dear friend: please reconsider your use of that slur

[belenen]

icon: "honesty (me, outdoors, gazing straight at the camera with a solemn expression)"
If I gave you this link, please understand that it was motivated by affection and/or respect. I have this conversation over and over, and it takes a lot out of me, so I needed to create a less energy-intense way to communicate about it. If I didn't respect you

Comments

[meteorology]

I was googling why "ermahgerd" is a slur and I found this page (it has a trigger warning for the whole blog, by the way) which coincidentally explains "duh" as well.

http://fuckingrapeculture.tumblr.com/post/63467683259/ableist-language

[zimtkeks]

I think that's because it's used to show that someone is lacking intelligence.

[meteorology]

I didn't know that some of these could be considered slurs, so thank you for prompting me to Google!

[belenen]

welks! it's often difficult to pick them out of the sea of slang.

[mac_arthur_park]

Thank you for the reminder. I still struggle with remembering not to use crazy or insane when they're not contextually appropriate.

I need to find better words to describe my neighbors and current work situation, because those are ALWAYS the ones that spring to my lips. Any suggestions?

[kehlen]

I keep thinking about it, and the only thing that I came up with so far are animal kingdom comparisons. Like, laughing like a hyena or having amoeba brain.

Those are unfair to the animals though and use assumptions about them instead.

[belenen]

my go-to words tend to be ridiculous (often shortened to 'ridic' because that has a much sharper sound) and terrible. If I'm looking for something more caustic I'll make up words like shitspewer or vomitburger, or refer to rot -- I particularly like the word putrescent.

Mostly though, I aim to use words and phrases that are very clear and precise, thus: Trump is an evil, calculating, profoundly malicious faineant that the most spoiled toddler would consider immature and malaria would consider unnecessarily intrusive.

[raidingparty]

Unpredictable, ill-considered, inconsiderate, manic, unbelievable, hateful, self-centered... it depends on context.

[pallid_regina]

I'm one of the people at whom this post is aimed, fair enough, and I'm going to just thank you for giving me the out. I have trouble keeping up with your level of posting, although I do find what I'm able to keep up with engaging, and that's always a challenge for me

:(

[brujah]

I want to read you, but I don't want to offend you or trigger you in any way.

I use some of these frequently -- as for an instance, I call my husband a whore/slut all the time in my journal. It's a personal story and has depth and meaning to us, but I can see how my casual use of it would be an issue for you. I've enjoyed reading your words and had looked forward to continuing, but for your own well-being, I don't think I'm a good fit and that's a shame.

Re: :(

[belenen]

Those words don't bother me when they are reclaimed and someone has the permission of the one they're calling, but unless your partner is a sex worker, whore couldn't be reclaimed in this way, so that one is likely to bother me a lot.

I'm sorry to feel this way but I know from many tries that it will get to me even if I try to block it out. If you want to continue reading you are welcome (my lj is 95% public) but if not I totally understand.

Re: :(

[brujah]

I'd never, in a million years, use any of these things as a response to something you've written. I just meant I'm not likely to be as careful, or aware, in my own journal. I'm for giving it a go, if you are. I just needed to be completely honest with you from the get-go, so I didn't upset or offend you

Re: :(

[belenen]

I feel you, and I appreciate you explaining and expressing these things. I'm glad you were willing to make that effort <3 I'd like to give it a go.