Wow, so many things you talk about here really resonate with me, and this is yet another :) I make a lot of eye contact with people but sometimes I feel that it's making them uncomfortable and look away for their sakes - cos some people aren't so happy with it. I'm really intrigued by what you say about emotional intensity and spirit connections and will have to think about those things when I'm talking to people because I have a feeling it might well ring true for me too. Also, I'm jealous of your cuddle parties and meditations! I haven't come across such things in Belfast ;)
I honestly think eye contact is one of the reasons I get accused of being "intimidating." I think eye contact is important, and I try my best to demonstrate my respect for a speaker by maintaining it while they talk. But I also hold a person's gaze when I'm speaking intensely about a subject, and I think it makes people nervous. There's a lot to that old saying about the eyes being the windows to the soul, and I think that in certain situations, people can handle it because it makes them feel like their soul is standing naked in front of the person they're speaking to. But I think we've established that that isn't a general problem with you anyway. :-P
Honestly, eye contact makes me extremely uncomfortable, even with people that I am usually comfortable around. I hate the intense vulnerability I feel with it, I suppose.
I know people probably think I'm rude as a result, but it honestly terrifies me most times. I'm not sure if it's something I can ever be comfortable with. I guess I'm weird that way.
I don't maintain eye contact for long but I make sure to do it as much as I can in a conversation. It makes me very nervous, not because of the other person, but because I constantly need to know what's going on around me. I am VERY uncomfortable not knowing who else is around me and I scan the room. A lot. It's a self defense thing, especially in situations where I'm already feeling uncomfortable. If I'm comfortable where i am it becomes less important so I'll make more eye contact with the person I'm talking to. I also will make eye contact with people walking towards me if I am walking alone on the street, particularly not-very-busy streets. Again, self defense.
If it's a one-to-one conversation and you're talking, I'm looking at your mouth. One too many front row seats at festivals, and great gaping holes in my eardrums mean I don't hear speaking-voices as well as other folk, so lipreading often makes the difference between my understanding you or not. Personal pet peeve is folk who don't enunciate or who talk from behind a hand. :D
If it's a one-to-one conversation and I'm talking? I look away to compose thoughts or to get through a mental tangle to phrase something just right; I look back to make sure you haven't checked out and to shift topic if you have.
Walking down a street full of strangers, it's head up and aware, eye contact with everyone who'll pass within reach of me, a nod, murmured greeting, keep moving. "I do see you, you are a person, so am I, don't mess with me."
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I know people probably think I'm rude as a result, but it honestly terrifies me most times. I'm not sure if it's something I can ever be comfortable with. I guess I'm weird that way.
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Hm...never thought about it before. lol.
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If it's a one-to-one conversation and I'm talking? I look away to compose thoughts or to get through a mental tangle to phrase something just right; I look back to make sure you haven't checked out and to shift topic if you have.
Walking down a street full of strangers, it's head up and aware, eye contact with everyone who'll pass within reach of me, a nod, murmured greeting, keep moving. "I do see you, you are a person, so am I, don't mess with me."
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