Gotta think. I can't believe I had sex. Okay, bombs. Already dead guys with bombs.

[xandtheman3]

"This is... so not my house." Xander Harris stands on a sidewalk in Chicago with an axe in his hand and talks to himself. "It's not Sunnydale either. There are too many... buildings and not enough creatures of the night trying to kill me."

The axe is a souvenir from earlier that night. The night where he proved to himself, at least, that he's more

Comments

[archangelet]

There's a nearly six-foot-tall blonde girl standing behind Xander with her arms crossed and a dubiously amused expression on her face. Clearly Tay is not taken in by the lumberjack story. It probably helps that she saw him appear out of nowhere. First she wanted to make sure he wasn't going to start chopping people up, now...

Well, she's just sort of amused, to be honest.

"Yeah, a lumberjack convention. I'm buying that one."

[xandtheman3]

Xander whirls around keeping a handle on the axe so it doesn't go swinging about willy-nilly though he hadn't expected a voice to come from behind him so his face is the epitome of an Oh God, what is happening expression. Pretty, tall girl behind him. When did that happen? He should pay more attention.

"C'mon! I am completely the burly, wilderness-type. I may look like a city-boy, but that's how I sneak up on... the trees." Xander brings one hand up to his side in the universal you got me expression as if it is so difficult. "No one has to buy it. Just... borrow it long enough to not think I'm an axe-murderer. Give me a break, it was the best I could come up with on... short notice. I'm normally much more clever and witty with my excuses for toting an axe over my shoulder."

[archangelet]

"Well, if it weren't a fire axe, you could say you were on your way to a costume party or something," Tay points out. "Y'know, your warrior costume is at home, this is just the final prop." She pauses. "Though I guess firemen have axes, too. Whatever, battleaxes are cooler."

This guy is very much not scary. She's just afraid he's going to end up slicing himself open. "So, since you're clearly not trained to use that thing in any situation, why don't you hand it over so you don't accidentally chop your foot off or something?"

[xandtheman3]

"I didn't exactly have time to think up a whole, elaborate scenario before it all blurted out of my mouth, but I'll remember that. For the future. It's not bad."

Xander keeps his grip on the axe when she asks for it.

"Hey. I did some serious damage with this thing earlier and none of my limbs were damaged, thank you very much. It's a souvenir of a very important night for me, and I'm not all about the giving of weapons to strangers thing. It rides up there with the taking candy from strangers. A whole lotta no." He raises an eyebrow at her. "No offense to you. You seem perfectly nice and all, but there's no way to tell whether the next pretty girl off the street will rip out your heart and eat it for breakfast or not. ...and I mean that literally."

[callyourselfa]

"Lad, I'd say you look about as much like a lumberjack as my left pinion feathers look like the King," comes a voice from above. If Xander looks into the trees - no, not that one, Xander. A bit to your left, if you'd just turn around, and there we are - he may see a magpie.

This magpie is looking at him like he's the best joke ever.

"You," One For Sorrow says, "fell through a crack. Ended up in a new world. Full of magic and mystery and natives who want to kill you. Good axe, though; at least you came prepared."

[xandtheman3]

At first, Xander thinks it's God talking to him. He has never believed in God, but when a voice speaks from the heavens (eg the sky) assumptions are made. But no. Somehow God would have made so much more sense. You fought brilliantly today, Xander, welcome to Heaven. It's a dark, dank city. Enjoy. It's not God. It's a bird unless God is a bird. Focus.

He stares at the bird. The talking bird. In the tree.

Xander Harris walked into his house to end up on a sidewalk in an unknown city and be talked to by a bird. This has officially exceeded any crazy that Sunydale has ever smacked him in the face with before. Ever.

"You're a... bird. A talking bird." Further establishment of the obvious is apparently necessary.

[callyourselfa]

Even on a bird, the "Well DUH" look is pretty universal.

"Oh, well done, boy! Correct. I am a bird. The fine European magpie, Corvidae Pica pica, and I am talking." He takes a moment, preening one of his chestfeathers back into place. "Mind, where I was from, you'd have got points for understanding what I said, but here? You'll have to do better."

He hops to another branch.

"Now. You're Xander Harris, wanderer and just-graduated zeppo and doughnut boy..." He's got no idea what a zeppo is, but then, he should have no idea who any of these people he recognizes are. Oh, the wonders of Rift powers. "And I am One For Sorrow. Bird, as we've established, and loyal retainer of the Majicou, who isn't here. You've fallen into another world, as I think I said. A world with at least one talking bird. That would be me."

He clicks his beak.

"Like me to repeat any of that?"

[xandtheman3]

"Okay, okay, I didn't need the lecture, bird." Xander would have guessed crow or raven (about the extent of his bird knowledge) if he'd been asked to specify type so it's a good thing that he wasn't. "Excuse me for falling through a crack and being disoriented. Where I'm from animals don't say words."

The bird has generated more staring from Xander. He's almost starting to believe that it is God in the shape of the bird, because how else could a bird know all of that about him?

"How do you know all that about me? And how do I get back to my own world, cause I kind of have... stuff to deal with. Back there. Friends and stuff. High school. A woman scorned to prove wrong. That sort of thing."

[redmoons_best]

Who was this boy trying to fool

[xandtheman3]

Xander scream-yells at the feeling of something pointy against the back of his neck. It's the 'manly' version of a scream that he's so famous for. They always go for the neck first, don't they?

"T- There were some zombies earlier that weren't exactly happy about my way with an axe!" He tightens his grip on to the axe, knowing that she could shove the point into his neck before he would even have a chance to swing it at her. His experience tonight has filled him with a renewed sense of self confidence that he's never had before. "Look I've been through way too much tonight to die now so if you could please take the sharp away from my neck and tell me where I am. I'd really appreciate it."

He closes his eyes tightly, waiting for her to just kill him. This is the night that never ends apparently.

[redmoons_best]

Mother Night, ow! The scream was not only unexpected, but louder than expected, resulting in the woman backing off just a little. This was supposed to have encouraged survival instincts, not the screamer kind

[xandtheman3]

Xander visibly relaxes when she steps away. He turns around keeping his grip on the axe tight.

"Well, you see zombies are people who have died, and then crawl out of the grave to-" He stops talking when he turns all the way around and actually looks at her.

There is a hot, sexy woman-ish individual leaning against the wall... laughing at him. The effect of the sight of her standing there is his jaw dropping. Right. Today has been full of the normal.

"2009? No. No. No, that's not even- I just skipped- I'm from 1999 that's 10 years difference. How could that happen? I have to get back to my time, because I have friends. And a very, hot ex-girlfriend to prove wrong. And you're... not... human, are you?"