bad actions =/= bad person. absence of effort to reduce harm one causes/benefits from = bad person

[belenen]

icon: "healing (a photo of me and Hannah curled up together, naked, with Hannah's head resting on my legs and my arms around/over them. it's colored in violet with a fractal overlay of purple, blue, and green.)"
I've said much of this before, but I am going to try to make it more specific and plain-spoken

Comments

[sidheblessed]

I completely agree! I find I'm fairly forgiving, as long as the person involved genuinely apologises and makes a sincere effort to reduce harmful behaviour. It's lack of remorse and lack of effort that I find unforgivable.

[belenen]

*nodnod* yes! lack of effort gets to me so strongly.

[ragnarok_08]

I agree so much!

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that :(

[belenen]

thank you

[thatunicornfizz]

Thank you for this interesting post. I know for me, I am generally very forgiving and patient so long as I know a person is committed to change and I try to extend that same patience and compassion to myself.

[belenen]

*nods* yes! I am a surprisingly patient person, really. (surprising because I am so eager and forceful, also)

[thatunicornfizz]

Yes, I (Tristan, for the record!) tend to be both very patient and very forceful, depending on the situation / topic / person, so I think I understand a bit what you mean.

[re_vised]

I love this post! You succinctly said what I feel on a day-to-day level. While I might not always succeed, I am trying to be the best me I can be and actively work to change the things about myself I dislike or need to work on. Currently, my hinging on depression isn't helping some of the things I need to work on...but I suppose working through depression is enough on its own! Oy.

For a long time, I have enjoyed diving into self-reflection discussions with other people. Having a trustworthy friend give me insights on my behavior is so insightful and I appreciate their ability to be frank (I do enjoy bluntness, as long as it isn't mean spirited) and honest with me.

[belenen]

*nods* working through depression is indeed enough on its own! Gotta be safe within yourself before you can effectively help others much.

I also value people giving me perspective on myself, so much! there is much I'd never realize without help.

[belenen]

*nods* that is all anyone can do!