WROTE STUFF!!!

[benchilada]

    So, I kinda revised the last bit of the SERGE, MIKE, AND MOON TURK story/novel that I was working on.

Please to reread, with the new second half.  I just wrote it and haven't reread/edited any of it, so please excuse me if it smells like I just pulled it outta my ass. 
    Cause I did.

You remember, it was the part that started with this

Comments

[benchilada]

Already fixed, monkeykisser.

[benchilada]

Yeah, that was a fuck up that I'm going to claim was done on purpose, because in the S-M-MT world, England -- or, Ingerlund -- is now Columbia.

And they grow coffee.

Ah, fuck.
Grrr. Perhaps this mood will pass and I'll actually like this story. Perhaps not. I really need this character for the book, but I don't want to piss all over him before he's even fully developed.

You should go back and read the story -- not too long ago, check my archives -- that warns not to read it if you're offended by anything. I figure you'd enjoy it. Only one page, even...

[wagemage]

There's one thing I always enjoy from your stories - you can make it seem not only as if the world is populated with black-market ninja assassins, national phallus-worship orgy days, and corporate atomic death robots, but make me feel that somehow, it's always been this way, and that I should have known this all along but somehow missed it.

[benchilada]

That's one of the best compliments I've gotten in ages. Thanks, D.

[wagemage]

Thanks, D.

Um, I believe you have me confused with somebody else.

[benchilada]

That was supposed to be an A.
I was about to fall asleep at the computer.
:P

[draggonlaady]

"doing that thing to my head where my brains come out the back." my god, that's beautiful wording. no, i really can't explain why it sits so well with me, but i love it.

and minor point... should "first" in the sentence “Haven’t done this in a while,” I mumbled as I thrust my left first forward and punched" be "fist"?

[benchilada]

Yay, I'm glad you like that, I think it's my favorite sentence I've written in a while.

And I'll kill that typo like Johnson killed Kennedy.

[pensylvania_joe]

It's taken me a while to read this... but I have.. and I liked it.

I think what I like most about these stories of yours is the way little things seem so important. I mean, he's a death ninja... who the fuck cares about coffee? He does. and that's beautiful.

It gives the characters some more depth, some more existence. I love that the chip makes him unable to make good coffee. Actually, I like that best of all... it's not that he can't make coffee anymore... just that it'll always be BAD coffee. Awesome.