You know I have to read things in bites but the first bits are really very good. I might suggest shortening the main character's first name or giving them a nickname but it was really very good and made me want to read more.
An interesting start. It softens as you get more into it, but at the begining, there are lots of capitalized Words. I realize that some of these, like Old Blood, make sense in the context, but you might want to glance through it again and reduce some of it
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I could paint the portrait of the lands part of and surrounding the Old Kingdom. I'm not sure if I will be using that setting again, however. I think that I could place it into the part where his father is traveling. The guy tells the narrator about the verdant greens of the peaceful surrounding kingdoms. The placid and clear lakes, the sluggish rivers winding their way across fields of wildflowers and copses of trees. Maybe adding in the pristine beauty of the mountains that crop up sporadically about the landscape, as if sleeping giants had lain to rest millenia ago and never woke.
That's the type of stuff I'll put there if/when I decide to use the surrounding scenery. Otherwise I don't think that it would be too neccesary right yet seeing as he's right now learning from that book. I'll tell you right now that the book is more than just a book. One can prolly assume that just by the fact that it's words show an intelligence and ability to think and converse in it's own quiet way.
Again, good so far. You've got a tiger by the tail, though. You can throw it some meat by making an historical outline for yourself and your forebearers
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More later.
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Behindthename.com is really cool.
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I could paint the portrait of the lands part of and surrounding the Old Kingdom. I'm not sure if I will be using that setting again, however. I think that I could place it into the part where his father is traveling. The guy tells the narrator about the verdant greens of the peaceful surrounding kingdoms. The placid and clear lakes, the sluggish rivers winding their way across fields of wildflowers and copses of trees. Maybe adding in the pristine beauty of the mountains that crop up sporadically about the landscape, as if sleeping giants had lain to rest millenia ago and never woke.
That's the type of stuff I'll put there if/when I decide to use the surrounding scenery. Otherwise I don't think that it would be too neccesary right yet seeing as he's right now learning from that book. I'll tell you right now that the book is more than just a book. One can prolly assume that just by the fact that it's words show an intelligence and ability to think and converse in it's own quiet way.
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