Because He Was There
A/N : This was written as Kyuhyun's birthday fic. Yeah I am early LOL. BTW, do you want a sequel for this?
Sequel : Don't Wait, Fall Now
Epilogue : Falling Back to Places
---
“I wish that I know you earlier.”
The wind is blowing, ruffling his now a bit greyish hair. Wrinkles start to draw their permanent lines underneath his eyes and forehead in the most subtle way; thin linings that can be hidden by an average layer of cosmetic powder.
I am getting older
Cho Kyuhyun is over the thirty years of his age today. Precisely; he is a thirty-three year old man today. He is wearing a plain white shirt, with a black pair of jeans wrapping his long legs. The weather is pretty warm, that even though the wind is blowing, it doesn't help in cooling down the temperature.
In his left hand, a grip is safely secured, trying his best to show the owner of the hand that she is precious. A small head is leaning on his left shoulder, and a controlled sound of breathings is penetrating his eardrums.
“Watch what you’re wishing for, darling.”
He is dating a young girl, well; a girl younger than him. A gorgeous twenty-five year old girl, or lady with a pair of small lips and shining doe eyes.
Just like him
“I just want to know how were the young you when you were in the band. That’s all. Because you know, I was a fan of you after all.”
Kyuhyun laughs, not because of the lips that pouts in front of him, but because he remembers the memories that supposed to be put away from his mind. The memories of the twelve hyungs that were cruel to him, that were scared of him, that was fond of him and annoyed by him.
The band that started off with twelve members, and his account made them thirteen. The band that was a part of his life; where he met the strangest people he ever knew, yet there was the hyungs who treated him like he was a jewel.
And it was when he was in the band, that he started to realise that he can actually love someone so deeply, like there was nothing else inside his world except his loved one, even though it was only for a brief moment.
Because Lee Sungmin was there
***
“Yah~! You! Stop laughing!! What’s so funny about this??” everyone is looking at him, but he just can’t stop snickering. Sungmin looks so pink, so girly, and the scene that they have to record today seems to fit in place.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Aigoo~ what is wrong with me??” he palms his brows, and breathe. Shindong is staring at him, and Sungmin gives a sign with his hands, saying he just don't care anymore.
It is one of their earliest reality shows, ‘Mini Drama’, and the scene supposed to be like this: Kyuhyun is walking in their dorm’s living room, and Sungmin is carrying a mountain of futon or something, and they bumps into each other, having one of those you-know-how-lovers-fell in front of the door, and Shindong walks in.
It is a simple scene, knowing how they are in the dorm, with all the skinships (especially Siwon and Heechul, too bad it isn’t their turn) but Kyuhyun find that it is somehow a hard task to be done. And he is not feeling a bit imperilled when Sungmin smashes the futons on the floor and orders him to exchange the role with him (Sungmin is the bottom you know) that he laughs and apologises multiple times. He is nervous, this is his first acting experience (which it suck) and Sungmin is just too adorable to not to be play with.
Because he’s the cutest hyung after all
“Cut! Finally! Good work Prince Team!!” the PDs claps their hands, and so does the members. The day is finally over, and Kyuhyun is about to take a deep breath when one of the PDs gestures his hand, calling him near.
“Tomorrow we’re going to film the next part, and you have to be more serious. Because there’ll be some hugging scenes and you know how bad you are when it involves skinships.” Kyuhyun himself is 100% agreed with the PD that without him even noticing it, his head nods. He glances at Sungmin who is speaking to Jungsu at the moment. Tomorrow he’ll be embracing the small built of that man. His imagination starts to runs wild. He wonders how Sungmin would look like without that pink outfit he is wearing, or that pair of baggy jeans he got on.
This is dangerous
So he pulls the tails of all the running imaginations and put them back into his mind box before anyone can see it. It is dangerous for a healthy eighteen year old like him to think about another man (another cute man) like that.
***
The hugging scene is awkward, and they are both blushing. Sungmin is fanning himself, and Kyuhyun almost smacked his head onto the wheel of the convertible that they got the chance to use for their team’s drama because they won the game earlier.
Sungmin is too nervous, he blames everyone that are looking at them as somehow pressuring him. Kyuhyun laughs as he leans his head on the top of the wheel, and scanning the hyung’s face next to him. Lee Sungmin is lovely when he’s nervous. He’s chatty, noisy, and somewhat Kyuhyun is flabbergasted by how he can have the mood swings from being like this to a dead silent when he is depressed. Lee Sungmin is a moody hyung, and that what makes him lovely.
“Hyung you should be the girl, you know? You put your hand here when I hug you.” Kyuhyun pulls Sungmin’s right hand and put it across his own laps, so that Sungmin’s body will lean in more towards him. “Why must I be the girl?” Sungmin whispers, but he doesn't move his hand. Somehow he is agreeing to Kyuhyun’s suggestion.
“Oh come on hyung. You don't want this scene to repeat for six times like yesterday, right?”
“And who’s fault do you think it was?” Kyuhyun isn’t answering. Slowly, he pulls Sungmin’s left hand and put it onto his right shoulder, and Sungmin looks simply submissive to the hug. Kyuhyun chuckles in amusement. Sungmin is aware of that, and finally let him go.
“Uhm, so as you said... yeah just do that.”
Which is surprisingly, only took them a shot. Even better, the kiss-me-on-the-head scene is continued after that without any fail. As Kyuhyun plants his lips onto Sungmin’s forehead, he can feel the temperature of Sungmin’s body increases. When it is the time for him to pulls away, he smiles in enjoyment. “Hyung, you’re blushing.”
Sungmin cups his own cheeks, and shakes his head. “This is embarrassing!!” but Kyuhyun thinks that he is adorable.
***
He is shocked of how Hyukjae and Donghae show their affection towards each other. They even openly admit about their EunHae relationship. So did Youngwoon and Jungsu; Kangteuk? What the hell is that? When he asked them why, they smiled and told him that it is all fan services. “We have to satisfy our fans, both mentally and physically. I mean...”
“Oh shut up, Youngwoon! A fan service is a fan service. Girls are excited to see hot guys doing skinships and such, so we give them what we want. By the way, don't you have your own pairing too?”
Kyuhyun’s eyes are wide open. He never thought he would have his own pairing in this band. Or is the leader making stupid assumptions?
Euwh, fans are scary.
But I wish it is Sungmin hyung
“I did? Who?” excitedly, but subtly showing it with an I-don't-give-a-damn face, he search the room they are sleazing in, and catch Sungmin’s glinting eyes looking at him, and quickly turns away as their eyes meet. His face is red, and his small lips are curling up on its sides. Kyuhyun laughs silently.
“Well, I guess it’s Wookie?” Donghae bluntly suggests, and Sungmin gives him a killer look.
Oh, I get it
***
The beautiful hands that clench his collar are trembling, that if Kyuhyun mistakenly look at it, he must have thought an earthquake is happening right now.
“Don't you like me too, hyung?” Sungmin takes a deep breath, exhales, and slowly nods. “Then what else?” his hands are still on his sides, not doing anything, not even putting away Sungmin’s trembling hands earlier. Kyuhyun know that he is being serious. He may seems playful, ignorant, and sometimes naughty (well all the time), but if it is the matter of heart and feelings, he can never take it lightly.
Here is what happened: Kyuhyun felt as if he couldn’t restrain himself anymore, and he was sure he likes Sungmin, so he confessed. Sungmin’s earlier reaction was happy, but then, he turned sad and disturbed. And he started to ask him why he said those like too easily, as if the feeling of like is nothing to him. He wants Kyuhyun to be more serious.
And Kyuhyun wonder if he can ever be more serious than he is right now. Because in his nineteen years of life, this is the first time he is being serious with anyone, and it is a guy to begin with.
“You don't know what it feels to like someone of your sex.”
“Yes I know, hyung. It feels like this. Just like how I like you.”
“No, you don't understand. I only know that I can like girls, until you came. Until you speaks to me. Until you smile towards me. And even though I know that I can like you, the world doesn't know that. The world cannot know that!” he shakes Kyuhyun’s tall built almost violently, but Kyuhyun doesn't move an inch. He lifts his left hand up and put it gently onto Sungmin’s soft blonde hair. His fingers lace through the fragranced texture that touches his hand’s skin, soft and gentle. He can see Sungmin is trembling even worse.
Kyuhyun wipes Sungmin’s tears. Kyuhyun knows he doubts his sincerity. Kyuhyun understands. Because he never tells Sungmin how attracted he was to him the first time he saw the small guy with weird hair and a pink tennis cap on his head, smiling at him when he entered the dorm for the first time. He never tells Sungmin how stunned he was when he first spoke to Sungmin, knowing that there will be a guy who is so soft spoken and well-mannered when he speaks, and gentle voice that would make anyone melt.
Sungmin never knew how special he is to Kyuhyun. He just never realized.
Their shared bedroom now falls into a complete silence. Sungmin is still fisting his collar. He doesn't want to move away, and he doesn't want to stay either. He is in dilemma, Kyuhyun can see that. He doesn't want to see that. He wants Sungmin to say yes. He wants Sungmin to be ready when he says yes. He wants Sungmin to be ready and look at him in the eyes and smiles when he says yes.
It has been almost ten minutes, and there is still no reaction from Sungmin. Kyuhyun chuckles, and put both Sungmin’s cold hands into his, sliding them down near to his chest; his heart.
“Kyuhyun, I...”
“Don't force yourself to accept me. You don't have to accept me. To know that our feelings are mutual is enough for me. I’m glad that you like me too.”
Sungmin takes his hands away, and stands still in front of him, frozen. His mouth seems to be saying something, but the words don’t come out. Kyuhyun just don't care what kind of words that will come out, because he know that it will be either an ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘don't wait for me’. But just then, Sungmin grabs his collar once again, harsh; and crushes their lips together. A kiss, he is given a kiss.
Kyuhyun is glad how the kiss is simply a kiss. Just a simple lips on lips’ kiss. Not a kiss because of lust. Because he know, if lust plays its role, he won't be able to control himself.
“Why are you so good to me? I may hurt you, you know?”
“Just do what you want to do to me. I’m tough. I’m not easily broken.”
Sungmin cries again, and dips his face into Kyuhyun’s chest. “We can't be a couple. Is that okay with you?”
“I know. It’s okay. Come to me when you feel like it. Make me your lover, I don't care. As long as I can have you in my arms, I don't really mind.”
Sungmin cries even harder. “What if... what if I have found someone, a girl that I really love one day? Would you still be waiting for me?”
Kyuhyun doesn't answer the question, but he let out a small chuckle and smiles. It is a tough question to begin with. But he is prepared.
“I’m a house that you can permanently return to, hyung. But if you want me to vanish, then I’ll crumble myself to the ground in no time.”
***
He can't speak. He moves his lips, lifts his tongue, and clenches his teeth, but no words are coming out from his throat. He is mute. He can hear everyone around him talking and wishing him well, and Hyukjae’s warm hands that rarely leave his side. His mother that never fails to come and be with him every day, and even his father who was against his dream a few years ago is there whenever he wakes up.
He never hopes for any other members to come and visit him all the time, he don’t expect them to do that. But still, Donghae come and speaks to him with his childish smile, taking Hyukjae’s place whenever Hyukjae has his schedule filled. Hankyung too, even though he is busy with settling his visa problems and such. Kibum visits him whenever he has free times, and surprisingly, even Heechul too.
But he rarely sees Sungmin around. Yes he is happy everyone is taking care of him, but he wants to see Sungmin the most. The first time he opened his eyes, he saw him, leaning at the wall behind the crowd that was surrounding him. Sungmin didn't move towards him, Sungmin didn't say anything. All he did was staring him from afar. Sungmin didn't even cry. It’s selfish of him, but he wants to see him cry. He wants him to come and hugs him, be angry at him for not being able to protect himself, show him how grateful he is for he is still alive.
But Sungmin isn’t there. Or so he thought.
It is only the tenth night he is in the hospital, just a few days after he was transferred into the normal ward that Sungmin come and smile to him. Kyuhyun is not a bit angry. He is glad. So glad that Sungmin came, which he tries to speak even though he is still recovering from the operations he had. Sungmin sits on the edge of his bed, looking at him with a worried face. his hand that is always cold is brushing Kyuhyun’s bang and cheeks that got scratched badly when the van flipped over. Kyuhyun palms the hand on his cheek, and closes his eyes. As if he wants that hand to be his forever; to be one with his skins so that they won't have to be separated.
“It must’ve been hurt.”
Kyuhyun reach for the marker pen and the small whiteboard that Jungsu put there for him to communicate, and starts to write something on it.
No, because I was thinking of you
“Then I must’ve been a bad luck.”
Anyone with the name Lee Sungmin can never be a bad luck
“You damn sweet talker.” Sungmin chuckles and slides his fingers into Kyuhyun’s injured ones. He can see the red marks of bare flesh on the magnae’s hands and arms, and his bandaged leg. Slowly, he lifts Kyuhyun’s hand and put it near his lips, kissing it lightly. Kyuhyun swears, if he can move his body as fast as he normally is right now, he would have pulled Sungmin to be inside his arms and wipe away the tears that starts to form in the latter’s eyes.
“Sorry for not coming here often.”
You’re busy it’s not your fault
“No. Even though I don't have any schedule, I... I don't have the guts to come. I can't bear to see you like this.”
Don't cry. I’m still alive
“I’m afraid thinking what if I can't hear you sing anymore. What if you stop listening to everything people say? I’m scared.”
Silly you’re worrying too much. I am one-ear deaf
Kyuhyun shows his left ear to Sungmin and smiles. Sungmin put his head down, doesn't want to see his face.
“Am I a bad lover?”
Kyuhyun put down the board, and smiles at Sungmin. A tooth is missing in his smile, and he intentionally showing it at Sungmin, making the latter to laugh.
Why must Sungmin be a bad lover? He is the best lover Kyuhyun ever had. Looking at the crying Sungmin, he regrets the idea of wanting Sungmin to cry earlier.
Can I kiss you
“Wh - what? Here?”
Kyuhyun ignores the question, and adds something to the question; and a question mark is following it.
Can I kiss you here right now?
Sungmin looks embarrassed, and worried at the same time. Suspiciously he stands up and pulls the curtain, not letting people to see what happens behind it.
***
They said Sungmin is dating Sunye. Kyuhyun doesn't want to say anything about it, but he knows that he can lose control whenever he is on the net. Fans are making speculations about the couple. Sungmin and Sunye falls in love while in training. Sungmin and Sunye secretly dating behind the cameras. Sungmin and Sunye did this and that.
What is wrong with them? Why must the say something that is not true? Sungmin is dating me!
Kyuhyun stops. Yeah he forgot. They’re not even dating. He is just a place where Sungmin can return to when the world is against him. and he used to be satisfied with that, but why can't he now? He scrolls down on the search ‘Sungmin - Sunye” and dozens of fans’ cafes are talking about it. just then, a pair of hands is covering his eyes, and deep breathings are blowing warm air at the back of his neck.
“Do not read what is not real. Don't be angry.”
“I’m not reading any. I’m not even angry. Don't worry hyung. You can date with anyone that you want, you don't have to hide it from me.”
Sungmin hooks his chin onto Kyuhyun’s left shoulder, and pouts. “But I am not dating anyone! And, and...”
Kyuhyun refuses to listen, he doesn't want to know whether Sungmin is telling the truth or not. Standing up, he grabs Sungmin’s waist into his arms, and kiss the latter as hard as he could. It is a kiss of lust, he wants to have Sungmin tonight.
He leads Sungmin into the bed, after slamming the door of their room hard and locking it. he likes the feeling when Sungmin brushes his cheeks, and his cold, long fingers are tickling behind his neck.
Sungmin is precious, so he wants to do this in the gentlest way possible. He lifts the latter’s black shirt slowly with his hands creeping from the tummy to the chest, kissing them passionately. Sungmin’s moans are music that cannot be hate.
Kyuhyun likes it, the way his fingers dugs in Sungmin’s soft flesh and skin when he lifts the latter’s thighs and wraps them around his waist. The face that he makes when Kyuhyun tears his back slit will haunt Kyuhyun forever. The way he bites his lower lips and opens half of his eyes when Kyuhyun thrusts inside him. and the way he calls Kyuhyun’s name when they both about to come.
Kyuhyun loves everything about Sungmin. Even though he knows that Sungmin isn’t sure about his own feelings for him. Kyuhyun just doesn't care. As long as they can be together.
***
Hankyung smiles as Kyuhyun sits down and help him to pack his bags. “You know, stubbornness will always lead to self destruct, hyung.” Hankyung isn’t answering. He keeps smiling and packing his bags. “Can't you be more relevant, hyung? It’s not just about you.”
Heechul comes out from his room, and stares at the magnae as if he is going to kill him there. Kyuhyun understands, so he leaves the room. But later, he can hear sobs and crying voice of Heechul, yet he is not blurting out any nonsense like ‘don't go’ or ‘come back again’.
“Don't forget Hangul words. I’m not going to be there to help you practising them anymore.”
“Arasso.”
“And don't pick up anymore troubles with your management company there. Enough with this one.”
“I understand.”
Silence. Kyuhyun doesn't want to move his feet yet. He wants to hear what the hyungs are going to say.
“I’m going to miss you there. Will you miss me here?”
“Why should I? It’s not like I’m your wife or something.”
“Whatever. Don't skip your meals when I’m gone. I’ll be worried if you are skinny.”
“I am skinny.” But then no more words are heard. Kyuhyun peeks inside, and he can see Hankyung is cuddling Heechul like a cat in his arms. He is kissing the exposing collarbones that Heechul have, and Heechul is crying.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
Sungmin is holding his hand when Jungsu sits down on the sofa and palms his face. Youngwoon comes in later, and sits next to him, his hand trying to pull Jungsu’s left one, but fail. “Sorry I caused such a trouble, hyung. I’m sorry.”
Hyukjae is sitting on the floor, almost crying when Donghae put his arm across the sensitive man’s shoulder, calming him down. His words are so soft, it is almost impossible to hear it from their standing place.
“Is he gonna be okay, Kyuhyun? Are we gonna be okay?” Sungmin asks him, and he doesn't know what to say. Super Junior is slowly being tortured by the public, by the management, and sometimes even by the fans. But he has to say something.
“We’re going to be just fine. Because believe it or not, we still have each other, near or far.” And his hand grips on Sungmin’s even tighter, as if he is asking for a confirmation back from Sungmin. The latter turns to face him and smile.
“At least... I still have you.” And Kyuhyun is blushing.
Jungsu stitches his fingers into Youngwoon’s calloused one, and tighten the gaps between those hands. “Nothing to be sorry about, it’s too late to even to be sorry about it. As long as you’re safe, then that’s enough.”
“But I’ve made up my mind hyung.”
Everyone is waiting for him to continue his words.
***
Kyuhyun can see Youngwoon is nervous in that blue t-shirt. He can see that he is sad and guilty at the same time. He can see Jungsu patting and hugging the nervous hyung dozens of time, and sometimes, his hands won't leave Youngwoon’s. Heechul comes and wipes the tear that flows from his dongsaeng face. Ryeowook can't seem to utter a word and Yesung too, but still the weird hyung tries to calm Ryeowook down. Siwon hugs just about every member who is crying, but seeing how Kyuhyun is always next to Sungmin, he skips away.
“Don't worry, Youngwoon-ah. We’ll be waiting for you for two years. Come back healthy.” Heechul hugs him. Youngwoon hugs him back. Then he turns to find Jungsu, who is standing a bit further than the other members that surround him. Everyone is talking about how to cope with everything, so they doesn't realise Youngwoon is taking Jungsu away from the camera and the crowds for awhile. Kyuhyun can see that, and curiously, he pulls Sungmin’s hand and forces him to follow.
Behind a huge tree, Youngwoon starts his speech.
“I’m sorry I have to do this.”
“I know, it’s okay. Don't be sorry about it. We’ll make things to work out.”
“Don't tire yourself out, hyung. I’m worried about you.”
“Take care of yourself, Youngwoon. We’ll be waiting for your return.” Jungsu pats his shoulder, and walks away, before he stops and turns around.
“I’ll be waiting for you to return to my side. No matter how long it takes.”
Kyuhyun and Sungmin gasps when they see Youngwoon runs towards Jungsu and hugs him, literally lifting him up, and kiss the crying leader passionately. Stunned, they sit down behind the tree, and look into each other’s eyes.
***
It has been almost nine years since he becomes the magnae of the band. The band itself is one of the respected sunbaes in the entertainment field. Despite the harsh and cruel management of the company, they somehow manage to survive. But Kyuhyun can sense the wind of breaking up inside.
He still doesn't have any girlfriend, and so does Sungmin. Sometimes he wonders if Sungmin really appreciate this relationship that they have. This secret from public, unknown to other members’ relationship. Because he starts to feel as if Sungmin is trying to avoids him lately. And their ages are not a joke anymore. Sungmin has already speaks about marriage on most of the interviews he had, and Kyuhyun is worried.
This relationship can never last, he is already prepared for that. But what if he wants this relationship to last longer than, let’s say; the band itself?
“Super Show 8 will be our last performance as a band. Agreed?” Jungsu suddenly asks about this spontaneously one day, while they are having a break in their dorms. Shindong isn’t there because he lives in his own house with his wife nowadays. It has been about two months after they finish promoting their seventh album, and now is the time of solo schedules; a routine they had followed since the last nine years. Kyuhyun stands up, but there are no words that he can form. He looks at his hyungs’ faces one by one, and none of them is showing disagreement.
I get it. This is the end
***
He is almost thirty himself. And he is sure that Jungsu too is reaching his limit as a performer. He seems to be more comfortable being an MC and deejay with Youngwoon. Ryeowook and Yesung has become the famous duo ballad, and they can survive on their own. He himself has more than five solo albums on his own. Sungmin, Siwon and Kibum have become great actors with movie offers almost every week. And Sungmin even have more scandals that he can never stop worrying about it.
Heechul is about to leave the band anyway, because a few weeks ago, Hankyung returned to Korea, met with everyone, and finally, proposed Heechul in front of them. It’s not like they doesn't know about the relationship, they actually know it pretty well, but they kept quiet about it because they know how Heechul is when people interferes in his personal life. So when Heechul nodded to the proposal, without having anything to be gross about, they hugged each other and sang the congratulation song, and told the official couple to kiss in front of them. Hankyung was blushing and a bit hesitant, but Heechul in the end took the initiative and pulled him close so that their lips would meet.
Everyone was cheering, except for Sungmin. He was watching Youngwoon hugging Jungsu, and Hyukjae being backhugged by Donghae. He then turned to their intertwined hands, and finally to Kyuhyun’s face. he didn't know Kyuhyun was watching him, so when their eyes met, he turned away.
“You’ve been so hard to be reach nowadays, hyung. Is everything okay?”
“I... I was busy. You know, dramas and everything. Well you too...”
“Me what?”
Sungmin turned and said “it’s nothing.”
Kyuhyun hates to say this, but he thinks that Sungmin is never going to believe his true feelings, or even confide in his own feelings.
***
Super Show 8 ended last night. Tears were blending with their old sweats. Hands were holding each other, and hugs were exchanged at the end. This final Super Show was special, because after years of less than thirteen performing, this time, even Hankyung was here. He specially made his schedule for special appearances in every concert, and Heechul couldn’t be happier about it. The fans were crying when they scream “Thirteen plus two!” and the members were just the same. Sapphire blue was filling the whole open stadium.
Maybe because of years performing, they didn't feel a bit intense in this final one. They were more relaxed, and even playful than before, as if nobody were watching them. They sang, they danced, they laughed and they cried. They were enjoying the last moments together.
***
“Kyuhyun, I’m getting married.”
He wonders why he isn’t surprised hearing that from Sungmin. The latter is biting his lower lips. Kyuhyun is hoping that he will stop that, or...
“My family has found me a perfect future wife.”
“Congratulations.”
They are in their shared room, packing every single thing they have. Like telling how they doesn't want to be in here anymore. Well, they have their own homes anyway. This dorm is only the place for the band to come and meet each other about activities or just simply hanging out together.
“You’re not mad?”
“No I’m not. Didn't I tell you since the beginning? I’m the house that you can always return to, but...”
“...if I asked you to vanish, you’ll crumble yourself to the ground.”
Sungmin stands, and walks to Kyuhyun’s side, then sits down. He leans his head on Kyuhyun’s arm, and hums their own song, ‘Marry U’.
“I wish I can sing this song to you, hyung.”
“But you can't.”
No, I can't
***
The members are in the living room, with their things in their hands and luggage. Everyone is making promises on how they won't forget each other, how it is impossible to forget each other, and that they will never lost contacts. Donghae and Hyukjae walk hands in hands, so does Jungsu and Youngwoon. Heechul and Hankyung kisses for the umpteenth time and wave goodbye to everyone, before they leave with Hankyung’s Lamborghini. Kibum calls his girlfriend to wait for him at the restaurant before walking out and Yesung and Ryeowook is looking at each other, Yesung is wiping Ryeowook’s tear and tells him not to cry, because they will always be together.
They will always be together. If only I can say that to Sungmin one more time.
“Sungmin hyung?” Sungmin stops dragging his luggage and turns to face him in front of the elevator. He reaches the elder’s hand, and pulls him near.
“Once we’re inside, until the elevator reaches the ground, can I kiss you?”
Sungmin isn’t answering, but he nods.
“One final kiss, it won't hurt, right?”
And he is wishing that they had lived in a hundredth-storeys building, so that it will take them longer to reach the ground floor.
***
His girlfriend is palming his cheeks, and ruffles his grey hair. Kyuhyun can see the sun is setting to his right, and the night sky appears on his left. “You’re away from me again, just now, weren’t you?”
Kyuhyun grins, and takes the girl’s hands into his.
“Know why I said to not to wish something like that?”
The girlfriend shakes her head, and smiles in confusion. Kyuhyun chuckles, and wraps his arms around her.
“Because you won't be my precious one back then.”
Because Lee Sungmin was there
---
Sequel : Don't Wait, Fall Now
Epilogue : Falling Back to Places
---
“I wish that I know you earlier.”
The wind is blowing, ruffling his now a bit greyish hair. Wrinkles start to draw their permanent lines underneath his eyes and forehead in the most subtle way; thin linings that can be hidden by an average layer of cosmetic powder.
I am getting older
Cho Kyuhyun is over the thirty years of his age today. Precisely; he is a thirty-three year old man today. He is wearing a plain white shirt, with a black pair of jeans wrapping his long legs. The weather is pretty warm, that even though the wind is blowing, it doesn't help in cooling down the temperature.
In his left hand, a grip is safely secured, trying his best to show the owner of the hand that she is precious. A small head is leaning on his left shoulder, and a controlled sound of breathings is penetrating his eardrums.
“Watch what you’re wishing for, darling.”
He is dating a young girl, well; a girl younger than him. A gorgeous twenty-five year old girl, or lady with a pair of small lips and shining doe eyes.
Just like him
“I just want to know how were the young you when you were in the band. That’s all. Because you know, I was a fan of you after all.”
Kyuhyun laughs, not because of the lips that pouts in front of him, but because he remembers the memories that supposed to be put away from his mind. The memories of the twelve hyungs that were cruel to him, that were scared of him, that was fond of him and annoyed by him.
The band that started off with twelve members, and his account made them thirteen. The band that was a part of his life; where he met the strangest people he ever knew, yet there was the hyungs who treated him like he was a jewel.
And it was when he was in the band, that he started to realise that he can actually love someone so deeply, like there was nothing else inside his world except his loved one, even though it was only for a brief moment.
Because Lee Sungmin was there
***
“Yah~! You! Stop laughing!! What’s so funny about this??” everyone is looking at him, but he just can’t stop snickering. Sungmin looks so pink, so girly, and the scene that they have to record today seems to fit in place.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Aigoo~ what is wrong with me??” he palms his brows, and breathe. Shindong is staring at him, and Sungmin gives a sign with his hands, saying he just don't care anymore.
It is one of their earliest reality shows, ‘Mini Drama’, and the scene supposed to be like this: Kyuhyun is walking in their dorm’s living room, and Sungmin is carrying a mountain of futon or something, and they bumps into each other, having one of those you-know-how-lovers-fell in front of the door, and Shindong walks in.
It is a simple scene, knowing how they are in the dorm, with all the skinships (especially Siwon and Heechul, too bad it isn’t their turn) but Kyuhyun find that it is somehow a hard task to be done. And he is not feeling a bit imperilled when Sungmin smashes the futons on the floor and orders him to exchange the role with him (Sungmin is the bottom you know) that he laughs and apologises multiple times. He is nervous, this is his first acting experience (which it suck) and Sungmin is just too adorable to not to be play with.
Because he’s the cutest hyung after all
“Cut! Finally! Good work Prince Team!!” the PDs claps their hands, and so does the members. The day is finally over, and Kyuhyun is about to take a deep breath when one of the PDs gestures his hand, calling him near.
“Tomorrow we’re going to film the next part, and you have to be more serious. Because there’ll be some hugging scenes and you know how bad you are when it involves skinships.” Kyuhyun himself is 100% agreed with the PD that without him even noticing it, his head nods. He glances at Sungmin who is speaking to Jungsu at the moment. Tomorrow he’ll be embracing the small built of that man. His imagination starts to runs wild. He wonders how Sungmin would look like without that pink outfit he is wearing, or that pair of baggy jeans he got on.
This is dangerous
So he pulls the tails of all the running imaginations and put them back into his mind box before anyone can see it. It is dangerous for a healthy eighteen year old like him to think about another man (another cute man) like that.
***
The hugging scene is awkward, and they are both blushing. Sungmin is fanning himself, and Kyuhyun almost smacked his head onto the wheel of the convertible that they got the chance to use for their team’s drama because they won the game earlier.
Sungmin is too nervous, he blames everyone that are looking at them as somehow pressuring him. Kyuhyun laughs as he leans his head on the top of the wheel, and scanning the hyung’s face next to him. Lee Sungmin is lovely when he’s nervous. He’s chatty, noisy, and somewhat Kyuhyun is flabbergasted by how he can have the mood swings from being like this to a dead silent when he is depressed. Lee Sungmin is a moody hyung, and that what makes him lovely.
“Hyung you should be the girl, you know? You put your hand here when I hug you.” Kyuhyun pulls Sungmin’s right hand and put it across his own laps, so that Sungmin’s body will lean in more towards him. “Why must I be the girl?” Sungmin whispers, but he doesn't move his hand. Somehow he is agreeing to Kyuhyun’s suggestion.
“Oh come on hyung. You don't want this scene to repeat for six times like yesterday, right?”
“And who’s fault do you think it was?” Kyuhyun isn’t answering. Slowly, he pulls Sungmin’s left hand and put it onto his right shoulder, and Sungmin looks simply submissive to the hug. Kyuhyun chuckles in amusement. Sungmin is aware of that, and finally let him go.
“Uhm, so as you said... yeah just do that.”
Which is surprisingly, only took them a shot. Even better, the kiss-me-on-the-head scene is continued after that without any fail. As Kyuhyun plants his lips onto Sungmin’s forehead, he can feel the temperature of Sungmin’s body increases. When it is the time for him to pulls away, he smiles in enjoyment. “Hyung, you’re blushing.”
Sungmin cups his own cheeks, and shakes his head. “This is embarrassing!!” but Kyuhyun thinks that he is adorable.
***
He is shocked of how Hyukjae and Donghae show their affection towards each other. They even openly admit about their EunHae relationship. So did Youngwoon and Jungsu; Kangteuk? What the hell is that? When he asked them why, they smiled and told him that it is all fan services. “We have to satisfy our fans, both mentally and physically. I mean...”
“Oh shut up, Youngwoon! A fan service is a fan service. Girls are excited to see hot guys doing skinships and such, so we give them what we want. By the way, don't you have your own pairing too?”
Kyuhyun’s eyes are wide open. He never thought he would have his own pairing in this band. Or is the leader making stupid assumptions?
Euwh, fans are scary.
But I wish it is Sungmin hyung
“I did? Who?” excitedly, but subtly showing it with an I-don't-give-a-damn face, he search the room they are sleazing in, and catch Sungmin’s glinting eyes looking at him, and quickly turns away as their eyes meet. His face is red, and his small lips are curling up on its sides. Kyuhyun laughs silently.
“Well, I guess it’s Wookie?” Donghae bluntly suggests, and Sungmin gives him a killer look.
Oh, I get it
***
The beautiful hands that clench his collar are trembling, that if Kyuhyun mistakenly look at it, he must have thought an earthquake is happening right now.
“Don't you like me too, hyung?” Sungmin takes a deep breath, exhales, and slowly nods. “Then what else?” his hands are still on his sides, not doing anything, not even putting away Sungmin’s trembling hands earlier. Kyuhyun know that he is being serious. He may seems playful, ignorant, and sometimes naughty (well all the time), but if it is the matter of heart and feelings, he can never take it lightly.
Here is what happened: Kyuhyun felt as if he couldn’t restrain himself anymore, and he was sure he likes Sungmin, so he confessed. Sungmin’s earlier reaction was happy, but then, he turned sad and disturbed. And he started to ask him why he said those like too easily, as if the feeling of like is nothing to him. He wants Kyuhyun to be more serious.
And Kyuhyun wonder if he can ever be more serious than he is right now. Because in his nineteen years of life, this is the first time he is being serious with anyone, and it is a guy to begin with.
“You don't know what it feels to like someone of your sex.”
“Yes I know, hyung. It feels like this. Just like how I like you.”
“No, you don't understand. I only know that I can like girls, until you came. Until you speaks to me. Until you smile towards me. And even though I know that I can like you, the world doesn't know that. The world cannot know that!” he shakes Kyuhyun’s tall built almost violently, but Kyuhyun doesn't move an inch. He lifts his left hand up and put it gently onto Sungmin’s soft blonde hair. His fingers lace through the fragranced texture that touches his hand’s skin, soft and gentle. He can see Sungmin is trembling even worse.
Kyuhyun wipes Sungmin’s tears. Kyuhyun knows he doubts his sincerity. Kyuhyun understands. Because he never tells Sungmin how attracted he was to him the first time he saw the small guy with weird hair and a pink tennis cap on his head, smiling at him when he entered the dorm for the first time. He never tells Sungmin how stunned he was when he first spoke to Sungmin, knowing that there will be a guy who is so soft spoken and well-mannered when he speaks, and gentle voice that would make anyone melt.
Sungmin never knew how special he is to Kyuhyun. He just never realized.
Their shared bedroom now falls into a complete silence. Sungmin is still fisting his collar. He doesn't want to move away, and he doesn't want to stay either. He is in dilemma, Kyuhyun can see that. He doesn't want to see that. He wants Sungmin to say yes. He wants Sungmin to be ready when he says yes. He wants Sungmin to be ready and look at him in the eyes and smiles when he says yes.
It has been almost ten minutes, and there is still no reaction from Sungmin. Kyuhyun chuckles, and put both Sungmin’s cold hands into his, sliding them down near to his chest; his heart.
“Kyuhyun, I...”
“Don't force yourself to accept me. You don't have to accept me. To know that our feelings are mutual is enough for me. I’m glad that you like me too.”
Sungmin takes his hands away, and stands still in front of him, frozen. His mouth seems to be saying something, but the words don’t come out. Kyuhyun just don't care what kind of words that will come out, because he know that it will be either an ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘don't wait for me’. But just then, Sungmin grabs his collar once again, harsh; and crushes their lips together. A kiss, he is given a kiss.
Kyuhyun is glad how the kiss is simply a kiss. Just a simple lips on lips’ kiss. Not a kiss because of lust. Because he know, if lust plays its role, he won't be able to control himself.
“Why are you so good to me? I may hurt you, you know?”
“Just do what you want to do to me. I’m tough. I’m not easily broken.”
Sungmin cries again, and dips his face into Kyuhyun’s chest. “We can't be a couple. Is that okay with you?”
“I know. It’s okay. Come to me when you feel like it. Make me your lover, I don't care. As long as I can have you in my arms, I don't really mind.”
Sungmin cries even harder. “What if... what if I have found someone, a girl that I really love one day? Would you still be waiting for me?”
Kyuhyun doesn't answer the question, but he let out a small chuckle and smiles. It is a tough question to begin with. But he is prepared.
“I’m a house that you can permanently return to, hyung. But if you want me to vanish, then I’ll crumble myself to the ground in no time.”
***
He can't speak. He moves his lips, lifts his tongue, and clenches his teeth, but no words are coming out from his throat. He is mute. He can hear everyone around him talking and wishing him well, and Hyukjae’s warm hands that rarely leave his side. His mother that never fails to come and be with him every day, and even his father who was against his dream a few years ago is there whenever he wakes up.
He never hopes for any other members to come and visit him all the time, he don’t expect them to do that. But still, Donghae come and speaks to him with his childish smile, taking Hyukjae’s place whenever Hyukjae has his schedule filled. Hankyung too, even though he is busy with settling his visa problems and such. Kibum visits him whenever he has free times, and surprisingly, even Heechul too.
But he rarely sees Sungmin around. Yes he is happy everyone is taking care of him, but he wants to see Sungmin the most. The first time he opened his eyes, he saw him, leaning at the wall behind the crowd that was surrounding him. Sungmin didn't move towards him, Sungmin didn't say anything. All he did was staring him from afar. Sungmin didn't even cry. It’s selfish of him, but he wants to see him cry. He wants him to come and hugs him, be angry at him for not being able to protect himself, show him how grateful he is for he is still alive.
But Sungmin isn’t there. Or so he thought.
It is only the tenth night he is in the hospital, just a few days after he was transferred into the normal ward that Sungmin come and smile to him. Kyuhyun is not a bit angry. He is glad. So glad that Sungmin came, which he tries to speak even though he is still recovering from the operations he had. Sungmin sits on the edge of his bed, looking at him with a worried face. his hand that is always cold is brushing Kyuhyun’s bang and cheeks that got scratched badly when the van flipped over. Kyuhyun palms the hand on his cheek, and closes his eyes. As if he wants that hand to be his forever; to be one with his skins so that they won't have to be separated.
“It must’ve been hurt.”
Kyuhyun reach for the marker pen and the small whiteboard that Jungsu put there for him to communicate, and starts to write something on it.
No, because I was thinking of you
“Then I must’ve been a bad luck.”
Anyone with the name Lee Sungmin can never be a bad luck
“You damn sweet talker.” Sungmin chuckles and slides his fingers into Kyuhyun’s injured ones. He can see the red marks of bare flesh on the magnae’s hands and arms, and his bandaged leg. Slowly, he lifts Kyuhyun’s hand and put it near his lips, kissing it lightly. Kyuhyun swears, if he can move his body as fast as he normally is right now, he would have pulled Sungmin to be inside his arms and wipe away the tears that starts to form in the latter’s eyes.
“Sorry for not coming here often.”
You’re busy it’s not your fault
“No. Even though I don't have any schedule, I... I don't have the guts to come. I can't bear to see you like this.”
Don't cry. I’m still alive
“I’m afraid thinking what if I can't hear you sing anymore. What if you stop listening to everything people say? I’m scared.”
Silly you’re worrying too much. I am one-ear deaf
Kyuhyun shows his left ear to Sungmin and smiles. Sungmin put his head down, doesn't want to see his face.
“Am I a bad lover?”
Kyuhyun put down the board, and smiles at Sungmin. A tooth is missing in his smile, and he intentionally showing it at Sungmin, making the latter to laugh.
Why must Sungmin be a bad lover? He is the best lover Kyuhyun ever had. Looking at the crying Sungmin, he regrets the idea of wanting Sungmin to cry earlier.
Can I kiss you
“Wh - what? Here?”
Kyuhyun ignores the question, and adds something to the question; and a question mark is following it.
Can I kiss you here right now?
Sungmin looks embarrassed, and worried at the same time. Suspiciously he stands up and pulls the curtain, not letting people to see what happens behind it.
***
They said Sungmin is dating Sunye. Kyuhyun doesn't want to say anything about it, but he knows that he can lose control whenever he is on the net. Fans are making speculations about the couple. Sungmin and Sunye falls in love while in training. Sungmin and Sunye secretly dating behind the cameras. Sungmin and Sunye did this and that.
What is wrong with them? Why must the say something that is not true? Sungmin is dating me!
Kyuhyun stops. Yeah he forgot. They’re not even dating. He is just a place where Sungmin can return to when the world is against him. and he used to be satisfied with that, but why can't he now? He scrolls down on the search ‘Sungmin - Sunye” and dozens of fans’ cafes are talking about it. just then, a pair of hands is covering his eyes, and deep breathings are blowing warm air at the back of his neck.
“Do not read what is not real. Don't be angry.”
“I’m not reading any. I’m not even angry. Don't worry hyung. You can date with anyone that you want, you don't have to hide it from me.”
Sungmin hooks his chin onto Kyuhyun’s left shoulder, and pouts. “But I am not dating anyone! And, and...”
Kyuhyun refuses to listen, he doesn't want to know whether Sungmin is telling the truth or not. Standing up, he grabs Sungmin’s waist into his arms, and kiss the latter as hard as he could. It is a kiss of lust, he wants to have Sungmin tonight.
He leads Sungmin into the bed, after slamming the door of their room hard and locking it. he likes the feeling when Sungmin brushes his cheeks, and his cold, long fingers are tickling behind his neck.
Sungmin is precious, so he wants to do this in the gentlest way possible. He lifts the latter’s black shirt slowly with his hands creeping from the tummy to the chest, kissing them passionately. Sungmin’s moans are music that cannot be hate.
Kyuhyun likes it, the way his fingers dugs in Sungmin’s soft flesh and skin when he lifts the latter’s thighs and wraps them around his waist. The face that he makes when Kyuhyun tears his back slit will haunt Kyuhyun forever. The way he bites his lower lips and opens half of his eyes when Kyuhyun thrusts inside him. and the way he calls Kyuhyun’s name when they both about to come.
Kyuhyun loves everything about Sungmin. Even though he knows that Sungmin isn’t sure about his own feelings for him. Kyuhyun just doesn't care. As long as they can be together.
***
Hankyung smiles as Kyuhyun sits down and help him to pack his bags. “You know, stubbornness will always lead to self destruct, hyung.” Hankyung isn’t answering. He keeps smiling and packing his bags. “Can't you be more relevant, hyung? It’s not just about you.”
Heechul comes out from his room, and stares at the magnae as if he is going to kill him there. Kyuhyun understands, so he leaves the room. But later, he can hear sobs and crying voice of Heechul, yet he is not blurting out any nonsense like ‘don't go’ or ‘come back again’.
“Don't forget Hangul words. I’m not going to be there to help you practising them anymore.”
“Arasso.”
“And don't pick up anymore troubles with your management company there. Enough with this one.”
“I understand.”
Silence. Kyuhyun doesn't want to move his feet yet. He wants to hear what the hyungs are going to say.
“I’m going to miss you there. Will you miss me here?”
“Why should I? It’s not like I’m your wife or something.”
“Whatever. Don't skip your meals when I’m gone. I’ll be worried if you are skinny.”
“I am skinny.” But then no more words are heard. Kyuhyun peeks inside, and he can see Hankyung is cuddling Heechul like a cat in his arms. He is kissing the exposing collarbones that Heechul have, and Heechul is crying.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
***
Sungmin is holding his hand when Jungsu sits down on the sofa and palms his face. Youngwoon comes in later, and sits next to him, his hand trying to pull Jungsu’s left one, but fail. “Sorry I caused such a trouble, hyung. I’m sorry.”
Hyukjae is sitting on the floor, almost crying when Donghae put his arm across the sensitive man’s shoulder, calming him down. His words are so soft, it is almost impossible to hear it from their standing place.
“Is he gonna be okay, Kyuhyun? Are we gonna be okay?” Sungmin asks him, and he doesn't know what to say. Super Junior is slowly being tortured by the public, by the management, and sometimes even by the fans. But he has to say something.
“We’re going to be just fine. Because believe it or not, we still have each other, near or far.” And his hand grips on Sungmin’s even tighter, as if he is asking for a confirmation back from Sungmin. The latter turns to face him and smile.
“At least... I still have you.” And Kyuhyun is blushing.
Jungsu stitches his fingers into Youngwoon’s calloused one, and tighten the gaps between those hands. “Nothing to be sorry about, it’s too late to even to be sorry about it. As long as you’re safe, then that’s enough.”
“But I’ve made up my mind hyung.”
Everyone is waiting for him to continue his words.
***
Kyuhyun can see Youngwoon is nervous in that blue t-shirt. He can see that he is sad and guilty at the same time. He can see Jungsu patting and hugging the nervous hyung dozens of time, and sometimes, his hands won't leave Youngwoon’s. Heechul comes and wipes the tear that flows from his dongsaeng face. Ryeowook can't seem to utter a word and Yesung too, but still the weird hyung tries to calm Ryeowook down. Siwon hugs just about every member who is crying, but seeing how Kyuhyun is always next to Sungmin, he skips away.
“Don't worry, Youngwoon-ah. We’ll be waiting for you for two years. Come back healthy.” Heechul hugs him. Youngwoon hugs him back. Then he turns to find Jungsu, who is standing a bit further than the other members that surround him. Everyone is talking about how to cope with everything, so they doesn't realise Youngwoon is taking Jungsu away from the camera and the crowds for awhile. Kyuhyun can see that, and curiously, he pulls Sungmin’s hand and forces him to follow.
Behind a huge tree, Youngwoon starts his speech.
“I’m sorry I have to do this.”
“I know, it’s okay. Don't be sorry about it. We’ll make things to work out.”
“Don't tire yourself out, hyung. I’m worried about you.”
“Take care of yourself, Youngwoon. We’ll be waiting for your return.” Jungsu pats his shoulder, and walks away, before he stops and turns around.
“I’ll be waiting for you to return to my side. No matter how long it takes.”
Kyuhyun and Sungmin gasps when they see Youngwoon runs towards Jungsu and hugs him, literally lifting him up, and kiss the crying leader passionately. Stunned, they sit down behind the tree, and look into each other’s eyes.
***
It has been almost nine years since he becomes the magnae of the band. The band itself is one of the respected sunbaes in the entertainment field. Despite the harsh and cruel management of the company, they somehow manage to survive. But Kyuhyun can sense the wind of breaking up inside.
He still doesn't have any girlfriend, and so does Sungmin. Sometimes he wonders if Sungmin really appreciate this relationship that they have. This secret from public, unknown to other members’ relationship. Because he starts to feel as if Sungmin is trying to avoids him lately. And their ages are not a joke anymore. Sungmin has already speaks about marriage on most of the interviews he had, and Kyuhyun is worried.
This relationship can never last, he is already prepared for that. But what if he wants this relationship to last longer than, let’s say; the band itself?
“Super Show 8 will be our last performance as a band. Agreed?” Jungsu suddenly asks about this spontaneously one day, while they are having a break in their dorms. Shindong isn’t there because he lives in his own house with his wife nowadays. It has been about two months after they finish promoting their seventh album, and now is the time of solo schedules; a routine they had followed since the last nine years. Kyuhyun stands up, but there are no words that he can form. He looks at his hyungs’ faces one by one, and none of them is showing disagreement.
I get it. This is the end
***
He is almost thirty himself. And he is sure that Jungsu too is reaching his limit as a performer. He seems to be more comfortable being an MC and deejay with Youngwoon. Ryeowook and Yesung has become the famous duo ballad, and they can survive on their own. He himself has more than five solo albums on his own. Sungmin, Siwon and Kibum have become great actors with movie offers almost every week. And Sungmin even have more scandals that he can never stop worrying about it.
Heechul is about to leave the band anyway, because a few weeks ago, Hankyung returned to Korea, met with everyone, and finally, proposed Heechul in front of them. It’s not like they doesn't know about the relationship, they actually know it pretty well, but they kept quiet about it because they know how Heechul is when people interferes in his personal life. So when Heechul nodded to the proposal, without having anything to be gross about, they hugged each other and sang the congratulation song, and told the official couple to kiss in front of them. Hankyung was blushing and a bit hesitant, but Heechul in the end took the initiative and pulled him close so that their lips would meet.
Everyone was cheering, except for Sungmin. He was watching Youngwoon hugging Jungsu, and Hyukjae being backhugged by Donghae. He then turned to their intertwined hands, and finally to Kyuhyun’s face. he didn't know Kyuhyun was watching him, so when their eyes met, he turned away.
“You’ve been so hard to be reach nowadays, hyung. Is everything okay?”
“I... I was busy. You know, dramas and everything. Well you too...”
“Me what?”
Sungmin turned and said “it’s nothing.”
Kyuhyun hates to say this, but he thinks that Sungmin is never going to believe his true feelings, or even confide in his own feelings.
***
Super Show 8 ended last night. Tears were blending with their old sweats. Hands were holding each other, and hugs were exchanged at the end. This final Super Show was special, because after years of less than thirteen performing, this time, even Hankyung was here. He specially made his schedule for special appearances in every concert, and Heechul couldn’t be happier about it. The fans were crying when they scream “Thirteen plus two!” and the members were just the same. Sapphire blue was filling the whole open stadium.
Maybe because of years performing, they didn't feel a bit intense in this final one. They were more relaxed, and even playful than before, as if nobody were watching them. They sang, they danced, they laughed and they cried. They were enjoying the last moments together.
***
“Kyuhyun, I’m getting married.”
He wonders why he isn’t surprised hearing that from Sungmin. The latter is biting his lower lips. Kyuhyun is hoping that he will stop that, or...
“My family has found me a perfect future wife.”
“Congratulations.”
They are in their shared room, packing every single thing they have. Like telling how they doesn't want to be in here anymore. Well, they have their own homes anyway. This dorm is only the place for the band to come and meet each other about activities or just simply hanging out together.
“You’re not mad?”
“No I’m not. Didn't I tell you since the beginning? I’m the house that you can always return to, but...”
“...if I asked you to vanish, you’ll crumble yourself to the ground.”
Sungmin stands, and walks to Kyuhyun’s side, then sits down. He leans his head on Kyuhyun’s arm, and hums their own song, ‘Marry U’.
“I wish I can sing this song to you, hyung.”
“But you can't.”
No, I can't
***
The members are in the living room, with their things in their hands and luggage. Everyone is making promises on how they won't forget each other, how it is impossible to forget each other, and that they will never lost contacts. Donghae and Hyukjae walk hands in hands, so does Jungsu and Youngwoon. Heechul and Hankyung kisses for the umpteenth time and wave goodbye to everyone, before they leave with Hankyung’s Lamborghini. Kibum calls his girlfriend to wait for him at the restaurant before walking out and Yesung and Ryeowook is looking at each other, Yesung is wiping Ryeowook’s tear and tells him not to cry, because they will always be together.
They will always be together. If only I can say that to Sungmin one more time.
“Sungmin hyung?” Sungmin stops dragging his luggage and turns to face him in front of the elevator. He reaches the elder’s hand, and pulls him near.
“Once we’re inside, until the elevator reaches the ground, can I kiss you?”
Sungmin isn’t answering, but he nods.
“One final kiss, it won't hurt, right?”
And he is wishing that they had lived in a hundredth-storeys building, so that it will take them longer to reach the ground floor.
***
His girlfriend is palming his cheeks, and ruffles his grey hair. Kyuhyun can see the sun is setting to his right, and the night sky appears on his left. “You’re away from me again, just now, weren’t you?”
Kyuhyun grins, and takes the girl’s hands into his.
“Know why I said to not to wish something like that?”
The girlfriend shakes her head, and smiles in confusion. Kyuhyun chuckles, and wraps his arms around her.
“Because you won't be my precious one back then.”
Because Lee Sungmin was there
---