When I was 13, I was so scared of starting over at a new school. While I'd disliked my previous classmates (most of them were bullies or only kept to their elite cliques), I was terrified of change. It turned out mostly okay, though.
When I was 14, I listened to a lot of "dark" music and had a very bleak outlook on life.
When I was 15, I started thinking of H as more than a friend, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'd never felt so loved. And I believed with all my heart that he was my soulmate, and we fondly called each other imzadi.
When I was 16, I remember that my birthday was spectacular - my friends Linnéa and Tina made a really big deal out of it, and I spent a full day of school tied to at least 10 festive balloons. And I didn't mind. :)
When I was 17, I somehow had a good year. I don't remember anything from it, but I'll always remember it as good. (And in my own mind, I'll always think of myself as 17.)
When I was 18, I loved my academic life. I had great teachers, and great classmates and friends. <3 Life was FUN
( ... )
17: 1986. I started hanging out with the 'metal heads'. They weren't afraid to do their own thing even though people judged them. This is when I first started seeing how judgmental people were. [I'd end up hanging out with unfavorable types in California during my early 20s: drug dealers, prostitutes, etc.] I found myself a group of outcasts called The Brew Crew. We hung out in a van drinking beer. Frank was Missy's brother and he drove the van because he was older. They didn't have parents. Their house was a slum and a mess but we could do whatever we wanted there. It scared me but excited me at the same time. There was graffiti spray painted all over the walls and a grim reaper too. I always dumped out my beer and pretended to drink it and be drunk to fit in
( ... )
In November, I was 17 then because my birthday is in October, I had sex for the first time because my boyfriend, a French and Portuguese guy named Antonio [Tony] Martins said that if I didn't he would go find someone else to be with. I believed we were going to be together forever and this is when I started overcompensating for the men I was with. He stood me up all the time. I cried so much over him
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18: 1987. I ended up finishing the second half of 11th grade and all of 12th grade in an all girl Catholic school. I graduated in May 1987. My father hated me being around boys and that made me do it even more. My parents switched me to a lot of schools not because I was kicked out or got in trouble, they just always had some issue with the educational system since nothing was ever good enough. It was always weird to be the new girl at school without having ever moved from my house
( ... )
Comments 24
When I was 14, I listened to a lot of "dark" music and had a very bleak outlook on life.
When I was 15, I started thinking of H as more than a friend, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'd never felt so loved. And I believed with all my heart that he was my soulmate, and we fondly called each other imzadi.
When I was 16, I remember that my birthday was spectacular - my friends Linnéa and Tina made a really big deal out of it, and I spent a full day of school tied to at least 10 festive balloons. And I didn't mind. :)
When I was 17, I somehow had a good year. I don't remember anything from it, but I'll always remember it as good. (And in my own mind, I'll always think of myself as 17.)
When I was 18, I loved my academic life. I had great teachers, and great classmates and friends. <3 Life was FUN ( ... )
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