A kindly stranger attempts to connect over transness and I fail utterly to respond

[belenen]

icon: "eccentric (a photo of me tilting my head and with raised eyebrows and a pursed-lipped smile)"The other day I was waiting in line at a store when a stranger attempted to strike up a conversation with me

Comments

[topaznebula]

god I relate to this so hard. The way you described the feeling of "extreme overwhelm, as if lights were flashing and sirens were going off and I was being pulled in one direction and pushed in another"... that's how I feel SO OFTEN when people talk to me unexpectedly. It even happens for people I know, but especially for strangers or light acquaintances. My brain goes into a panic that isn't conscious or logical, it just happens, then my brain and my body don't know how to react, and I end up saying something useless or less meaningful than I would have said given a few seconds to actually think about my response first

[banana_galaxy]

I'm not trans, but if I'd been in a similar situation, this is likely how I'd have reacted too because I'm autistic. I totally get the desire to help. It's why I tend to just share resources online because you never know who might need them)come across them.

[rayaso]

I enjoyed reading this and thinking about the many issues it raises. It is impossible to be perfect and always respond to situations in a perfect way. You are so helpful, but you can't always be "on." That's too great a burden.

[alycewilson]

If it helps, there's another way to read this. The stranger who reached out to you and volunteered that information was just trying to share that they were an ally. It may have been important for them to say that to you, because they think it's important to be supportive of the trans community, especially since they have such a personal connection to it.

But I think it's really cool that you are planning out in your head what you can say the next time someone approaches you with a similar remark; how you can support them. That shows what a kind and caring person you are.

[halfshellvenus]

I like this possibility as well! Maybe this was a person who guessed what the symbol meant and was trying to connect with you.

But either way, I can understand the feeling of being overwhelmed by an interaction you never expected to have, especially in that neural-overload environment.

Having materials ahead of time is a great way to cope with and take advantage of a situation like that, should it happen again.

[karmasoup]

I'm actually quite impressed (and grateful) you were able to offer what you managed, I think that was very kind that you could engage at all, and you clearly didn't make that parent feel awkward, so well done. I love the idea of the ready made details of info - perhaps you could put them on blank business cards ready to pass out. Thanks for sharing this.

[marlawentmad]

It is difficult to navigate how "on" and engaged to be when you are just trying to get through a day. Your willingness and hope to be a resource is admirable, but remember to be easy on yourself and take breaks whenever you need them.