Recap: Trash
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Rated PG-13 for language, silliness and the discussion of nakedness.
My recap ended up being a short fiction in journal entry form told from Mal’s point-of-view. Hope you enjoy! :D
Tuesday the 9th.
Nothing of world-shattering importance today, in fact everything was pretty predictable. Kaylee whined about needing a new part; Jayne complained about us not being in port long enough to “get some” (Inara also shot me a dark look when this was brought up at breakfast… A look that doesn’t bode well for me); Wash shrugged flying duties onto me so he and Zoë could have more “alone time” (I shutter to think what that means); River was coherent enough to spout off some nonsense about me being tainted with orange and red; and it seems nothing is ever clean enough for Simon. Not the infirmary, not the hold, not the mess hall, and certainly not the passenger dorms.
As I said before, nothing unusual. Well at least tomorrow we’re taking on new cargo and I might get a chance to see Monty!
Wednesday the 10th.
Sometimes I really hate my life. No, really. Had a routine pick-up today, nothing fancy, but was excited (at the time) at getting the chance to see Monty. Most especially since I hadn’t seen him for quite sometime before.
In fact, I think the last time I saw him must have been when Zoë and Wash went on their honeymoon. Ah, good times. Except for of course, waking up on the last day, hung-over as hell, naked and without any money… Not like it was the first time that had happened. Monty sure does like to party (although he doesn’t seem the type, it is true).
Where was I? Right, the drop off. So while I did get a chance to see Monty, I also got to live through an unfortunate reunion with my “wife”, Saffron. Boy isn’t she just a joy. (Note to self: must remember that sarcasm doesn’t really work in written word.)
Though thinking back, I feel bad that I am too nice of a guy to have taken advantage of her (while patting her down). Hey, she suggested it! And I am a guy after all, a guy who hasn’t had his needs seen to in a long damn time.
The next bit of trouble that rained down upon me and mine can be traced back to that damn whore, sorry companion, using her feminine whiles on me.
That combined with her calling me a petty thief, may have possibly caused me lose my temper enough to do something rash… Like take little old wifey out of the storage bin and let her explain her stupid scheme.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I can admit I sure don’t like the plan. Something about it just makes me feel uneasy.
Thursday the 11th.
I’m a little nervous about how quiet Zoë’s being about the whole thing (besides the part I asked her to play before I pulled dear little Saffron out of her crate). Plus, after Jayne got back from talking with the dear old Tam’s yesterday, he was really creeped out. And a spooked Jayne before a job was never a good sign.
Least of all Kaylee and Wash came through for me today. Got some good ideas those two. Now all we got to do is each play our part, and hope for the best.
Of course, the day of traveling towards a job is always the hardest. Everyone’s looking over their shoulders, worried whether or not we can pull off the heist.
Well, here’s hoping I’ll get some sleep tonight.
Friday the 12th.
The day started off a lot better than I could have hoped. Saffron got us through the back door, and seemed to know her way around. Though things looked good, it didn’t help the uneasy feeling that had grown over a sleepless night; and at the time I had no idea how bad things were about to go.
From Zoë’s report after the fact, everything went well, besides a minor Jayne-electrocution. But then, it wouldn’t be a proper heist without someone getting hurt, good and proper. Though I suppose we still could have done without that, as my pride did get hurt something fierce a little later on.
So we (me and my horrifying not-wife Saffron) ended up finding the Lassiter in good time. And we could have easily made our escape if not for one of her husbands showing up. He wasn’t even a criminal like all of the husbands of hers I knew! No, he was rich, proper, and seemingly a nice guy who cared about a slime ball like her.
I wasn’t surprised to see her turn the waterworks on him, but I was genuinely surprised to realize that she was a pretty good actor. But then she’d also tricked my entire crew before.
At the time, the guy seemed like just another dupe, but he showed his true colors soon enough. His move to call the Fed's was cleaver and quite pithy; I couldn’t blame him for his foresight, and was I beginning to feel a slight amount of camaraderie for the man. And now, here I was again - on the run - a woman tagging along, that I had no amount of want to be around.
Ah Yo-Saff-Bridge (as I’ve taken to calling her), what a little vixen in disguise. After our tearful, and somewhat embarrassing “talk” she, of course, stole my gun. And let me tell you, I was so excited to once again, to be on the wrong end of her pistol (if there was such a thing as a short-hand for a sigh, and I knew it, it’d be written here). Then of course she took my clothes, and then I was absolutely sure the day would get even worse.
From remarks Zoë, Kaylee and Wash made later, it seems that the red-haired double-crosser did some subtle but fatal sabotage before leaving Serenity that morning. Which seemed to fit in riotously with the rest of her treachery.
Luckily, thanks to Inara putting aside her differences to collude with us, Yo-Saff-Bridge didn’t get the chance to make off with the loot (bitch). Of course, that meant a few weeks of Inara’s taunting were in order… Most especially since she was the one to find me nekid. Let me tell you, her smugness is really quite embarrassing.
Now that it’s all over, I guess none of it matters too much… Life aboard the ship has pretty much returned to normal - well, except for Jayne that is. He’s been acting mighty strange lately, and I never could figure out what was going on in that puny brain of his. Just thinking about it gives me a headache.
All’s well that ends well (even if the whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth). We did get the loot, beat a few bad guys, and got to do some right honest thieving in the process. Hopefully this closes the chapter on Saffron once and for all, and I never have to look upon that red-haired vixen again.