New Serge Installment

[benchilada]

The Saga of Serge continues...

Part One is Here

Part Two is Here

...hope you're ready...

Comments

[pensylvania_joe]

I love the gritty feel of it all. Dig the world you're setting up.

But what's the story?

[benchilada]

Tune in next installment.
Oddly, I have to say that I don't always give a shit about story when I'm reading things, and more so when I'm writing.

In a nutshell, I've little fucking idea. I'll get back to you.

But I made my little self-referential "Sushi Bastard" bit. Made me laugh. At myself.

[pensylvania_joe]

Sushi bastard made me laugh too.

[benchilada]

Sushi Bastard was actually one of my favorite stories to date...

I like Serge

[cleanskies]

and not just because he knows the value of a good pair of shoes

Re: I like Serge

[benchilada]

C'mon, artist! Gimme something meaty, something I can work with!

[scud_o]

Magnificent! Stupendous! Fantasmagoric!

My only suggestion (not that you asked for any, but I was an English/Rhetoric major, and I am compulsed to give advice):

Take out "Ah, but did you know that spells out SLUTBAG?”

I figured it spelled out something and was about to reward my cleverness by checking out the phone when you went and told me what it spelled. Make me work a little, instead fo spoon-feeding me all this genius of yours. I feel like you're the legless guy making with the beautiful art and not letting me pay for it.

I like the hard air gun. I had a Marvel Super Heroes Roleplaying Game character that used a hard air rifle back in the day...

[benchilada]

Yeah, good call on what the number spells out.
I'll actually go back and edit the post to remove that.

I've always loved the idea of a gun that punches somebody...

sqrats?

[assclouds]

Re: sqrats?

[benchilada]

Squirrel Rats.
Imagine it.
Cross a quad squirrel with a NY subway rat, that's what I'm picturing...

Re: sqrats?

[benchilada]

Actually, now my little sister (by little, I mean 18), says she thought squid x rat, which is actually a much better idea.

also

[assclouds]

The Thompson-meets-Stephenson pace of this is kinda weirding me out. I keep expecting someone to call Serge a scurvy sheister bastard.

Re: also

[benchilada]

Thompson?
And the pacing is supposed to be like this right now.
I think...

Re: also

[assclouds]

Hunter S.

As in: over the top characters and personalities that no one seems to notice. Scurvy sheister bastard!

Re: also

[benchilada]

Well, if EVERYBODY is mad...