youre not here, and i cant stop pretending that youre forever mine.

[begging_to_void]

I cant think. Cant put myself to do anything.
Im so worn out.
I cant go on like this.
I need something. But what…
I don’t know. I need love. happiness.
Something I used to have.

I cant concentrate on anything I do.

why does it have to be like this.

Comments

lauren is the best ever!!

[i_like_cursive]

lauren lauren lauren! next time i go i will tell you! but yes...what you told me you need....i used to need one of those twice a week and for some people...it does them soo good but for the stubborn ones like me it made me worse! i dunno i mean at times like now i think i need that too....cuz nothing else seems to be helping, but then i think i just need drugs again....although they did nothing but make me numb and i hate that but thats better than feeling all this right? i dunno all i know is i love you so much and i wish you were my neighbor ::like mr rodgers...i watched 2 minutes of that today:: so that we could talk everyday and everynight and have sleep overs all the time! we will hang out! i love you more than i love cursive....OOMMGG that is like an unbelievable amount geeze! feel lucky! and feel better babe...i know we have never talked but you know my number if you need it...i never know what to say but i will listen i love you!

Re: lauren is the best ever!!

[begging_to_void]

jenna jenna jenna. how can you make me smile so much!!!!! i get your text last night, and i was freaking out that you were going to do that. you better not have. i actually used to. it didnt help..so you needed one twice a week? i dont think they would help me either, i cancelled my doctors appt this morning cause i got the flu :-( . it sucks! so im not at school and i feel crappy! but when i read ur coment i got so happy. well kind of. haha. yeah, drgs dont help either. you would think they would, and i havent tried so im not gonna say that they dont work, but it seems like they would at the time, but would wear off. and i wish we were neighbors too! that would rock! and especially if we lived in mr. rogers neighborhood! we could sing songs and take trips to see how blue jeans and crayons are made with him! and hey maybe he would even let us take trolley rides! woo! well yeah, we definetly need to hang out. and you have my number also, call me if you need annnnnnnnnnnnything! you got that!!!!! anything! WOAH MORE THAN YOU LOVE

Re: lauren is the best ever!!

[i_like_cursive]

i got it lauren! and im sorry you were freaking out! i didnt mean i was really going to do it! i was just using that! im sorry i wont do that again unless im serious. man when will i drive?! i have to reshedule my behind the wheel appointment cuz im going to merced this weekend with my friend.....but i will get it soon enough! and then we can hang out and i can be shy the whole time lol! i was thinking aobut you a lot at school today....i just want you to be ok! well tomorrow im dying my hair...well im putting different color streaks in it and i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo scared! i saw it on this grl on tv it looked HOTT ::with two T's!:: but its gonna look dumb on me i think grr!! oh well! its just hair right! lauren i love you sooo much!!

Re: lauren is the best ever!!

[begging_to_void]

yeah, its okay about the text..just dont do it again missy! i was scared! man! when will you drive!??!?! where is merced? ha. well have fun wherever it is! haha, i will probably be shy too if we hang out. oh well. so what color streaks are you putting in your hair?? im sure it will look awesome! woo! i know it will! well im home sick again today! yuck! i got your text...awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww so nice! made me smile 3987593750378303709427976376 times!!! woo!

i love you!
xoxo. lauren

[diseased_heart]

it isnt easy dear. i know how you feel for the most part from what you wrote. and im here for you if you need me to be. and i need to talk to you about something of some importance so ill be calling you tomorrow...or today because you are probably getting this tues. so yeah. anyways. ill talk to you later darln'.
.love.
Justin<333

[begging_to_void]

thanks justin. im feeling better now, but ah i have the flu so im all sick. thanks for being here, and feel free to give me a call if you need to talk about something. well i hope you are having a great day at school justin. thanks.

<3lauren

[sosickofbeing]

you know that the ally is worried about you.
[[i am actually pretty worried for myself as well]]

i love you a lot!!!

over and out from period 4.

[shardsofsin]

that describes somewhat of how i feel....its not easy but you gotta go on living. and just hoping that your emotions dont take over. when they consume you, then things happen. you know what i mean. xo.

[begging_to_void]

thanks jesey. i love you.

<3 lauren