Isn't it amazing how much we change/grow from our early twenties to our late twenties? It blows my mind.
I find that those who wait for marriage tend to marry young. It's kinda ironic. Young couples think they are doing the responsible thing when in reality getting married so young is not entirely the most practical thing. It seems you guys were following your hearts at the time, which in my opinion is always the right thing to do. :)
I've spent most of my twenties single and I loved every part of it. It was everything you've described... wild, free, and alone. I don't mind being alone. I also don't mind being with someone as long as I can keep the wild and free part. And that's hard to find. ;)
Nothing truly suits *everyone*. Poly, monogamy, being partnered or not...
In a sense, your ideal is pretty close to mine. I prefer a group marriage of sorts, with everyone open and honest and comfortable with each other. But... I don't consider any partnership to be permanent. People change too much for a lifetime together with most to be a completely positive thing. Even now, I may not post much about it, but one of my relationships may be ending even as another is beginning.
Have you ever found the people drawn into your life seem to be there to learn, even as you learn from them? That's how it has gone for me, for a lifetime... And when the lessons learned are done, most move on. So I see the people around me growing, and I'm happy for it, although there's always a little twinge of sadness at knowing eventually they'll have gone as far as I can take them and move on. But, in the end, I can't bring myself to regret it.
i totally understand where you are coming from with this. if you guys are no longer on the same "page" and "path" in your journey, it may be best to end the partnership. it sounds like he is doing a lot of what billy is doing... (putting what his family would say or think over his own feelings and beliefs) it is still very different, but so very simliar. i'm happy he is willing to open and honest with you about his feelings. i think that's an amazing thing he is doing that with you... good luck on this journey. ♥
I deeply admire your call to be who you really are, whatever that may entail. I think it often happens that people sacrifice parts of themselves, parts that shouldn't be eclipsed, for a relationship... and it just ends up breeding a lot of resentment and heartache down the road. What you're doing is honest and good, and I admire that so much.
It's interesting to hear your thoughts about partnership and what it should entail, what it does and doesn't mean for you, and your vision of your ideal future for yourself. I'm grateful that you've shared these thoughts because I feel like I've learned something really important about you.
Also, I do think some people are just monogamous and I've never considered that a question, myself. Nor have I considered it a question that some people are just polyamorous. Sexuality is so complex and fluid that I can't imagine that monogamy wouldn't be one of the countless lifestyles that's just right for some people.
I'm hoping for happiness for everyone involved. <3
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I find that those who wait for marriage tend to marry young. It's kinda ironic. Young couples think they are doing the responsible thing when in reality getting married so young is not entirely the most practical thing. It seems you guys were following your hearts at the time, which in my opinion is always the right thing to do. :)
I've spent most of my twenties single and I loved every part of it. It was everything you've described... wild, free, and alone. I don't mind being alone. I also don't mind being with someone as long as I can keep the wild and free part. And that's hard to find. ;)
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In a sense, your ideal is pretty close to mine. I prefer a group marriage of sorts, with everyone open and honest and comfortable with each other. But... I don't consider any partnership to be permanent. People change too much for a lifetime together with most to be a completely positive thing. Even now, I may not post much about it, but one of my relationships may be ending even as another is beginning.
Have you ever found the people drawn into your life seem to be there to learn, even as you learn from them? That's how it has gone for me, for a lifetime... And when the lessons learned are done, most move on. So I see the people around me growing, and I'm happy for it, although there's always a little twinge of sadness at knowing eventually they'll have gone as far as I can take them and move on. But, in the end, I can't bring myself to regret it.
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i totally understand where you are coming from with this. if you guys are no longer on the same "page" and "path" in your journey, it may be best to end the partnership. it sounds like he is doing a lot of what billy is doing... (putting what his family would say or think over his own feelings and beliefs) it is still very different, but so very simliar. i'm happy he is willing to open and honest with you about his feelings. i think that's an amazing thing he is doing that with you... good luck on this journey. ♥
Reply
It's interesting to hear your thoughts about partnership and what it should entail, what it does and doesn't mean for you, and your vision of your ideal future for yourself. I'm grateful that you've shared these thoughts because I feel like I've learned something really important about you.
Also, I do think some people are just monogamous and I've never considered that a question, myself. Nor have I considered it a question that some people are just polyamorous. Sexuality is so complex and fluid that I can't imagine that monogamy wouldn't be one of the countless lifestyles that's just right for some people.
I'm hoping for happiness for everyone involved. <3
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Bel, I love the way you describe a partnership.
I wish you all peace in what you all decide.
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