BORED.

[beingthatclever]

Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. If you have a problem that needs solving, bring it to me, and make sure it's interesting.

However, at the moment I'm bored enough to consider taking on just about anything. Go ahead.

Comments

[maidofalltrades]

Ah... thank you for meeting with me, Mr Holmes, Dr Watson, sirs.

[beingthatclever]

Oh. A Victorian maid - an actual Victorian maid, time displaced, very fascinating.

[beingthatclever]

[ John, in the kitchen with tea: HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION. SHERLOCK, ARE YOU HIGH AGAIN. ]

[beingthatclever]

It's so obvious I'm actually offended that you couldn't figure it out, John.

[ John: ... She's in a costume, that makes her a real Victorian maid? Sherlock, sometimes - sometimes people dress up - not, not that it isn't a lovely costume, miss - ]

That's not a costume, don't be so dull, look at the weave of the fabric, that's mid-Industrial Revolution machine work, cheap and sturdy but obviously not to the same standards as modern cloth. Even you could tell the style of the dress and apron are Victorian but you're not looking at the stitching, early sewing machine work but finished by hand, hems let down three times because that's your only uniform, isn't it, Miss Emma? And the wear pattern on her apron and sleeves clearly shows they're both worn for work and not reproduction dress-up.

But couldn't she have just done all that herself if she was really dedicated, she could have, except for the cloth, which like I said, could only have been made in a factory during the Industrial Revolution, and its condition is too good for it to

[kinglestrade]

Especially generous today, are you?

[beingthatclever]

Don't accuse me of altruism, Lestrade, this is entirely for my benefit. There hasn't been anything sufficient in holding my attention for days.

[kinglestrade]

Oh, don't you worry, mate, I wasn't gonna.

Anyway, I'm sure the world will be kind enough to throw us all a string of serial kills soon enough, god forbid. Just try not to stir up too much noise in the meantime, yeah?

obnoxious violin concertos are not noise

[beingthatclever]

Well the world could try harder first.

[twatimmemorial]

Rest assured mate, all my problems are INCREDIBLY interesting.

[beingthatclever]

As long as it's not relating to your numerous ASBOs, I'll try to suspend my overwhelming disbelief.

[twatimmemorial]

So you've heard of me then?

[twatimmemorial]

And don't take the piss alright, this one's a bit more serious than an ASBO!

[interrogando]

'Consulting detective', that's new. Is it just different over in England or has police-work seriously changed that much since I left the force?

[beingthatclever]

No, police work is as ghastly and ineffective as ever. I am the world's only consulting detective.

[interrogando]

Cute.

Can't say I have a special title, but I could use your input on a case. I hear you're not bad.

[beingthatclever]

Then you heard from someone blessed with a flair for the understatement.

[thetta_reddast]

I lost my puffin.

[beingthatclever]

I don't suppose that's code for "economic stability," is it.

[thetta_reddast]

Huh. I guess I lost that too.

[beingthatclever]

Mm, yes.