling back out, to make sure not to move too quickly.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says breathlessly and Jongin presses in a little deeper. “Please-“ and Kyungsoo gasps when Jongin inserts his whole finger. He pumps slowly at first making sure Kyungsoo gets used to it.

“I’m putting in another one,” Jongin murmurs, “tell me if you want me to stop.” Kyungsoo nods, not trusting his voice and his breath hitches when another finger is added. Jongin knows Kyungsoo got used to it after he starts thrusting back down onto his fingers so he takes Kyungsoo back into his mouth before inserting a third finger. Shockingly, Kyungsoo takes that one well too.

He twists his fingers and Kyungsoo screams when he pushes into his bundle of nerves. Jongin presses harder and hits that spot every time he thrusts his three fingers back in. Kyungsoo is now riding back down on his fingers desperately.

“Ah-Jongin. Please…I need you,” Kyungsoo’s moans are making Jongin even harder. He pulls his fingers out to put lube on himself and Kyungsoo whines impatiently.

Jongin crawls over Kyungsoo and kisses him softly and slowly, sucking on Kyungsoo’s tongue. Kyungsoo is so pliant and he’s trembling under him, and Jongin loves him so much. He can’t hold back any longer, but he wants to do this for Kyungsoo and not for himself. He pushes in slowly, inch by inch, until he is fully sheathed, and his eyes almost roll back as the heat engulfs him and it’s just so tight. Kyungsoo thrusts after a few moments, silently pleading for Jongin to move. Jongin pulls out until only the head is still inside of Kyungsoo and then he thrusts fully back in, making Kyungsoo whimper. Kyungsoo is scratching his back and his other hand is in his hair, pulling relentlessly.

“Oh my god!” he wails when Jongin hits that spot again and he is thrusting back, making Jongin groan when he goes even deeper. Kyungsoo is close, he feels his walls clench down on him, so he reaches between them and tugs at him a few times. Kyungsoo moans when he pushes his thumb in his slit and he comes in spurts, marking both their stomachs in white. Jongin thrusts erratically a few more times, rhythm gone, and when Kyungsoo’s walls clench around him, he sees white behind his eyelids and he releases. Jongin is unable to hold himself up and he collapses on top of Kyungsoo.

“That was --,” Kyungsoo begins but he’s so winded.

“I know,” Jongin mutters, and pulls back to kiss him, he’s so dizzy when he pulls back. Kyungsoo groans once Jongin pulls out and he feels his release trickle down his thighs. “I need to take a shower now.”

Jongin perks up and probes, “another round in the shower?” He quickly gets out of bed and follows Kyungsoo, who grins after rolling his eyes.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo murmurs into Jongin’s ear. Their limbs are tangled, their bodies hidden underneath bed covers.

“Hmmm,” Jongin murmurs, he doesn’t want to break the comfortable silence enveloping them; he’s so satiated at the moment.

“Would you forgive me?”

Jongin opens his eyes, and looks down at Kyungsoo, his eyes are wide, questioning. It almost seems like he is afraid.

He smiles down at him, and leans down to plant a kiss on his lips making Kyungsoo sigh. It’s soft and slow, and Jongin doesn’t want to pull away. “What are you talking about, babe?”

“Do you care about my past?”

Jongin thinks about it, and he realizes that his past is probably not even better. Who he was in the past, changed when he saw Kyungsoo. “No; I don’t. What matters is that you are here with me now.”

Kyungsoo sighs, relieved. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jongin lets his finger wander, and he pokes Kyungsoo in the ribs, Kyungsoo squeals, and jerks away.

“Jongin~” he whines. But Jongin is unwilling to stop, he pokes him with his other arm too, hitting all his sensitive spots, making Kyungsoo splutter in laughter. Kyungsoo tries to wiggle free, but Jongin has him secured with his limbs and he straddles the smaller. And he can’t help but laugh along because his laugh is perfect. Kyungsoo is perfect.

X

Jongin is in black sweats and a grey wife-beater, with his feet propped up on his coffee table, flipping through random television channels. He wanted to go out tonight but Kyungsoo said he had a lot of assignments to get done.

Suddenly his front door bursts open and two frantic people walk in. “Can you guys ever knock?” Jongin grunts, not trying to show them that he was shook by their sudden appearances.

“Oh my God, Jongin, I don’t know how to tell you this!” Sehun almost shrieks, and he looks like he wants to pull his hair out. Luhan looks just as displeased but rubs soothing circles on his back but Sehun does not calm down.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin stands up and crosses the little space between them, pulling Sehun to the couch. He hasn’t seen Sehun this frantic since the last time something really bad happened, and that included a cheating boyfriend.

“D-D.O,” he blurts and looks around, not knowing how to get his message across without hurting his best friend.

Jongin laughs, and leans back in the couch. “Seriously, Sehun? Did you have to come here and rub in that you found out who he -”

“He’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo,” Sehun whispers; almost as if he’s hoping that Jongin won’t hear him.

Jongin’s world comes crashing down; his chest constricts and his breathing becomes erratic. He sees red; he almost doesn’t want to believe it. He wants to stand up and scream liar at his best friend, blaming him for ruining him, for ruining Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo wouldn’t do this to him, he wouldn’t lie to him, and he wouldn’t lead him on. He loved him, didn’t he? Did he?

“Oh my god, Jongin, please, breathe. Please!” Sehun panics and Jongin takes a deep breath.

“Get out.”

“Bu -”

“Get out!” he yells frantically, and both Sehun and Luhan know that it is better to leave him alone. Jongin never lets others see him in his most vulnerable moments and this is one of those times. Sehun chokes back a sob, tears falling freely down his face. He knows how hurt Jongin is, how shattered he truly feels but there is nothing he can do; it feels like a replay of the time he found out about Kris. Except at that time Sehun was alone, and there wasn’t someone grabbing his wrist and pulling him out of the apartment.

“Jongin, remember, I love you,” Sehun words towards him, and he takes one last look at Jongin’s back and sees his shaking shoulders and his heart shatters as well.

They hear the raking sobs as soon as the door is closed and Sehun spends the whole night in Luhan’s arms sitting outside Jongin’s apartment, through the sound of breaking glass, and the thumps that come after punches and kicks, and he sits through the wails and imagines the tears. Jongin is once again broken, but Sehun doesn’t know of glue strong enough to stick him back together this time.

X

A week passes by and every day Jongin thinks that tomorrow will be easier but it never is. He thinks back and he starts to doubt everything Kyungsoo has ever told him. He tries; he really does, to forget his pain. But everywhere he looks, he is reminded of Kyungsoo. He cannot stand his kitchen anymore; half the pots were bought by Kyungsoo after he took a look and declared that none of them were good enough. His bedroom was even worse, his bed sheets and pillows smelling faintly like Kyungsoo. Jongin spent most of his time outside of his apartment, where fewer things remind him of a wide-eyed man he still loved deeply.

He even keeps his phone off all the time now. Kyungsoo continues to call him regularly, leaving him voicemails that verge on desperate. But Jongin cannot believe it anymore. He can’t believe a single word. Kyungsoo was playing him; it was a plan all along. And even though Jongin wants to pick up and yell at him angrily, he knows that when he answers and hears his voice he will blow and he will end up sobbing through the handset.

After Kris cheated, Jongin ruined himself. He turned into Kai; it was always easier to forget when he was Kai. It was always easier to act like there was no pain to begin with. But this time Jongin is unable to, Kai reminds him of Kyungsoo just as much as Jongin does. Kai met Kyungsoo first, and Jongin fell in love with him.

Jongin is done class for the day and he is lost in his own thoughts when he bumps into a smaller person. He is about to excuse himself and help him up when his eyes meet Kyungsoo’s and his heart beats painfully in his chest. The pain he was able to lock up for a while floods into him, into his blood, and he wants to pull Kyungsoo into a hug but push him away at the same time.

“Oh my god! Jongin, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I thought something happened to you, and you never picked up-“

“Stop,” Jongin whispers sorely.

“And you were never at ho-” Kyungsoo blabbers on, and he looks so small and confused and Jongin takes a step back when Kyungsoo steps forward.

“Stop talking!” he yells getting the attention of a few students around them. He’s unable to handle anymore of seeing Kyungsoo look at him with such loving and caring eyes. Kyungsoo splutters in mid-sentence and he stares at him with confusion.

“Was it fun?” Jongin then asks him. Because he wants to know, he thinks that it will help him get over this quicker.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks softly and takes a step forward but stops when Jongin steps back again.

“Did you enjoy playing with Kai? Huh? Was it fun when you made him fall in love with D.O?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he is in shock. Fear settles on his face and his mouth opens to say something. Jongin closes his eyes; he tries to block this entire encounter out because he realizes that it is actually too soon for this.

“J-jongin,” he begins but then stops, “h-how did you know?”

A laugh sputters out of Jongin and Kyungsoo winces because it sounds so bitter, “of course, all you care about is how to keep your identity a secret.”

“No!” Kyungsoo yells, and steps forward, “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how! Please Jongin, please let me explain.” Kyungsoo’s eyes are pleading and Jongin feels tears start to collect at the corner of his eyes, because he does not know if this is sincere or just another ploy.

Kyungsoo realizes that he has hurt Jongin when the pain is evident on his face. He leans forward wanting to hold Jongin but he jerks away quickly. A sob escapes Kyungsoo when he realizes how much he hurt Jongin and how hard this will be. His own world comes crashing down and he is desperate for Jongin.

“I love you, Jongin. I really do. This started as a joke, I just wanted to show you how much stronger D.O was, and I ended up getting to know you. I expected you to be a jerk, and selfish and obnoxious but you were the complete opposite. And this is going to sound like a lie, but I was happiest when I was with you. I did not expect to fall in love but I did, and I never wanted to hurt you. Please, give me another chance, Jongin.” Kyungsoo cannot see Jongin clearly through his tears and he blinks a few times to see clearly.

“You were only ever interested in Kai,” Jongin mumbles, and walks away, even though it really hurts. He wants to turn back but he wills his legs to keep walking.

X

There’s a loud knock at Jongin’s door and he jumps at the sound since he was not expecting anyone. He is shocked when he opens it and finds Chanyeol standing there. Chanyeol gives him a big smile and Jongin steps aside to let him in.

“Did Kyungsoo send you here?” he asks bitterly, but there is hope swelling in his heart.

“No, Baekhyun did,” Chanyeol answers sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

“Oh.”

As soon as Chanyeol takes a seat he begins. “Listen, I know I don’t have the right to say anything. But Kyungsoo is miserable and so are you. He feels horrible for what he did and he feels like he has no right to come and face you. He thinks that there is no chance for him. He’s really sorry.”

“He doesn’t seem apologetic,” Jongin retorts coldly. “He didn’t even try to contact me once.”

“Which is why I am here,” Chanyeol says but continues when Jongin looks at him questioningly, “he can’t even mention your name without bawling his eyes out. He tried to call you a few times but it ended in him hanging up before the phone could even ring and burying himself on his bed while sobbing. Baekhyun couldn’t handle it anymore after the first few days.” Chanyeol chuckles lightly and Jongin smiles as he imagines Kyungsoo doing those things but he wipes the smile off quickly.

“Thanks for coming by,” Jongin tells him with a polite smile and Chanyeol gets the cue; he excuses himself and leaves quietly.

Jongin finds himself in front of Kyungsoo’s door that night. He doesn’t realize where he is until he looks up at the front door. Before he can change his mind, he knocks softly; because a part of him hopes Kyungsoo is not home at the moment. No one answers the door and Jongin steps away in defeat, and he knows he should feel relieved but he is disappointed. He knows he has forgiven Kyungsoo, when his memories of the latter became painful instead of angering. The most prominent one was when he had told Kyungsoo that he didn't care about his past, and he realized that it was true; he didnt'.

The door creaks open slowly, and he turns around to find Kyungsoo looking even smaller than usual. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen when he realizes that it’s Jongin and his mouth drops open.

“Hey,” Jongin says quietly.

“Hey.” Jongin almost winces at Kyungsoo’s hoarse voice. They stand there in silence, staring at each other, wanting to hold each other close but being too scared to take the first step forward.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo blurts while Jongin can’t hold back and says “I missed you,” at the same time.

Kyungsoo opens the door wider and flings himself into Jongin’s arms, holding on tightly because this is the only place he ever wanted to be and ever would want to be.

“I’m so so sorry,” he mumbles into Jongin’s neck and he is afraid to let go again.

“You’re not allowed to go clubbing ever again,” Jongin states and Kyungsoo mumbles a quiet okay. He would give up the world for the younger man. Jongin forgives him because even though he is still slightly hurt, his times with Kyungsoo were his happiest.

Sehun is delighted when he gets to school the next morning and finds Jongin making out with Kyungsoo. The two lean away from each other, and grin up at Sehun, who quickly takes a seat across from them.

It is then that Kyungsoo and Jongin hear the quiet murmurs around them. ‘Is Kai dating that little nerd?’ ‘He looks so innocent, Kai’s gonna devour him.’ ‘Poor thing, doesn’t know what he got himself into.’

And Jongin chuckles, “If only they knew.” He pulls Kyungsoo closer to him and wraps his arms around him, because Kyungsoo is his.

A/N: /cries. Finally got this done! Comments would be appreciated :)