I woke about a week ago, and told the darkness I was afraid of it. Not a declaration of courage, but admitting fear, cold blind overwhelming fear
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So, that's my journal. an experiment, my chautauqua like Pirsig. But, to update on my non-chautaqua, or my non-specific one that i call life, um, I'm doing okay. I've attended all my classes since I registered. I registered a day late for the start of term. So, the near perfect attendance is something new and a source of pride of me. Likewise, I've got A's in all my classes, both on paper and how i've been learning. (so far) Amber and I are doing well. We had a fight earlier today, but we are usually get at not letting them fester. So, I'm proud of my life, feeling awkward, and constantly trying to figure what I do next, so I guess I could say I'm being constantly challenged, and feel the need to change for the better and better adapted in every second. I'm living. And, right now, I'm very happy. I'm going to take a nap.
I can't stand fears! I wish we didn't have them! I wish the world could be the way God wanted it to be from the start.... I wish there was no darkness, insanity, rape, murder, fear, abuse, dread, etc..... but we're stuck with them.... but we don't have to fight these battles alone.... I believe God sent his own son to fight the battle and win for us so that we don't have to fight them... because we can't truly win.... our conversations tonight were good... and I hope they leave some sort of impact on both of us and teach us something good.... but for some reason I feel really really strange about something.... like something isn't right.... and I can't figure out what it is.... but hopefully I'll be fine tomorrow.... I'll see you in Ballroom :)
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