All I can think of now is Klaus Kinski in that tiny, Zap Brannigan uniform made of leather instead of velour, climbing the ladder with that other fellow underneath, looking up his skirt, and the MST3K robots groaning in horror.
I would seriously undertake writing Housewives of Gor (children - that's another thing eerily absent from that planet - maybe they're all fed to the Preist-Kings?), but I really don't want to re-read any of those books to get the style even remotely close. I would have to spend another decade breaking myself of the bad writing habits I'd have to learn to do a proper parody.
Are you trying to corrupt me into not only writing fanfic, but starting with Fanfic of Gor??? Oh, Evil Temptress, I curse at thee!
I think I'd have to have 2 or 5 flame deaths (it's a drink I "invented" at a Balticon many decades ago, consisting of grain alcohol and blue) before I could properly write such a thing.
it makes sense, in a deeply-twisted waybellatrysJuly 25 2007, 12:53:10 UTC
even though you have to go far down the rabbithole to work it out, but--
Women are Supposed to be Sweet, Gentle, and Submissive. Men, OTOH, are supposed to be Dominating and Hard and Ruthless.
When these things get switched out, the Natural Order of the Universe is overthrown, and it's just gross, as gross as some guy dressing up as a woman, see?
Yes, but if we lure him up herebellatrysJuly 24 2007, 19:08:18 UTC
the odds of him falling foul of an enraged moose are much higher. (Somehow I don't think tasing a moose will do very much besides make it angrier.)
Yes, yes, I know, he won't go off into the wilderness to hunt bears barehanded or anything, he'll just stay down south in civilization and join the other Free Staters in griping about how wrong it is that there's no Magical Snowplow Fairy that just shows up and makes it possible to live in northern New England in the winter without organized society and [gasp] the taxpayer-supported budget to pay for it all...I mean, it's the Magical Paving Fairy that's out there tearing up the roads right now, isn't it?
Re: Yes, but if we lure him up herearchangelbethJuly 24 2007, 19:51:25 UTC
*eyes the end of the street* Actually, I think it is the Road Destruction crew, who are -- in the unfathomable modalities of the same -- digging ruts across 6th street, up by Liberty Mutual.
The spouse thinks they're putting in drainage.
Ahem. Sorry. The Paving Fairies have been far too close to home recently. I suppose, though, that since there are wild turkeys even around my house, there might be some moose, and we're only an hour up from Boston. There must be some way to lure moose... So perhaps there'd be the option for enraged ones. (Which would be better than him running an SUV into one. The poor moose.)
They're around - I've seen 'em!FbellatrysJuly 24 2007, 20:18:49 UTC
For over a decade I thought the "urban moose" were an urban myth that the media made up as a prank to amuse themselves on slow news days. But then I saw two with my very eyes in our Manchester neighborhood, so now I'm a believer.
If one wandered through his yard, and then plonked itself down there for a snooze (as I saw one do), he might actually think that kicking it manfully inna head or whacking it masterfully about the ears with a stick would show it who's the boss....
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*stops, draws breath*
--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggh, why.
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I would seriously undertake writing Housewives of Gor (children - that's another thing eerily absent from that planet - maybe they're all fed to the Preist-Kings?), but I really don't want to re-read any of those books to get the style even remotely close. I would have to spend another decade breaking myself of the bad writing habits I'd have to learn to do a proper parody.
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I think I'd have to have 2 or 5 flame deaths (it's a drink I "invented" at a Balticon many decades ago, consisting of grain alcohol and blue) before I could properly write such a thing.
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Besides, I already put Bimbiras into GURPS IOU. And Kajones. So it's someone else's turn... *shiftyeyes*
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I haven't been following all that closely, but... at this point, my brain entered an infinite pot -> kettle -> black loop and seized up.
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Women are Supposed to be Sweet, Gentle, and Submissive. Men, OTOH, are supposed to be Dominating and Hard and Ruthless.
When these things get switched out, the Natural Order of the Universe is overthrown, and it's just gross, as gross as some guy dressing up as a woman, see?
Harvey Mansfield can explain it all to you...
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Noooooooo! Please, I beg you! Don't let him in the same state I'm in! New York's already too close...
Also, Pern/Gor parody fic would make my little black heart go pitty-pat.
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Yes, yes, I know, he won't go off into the wilderness to hunt bears barehanded or anything, he'll just stay down south in civilization and join the other Free Staters in griping about how wrong it is that there's no Magical Snowplow Fairy that just shows up and makes it possible to live in northern New England in the winter without organized society and [gasp] the taxpayer-supported budget to pay for it all...I mean, it's the Magical Paving Fairy that's out there tearing up the roads right now, isn't it?
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The spouse thinks they're putting in drainage.
Ahem. Sorry. The Paving Fairies have been far too close to home recently. I suppose, though, that since there are wild turkeys even around my house, there might be some moose, and we're only an hour up from Boston. There must be some way to lure moose... So perhaps there'd be the option for enraged ones. (Which would be better than him running an SUV into one. The poor moose.)
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If one wandered through his yard, and then plonked itself down there for a snooze (as I saw one do), he might actually think that kicking it manfully inna head or whacking it masterfully about the ears with a stick would show it who's the boss....
Hey, it works on the velociraptors!
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