you can only measure emotional selfishness in bad times / racism is a system, bigotry is an attitude

[belenen]

icon: "voltaic (photo of me with rainbow reflections on my face, leaning my head at a sharp angle and staring intently at the camera)"I can't bear selfishness, especially when it kills empathy. If you can't care about someone else's feelings when you are angry at them or hurt by them, what good is your love? NONE. it is USELESS. And I know that

Comments

[lilywolfsolomon]

I have wondered whether there are some particular situations even in the US where white people may suffer racism by the power plus oppression definition. Because a lot of people live in pockets where they don't get out of their small communities, and if those communities and those communities happen to be non-white. They would be rare, but I wonder if those situations exist and what they would look like.

It's the hard times that put our love to the test, the times when we're most resistant to loving. To love and be loved through these times of hurt and difficulty is a beautiful gift.

[belenen]

only if those communities had their own laws and media and were not subject to or exposed to national laws/media. otherwise it would still be just marginalization. This country was literally built with white supremacy and it is in everything.

Usually what happens when whites are the minority in the US is that they are still the oppressors, given all the best jobs. Look at Baltimore. There was some kind of federal contract hiring used as an example, can't remember specifics, but the data shouldn't be too hard to find if you're curious.

[zimtkeks]

These are interesting thoughts.

What about people who have issues that cause them to say or do the wrong thing in tough situations, i.e. cannot show their love when they have been hurt? Would you say they aren't capable of truly loving someone?

And while many political systems are racist, I'm not sure that makes people living within the system racists. Isn't a racist someone who supports racism, whether deliberately or not?

[belenen]

people with disabilities may need accommodation, but everyone is capable of learning to not attack people. Calling people names and saying hurtful things is learned behavior and can be unlearned. An example of accommodation would be when I was dating someone who did not have very much ability to control their emotions and remember coping skills in the moment. So after we discussed the problem, as an accommodation, I would not take it personally when they got very upset and started attacking but would instead remind them to take some time to reflect and calm down before discussing it with me. For their part, they agreed to actually take that time when reminded. In this way, they were able to avoid hurting me with saying impulsively horrible things

[zimtkeks]

With this explanation, I'd agree with your point on the first topic.
By the way, I think it says a lot for both of you that you were able to reach this consensus and act accordingly.

I see what you mean about racism, and of course I can't judge how it is in the US. I'll just trust you there.
Here in Germany we have a large Turkish community, and it is considered important to know Turkish/Muslim culture to some degree, e.g. our school's calendar shows the beginning and end of Ramadan etc. So while there certainly is racism in Germany, I would not say that the oppressed culture is considered "not important".

[theindiequeen]

That was such a good, clear way to explain why reverse racism isn't a thing. Every time I try to explain it, my words get all jumbled up, and it's not very clear. I think because most of the things I've read explaining this before go into a lot of detail and are pretty lengthy, which is great, but thanks for summing it up in such a succinct way!

[toll_booth]

My not having to think about my white privilege IS white privilege. It took me years to get that.