After the Parting 8/11
Yes, it's gone and morphed on me again! *facepalms* Chapter 10 is almost finished and I know I need another long scene...
Story: After the Parting
Author: WMR
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack
Rating: PG
Summary: The Doctor and Rose are back together. Jack has a new job. But what happens when the Doctor finds out about Torchwood? A story in the same universe as the Earth to Ashes series.
With thanks to my lovely and much-valued BRs,
dark_aegis and
nnwest
Chapter 1: Betrayal
Chapter 2: Confrontation
Chapter 3: Interfering
Chapter 4: Divided Loyalties
Chapter 5: Persuasion
Chapter 6: Thaw
Chapter 7: Honesty
Chapter 8: Revelations
He releases a long breath. Then brings his hand up to cover Jack’s briefly.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
Jack just watches him. Doesn’t move, leaves his hand exactly where it is. Waits.
“I let you down,” he says. “You kept your side of the bargain. You gave your life to delay the Daleks. And I couldn’t do what we’d agreed I would.”
After a moment, Jack says, “They would have killed you.”
He nods. “They were going to. The Emperor just wanted to savour his victory first. He wanted to make quite sure that I knew I’d lost. And then Rose came back.”
He’s conscious of Rose, standing close to him, her face pale, still shocked at his revelation of what she did. He holds out his hand towards her. She takes it, and he draws her nearer.
She comes to stand beside them. Catches his gaze, and then deliberately reaches out for Jack with her free hand.
He can take a hint. And she’s right. He reaches for Jack, wrapping his arm around the other man’s shoulders and drawing him closer. Taking both of them into his arms for a hug.
A long-overdue hug.
He’s relieved to notice that Jack doesn’t even hesitate.
*******
She killed the Daleks.
Well, he could have bloody well told her!
All that nonsense about singing a song and making the Daleks run away!
She remembers trying to open up the TARDIS console. Trying to get at the heart of the TARDIS. But, other than what she remembered seeing happen to Margaret Slitheen, she’d had no idea what it would do to her. She does remember, though, thinking that it’s possible that it could kill her.
And deciding that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was saving the Doctor. Her Doctor.
“So I did save you,” she says suddenly, tilting her head to look up at him.
His face is very close to hers. “You did, Rose. You saved me, and you saved what was left of Earth. And then Jack went and finished the job. But you ended the Time War.”
She did it. She, Rose Tyler, an unemployed shop assistant from the twenty-first century, saved the universe from destruction. That’s amazing.
She’s reminded of her awed, disbelieving comment about a servant girl from 1869 who saved the world from an alien invasion. How patronising, how naïve she was then. Now, she understands that heroes come in many guises. And the most insignificant person can play a major part in saving the world.
“I’m like Gwyneth,” she murmurs, and the Doctor shoots her a look. “’Cept she died, an’ I didn’t.”
There’s something in the Doctor’s gaze as he looks at her, but he says nothing.
“What?” she asks. But he shakes his head.
“The Time Vortex,” Jack says. His voice is very close to her, too, but then they’re all still holding each other, though loosely now. “That’s what turned the Slitheen back into an egg, right?”
“Right.” The Doctor nods.
“So how come it didn’t harm Rose?”
She frowns. “Yeah. How come, Doctor?”
And his mouth turns down at the corners. His soft brown eyes gaze into hers. “I wasn’t going to tell you,” he says quietly. “It would have killed you. But I took it from you.”
That makes her frown. He took it... “Then why didn’t it - ” She breaks off abruptly as realisation dawns. “That’s why you died.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jack’s expression. He’s already put it together, too.
The Doctor nods. “Yes.”
That’s... She has to catch her breath. He died for her?
Oh, god... So that’s why. That’s why the previous him died. That’s why he was standing there, in pain, babbling about nonsense instead of telling her what was happening to him. That’s why he vanished and this new body took his place.
New body. Still the Doctor. She knows that now.
But it was all her fault.
“You shouldn’t’ve done it, Doctor.” Her voice breaks as she speaks, and she tries to compose herself. “I’m not worth it.”
And his arm around her tightens. Then he’s released Jack and both arms are around her, and he’s holding her pressed against him, his face buried in her hair. “Don’t ever say that, Rose Tyler. You are worth it. I swear to you, you are worth it.”
There’s a hand on her shoulder. Jack. “I’m glad he did it, Rose. Like I told you, you’re worth fighting for.”
“I killed you, Doctor.” And this time her voice does break.
A hand tilts her chin up, and concerned brown eyes are gazing into hers. They look blurry. “Hey, I thought you said you like the new me.”
“I do!” she protests. “That’s... that’s not the point. I killed you.”
“It was my choice,” he says, and his voice is firm. Insistent. But then his head dips and his lips brush hers.
Another pair of lips brushes the back of her head. “Hey, I look at it this way,” Jack says. “He dies, he gets to come back. You die, we both lose you. No-brainer, from where I’m standing.”
“From where I’m standing, too,” the Doctor says. He releases her and steps back. “So no more of that, Rose. You hear me?”
She nods. Accepts that the Doctor made his own choice. And she would have willingly died to save the Doctor. She can’t complain that he did the same for her.
“Thanks for the explanation, Doctor. You’ve no idea how often I’ve wondered how it is I’m alive.” Jack turns her to face him. “And thank you for giving me back my life, Rose.” He cups her face between his palms, as he did once before, and kisses her tenderly.
As he releases her, she shakes her head. “But I don’ even remember doing it. Doesn’t that mean it wasn’t me? Was the TARDIS instead?”
“No.” The Doctor, hands in his pockets again, is giving her a steady look. “It was you, all right, Rose. You had the power of the TARDIS, but you only did what you wanted to do. What Rose Tyler would have done. You wanted to save me from the Daleks. You wanted to destroy the Daleks. You also wanted Jack alive. And that’s what you did. That, and no more. And - ” He changes focus, and the power of that gaze is all directed at Jack.
“I was glad,” he adds. His tone is fierce, insistent. “What you did, Rose - reversing death - no-one should have that power. It’s too dangerous. Too easily misused. But I was glad you gave Jack back his life. Even if your destiny hadn’t been waiting for you, Jack, I’d still have been glad.”
One less death on his conscience? But there has to be more to it than that. She knows how he cared about Jack, before. How the two of them were special to him. She still is. He can’t have changed that much where Jack’s concerned.
“Glad to hear it, Doctor.” There’s wry humour in Jack’s tone.
“You have to know that, surely.” The Doctor frowns at him. “Or have I really been such an idiot tonight? Don’t answer that,” he continues, and pulls a face. “I know I have. You were my friend. I hope you can be again. Of course I was glad. And relieved.”
There’s a pause, and it’s almost electric. She finds herself looking from one of them to the other, seeing the open, hopeful look on the Doctor’s face, the slightly wary one on Jack’s. And then, suddenly, Jack moves. Extends his hand.
“Yeah. Sure.”
The Doctor begins to take his hand, but hesitates. And suddenly pulls Jack into a hug. Surprised, Jack yields.
And, finally, she can let out the breath she’s metaphorically been holding ever since she walked into the console room and saw Jack there and felt the hostility.
Everything’s okay. Everything’s going to get back to the way it was before. The two people she loves are friends again. And Jack will come back to the TARDIS, as he was intended to. As it should be.
Then the Doctor’s released Jack and is addressing her again. His ability to focus on dozens of things at once always amazed her, so she shouldn’t be surprised now when he returns to what he was talking about a mere few minutes ago. Yet it takes her a second or two to refocus.
“The power you had within you at that moment, Rose, would have allowed you to do much, much more than bring one person back to life - and you knew it. You told me what you could see and what you could do. But you didn’t do anything else. Just what was right in your mind.”
Incredible to think that she’d been that powerful. In those few minutes, or however long it had been, the most powerful being in the universe, with the ability to affect life and death. “So... I could’ve saved everyone who died on the satellite? What about everyone the Daleks killed on Earth?” Why hadn’t she done that?
“You could have,” the Doctor agrees. “The Time Vortex gave you that power. And I didn’t even know it contained that kind of power, by the way. Remember I said, when Blon looked into it, that I didn’t know what it was capable of? Yes, you could have restored the Earth. But you didn’t, because you knew you shouldn’t. History shouldn’t be mucked about with too much.” And he grins faintly at that. As well he should; there’s no greater mucker about with history than him.
“But was it history? It’d only just happened.” She still has trouble sometimes getting her head around this time paradox thing.
He inclines his head. “Yes, it was history. That was the Apocalypse I knew of from the history books. Jack’s destiny. History doesn’t record how it happened - which makes sense because you wiped the Daleks from existence - but it records the fact of it. And that is why - ” He turns to Jack again, sobering. “ - I had to leave you. Couldn’t even tell you why. Apart from the fact that I knew I was going to regenerate and I needed to get Rose into the TARDIS and into flight before it happened, what could I have told you?”
She glances at Jack. It makes sense to her now why the Doctor left him behind, but it’s been so long for him. And he felt so betrayed by it...
But he nods. “Yeah. I understand. There’s nothing you could’ve told me. Even hinting could’ve risked undoing what you knew was history.”
The Doctor looks relieved. “And I always meant to get you back. We could’ve gone to get you the instant we left London after Christmas.” He gives Rose a quick smile. “But Rose was still getting used to the new me. I know you’d accepted me by then,” he adds. “But you were still finding it strange. I wanted to give you time to come to terms with me as I am now. And then I was going to find Jack.”
“But you discovered I worked for Torchwood,” Jack supplies.
“Yes.”
********
So it still all comes back to that. Despite the Doctor’s gesture, the renewal of their friendship, he’s still considered suspect, because of what he does now - has done for the past few months. A job he didn’t even choose. A position he was forced into.
But he won’t use that as an excuse. After all, he’s surprised himself by finding he actually enjoys the work.
“Torchwood’s not what you think, Doctor. You seem to have this idea that it’s some kind of anti-alien hit squad. I might not have wanted the job to begin with, but I know we do good work. Useful work.”
He deliberately associates himself with the agency. Not just because the buck stops with him - which is why he refused to rely on excuses over firing the weapon; refused to fall back on the fact that he hadn’t known the enemy was retreating. But also because he wants the Doctor to see that he believes in what Torchwood does.
To his surprise, the Doctor nods. “Yeah, I’m starting to realise that. But it still has dangerous, powerful weapons at its disposal. Weapons the Earth shouldn’t’ve had for at least a couple of centuries. History’s changed here, too.”
“Because I came to this time?” Again, causality. One little change causes many ripples. Is this his fault? Should he have resisted the urge to find his former companions again? Should he simply have learned to put the past behind him?
The Doctor looks thoughtful. “I don’t know. Perhaps. Torchwood - or anyone else in this time - certainly wouldn’t have known what to do with the energy weapon if not for you.”
Yes. His fault. So nothing’s changed here. He’s still the villain of the piece, isn’t he?
“But that might not be a bad thing,” the Doctor continues, to his surprise. “Believe it or not, Jack, I’ve been listening to what you’re saying. Yes, I’m not around all the time. The Earth needs defences. The Sycorax weren’t supposed to be here in this time either. The Earth’s history is being rewritten all around us. And, despite what Rose said about wiping yourself out of history if the attitude of those in charge of this planet is to attack too quickly, the same could just as easily happen if the Earth can’t defend itself.”
That’s quite an about-face. The Doctor admitting that Earth having that kind of weaponry isn’t a bad thing?
“The trouble is,” the Time Lord continues, his tone thoughtful, “that this gives some people a lot of power. And if they can’t handle that power responsibly...”
Back to Harriet Jones and her decision. Jack sighs. Whether or not he’d have done the same thing in the Prime Minister’s position, he recognises it as an incredibly difficult decision, made out of trying to act in the best interests of the planet and its people - and one that Harriet Jones has never stopped questioning ever since.
But it’s not his business to tell the Doctor that.
He’s speaking again, and now his tone is sad. “Which is why I’m also realising that you have to stay here, Jack. Torchwood can be a force for good. But it needs someone influential, someone who knows what they’re talking about, in charge. Someone who can stand up to pressure from trigger-happy politicians.”
“No, Doctor!” That’s Rose. “You can’t jus’ leave him here! Not now we’ve found him! Not now you’ve sorted all that stuff out between you.”
The Doctor reaches for her hand and looks down at her, his expression apologetic. “It’s necessary, Rose. You have to see that. And perhaps, too, this is also part of Jack’s destiny, just as Earth of the future was.”
So the invitation to rejoin them is rescinded.
Well, he hadn’t really taken it seriously, anyway. To start with, it’d been made in the context of giving him an order. An order he’d resented the hell out of, not only because the Doctor had no right to give him orders, but also because of what it was. And the invitation had also rankled, because he’d been abandoned. They’d just walked away and left him.
Okay, he now knows the Doctor had intended for him to rejoin them. And that’s nice to know.
But he’s moved on. Things have changed. Eighteen months is a long time, especially when compared to the two months he’d spent as part of the TARDIS crew.
Would he have accepted the invitation to return?
Probably not. Though he might have called on a favour instead - a trip back to the future, back to time-travel and decent technology. After all, his reasons for coming to twenty-first century Britain no longer hold.
Though it looks like the Doctor wouldn’t be willing to grant that, either. He wants him here, in charge of Torchwood, acting as Harriet Jones’ conscience and guarding against the annihilation of species.
Oh, well. There are worse destinies in life.
Even if the withdrawal of the invitation to rejoin them hurts far more than he’s even willing to admit to himself.
Que sera, sera. Life’s a bitch. But you suck it up and learn to live with it. He’s moved on before; he’ll do it again. He already had moved on, or so he’d thought. He just hadn’t expected a huge part of his past to turn up right on his doorstep.
He’ll survive this, as he’s survived every other setback life’s given him.
Though, before he goes, he has try once more to make the Doctor see past his blind spot. “Harriet Jones isn’t trigger-happy. Don’t judge her just by the Sycorax.”
“Well, that was the second time she ordered the execution of alien invaders...” But the Doctor is smiling, seeming amused this time. At his puzzled look, the Doctor explains. “Remember we told you about the first time we encountered the Slitheen?”
He does. An attempt to turn the Earth into a molten slag-heap. The Doctor had to get Mickey to launch a missile on Downing Street to kill them.
“I knew what needed to be done. But it was risky. Rose... the three of us could have died.”
He didn’t miss the slip there. The Doctor had been willing to risk his own life, and probably that of Harriet Jones. But Rose’s presence had obviously made it far more difficult a choice.
“I didn’t get to make the choice,” he continues. “Harriet told me that as the only elected representative in the room she was ordering me to do it.”
Ah. Yes, definitely a familiar scenario.
“You know,” he says thoughtfully, “I get the distinct impression that you used to be something of a heroic figure to her. I’d heard through the grapevine that she talks about how you saved her life and saved the world from an alien invasion that no-one else even believes happened. But now... well, after the Sycorax that all changed.”
“What? Hates me now, does she?” The Doctor pulls a face. “Even though she’s seen me save her - and her planet - twice from alien invasion?”
Jack hesitates. That’s not really how he’d describe the emotions he’d read on the one occasion the Doctor had been mentioned in conversation with Harriet Jones. “I don’t think she hates you. I think she’s afraid of you.”
*******
Afraid of him?
Well, she isn’t the first, and she won’t be the last.
He is feared across the universe, across Time.
But, even despite his anger, despite his conviction that she did wrong, he is not sure that he entirely wants her to be afraid of him. Even if it might mean that she’d be wary of incurring his wrath a second time.
Though that’s probably wishful thinking. She’s probably put all kinds of alerts in place to ensure that he can get nowhere near her again. So that he can’t interfere in any way.
Actually, come to think of it, Jack probably knows about whatever preventative measures she’s no doubt taken. But he won’t ask Jack to betray a confidence. He’s done enough harm there for one night.
Especially, too, as he accepts now that he has to leave Jack back there, running Torchwood. Jack won’t be able to do his job if anyone suspects that his loyalties are divided.
“Harriet’s afraid of me,” he murmurs, testing the idea.
“She admired you, Doctor. She wanted you to admire her, too - and then you turned on her,” Rose says. “Don’t get me wrong, I know why you did it and I’d have done it too, but I know how it feels to... to know I’ve let you down.”
He looks at her for a long moment, then holds out his hand to her, gripping her fingers tightly, reassuringly.
Yes, Rose did let him down - once. Twice, if he counts her loss of faith in him during his regeneration sickness, but he doesn’t include that. Her reaction was completely natural and entirely understandable. And he’d never hold that against her. Just as he forgave her long since for causing a paradox and letting in the Reapers.
How many times has he let her down?
Is this the kind of man he is? Holding others to impossible standards, standards he routinely fails to meet himself?
“Y’know, Doctor, when the Sycorax leader was going to kill me - just before you came out - she tried to stop him. She could’ve got killed, jus’ cause she was trying to defend me.”
He hadn’t known that. But, actually, it doesn’t surprise him. Again, very reminiscent of his first encounter with Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.
He holds up his hands. “All right, all right. I give in. You’ve both convinced me.”
“Convinced you of what?” Jack asks.
“That I might’ve been just a bit hasty in condemning her. I still disagree with what she did, mind,” he adds immediately.
Jack shrugs. “I never said you weren’t entitled to disagree. But there’s a difference between disagreeing and throwing labels like murderer around.” He smiles, taking the sting out of his words. But the point hits home, all the same. And he nods, silently telling Jack that he accepts the reproof.
“There’s got to be a different way. Something that doesn’t involve killin’ people without even givin’ ‘em a chance but that keeps us safe.” Rose, pulling a face, moves to perch on the table. “Cause you’re not always here, Doctor. You can’t always be here.”
She’s right, of course. And perhaps, if he’d reacted less aggressively to the Prime Minister’s action, something of the kind could already be under way.
Though he’s forgetting. It probably already is, thanks to Jack.
“Y’know, Doctor, didn’t you once say somethin’ about first contact bein’ when the human race grows up? An’ that you wouldn’t interfere cause we have to handle it ourselves?”
He did. One of the many arrogant little comments he’s made throughout his life. Sweeping statements meant to show how experienced and knowledgeable he is. Statements he then contradicts.
But Rose is making a point here, and she’s wrong. Well, sort of. Because he did contradict himself, but there was a good reason for it.
“I did interfere, as I remember,” he points out. “You lot would’ve all been wiped out if I hadn’t.”
“Yeah, cause they turned out to be hostile,” Rose acknowledges. “But we - humans, the Earth - have to make our own mistakes. Don’t we? Can’t always rely on you to come in an’ solve it for us. Yeah, we’ll get things wrong, but isn’t history full of that? People getting things wrong? I mean, the Holocaust or apartheid or slavery? You can’t fix everything in the universe, Doctor. An’ if you did, no-one would ever learn how to do things better.”
She’s making a lot of good points there. And he’s proud of her. He’s taught her well - but she’s been an excellent pupil.
But still... “So I should just do nothing when the next Harriet Jones blows up a spaceship?”
Rose shrugs. “Maybe you should. Or maybe people like her jus’ need some advice on how to handle it better.” She’s almost reading his mind here. “Or, y’know, maybe she actually did do the right thing. Maybe the Sycorax would’ve come back.”
And that’s quite a change in perspective for Rose. He still has to object, though, even though he understands her reasoning. “They could have been attacked then,” he points out. “It’s this pre-emptive strike thing that really bothers me. But maybe you’ve got a point. Maybe you both have,” he adds, glancing from Rose to Jack, who’s listening intently to this exchange. “Maybe there’s something I need to do.”
“What’s that?” Jack asks.
“Think I’ll pay Harriet a visit.”
*******
tbc
x-posted to
time_and_chips
Story: After the Parting
Author: WMR
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack
Rating: PG
Summary: The Doctor and Rose are back together. Jack has a new job. But what happens when the Doctor finds out about Torchwood? A story in the same universe as the Earth to Ashes series.
With thanks to my lovely and much-valued BRs,
dark_aegis and
nnwest
Chapter 1: Betrayal
Chapter 2: Confrontation
Chapter 3: Interfering
Chapter 4: Divided Loyalties
Chapter 5: Persuasion
Chapter 6: Thaw
Chapter 7: Honesty
Chapter 8: Revelations
He releases a long breath. Then brings his hand up to cover Jack’s briefly.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
Jack just watches him. Doesn’t move, leaves his hand exactly where it is. Waits.
“I let you down,” he says. “You kept your side of the bargain. You gave your life to delay the Daleks. And I couldn’t do what we’d agreed I would.”
After a moment, Jack says, “They would have killed you.”
He nods. “They were going to. The Emperor just wanted to savour his victory first. He wanted to make quite sure that I knew I’d lost. And then Rose came back.”
He’s conscious of Rose, standing close to him, her face pale, still shocked at his revelation of what she did. He holds out his hand towards her. She takes it, and he draws her nearer.
She comes to stand beside them. Catches his gaze, and then deliberately reaches out for Jack with her free hand.
He can take a hint. And she’s right. He reaches for Jack, wrapping his arm around the other man’s shoulders and drawing him closer. Taking both of them into his arms for a hug.
A long-overdue hug.
He’s relieved to notice that Jack doesn’t even hesitate.
*******
She killed the Daleks.
Well, he could have bloody well told her!
All that nonsense about singing a song and making the Daleks run away!
She remembers trying to open up the TARDIS console. Trying to get at the heart of the TARDIS. But, other than what she remembered seeing happen to Margaret Slitheen, she’d had no idea what it would do to her. She does remember, though, thinking that it’s possible that it could kill her.
And deciding that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was saving the Doctor. Her Doctor.
“So I did save you,” she says suddenly, tilting her head to look up at him.
His face is very close to hers. “You did, Rose. You saved me, and you saved what was left of Earth. And then Jack went and finished the job. But you ended the Time War.”
She did it. She, Rose Tyler, an unemployed shop assistant from the twenty-first century, saved the universe from destruction. That’s amazing.
She’s reminded of her awed, disbelieving comment about a servant girl from 1869 who saved the world from an alien invasion. How patronising, how naïve she was then. Now, she understands that heroes come in many guises. And the most insignificant person can play a major part in saving the world.
“I’m like Gwyneth,” she murmurs, and the Doctor shoots her a look. “’Cept she died, an’ I didn’t.”
There’s something in the Doctor’s gaze as he looks at her, but he says nothing.
“What?” she asks. But he shakes his head.
“The Time Vortex,” Jack says. His voice is very close to her, too, but then they’re all still holding each other, though loosely now. “That’s what turned the Slitheen back into an egg, right?”
“Right.” The Doctor nods.
“So how come it didn’t harm Rose?”
She frowns. “Yeah. How come, Doctor?”
And his mouth turns down at the corners. His soft brown eyes gaze into hers. “I wasn’t going to tell you,” he says quietly. “It would have killed you. But I took it from you.”
That makes her frown. He took it... “Then why didn’t it - ” She breaks off abruptly as realisation dawns. “That’s why you died.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jack’s expression. He’s already put it together, too.
The Doctor nods. “Yes.”
That’s... She has to catch her breath. He died for her?
Oh, god... So that’s why. That’s why the previous him died. That’s why he was standing there, in pain, babbling about nonsense instead of telling her what was happening to him. That’s why he vanished and this new body took his place.
New body. Still the Doctor. She knows that now.
But it was all her fault.
“You shouldn’t’ve done it, Doctor.” Her voice breaks as she speaks, and she tries to compose herself. “I’m not worth it.”
And his arm around her tightens. Then he’s released Jack and both arms are around her, and he’s holding her pressed against him, his face buried in her hair. “Don’t ever say that, Rose Tyler. You are worth it. I swear to you, you are worth it.”
There’s a hand on her shoulder. Jack. “I’m glad he did it, Rose. Like I told you, you’re worth fighting for.”
“I killed you, Doctor.” And this time her voice does break.
A hand tilts her chin up, and concerned brown eyes are gazing into hers. They look blurry. “Hey, I thought you said you like the new me.”
“I do!” she protests. “That’s... that’s not the point. I killed you.”
“It was my choice,” he says, and his voice is firm. Insistent. But then his head dips and his lips brush hers.
Another pair of lips brushes the back of her head. “Hey, I look at it this way,” Jack says. “He dies, he gets to come back. You die, we both lose you. No-brainer, from where I’m standing.”
“From where I’m standing, too,” the Doctor says. He releases her and steps back. “So no more of that, Rose. You hear me?”
She nods. Accepts that the Doctor made his own choice. And she would have willingly died to save the Doctor. She can’t complain that he did the same for her.
“Thanks for the explanation, Doctor. You’ve no idea how often I’ve wondered how it is I’m alive.” Jack turns her to face him. “And thank you for giving me back my life, Rose.” He cups her face between his palms, as he did once before, and kisses her tenderly.
As he releases her, she shakes her head. “But I don’ even remember doing it. Doesn’t that mean it wasn’t me? Was the TARDIS instead?”
“No.” The Doctor, hands in his pockets again, is giving her a steady look. “It was you, all right, Rose. You had the power of the TARDIS, but you only did what you wanted to do. What Rose Tyler would have done. You wanted to save me from the Daleks. You wanted to destroy the Daleks. You also wanted Jack alive. And that’s what you did. That, and no more. And - ” He changes focus, and the power of that gaze is all directed at Jack.
“I was glad,” he adds. His tone is fierce, insistent. “What you did, Rose - reversing death - no-one should have that power. It’s too dangerous. Too easily misused. But I was glad you gave Jack back his life. Even if your destiny hadn’t been waiting for you, Jack, I’d still have been glad.”
One less death on his conscience? But there has to be more to it than that. She knows how he cared about Jack, before. How the two of them were special to him. She still is. He can’t have changed that much where Jack’s concerned.
“Glad to hear it, Doctor.” There’s wry humour in Jack’s tone.
“You have to know that, surely.” The Doctor frowns at him. “Or have I really been such an idiot tonight? Don’t answer that,” he continues, and pulls a face. “I know I have. You were my friend. I hope you can be again. Of course I was glad. And relieved.”
There’s a pause, and it’s almost electric. She finds herself looking from one of them to the other, seeing the open, hopeful look on the Doctor’s face, the slightly wary one on Jack’s. And then, suddenly, Jack moves. Extends his hand.
“Yeah. Sure.”
The Doctor begins to take his hand, but hesitates. And suddenly pulls Jack into a hug. Surprised, Jack yields.
And, finally, she can let out the breath she’s metaphorically been holding ever since she walked into the console room and saw Jack there and felt the hostility.
Everything’s okay. Everything’s going to get back to the way it was before. The two people she loves are friends again. And Jack will come back to the TARDIS, as he was intended to. As it should be.
Then the Doctor’s released Jack and is addressing her again. His ability to focus on dozens of things at once always amazed her, so she shouldn’t be surprised now when he returns to what he was talking about a mere few minutes ago. Yet it takes her a second or two to refocus.
“The power you had within you at that moment, Rose, would have allowed you to do much, much more than bring one person back to life - and you knew it. You told me what you could see and what you could do. But you didn’t do anything else. Just what was right in your mind.”
Incredible to think that she’d been that powerful. In those few minutes, or however long it had been, the most powerful being in the universe, with the ability to affect life and death. “So... I could’ve saved everyone who died on the satellite? What about everyone the Daleks killed on Earth?” Why hadn’t she done that?
“You could have,” the Doctor agrees. “The Time Vortex gave you that power. And I didn’t even know it contained that kind of power, by the way. Remember I said, when Blon looked into it, that I didn’t know what it was capable of? Yes, you could have restored the Earth. But you didn’t, because you knew you shouldn’t. History shouldn’t be mucked about with too much.” And he grins faintly at that. As well he should; there’s no greater mucker about with history than him.
“But was it history? It’d only just happened.” She still has trouble sometimes getting her head around this time paradox thing.
He inclines his head. “Yes, it was history. That was the Apocalypse I knew of from the history books. Jack’s destiny. History doesn’t record how it happened - which makes sense because you wiped the Daleks from existence - but it records the fact of it. And that is why - ” He turns to Jack again, sobering. “ - I had to leave you. Couldn’t even tell you why. Apart from the fact that I knew I was going to regenerate and I needed to get Rose into the TARDIS and into flight before it happened, what could I have told you?”
She glances at Jack. It makes sense to her now why the Doctor left him behind, but it’s been so long for him. And he felt so betrayed by it...
But he nods. “Yeah. I understand. There’s nothing you could’ve told me. Even hinting could’ve risked undoing what you knew was history.”
The Doctor looks relieved. “And I always meant to get you back. We could’ve gone to get you the instant we left London after Christmas.” He gives Rose a quick smile. “But Rose was still getting used to the new me. I know you’d accepted me by then,” he adds. “But you were still finding it strange. I wanted to give you time to come to terms with me as I am now. And then I was going to find Jack.”
“But you discovered I worked for Torchwood,” Jack supplies.
“Yes.”
********
So it still all comes back to that. Despite the Doctor’s gesture, the renewal of their friendship, he’s still considered suspect, because of what he does now - has done for the past few months. A job he didn’t even choose. A position he was forced into.
But he won’t use that as an excuse. After all, he’s surprised himself by finding he actually enjoys the work.
“Torchwood’s not what you think, Doctor. You seem to have this idea that it’s some kind of anti-alien hit squad. I might not have wanted the job to begin with, but I know we do good work. Useful work.”
He deliberately associates himself with the agency. Not just because the buck stops with him - which is why he refused to rely on excuses over firing the weapon; refused to fall back on the fact that he hadn’t known the enemy was retreating. But also because he wants the Doctor to see that he believes in what Torchwood does.
To his surprise, the Doctor nods. “Yeah, I’m starting to realise that. But it still has dangerous, powerful weapons at its disposal. Weapons the Earth shouldn’t’ve had for at least a couple of centuries. History’s changed here, too.”
“Because I came to this time?” Again, causality. One little change causes many ripples. Is this his fault? Should he have resisted the urge to find his former companions again? Should he simply have learned to put the past behind him?
The Doctor looks thoughtful. “I don’t know. Perhaps. Torchwood - or anyone else in this time - certainly wouldn’t have known what to do with the energy weapon if not for you.”
Yes. His fault. So nothing’s changed here. He’s still the villain of the piece, isn’t he?
“But that might not be a bad thing,” the Doctor continues, to his surprise. “Believe it or not, Jack, I’ve been listening to what you’re saying. Yes, I’m not around all the time. The Earth needs defences. The Sycorax weren’t supposed to be here in this time either. The Earth’s history is being rewritten all around us. And, despite what Rose said about wiping yourself out of history if the attitude of those in charge of this planet is to attack too quickly, the same could just as easily happen if the Earth can’t defend itself.”
That’s quite an about-face. The Doctor admitting that Earth having that kind of weaponry isn’t a bad thing?
“The trouble is,” the Time Lord continues, his tone thoughtful, “that this gives some people a lot of power. And if they can’t handle that power responsibly...”
Back to Harriet Jones and her decision. Jack sighs. Whether or not he’d have done the same thing in the Prime Minister’s position, he recognises it as an incredibly difficult decision, made out of trying to act in the best interests of the planet and its people - and one that Harriet Jones has never stopped questioning ever since.
But it’s not his business to tell the Doctor that.
He’s speaking again, and now his tone is sad. “Which is why I’m also realising that you have to stay here, Jack. Torchwood can be a force for good. But it needs someone influential, someone who knows what they’re talking about, in charge. Someone who can stand up to pressure from trigger-happy politicians.”
“No, Doctor!” That’s Rose. “You can’t jus’ leave him here! Not now we’ve found him! Not now you’ve sorted all that stuff out between you.”
The Doctor reaches for her hand and looks down at her, his expression apologetic. “It’s necessary, Rose. You have to see that. And perhaps, too, this is also part of Jack’s destiny, just as Earth of the future was.”
So the invitation to rejoin them is rescinded.
Well, he hadn’t really taken it seriously, anyway. To start with, it’d been made in the context of giving him an order. An order he’d resented the hell out of, not only because the Doctor had no right to give him orders, but also because of what it was. And the invitation had also rankled, because he’d been abandoned. They’d just walked away and left him.
Okay, he now knows the Doctor had intended for him to rejoin them. And that’s nice to know.
But he’s moved on. Things have changed. Eighteen months is a long time, especially when compared to the two months he’d spent as part of the TARDIS crew.
Would he have accepted the invitation to return?
Probably not. Though he might have called on a favour instead - a trip back to the future, back to time-travel and decent technology. After all, his reasons for coming to twenty-first century Britain no longer hold.
Though it looks like the Doctor wouldn’t be willing to grant that, either. He wants him here, in charge of Torchwood, acting as Harriet Jones’ conscience and guarding against the annihilation of species.
Oh, well. There are worse destinies in life.
Even if the withdrawal of the invitation to rejoin them hurts far more than he’s even willing to admit to himself.
Que sera, sera. Life’s a bitch. But you suck it up and learn to live with it. He’s moved on before; he’ll do it again. He already had moved on, or so he’d thought. He just hadn’t expected a huge part of his past to turn up right on his doorstep.
He’ll survive this, as he’s survived every other setback life’s given him.
Though, before he goes, he has try once more to make the Doctor see past his blind spot. “Harriet Jones isn’t trigger-happy. Don’t judge her just by the Sycorax.”
“Well, that was the second time she ordered the execution of alien invaders...” But the Doctor is smiling, seeming amused this time. At his puzzled look, the Doctor explains. “Remember we told you about the first time we encountered the Slitheen?”
He does. An attempt to turn the Earth into a molten slag-heap. The Doctor had to get Mickey to launch a missile on Downing Street to kill them.
“I knew what needed to be done. But it was risky. Rose... the three of us could have died.”
He didn’t miss the slip there. The Doctor had been willing to risk his own life, and probably that of Harriet Jones. But Rose’s presence had obviously made it far more difficult a choice.
“I didn’t get to make the choice,” he continues. “Harriet told me that as the only elected representative in the room she was ordering me to do it.”
Ah. Yes, definitely a familiar scenario.
“You know,” he says thoughtfully, “I get the distinct impression that you used to be something of a heroic figure to her. I’d heard through the grapevine that she talks about how you saved her life and saved the world from an alien invasion that no-one else even believes happened. But now... well, after the Sycorax that all changed.”
“What? Hates me now, does she?” The Doctor pulls a face. “Even though she’s seen me save her - and her planet - twice from alien invasion?”
Jack hesitates. That’s not really how he’d describe the emotions he’d read on the one occasion the Doctor had been mentioned in conversation with Harriet Jones. “I don’t think she hates you. I think she’s afraid of you.”
*******
Afraid of him?
Well, she isn’t the first, and she won’t be the last.
He is feared across the universe, across Time.
But, even despite his anger, despite his conviction that she did wrong, he is not sure that he entirely wants her to be afraid of him. Even if it might mean that she’d be wary of incurring his wrath a second time.
Though that’s probably wishful thinking. She’s probably put all kinds of alerts in place to ensure that he can get nowhere near her again. So that he can’t interfere in any way.
Actually, come to think of it, Jack probably knows about whatever preventative measures she’s no doubt taken. But he won’t ask Jack to betray a confidence. He’s done enough harm there for one night.
Especially, too, as he accepts now that he has to leave Jack back there, running Torchwood. Jack won’t be able to do his job if anyone suspects that his loyalties are divided.
“Harriet’s afraid of me,” he murmurs, testing the idea.
“She admired you, Doctor. She wanted you to admire her, too - and then you turned on her,” Rose says. “Don’t get me wrong, I know why you did it and I’d have done it too, but I know how it feels to... to know I’ve let you down.”
He looks at her for a long moment, then holds out his hand to her, gripping her fingers tightly, reassuringly.
Yes, Rose did let him down - once. Twice, if he counts her loss of faith in him during his regeneration sickness, but he doesn’t include that. Her reaction was completely natural and entirely understandable. And he’d never hold that against her. Just as he forgave her long since for causing a paradox and letting in the Reapers.
How many times has he let her down?
Is this the kind of man he is? Holding others to impossible standards, standards he routinely fails to meet himself?
“Y’know, Doctor, when the Sycorax leader was going to kill me - just before you came out - she tried to stop him. She could’ve got killed, jus’ cause she was trying to defend me.”
He hadn’t known that. But, actually, it doesn’t surprise him. Again, very reminiscent of his first encounter with Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.
He holds up his hands. “All right, all right. I give in. You’ve both convinced me.”
“Convinced you of what?” Jack asks.
“That I might’ve been just a bit hasty in condemning her. I still disagree with what she did, mind,” he adds immediately.
Jack shrugs. “I never said you weren’t entitled to disagree. But there’s a difference between disagreeing and throwing labels like murderer around.” He smiles, taking the sting out of his words. But the point hits home, all the same. And he nods, silently telling Jack that he accepts the reproof.
“There’s got to be a different way. Something that doesn’t involve killin’ people without even givin’ ‘em a chance but that keeps us safe.” Rose, pulling a face, moves to perch on the table. “Cause you’re not always here, Doctor. You can’t always be here.”
She’s right, of course. And perhaps, if he’d reacted less aggressively to the Prime Minister’s action, something of the kind could already be under way.
Though he’s forgetting. It probably already is, thanks to Jack.
“Y’know, Doctor, didn’t you once say somethin’ about first contact bein’ when the human race grows up? An’ that you wouldn’t interfere cause we have to handle it ourselves?”
He did. One of the many arrogant little comments he’s made throughout his life. Sweeping statements meant to show how experienced and knowledgeable he is. Statements he then contradicts.
But Rose is making a point here, and she’s wrong. Well, sort of. Because he did contradict himself, but there was a good reason for it.
“I did interfere, as I remember,” he points out. “You lot would’ve all been wiped out if I hadn’t.”
“Yeah, cause they turned out to be hostile,” Rose acknowledges. “But we - humans, the Earth - have to make our own mistakes. Don’t we? Can’t always rely on you to come in an’ solve it for us. Yeah, we’ll get things wrong, but isn’t history full of that? People getting things wrong? I mean, the Holocaust or apartheid or slavery? You can’t fix everything in the universe, Doctor. An’ if you did, no-one would ever learn how to do things better.”
She’s making a lot of good points there. And he’s proud of her. He’s taught her well - but she’s been an excellent pupil.
But still... “So I should just do nothing when the next Harriet Jones blows up a spaceship?”
Rose shrugs. “Maybe you should. Or maybe people like her jus’ need some advice on how to handle it better.” She’s almost reading his mind here. “Or, y’know, maybe she actually did do the right thing. Maybe the Sycorax would’ve come back.”
And that’s quite a change in perspective for Rose. He still has to object, though, even though he understands her reasoning. “They could have been attacked then,” he points out. “It’s this pre-emptive strike thing that really bothers me. But maybe you’ve got a point. Maybe you both have,” he adds, glancing from Rose to Jack, who’s listening intently to this exchange. “Maybe there’s something I need to do.”
“What’s that?” Jack asks.
“Think I’ll pay Harriet a visit.”
*******
tbc
x-posted to
time_and_chips