why it's fatphobic to congratulate someone on size loss

[belenen]

icon: "bodylove -- me (nude)" (my nude torso showing my large belly and breasts, with a lacy fractal overlay across me)a question asked of me anonymously via sarahah: "Is it, or under what circumstances is it, fatphobic to congratulate someone on weight loss

Comments

[verdande_mi]

Very well said. It drives me nuts when people just barge on with their comments about the weight of other people, lost, gained, stable, as if is there business. I am getting better at setting a stop on this when it is aimed at me or people close to me.

[thatunicornfizz]

This is so well said, thank you.

[bunnicula38]

I agree with you. Body changes should not be commented on to others unless they bring it up themselves. For all one knows, someone could have lost a lot of weight because of cancer or stress. Not everyone who loses weight does so for vanity or health reasons. Also those people may think, "What? What's the deal? People didn't think I looked attractive before? " They will wonder why all of a sudden they are being treated better. So I choose to wait until they bring up the weight loss and their reasons for losing it.

Another consideration: people could very well gain the weight back and they don't need reminders about how differently and more positively they were treated when they were thin.

The same goes with pregnant women. There are women I meet who are clearly pregnant but, unless I see that baby pop out of them, I am not saying a word. I wait for the lady to talk about the upcoming birth before congratulating her.

[xbunnyy]

I agree with this. Very well put

[browncouch]

My boss has asked me on multiple occasions if I lost weight. I just said, "No." If it happens again I'll try to point out that it's not appropriate. I feel decently comfortable in my body, I don't need anyone's comments. She also mentions my hair every time we meet, because it's always changing in style and color. Yes, I like fashion and put time into how I look, but it would be cool if she maybe just kept her comments work or skill related. One time, while my mother was on her deathbed, my dad told me I would look good if I lost weight. Fun times.