Comments | belenen: anika / soulfriendship / kaylene / waiting, yearning still

belenen

anika / soulfriendship / kaylene / waiting, yearning still

Feb 05, 2006 04:05

Anika came to visit, as I posted, and we had such a deep connection. Even though she was going through a terribly hard time (two of her most valued relationships in serious crisis), I was so happy she was visiting. I didn't resent the timing because I was so glad that for once I was able to be a real support for her -- it's hard to do that over ( Read more... )

sunny, soul, kaylene, soulfriendship

Comments 26

invisibleglue February 5 2006, 14:24:26 UTC

I will be praying for you.

And I would love to speak to you on the phone sometime. Have you got my number? If you will e-mail me your phone number, I'll try and give you a call sometime this week. My e-mail is kittyinthetree@aol.com

And all those brilliant qualities that you listed about Anika, well you have them too!

belenen February 22 2006, 20:26:00 UTC

aww. ;-) Thank you Nisha!

girlblue_77 February 5 2006, 14:52:15 UTC

Wow, I really feel for you. My heart goes out to you, and I so wish I could help somehow ( ... )

belenen February 22 2006, 20:28:27 UTC

As for the Anika thing, as odd as it sounds, I wonder if it's sort of a fear of commitment. Maybe she thinks of being a soulfriend as something that requires so much of a dedication to you, and a commitment to you, that she's just not ready for it.

I think you hit the nail on the head there! Thanks for taking the time to write that, it actually helped me to understand her more...

boobearsguppie February 5 2006, 19:12:58 UTC

May I please ask you what a soulfriend is to you? I can feel(not neccesarily describe) what a soulfriend is to me (as it is different to each individual) I am just curious about your views and beliefs. ~~Ashley

belenen February 22 2006, 20:29:20 UTC

A 'soulfriend' is... well, it's long and complicated to explain, but I do plan to post about it soon and explain. The short answer is that it's a very committed, close friendship, like a marriage without sex or financial connection.

shioneh February 5 2006, 19:24:22 UTC

Bel, I'm so sorry. For reasons I've explained in my journal, I haven't been around or commenting a lot but I've been reading your entries and been very worried about you. As someone commented above said, your heartbreak is so obvious from your words and I would really love to support you right now, ..if you'll let me. Even though I could feel your sadness so vividly through this entry, I also felt relieved because you are openning up and sharing finally and I know that will help you ( ... )

belenen February 22 2006, 20:35:07 UTC

I have been plagued my whole life with nightmares and disturbing thoughts about sexual abuse, despite never having been through the horror of it myself.

That sounds like an oxymoron... I think, scary as it may be, that it's much more likely that you HAVE experienced something similar, probably not exactly what you dream of, but your subconscious is tired of hiding it and lets it out in your dreams. Many victims completely repress the memories and don't know anything about them until much later, when something happens to bring them up. It's a coping method that your mind does.

I'm glad you are in the process of making sex into something positive for you. I keep working toward that... it just seems that as soon as I make progress I lose it, and it's very frustrating and exhausting.

Try to heal Bel, but for yourself.. not out of a sense of guilt or your healing will not be complete.

That is so true, I FEEL the truth in it, I feel that if I could just stop feeling guilty I could make so much progress... So I'm working on that. *

shioneh February 5 2006, 19:43:37 UTC

With regards to Anika and soulfriends, I am finding it difficult to formulate my thoughts. I think I need to understand better, first, what a soulfriend entails for you. I can tell though that finding your soulfriend is something that means the world to you and I wish so much that I could releave some of the pain you feel about Anika.

I agree with girlblue77 when she said that perhaps Anika worries about the dedication a soulfriend entails, though I don't know the situation in details and I may be wrong. I know Anika loves you to bits and would not want to disappoint you in any way. Maybe she is worried that at the moment, she cannot give you everything she would want to give you as a soulfriend and therefore is uncomfortable about the title. All relationships need work and attention to grow and help both people involved flourish. Your connection with Anika is deep and beautiful and definitely worth effort and energy. My person thought is that you should both put as much into the relationship as you can and continue trying to help each other ( ... )

belenen February 22 2006, 20:39:13 UTC

I plan to make a post with my updated beliefs about soulfriendship... I think the last time I made the post was a full year ago, I have learned so much since then.

I believe that when we start trying to define our relationships with people, a new element emerges: commitment.

Exactly -- soulfriendship requires commitment, a LOT of commitment. I don't know why, but I seem to have a gift for being able to commit, heh, it's very easy for me. I wish it was easy for those I want to commit to. :-(

Thank you so much for these two long lovely comments. I LOVE comments from you. ;-)