Pairing: kai/ofc
Rating: pg
Word Count: 2,670 words
Summay: Kia and Jongin are trainees together at SM and it's easy for Kia to fall in love with Jongin. That's easy. It's everything else that's hard.
Author's Note: I wrote this for my baby Kia's birthday. She's one of my best and oldest friends and so, while I doubt anyone else will read this, I really do hope she likes it.
There is nothing Kia likes more than being on stage. It’s electrifying; she feels her whole body come alive as she moves, graceful, sharp, poetic almost. She moves and knows everyone is watching her and that, while completely terrifying, brings her some level of peace and clarity that can’t be found anywhere else.
She never expected anything to come from it, at least not really. At least in terms of becoming famous. Obviously it’s something she wants, but Kia knows she needs to be realistic - that she can’t just live her life in this fantasy world.
It doesn’t stop her from trying out for SM Entertainment. It’s there that she meets Jongin - or Kai, his stage name. They bond over the similarities of their names, how close they are to being the same. Jongin is quick to point out their other similarities - their dark, shiny hair and their bright, wide smiles. Kia is quick to blush in response.
Unsurprisingly, the two grow close. It’s easy for them to as they stay up many late nights, practicing new dance moves, showing off to each other, trying to prove to the other that they’re the one with the most talent, drive, skill. (Kia would never admit it, but Jongin is much more talented and she knows that sometimes he just messes up to make Kia feel better.)
Kia doesn’t mind being second best, though, especially when it’s to Jongin. She is fine with that; she loves watching him grow, watching him improve almost magically, seemingly over night. His rapping improves, too, and Kia can tell how hard he works. Kia knows that there is no one more hard working than Kim Jongin.
It’s this fact that makes her fall in love with him. That and others, of course, but Kia feels drawn to his work ethic. She feels like it’s a silly thing to be attracted to - and maybe it is, she reasons, but what difference does that make? She feels it’s a good thing, really. Much better than being attracted to, say, someone for being a bad boy. That never ends well.
But things with Jongin could, she tells herself, if only she could manage to confess her feelings. She throws that idea away, though, quickly. She can’t tell her best friend she’s in love. There’s the whole possibility of ruining a friendship and then when Jongin comes one day to tell her he’ll be debuting soon, Kia knows that she’ll never have the chance to tell him. He won’t be able to date for years and even when he can, why would he want to date just some girl he used to dance with?
After this, Kia begins to see Jongin less and less. He spends his time working with his bandmates, all whom are really nice from what Kia can tell. But Kia can’t tell much - she feels like she’s watching Jongin’s life pass before her, like he’s a character on a TV show that she has no real connection to, no ability to confer with. She tells herself it’s better this way. It’s better, easier for her to get over him this way.
When EXO debuts, no one is happier than Kia (except, of course, the members themselves). No one is sadder than Kia either. Her and Jongin have barely been in contact for months and Kia almost feels like her doesn’t exist to her once best friend. But she tries to tell herself not to be sad, that she needs to be happy that her friend is going to live his dream.
Soon Kia has her own debut to worry about. It’s not going to happen for a few years, she’s told; they’ll wait for EXO to stabilize, for them to rise to popularity before introducing the new girl group. It’s Kia and three other girls, all of whom Kia feels are much more talented when it comes to singing and rapping. Kia is the main dancer and she knows she does it well. She can’t wait to grow closer to the girls and to eventually be able to debut, to show off her skills to the world. She’s been waiting for years and now - well, almost now - is finally her time to shine.
After their debut calms down, EXO finally has some free time and Kia sees Jongin around more often. She just sees him and then kind of slinks away. She wants to talk to him, but doesn’t know what to say to him anymore. She wants to at least congratulate him, tell him how great he’s been doing, how she’s watched every performance, seen every single dance movement he’s made. She just worries that sounds a bit creepy, stalkerish. So instead she hides whenever he’s around.
It’s during one of her slinking away from Jongin moments that she meets Joonmyeon. The leader has always fascinated Kia and when he smiles at her, she feels her heart shake. He’s beautiful, with perfectly styled hair and the best smile Kia has ever seen. She smiles back, apologizing for having bumped into him.
“It’s just fine,” he tells her, still smiling. “Are you one of the girls training for the new group?”
Kia nods. “I didn’t think you guys would know about that, considering how busy you all have been. I’m surprised you have time to pay attention to anyone else - especially you as a leader.”
“Nonsense! I’ve got to keep an eye on all my hubaes. What’s your name?”
“Kia,” she says with a bow. “It’s nice to meet you, Sunbae.”
Joonmyeon is still smiling as he says, “Kia! You’re Jongin’s friend, right?”
Kia finds herself nodding, although she’s not quite sure if they are friends. She’s surprised that Joonmyeon knows her name, though, and takes that as a good thing. The thought makes her smile.
“It was really nice talking to you, Kia-sshi. I hope we can run into each other again.” Joonmyeon smiles as he waves goodbye, which Kia responds to, waving her arm fast, the biggest grin on her face.
Forgetting that Jongin is around the corner, Kia makes her way towards the dance studio until she’s face to face with Jongin. He’s just stepping out, covered in sweat, but smiling wide. He’s with one of the other members - Sehun, she thinks - and they’re laughing at something one of them has said.
Kia turns around quickly, hoping that if she moves fast enough, quiet enough, Jongin will have no idea she’s there. She can come back in an hour or so and practice her dancing then. But Kia has no such luck and, even with her back turned and her almost out of the hallway, she hears Jongin call, “Kia-yah,” his voice shaky, almost hesitant.
It would be easy to pretend she never heard him and just keep walking, but she finds herself turning around instead, walking back towards Jongin, who is smiling, and also Sehun whose face is blank (something Kia remembers is quite a regular expression for the boy). Kia tries to smile, but she’s sure whatever expression is on her face looks strange, off, so she quickly replaces it with cool blankness.
“Hi,” Jongin says. Kia has missed his voice. She’s heard it tons, of course, whether in their songs or in interviews, but he sounds different here. He sounds like Kim Jongin, her best friend. She’s missed that sound more than words could even begin to express. She can’t help but smile now as she says her own hello back.
They just kind of stand there for a minute, staring at each other, smiling, until Sehun says, “I’m Sehun, by the way.” Kia looks at the other boy, feeling stupid for having completely forgotten he was there.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kia.”
“I know. Everyone knows who you are, Kia.”
“Shut up, Sehun-ah,” Jongin replies, his voice harsh as he elbows the other in the ribs. Sehun just laughs, though, and Kia is blushing, wanting nothing more than to completely hide her face from the two. Jongin smiles a shaky smile before turning to Sehun and saying, “Can you give us a minute?”
“Of course,” Sehun says with a grin. “It was so nice to meet you, Kia-sshi.” Sehun bows before he walks off. Kia wants to run off with Sehun, run away from Jongin and whatever awkwardness is about to ensue, but she stands her ground, firm.
“It’s really great to see you,” Jongin says a few seconds later. Kia looks up into his eyes, his dark, gorgeous eyes and she is lost so quickly in them. She doesn’t totally hear what he says next until she hears her name said again and again.
“Sorry,” she responses, “what was that?”
“I was, um, I just want to say that, um…” Jongin’s voice is messy, shaky. It sounds nothing like interview Jongin, nothing like EXO-K’s Kai. But Kia likes his voice, she likes how real he sounds right here next to her. She likes it a lot. Jongin looks down, rubbing the back of his neck as he continues: “I just wanted to say you’re looking really good. And, well, I’ve missed you. A lot.”
Kia doesn’t know what to say. She’s hoped that Jongin has missed her. She’s hoped that he cares about her still. She’s hoped all of this, but how was she supposed to know? To tell? It’s hard loving someone that isn’t there for you - Kia knows this well.
“I’ve missed you too,” she says a moment later with a smile. Jongin looks up with his own smile before saying, “Really?” to which Kia just laughs before nodding her head.
“Of course I’ve missed you, babo.” She reaches out to hit him lightly, playfully, but her hand is caught in the air and soon her fingers are laced with Jongin’s. She looks at him, his eyes are staring at her and Kia feels venerable, open, and she worries Jongin can see everything that’s inside of her - all of her secrets. Most of all she worries he can see how much she loves him.
But the longer Jongin holds onto her hand, the longer he stares at her, the sooner Kia realizes that maybe she’s not the only one who’s been feeling this way. Maybe this isn’t a one-sided love - but rather something mutual, between the two, something that is not just hers, but rather theirs. It makes Kia’s stomach quake.
“Let’s never stop talking again, okay?” Jongin’s voice is smooth, like velvet as the words wrap around Kia. They hold her tight as she smiles and nods and agrees - because there is nothing Kia wants more than to keep in contact with Jongin, no matter what their relationship may be. As long as there is something between them, Kia is content.
Jongin uses their locked hands to pull Kia closer until her body is pressed against Jongin’s. Letting go, Jongin uses his free arms to wrap around Kia and hold her, which Kia responses to by doing the same. It’s not like they haven’t hugged before - it’s not something new for Kia, but rather it’s the familiarity of it all that makes her heart race and her head shake. It feels like home.
It’s months and months later. While Kia and Jongin have not officially started dating - as Jongin’s contract forbids it and Kia’s soon will - they still find time to be alone, to hold hands, to show off new dance moves to each other. Kia was the first one to see him dance to Wolf, first to see him perform Growl. Kia is Jongin’s first many things - first love, being the main thing.
With her birthday coming up amidst their promotions, Jongin knows that he won’t be able to do much for her. Kia knows this, too, and doesn’t mind, telling him that a simple happy birthday will suffice. But Jongin wants to do more - he has to do more.
It’s a few days later, the Sunday after, when they have a bit of a lull in their schedule. Jongin’s promised Chanyeol ice cream for helping him out, along with promising to be Kyungsoo’s slave for a day. With the two beside him, Jongin makes his way to the dance room, knowing that’s where Kia will be. That’s where she always is.
And there she is. Jongin looks in and watches for a bit. He admires how much better she’s gotten, how fluid her movements have become, how strong and confident she looks. He likes to act as if he’s part of the reason why - like he’s taught her everything he knows. Really, though, he knows it’s more the other way around.
When they go inside, Kia’s face lights up as she sees them all. She runs and gives Jongin a hug and then apologizes for the sweat. Jongin just laughs it off. She says polite hellos to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, both of whom she doesn’t know very well.
“What are you guys doing here?” she asks. “Were you wanting to practice? Because, Chanyeol, it’s probably not gonna help you improve your dancing to practice in such tight fitting jeans.”
“Did your girlfriend just insult my dancing?” Chanyeol asks, scoffing.
“Well… she does have a point…” Kyungsoo comments only to have Chanyeol reach across and hit him.
“Hyungs, calm down!” Jongin calls, looking at Kia and mouthing “sorry.” Kia just smiles. “I just wanted to make up for not being around for your birthday. Kyungsoo helped me make some seaweed soup, which I know you’re supposed to have on your birthday and not days later, at eight at night…” Jongin smiles up sweetly, before rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes flashing down.
“And then, well, Chanyeol was gonna play guitar as I sing happy birthday. We both know my voice isn’t the best, but I hope you won’t hate it too much.” Jongin smiles, shaky, before looking over at Chanyeol, who is setting his guitar on his lap, before he starts to play.
And Jongin sings. Kia knows his voice isn’t he best. She knows that there are reasons Jongin isn’t lead vocal, but Kia doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that his voice sounds shaky or that his voice slightly cracks when it hits the high note. She doesn’t care. How can she care?
When he’s done, Jongin’s eyes don’t look up, they instead are glued on the ground below him, not wanting to see Kia’s reaction. It feels stupid that his best friend - this girl he loves and cares about so much - makes him as nervous as she does. He has no choice but to look up when Kia’s hand is on his chin, lifting his face up until he their eyes lock.
“Your voice is my favourite voice,” she tells him. “Thank you. There is nothing more I could ever wish for for my birthday.” Kia smiles wide and so Jongin - and Jongin wants to kiss her, to pull her close and hold her until the day he dies. But he doesn’t want to with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo around.
“Hey, could you guys give us a minute?” Jongin asks, turning towards his friends. Chanyeol nods, getting up, but Kyungsoo instead responses, “What for?”
“They gonna make-out, Kyungsoo-yah. Can’t you tell?” Chanyeol comments before pulling his friend along with him out the door. Kia is laughing, her body pressed so close to Jongin that he feels her laughter against his neck.
“So,” Kia asks once the two have left, “are we gonna make-out?”
Jongin laughs and says, “That was the plan.”
Kia just grins, leaning in, and whispers the words in Jongin’s ear: “I like this plan a lot.”
And the two make out, with lots of tongue, never knowing that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are standing outside of the room, looking in at the two. Not that Kia would have minded. The whole world could watch and she would be okay with it as long as she was with Jongin.
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