You have outdone yourself this time, you have! This is absolutely amazing. The thing that I love most about this is that it's so real. The truth is that we keep writing fic as if sex with a teammate is something that happens every day but I'm fairly sure that it isn't. And the way Xabi deals with the whole thing in this fic just makes it feel so much more real. I can't even write coherent feedback. There are so many brilliant sentences in this fic that there's no point in pick phrases because I would have to choose the whole fic.
The way we get to follow Xabi's thoughts makes it brilliant as well. Makes it easier to understand him. And poor Luis but he's so, so understanding. He's really sweet and I hope we get a sequel to this that tells us what happens! I don't want Xabi to be all confused and worried for the rest of his life...!
I'm very glad you liked it and that it seemed real, that was the main intention.
Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with writing the characters as comfortable with sex with a teammate. Since it's usually not a first-time fic, we simply can assume that they are comfortable with what they are doing, otherwise they wouldn't do it, right? But since it was Xabi's first time I thought this should be different.
I'm definitely taking a sequel into consideration. I don't want poor Xabi confused for the rest of his life either. *pets him and you* I think muses will come when I'm preparing for the next exams, this is how it has to be! ;)
Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with writing the characters as comfortable with sex with a teammate. Since it's usually not a first-time fic, we simply can assume that they are comfortable with what they are doing, otherwise they wouldn't do it, right?
Oh, definitely. I agree that there's nothing wrong in writing the characters as comfortable with sex, that's how I always write it. The thing that I tried to say was that first-time fics are very rare and this is, by far, the best one I've ever read. Brilliant.
Wow! No, no, 'wow' just doesn't cut it for this piece of genius.
Oh my goodness. Just *is in awe*. I am sitting here staring at the computer screen sniffling like a fool as tears continue to stream down my face.
This was so beautiful and heart wrenching. The characterizations were outstanding, I could feel the 'pain' and anguish Xabi was experiencing. *hugs him*
So many beautiful lines in this story...I would quote a handful of them, but I don't want to ruin your comment page. :D
To cut it short: This was absolutely wonderful and probably one of the best things you've ever written, which is saying a lot given how much I love you and you're writing.
Thank you for making my week after a horrible last night. *hugs you almost to death*
In my humble opinion, this is your best fic to date. You know I love your writing, however, I think with this fic, you have gone to a new height in excellence. There is so much depth in this fic, emotional depth, which really works in terms of making me relate and feel for the character. I mean, I love all the hot exposition (I mean, the sex is just guh!) and the visual imagery (such as Luis' shirt colour and the details about his house), however it is the emotional turmoil which Xabi undergoes that makes me ultimately interested.
I think you have dealt with Xabi's dilemma most excellently, you have't said it, but you've shown how hard it is for him, which is why I think that you have grown so much as a writer over the time that I have been readin your writing. (I do mean this as a compliment, mind you, and this doesn't mean I don't like your other fiction - I do
( ... )
Awww, thank you, my love. Your feedback means a lot to me. *squishes*
I'm glad that the emotions came across like I wanted them to. I've never been a fan of perfect characters, but this time I think it was especially important that there is shown this other side of Xabi, that doubts his actions.
(Thank you again! I know how you mean it. I can see it myself when I read my early fics that there was, thank God, some kind of improvement. I still love my old fics, because I have some emotional relation to them, but from the writing pov those latest ones are definitely better.)
Exactly. I think Xabi would worry an awful lot about it, poor little thing. I would too, I guess.
Thank you again for your feedback, even though I repeat myself now, it means a lot to me. Now have a good night and sleep well, my love.
Comments 55
You have outdone yourself this time, you have! This is absolutely amazing. The thing that I love most about this is that it's so real. The truth is that we keep writing fic as if sex with a teammate is something that happens every day but I'm fairly sure that it isn't. And the way Xabi deals with the whole thing in this fic just makes it feel so much more real.
I can't even write coherent feedback. There are so many brilliant sentences in this fic that there's no point in pick phrases because I would have to choose the whole fic.
The way we get to follow Xabi's thoughts makes it brilliant as well. Makes it easier to understand him. And poor Luis but he's so, so understanding. He's really sweet and I hope we get a sequel to this that tells us what happens! I don't want Xabi to be all confused and worried for the rest of his life...!
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I'm very glad you liked it and that it seemed real, that was the main intention.
Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with writing the characters as comfortable with sex with a teammate. Since it's usually not a first-time fic, we simply can assume that they are comfortable with what they are doing, otherwise they wouldn't do it, right? But since it was Xabi's first time I thought this should be different.
I'm definitely taking a sequel into consideration. I don't want poor Xabi confused for the rest of his life either. *pets him and you* I think muses will come when I'm preparing for the next exams, this is how it has to be! ;)
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Oh, definitely. I agree that there's nothing wrong in writing the characters as comfortable with sex, that's how I always write it. The thing that I tried to say was that first-time fics are very rare and this is, by far, the best one I've ever read. Brilliant.
Sequel is a must. Bring on the exams ;)
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*blushes* Thank you for the nice words! ^_^ You spoil me.
Heee, ok, ok! I might start with a sequel also even without exams coming up. Keep them away from me! Evil beasts. ;)
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Oh my goodness. Just *is in awe*. I am sitting here staring at the computer screen sniffling like a fool as tears continue to stream down my face.
This was so beautiful and heart wrenching. The characterizations were outstanding, I could feel the 'pain' and anguish Xabi was experiencing. *hugs him*
So many beautiful lines in this story...I would quote a handful of them, but I don't want to ruin your comment page. :D
To cut it short: This was absolutely wonderful and probably one of the best things you've ever written, which is saying a lot given how much I love you and you're writing.
Thank you for making my week after a horrible last night. *hugs you almost to death*
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Don't cry, it's not that sad, is it? *squishes you gently and gives you a hankie*
Poor little Xabi, I do feel sorry for him. A lot.
Thank you for the lovely feedback and the compliments, it means a lot since I am rather emotional about this piece myself.
Aw, poor sucky Real Madrid. O_o
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I love your Xabi, he is so cute and you just want to hug and hold him through the night. *sighs*
( ... )
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*loves you*
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In my humble opinion, this is your best fic to date. You know I love your writing, however, I think with this fic, you have gone to a new height in excellence. There is so much depth in this fic, emotional depth, which really works in terms of making me relate and feel for the character. I mean, I love all the hot exposition (I mean, the sex is just guh!) and the visual imagery (such as Luis' shirt colour and the details about his house), however it is the emotional turmoil which Xabi undergoes that makes me ultimately interested.
I think you have dealt with Xabi's dilemma most excellently, you have't said it, but you've shown how hard it is for him, which is why I think that you have grown so much as a writer over the time that I have been readin your writing. (I do mean this as a compliment, mind you, and this doesn't mean I don't like your other fiction - I do ( ... )
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*stumbles off to bed*
*smooches*
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I'm glad that the emotions came across like I wanted them to. I've never been a fan of perfect characters, but this time I think it was especially important that there is shown this other side of Xabi, that doubts his actions.
(Thank you again! I know how you mean it. I can see it myself when I read my early fics that there was, thank God, some kind of improvement. I still love my old fics, because I have some emotional relation to them, but from the writing pov those latest ones are definitely better.)
Exactly. I think Xabi would worry an awful lot about it, poor little thing. I would too, I guess.
Thank you again for your feedback, even though I repeat myself now, it means a lot to me. Now have a good night and sleep well, my love.
*kisses you good night*
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Your writing style is perfect, the story has grabed me and I can't stop reading and re-reading... This fic makes the things so real...*adores*
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And I'm also very glad that the emotions came across well. *cheers*
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