Comments | belenen: A comic that made me realize something profound: say thank you, not sorry

belenen

A comic that made me realize something profound: say thank you, not sorry

Apr 03, 2016 15:26

icon: "Ma'at (a photo of one side of a brass balance scale, with a feather inside the bowl. The background is sky blue. On the bottom of the image, below the photo, is the word "Ma'at")"
( image and description under cut because the image is VERY LARGE )

linkage, lovetech, graphics with descriptions

Comments 17

kehlen April 4 2016, 16:04:31 UTC

This is a very good idea (and I will apply it in some situations), but I don't 100% like the take that people want to say things in the left column. Those with low self-esteem genuinely think those on the right.

So I think it's preferable to make a game out of it. (Well, what I call games in this case is gradually changing a mode of behaviour without "committing" to the new mode too fast. Thus, the "game": play at it until you are comfortable with it.) The game is "what if I replaced the 'sorries' with the 'thank yous'"? - followed by the same graphics in reverse order.

belenen April 4 2016, 23:36:41 UTC

That's very true, but I don't think that they are mutually exclusive. For me, I both feel guilty about being a burden and also (with my more logical mature self) grateful that they are willing and able to be there for me.

Yes, I like your framing better! It does help to ask "what if?"

rotating April 4 2016, 22:14:27 UTC

i saw this floating around the internet too and it really struck a chord with me! i now consciously try to do this whenever possible.

belenen April 4 2016, 23:37:23 UTC

ditto! I was distressed that something so useful wasn't accessible, so I wrote an image description when I re-posted it.

seifaiden April 5 2016, 13:44:40 UTC

I feel like I don't exactly understand the final panel: are they referring to existing not being wrong? I'm reading it as saying that you're not wrong for apologizing for existing, which contradicts the first part.

In many of these cases, I would use an apology instead of thanking someone because I don't actually know what the other person is thinking - maybe they really do think I'm a drag but are being polite. It feels presumptive to me to thank people for things if I'm not actually sure that's what they're thinking/what their actions meant.

I always feel like a contrarian! But the concept is good.

call_me_katya April 12 2016, 22:40:03 UTC

I'm pretty sure it means "Don't apologise for simply existing. Existing is not wrong."

medesign April 10 2016, 05:56:41 UTC

Seen this before but its true, hard to get you head in that mind space all the time but good thing to think about.

re_vised April 13 2016, 02:32:51 UTC

LOVE THIS.