I agree that the gov't should not have any say in who can or cannot get married. I have always lived with the belief that everyone has the right to do what makes them happy (as long as it does not harm others). After all doesn't the Declaration of Independance state that we all have the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. If someone wants to get married to a woman, a man or both, they should have that right and the government should stay out of it.
My wife and I have been married for 5 1/2 years now and it has been great. We decided that since neither of us was overly religious to not have it at a church and instead had it in a park. We both were active in the Renaissance Faire at the time so we made it a Ren Faire theme. We had a good friend from our guild(who happened to be an ordained minister through some online church) perform the ceremony for us (at the cost of a bottle of Rum). We ended up having the ceremony we wanted, the way we wanted it(for the most part, I mean nothing ever really goes entirely as
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I hope that everything goes the way you want it to.
My wife's father has been distant for a long time but we thought that maybe we had made some headway with him when we went to visit him a few months before the wedding. Guess we didn't since he called the DAY OF WEDDING to say that he would not be able to come. Luckily, Craig (Amy's mom's then boyfriend) picked up the phone when he called and after listening to him say he was not coming, replied "OK" and hung up. Amy told him later that he had done what she would have wanted to but probably would have. It was great.
Hm well I have to disagree with your attitude towards the 'traditional' marriage ceremony. I do agree that all the things you pointed out can be taken as sexist but on the other hand I disagree that they have any significance in this day and age. They are traditions and are likely to be repeated for years and years to come but the symbolism is no longer valid. I guess it's the same as practice vs. theory - the theory is always there but it doesn't stand true in practice.
I hope you get what I'm saying because I am feeling particularly inarticulate today /=
I feel the same way you do. I don't see it as sexist. But then why do we need to do half of those things especially since the significance has been lost? Why not develop new traditions that had more relevance and meaning... especially for something so special? I feel that many brides stress over how their wedding has to fit the perfect ideal. It would probably run a lot smoother if they made it more about THEM (as a couple) instead of caring so much about how it's SUPPOSED to be.
People keep doing the same old things over and over again because they lack imagination. They fail to see the symbolism. Instead, they see tradition, and tradition is comforting to them.
I dislike Western marriage ceremonies, too. I want to wear a bright colored sari at my wedding. I don't know what else... I'm not planning anything until I have a man to go with the wedding.
Saris are beautiful. My friend's best friend went to her high school prom dressed in Sari. And my friend, who's white, went to the prom with a black guy. I admire them for that since their high school was extremely narrow-minded. Needless to say they made heads turn that night. Oh the controversy! lol
i have always wanted to do that fresh-new last name thing. doubtful if i'll ever get married and should i ever, i might not even be so concerned anymore, but i think it's a great idea. when you bond with eachother to go ahead and shed the old names of your old families and start a whole new one. ♥
Have you ever considered doing a commitment ceremony now?
It's unfortunate that you weren't able to plan the sort of wedding that you had wanted because of circumstances, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to celebrate your love anyways.
That's one of the things I've never really understood about marriage, why do we have the really big celebration at the beginning, when alot of couples are still pretty queasy and unsure about their relationships (I don't condone this, but I think the statistics on divorce rates can somewhat confirm it) Why not have a massive celebration after a number of years, or the birth of a child- or some sort of milestone in the marriage that signifies the lasting bond between two people?
interesting. i never really thought of the marriage traditions in that way. i'm taking my fiance's name, mainly because i dont wanna be associated with any of my father's relatives. for that reason, my brother said that when he gets married, he's taking his future wife's name also. i used to love my last name (no one has my last name w/out being directly related to my dad's family cuz it's so unique
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My wife and I have been married for 5 1/2 years now and it has been great. We decided that since neither of us was overly religious to not have it at a church and instead had it in a park. We both were active in the Renaissance Faire at the time so we made it a Ren Faire theme. We had a good friend from our guild(who happened to be an ordained minister through some online church) perform the ceremony for us (at the cost of a bottle of Rum). We ended up having the ceremony we wanted, the way we wanted it(for the most part, I mean nothing ever really goes entirely as ( ... )
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My wife's father has been distant for a long time but we thought that maybe we had made some headway with him when we went to visit him a few months before the wedding. Guess we didn't since he called the DAY OF WEDDING to say that he would not be able to come. Luckily, Craig (Amy's mom's then boyfriend) picked up the phone when he called and after listening to him say he was not coming, replied "OK" and hung up. Amy told him later that he had done what she would have wanted to but probably would have. It was great.
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I hope you get what I'm saying because I am feeling particularly inarticulate today /=
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I dislike Western marriage ceremonies, too. I want to wear a bright colored sari at my wedding. I don't know what else... I'm not planning anything until I have a man to go with the wedding.
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(The comment has been removed)
It's unfortunate that you weren't able to plan the sort of wedding that you had wanted because of circumstances, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to celebrate your love anyways.
That's one of the things I've never really understood about marriage, why do we have the really big celebration at the beginning, when alot of couples are still pretty queasy and unsure about their relationships (I don't condone this, but I think the statistics on divorce rates can somewhat confirm it) Why not have a massive celebration after a number of years, or the birth of a child- or some sort of milestone in the marriage that signifies the lasting bond between two people?
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Day to day life can get so hectic that special things get pushed onto the back burner sometimes.
I hope that the stars start aligning for your special day!
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