Comments | bialogue: [Feministing] Holding My Boyfriend's Hand: On Becoming Invisible Again

bialogue

[Feministing] Holding My Boyfriend's Hand: On Becoming Invisible Again

Apr 24, 2010 02:44

( I hate being invisible again, and I hate being in a world that defines my sexuality by the person whose hand I am holding )

bisexual erasure, coming out, community, articles pro-bi, essay

Comments 8

orbitaldiamonds April 29 2010, 01:02:28 UTC

True that, essay writer! I'm so tired of people assuming I'm straight because I'm married to a man. No, he's the straight one! (I would have just cohabited, but he's military and I can only move around with him on Uncle Sam's dime with a marriage license.)

azetburcaptain December 17 2010, 08:05:59 UTC

The link to the full essay appears to be missing. I wanted to share this article, any other way to find it?

azetburcaptain December 17 2010, 08:12:39 UTC

Never mind, I found it! Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to me.

bialogue December 19 2010, 19:41:50 UTC

they must have moved it after a while (sigh), I'll also update the link to its new position when I have a moment

9carrie9 February 10 2011, 17:22:15 UTC

I've been in a relationship with a straight man for four years. so it hasn't been since my early teens i've had female lovers but i find where i am I'm not assumed straight. I have all gay friends and they know me and so its cool. I know by strangers i get seen as straight when out with my partner but if i was with a chick I'd be assumed gay. so its never right but I'm not going to downplay by love for my partner in public to get lesbo stats. I'm not that femm. i am with my partner but can be very androgynous this helps a little but you never really know what people are thinking so it doesn't matter. if you feel isolated from your identity why not join an LGBT group.?

shyboots March 29 2011, 23:12:23 UTC

Yep I feel this way. Bah. It sucks. And about joining LGBT group - depends if you have anything good in your area.

bialogue March 29 2011, 23:39:17 UTC

If there is no good bisexual or at least LGBT group in your area the two suggestions are to either round up some friends and start one ourself or until then join regional/national or international ones online.

shyboots March 30 2011, 10:45:11 UTC

Thanks - I should try something. I tried a local bi group but it was really awful...think sitting in a circle taking turns to talk about how tortured we are about our identity...and then slagging pansexual/omnisexual identities as people who are bisexual but not wanting the label *sigh* because that's what we really need, to all turn on each other *roll eyes*. And then let's go to a sex party (no thanks). But I know I'm not the only one not happy with that so we should start a splinter group. Well, me and the one person.