poll: do you read the comments before, after, or neither?

[belenen]

icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"I realized just now that I usually do not read other people's comments before leaving my own, because I do not want to sway my response -- yet I often do read the comments before adding mine in places that aren't LJ. So I want to

Comments

[call_me_katya]

On FB I would always read the comments, because often many-commented posts on FB are questions, and I read to see if someone has already provided the answer. Or many-commented posts can be an argument, so I read to see who has said what, and what stage the conversation is at before I interject, if I decide to do so.

On LJ there is less cross-communication. Most people reply directly to the poster, not each other so I don't have to read the posts. Most answers are also opinions, rather than official answers to questions so I don't have to worry if someone has already 'answered'. But if someone has asked a really interesting opinion-question of their readers, I might read to see what the answers are, or how someone has interpreted a post/question if I'm confused by it/not sure how to reply. Like daphnep above [see? I read them this time!], if someone has a history of having a deep-thinking, full-answering friendslist then I might look at theirs. Usually these people have the most involved posts that inspire me to answer anyway, so the

[belenen]

*nods along* I have a very similar habit. If I'm especially interested in the topic then after I comment I will skim the responses and read any that are more than a sentence. Sometimes this results in a second comment, as I realize there is more I want to react to, or if I get pissed off by a comment or a theme of comments.

[ragnarok_08]

I definitely take the time to read comments on LJ and on Facebook, but I comment only when I feel that I have something to contribute.

[belenen]

huh, interesting. So you tend to do a lot more reading than most people, I would guess?

[ragnarok_08]

That sounds about right.

[webgirluk]

I see LJ as sort of like an online forum, where someone begins a conversation and others reply and often enjoy reading the comments but how I read them varies, really. Sometimes I read before, other times after. Or I might just skim comments and read a couple. I love to be involved with the *who is who* community aspect and I think as well, I'm more likely to read conversations where we have mutuals, the person has a strong sense of LJ community interest or the topic fits with a key subject I enjoy reading about.

I am most likely to comment if ...

1. I really enjoy the subject of conversation.
2. If the person is going through a key life moment like new job, new partner or a close relative died. I try and do this for everyone on my page, even if we don't speak, really on here.
3. They're someone I know well away from the journals.
4. They're someone I consider a friend here and want to invest in, even if our contact is through LJ only.
5. We have mutual friends *more so I think on facebook*

Great poll ;-)

[belenen]

I love to be involved with the *who is who* community aspect and I think as well, I'm more likely to read conversations where we have mutuals, the person has a strong sense of LJ community interest or the topic fits with a key subject I enjoy reading about.

Me too!

thanks for your answer :D

[song_of_copper]

Other factors influencing likelihood of commenting

[belenen]

Interesting! thank you for sharing :D

What aspects make someone's conversational style feel aggressive to you?

[song_of_copper]

"What aspects make someone's conversational style feel aggressive to you?"

Usually it’s obvious things: people who get into avoidable, unnecessary arguments via comments, people pre-silencing a perfectly harmless opinion they don’t want to hear (“Anyone who says XYZ is a [insult goes here]”).

(This is different from saying “I disagree with XYZ”. It’s also different from getting tough with someone who’s crossed a line. And it’s different from setting necessary boundaries. It’s more like… indulging in conflict, enjoying getting negative reactions, having nil empathy.)

Sometimes it’s more subtle - you just get the feeling before you even say anything that you will have to defend yourself. :-/

Mostly I would not stay ‘friends’ with such a person - there would have to be some very good reason for wanting to read what they write. Lately I’m less tolerant of that stuff.

[zimtkeks]

I'm with you in that I want to write an answer that isn't influenced by other comments here; but they might be interesting to read later. One difference between LJ and places like FB could be that LJ is often way more personal.

[belenen]

It is, often, and it doesn't feel public even on a public journal because LJ doesn't curate for you like facebook does. On LJ, if you say something in a comment, mutual friends are not likely to see it unless they make a special point to read the comments. On FB, if you comment on a friend's post, someone who is friends with both of you is VERY likely to see that pop up in their feed. It feels very different because of this.