Oh. My god. Jessie. You've got this drabble thing down cold. It's sweet, it's friendly, but at the same time it's so, so painful. I really loved this line: "Sasuke jerked his shoulder to remove the annoyance, but only the hand left." It's such a lovely 'personification' of the emotion; a truly poetic way of putting something everyone has felt but very few can describe as succinctly and entirely.
I like the way you work in the familiar banter between Sasuke and Naruto; it puts readers in a kind of warm place. Which, of course, is gradually upended, as the reader questions why Sakura seems so upset. The final line was pitch-perfect--the image and implication just settle on you and--makes you want to cry a little, but also makes you want to smile. And in the end, that's exactly what the whole of Team 7 feels like to me.
There are things that can't be undone. But they pick the pieces up and plunge forward as best they can.
Oh my god, Kalliel. This feedback might just be longer than the drabble itself. Thank you. ♥ I'm glad you of all people liked it, since I consider you somewhat of an authority on fan fiction.
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I like the way you work in the familiar banter between Sasuke and Naruto; it puts readers in a kind of warm place. Which, of course, is gradually upended, as the reader questions why Sakura seems so upset. The final line was pitch-perfect--the image and implication just settle on you and--makes you want to cry a little, but also makes you want to smile. And in the end, that's exactly what the whole of Team 7 feels like to me.
There are things that can't be undone. But they pick the pieces up and plunge forward as best they can.
This is a really beautiful snapshot. <33
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