Wednesday the 18th: A New Beginning, Psych FanFic
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TITLE: Wednesday the 18th: A New Beginning
RATING: NC-17
CHARACTERS: Shawn/Carlton
WORD COUNT: ~3,500
WARNINGS: Language. Oh, and sex. Angry/frustrated/needy sex.
SUMMARY: 3x15 Episode Tag. “What are you doing here, Carlton?” Shawn was a little thrown off his center. Carlton Lassiter hadn’t voluntarily walked into his domicile in over a year.
AO3 Link
Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, it would've aired by now...
Author's Note: I've been working on this thing on and off since the episode aired. It's the longest I've ever spent on a one-shot and I'm SO GLAD to finally be done with it! (Even though there's a small part of me that's still trying to figure out how to make it into a multi-part fic...) It's gone through so many rewrites and edits you probably wouldn't even recognize it from my original notes.
But anyway...many thanks to andieshep for helping me make this fic better (I probably owe her my first-born or something). Any remaining suckage is totally my own fault. Also, the title sounded a lot better at 3 a.m....
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By the time Gus dropped Shawn off outside his apartment building, Shawn was ready to just crawl into bed and sleep a week. Fake murders made him sleepy enough; not-so-fake murders exhausted him.
Shawn was debating whether or not he should take a shower as he opened his door. He paused mid-step and mid-thought as he spotted the figure slouched on his couch.
“Hey Spencer,” a dejected voice spoke.
“Lassie?” Shawn said in confusion. He made a show of double-checking the number on his door before he finally stepped fully into his apartment and closed it behind him. “What’s going on, Buddy?” By the discarded shoes and suit jacket, Shawn figured the other man had been there for a while.
“I found your spare key,” Carlton said to the floor. Shawn found it a little creepifying he’d yet to look directly at him. “Fake plant in the hallway is a little cliché, even for you.”
“You should see Gus’s fake rock,” Shawn said absently as he tossed his keys onto the coffee table. “What are you doing here, Carlton?” Shawn was a little thrown off his center. Carlton Lassiter hadn’t voluntarily walked into his domicile in over a year.
Carlton finally looked up at him. Shawn frowned, taking in his rumpled appearance. He looked…like a man in desperate need of a hug. (Shawn had often thought Carlton looked like in a man in need of several things. Most days it was A Man In Need of a Slug or Two of Scotch or A Man In Need of a Blowjob. It was never something so innocent as a hug.)
“I don’t know,” Carlton admitted with a shaky laugh. “I was drunk last night. Just sort of ended up here, I guess.” Carlton stood as Shawn slowly moved around the coffee table. They stared at each other for a long moment before Carlton lunged at him, lips first.
The momentum made Shawn stumble back a step as his hands went up to grip Carlton’s biceps for balance. Carlton’s tongue was gaining fast access as his hand fumbled with the buttons of Shawn’s shirt. Shawn was momentarily too stunned to do anything (except, maybe, kiss back…a little).
It took a lot of willpower for Shawn to push the grabby man back. When he managed it, Carlton stared at him in confusion, breathing heavily. When he started to reach for Shawn again, Shawn held him back with a hand on his chest. (He'd forgotten how solid Carlton was and how he really liked it when Shawn's fingers rubbed over his...Shawn should not let his mind go there.)
"Whoa, Lassie," Shawn murmured, more than a little kiss-drunk.
"Shawn, please," Carlton begged. Shawn swallowed heavily, recognizing the desire in that tone.
"This didn't work out so swell the last time," Shawn said gently. ('The Last Time' had consisted of a handful of fumbles and gropes between the two men. It'd ended amicably enough, but both men had agreed they were better off strictly as colleagues.)
"Yeah, well, I'm an idiot," Carlton admitted, grabbing Shawn to him again. Shawn moaned into his mouth. It wasn't like they hadn't been amazing together where the physical stuff was concerned. There was something about Carlton that could get Shawn fully hard in a matter of seconds (at that moment, Shawn was thinking that something was quite probably Lassie's tongue).
"Want me to go?" Carlton gasped between sucking Shawn's bottom lip and the curve of his neck. Shawn groaned as Carlton grabbed onto his ass with both hands and responded by walking them sideways toward the bedroom (some days he loved how entirely tiny his apartment was just for how short that trip was).
Both men fell onto the bed, Shawn careful not to knee the detective anywhere particularly valuable as he landed mostly on top of him. Shawn pulled his mouth away long enough to forgo the remaining buttons and yank his shirt over his head, tossing it out of the way. Carlton immediately yanked them back together, his tongue delving deep into Shawn's mouth. Shawn hummed happily against him. Despite the fact Carlton tasted like stale alcohol, he'd always been a fantastic kisser. (Shawn's theory was that all the frowning kept Carlton's mouth muscles in top form.)
"Fuck me, Shawn," Carlton growled low against Shawn's lips as he ground his erection into Shawn's hip. Shawn bit back a groan and pulled his mouth free.
"Carlton?" he croaked in confusion. It usually took an eternity (plus trickery of wording) to get Carlton anywhere close to saying what he wanted in bed. (The man had repressed sexuality in spades.) The blunt demand had Shawn staring at the other man, wondering if he was some sort of horny pod person sent to steal Shawn's seed. While it was kind of cool to think of little Shawn/Alien hybrids running around, Shawn thought it best to hold the possible alien back with a gentle hand on his chest.
"I need you to fuck me," Carlton whispered, his tone as close to pleading as Shawn had ever heard it. Carlton's hand slid down Shawn's side and across his front, making Shawn groan as it squeezed lightly over his trapped erection. He gripped Carlton's shirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Shawn moaned as Carlton’s hips rolled against his own again. Shawn reluctantly pulled back to look down at him. There was something guarded in Carlton's eyes and Shawn didn't like it. It was true Carlton tended toward the repressed side, but Shawn had always counted on his eyes to be expressive. It was slightly disturbing for Shawn not to be able to see anything in them.
"Why are you here, Lassie?" he asked with a frown.
"Shut up, Shawn," he hissed, pulling Shawn down on top of him. Shawn felt the fingers fumbling with the button of his jeans. Carlton's hand was sliding past the waistband of Shawn's underwear before Shawn managed to pull away. He sat back on his heels, panting heavily as he gaped at Carlton. The older man looked nothing but fuckable at that moment. His skin was flushed, mouth hanging open slightly as he tried to catch his breath. His clothes were rumpled and looked somehow desperate to be removed (and Shawn's hands itched to be the ones to remove them).
But this was all wrong. Carlton Lassiter just didn't show up in his apartment, begging to be fucked after a year-long mutual hiatus. "What's going on with you?" Shawn whispered. "What's wrong?"
Carlton made a noise that sounded more than a little like a growl and lunged forward, tackling Shawn to the mattress. He pinned Shawn's arms above his head, his hands tight on Shawn's wrists as he shoved a knee between Shawn's legs, spreading them open until he fit between them. Shawn saw something feral flash in Carlton's eyes as he leaned down to roughly cover Shawn's mouth with his own. (Nothing, in Shawn's book, was hotter than being beneath Carlton Lassiter.) Once Carlton managed to coax a moan out of Shawn, he pulled back, letting go of one of Shawn's wrists.
"Nothing's wrong," Carlton said in a tight voice. Shawn shivered as he felt a hand slide down his chest. Carlton, apparently, remembered just how to play each of Shawn's ribs beneath his fingertips. "I'm horny," Carlton went on. Shawn, rock-hard and leaking, nearly lost it as the hand closed over the bulge in his jeans. Shawn cursed under his breath as Carlton's grip tightened, the hand rubbing him over the material "You're willing." Carlton tugged Shawn's bottom lip briefly between his teeth. "C'mon."
Shawn twisted in order to pin Carlton to the mattress. Their hips were already rocking against each other, seeking out some truly fantastic friction. "Okay," Shawn whispered as Carlton arched up beneath him. "Okay."
Shawn gave Carlton one more kiss before he sat back, straddling his thighs so he could reach out and work on the buttons of Carlton's shirt. Carlton reached between them again and finally managed to unbutton the top of Shawn's fly. Shawn squirmed as he felt the tug on his zipper.
"Someone's an eager puppy," Shawn commented as he bent down to kiss Carlton's neck. Carlton pulled at Shawn's jeans until Shawn shifted obligingly, stretching his legs out to help Carlton push down his jeans and underwear and finally free his straining cock.
Shawn kissed down Carlton's neck to his chest, pushing the unbuttoned shirt to the side as he went. He made a low noise deep in his chest as Shawn's mouth closed over his right nipple. Shawn smiled into his skin and chest hair as Carlton writhed beneath him. (There were definite benefits to never being able to forget what turned one's partner on.)
"Can the foreplay, Spencer," Carlton said gruffly before Shawn could kiss his way down his belly. Shawn raised an eyebrow as he lifted his head and Carlton met his gaze way too steadily. Shawn was used to him being past incoherent by that point.
"Whatever you say, Lassie," Shawn muttered. He slid off the bed to kick away the rest of his clothes. He knelt on the bed again to undo Carlton's belt as Carlton sat up enough to yank his own shirt off.
"Grab the lube," Shawn said with a nod to the bedside table. Carlton stretched to comply as Shawn pulled his pants away. Carlton let his long legs slide apart as Shawn took the bottle of lube from him.
Shawn looked down at him. The older man was breathing heavily, one of his hands sliding along his flat stomach to stroke at his growing erection. Shawn took a shaky breath drinking in the sight before him (he could just sit back and watch Carlton jerk off any day).
"Shawn..." Carlton practically whined. The man was gorgeous and stretched out and begging for it. Shawn, at that point, was willing to give him anything he asked for.
"Okay," he said, flipping open the cap of the lubricant. He poured a generous amount in his hand, rubbing it over his fingers to warm it.
Shawn scooted forward, his knees pushing against Carlton's thighs and spreading them further apart. He ran his slick fingers along Carlton's groin and under his balls, making the other man gasp and lift his hips invitingly. Shawn licked his lips and slid his own thighs under Carlton's, giving himself better access to rub teasing fingers along the crack of Carlton's ass.
Carlton moaned and squirmed, pressing his ass into Shawn's hand, making Shawn smile down at him as he circled the tip of his finger around his target. He loved the gasp he drew from the other man as he pushed the finger in.
"Jesus," Carlton panted, shaking as Shawn curled the finger inside him. This cursing, panting Lassiter was more what Shawn was used to having in his bed.
"Like that, Lassie?" Shawn murmured, forcing a second finger inside. Carlton groaned loudly and rolled his hips. Something hit Shawn in the chest and he looked down to see the condom packet where it'd landed on Carlton's thigh.
"I'm ready," Carlton gasped. Shawn watched him for a long moment, still easing him open with his fingers. That guarded look was coming back. "Please, Shawn."
Carlton gave something that sounded like a whimper as Shawn removed his fingers and reached for the condom. He rolled it on as quickly as he could manage with slippery fingers and picked up the bottle of lube again, groaning when Carlton let go of his own cock to help Shawn stroke the lube along his gloved dick.
Shawn bit his lip through Carlton's firm grip. "Easy there, Lassie," Shawn rasped, pulling the extra hand away. "You keep doing that and I definitely won't be able to make sweet, sweet love to you." Shawn smiled as Carlton obediently let his hand fall to the sheets.
It'd been months since they'd been together like this, but Shawn had always slid so easily into Carlton. Still, both men groaned loudly, curses slipping past two sets of lips. Shawn held onto Carlton's hips as they both sought to catch their breath. After a long moment of just breathing, Shawn pulled out slowly before he eased back in.
"Shit," Carlton moaned. Shawn let go of his hips to brace his hands on either side of his head, leaning down so he could kiss the other man's mouth. Carlton allowed it for a moment before he turned his head to the side, Shawn's mouth sliding to his cheek.
"Just fuck me, Shawn," He growled. Shawn frowned down at the man. It wasn't like they hadn't done the rough sex before, but something about Carlton just seemed...off. (He'd definitely never pulled the Pretty Woman, no-kissing-on-the-mouth thing before.)
"Carly..." Shawn whispered. Carlton turned his head enough to look up at Shawn. Shawn almost thought he was going to finally find out what was wrong with the man beneath him.
"Later, Spencer," Carlton said instead. Shawn shivered, sufficiently distracted as he felt hands slide down his back and grab onto his ass. "Right now I just need you in me." He shifted his hips and Shawn was forced to close his eyes and drop his forehead to Carlton's shoulder or risk losing it right then. He took a steadying breath and reached between them to wrap a hand around Carlton's cock. Carlton pushed his hand away before he'd even reached it. Shawn shoved himself up in frustration, glaring down at the man who glared back up at him.
Shawn pulled out and slammed back into Carlton, again and again. Carlton's fingers tightened on Shawn's ass as he lifted his hips to better meet Shawn's thrusts. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back so that Shawn couldn't even guess at his expression.
Shawn pounded into Carlton, taking his frustration out on the other man. He never fucked angry, but he figured it made some sort of sense Lassiter was the one to bring it out of him. He came with a grunt, pumping erratically into Carlton through the orgasm.
It took Shawn several deep breaths before he could bring himself to care about anything going on around him. He looked down at Carlton and frowned. The other man was completely soft, his eyes still closed as he tried to catch his breath.
"You didn't come," Shawn said knowingly, feeling a little sick with himself. Shawn prided himself on his unselfish-ry in bed; often to the point of making sure his bedmate got off before he did. If Carlton hadn't gotten off at all... "You didn't..." Carlton opened his eyes and looked up at him.
"Shawn..." he stopped talking with a wince as Shawn slipped out of him. Shawn suddenly couldn't look at him. He slid off the bed and turned his back on it, busying himself with pulling off the condom and tossing it into the trashcan as he went into the bathroom.
Shawn spent a moment in the other room, trying to talk himself down from his anger. Shawn thought the problem might be that he liked the head detective a little too much. The man had gotten under Shawn's skin and whether they were sleeping together or just working together, Shawn cared about him. Something was troubling Carlton, but instead of trusting Shawn enough to talk it through with him, Carlton'd used him for a quick release he, apparently, couldn't actually achieve. It made Shawn feel cheap.
The washrag he'd used to wipe himself off was tossed angrily into the sink as he stormed back into the bedroom. He made it just in time to watch Carlton pull on his dress shirt (apparently he'd already taken the time to don his pants).
"You make me fuck you and now you're just going to walk out!?" Shawn asked, incredulous.
"I didn't make you fuck me," Carlton said in a tired tone as he began to button his shirt.
"Goddammit, Lassiter," Shawn spat. He grabbed his discarded boxers and yanked them on, well aware that arguing naked wouldn't exactly give him a position of power. "You fucking used me and you know it."
"Don't pretend like you care, Spencer," Carlton muttered in exasperation as he moved toward the living room. "Sex is sex, right?" Shawn winced as Carlton threw his own words from over a year before back at him. It'd been a handy line then, but somehow it hurt now. Shawn shook off the sting and followed Carlton into the living room where the older man was bending to pick up his shoes.
"What the hell is going on with you, Lassiter?" Shawn asked tiredly as Carlton sat on the couch to put on his shoes.
"Let it go," Carlton snapped. The glare sent his way set off all kinds of alarms in Shawn's head. Carlton was feeling something.
"No," Shawn persisted, moving to stand stubbornly in front of Carlton. Carlton's glare merely sharpened. "You're an asshole, Lassie, but you don't pull shit like this." Carlton looked about ready to say something, but he closed his mouth and shook his head slightly instead.
"Just get out of my way, Spencer," Carlton said quietly, dropping his gaze. Shawn didn't budge. "Spencer..." a hint of warning entered Carlton's tone but Shawn held his ground. He'd been raised by Henry Spencer, after all; it took a lot for Shawn to feel intimidated.
"You came to me, Carly," Shawn pointed out. "If you'd just wanted a fuck you could've gone to a dozen different bars instead of waiting on me to show up." Carlton scoffed and tried to stand, glaring when Shawn moved in closer. "I'm here, Carlton," Shawn insisted. "I know we don't talk about shit. But I'm here." Carlton's eyes fell away again as Shawn noticed a sudden hunch in his shoulders.
"I saw Victoria last night," Carlton muttered. Shawn's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his bare chest. (He'd never met the woman, but Shawn held a massive grudge against her on principle alone.) "She...had papers for me to sign." Shawn's anger deflated as Carlton's behavior began to make sense.
"Divorce papers?" Shawn asked softly. Carlton nodded without looking up at him. "Shit. I'm sorry." Carlton shrugged slightly.
"Forget about it." Shawn was forced to take a step back as Carlton stood quickly.
"Carlton..." Shawn said as he began to move toward the door. Shawn reached out and caught hold of his arm. He half-expected Carlton to throw his hand off, but instead he stopped. Carlton didn't turn to face Shawn, so Shawn moved around in front of him, wanting to be face-to-face. He kept his head down, avoiding Shawn's gaze.
"Hey," Shawn whispered. He squeezed Carlton's arm until the taller man met his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Shawn," he said. Shawn was surprised to hear his voice waver just a bit. "I didn't mean to use you like that." Carlton grabbed tightly onto Shawn's arm. "I wasn't thinking...I...I'm sorry."
Shawn finally got it. Carlton had come to him because he wanted to feel something other than empty and alone and Shawn was nothing if not an expert in taking up space. Shawn's brash nature was not always welcomed but it seemed to be just what Carlton needed this time around. Shawn knew him well enough to know the man didn't always hear what people were trying to tell him. It wasn't hard to figure out that taking action may be a wiser course of...action. Shawn put his free hand behind Carlton's head and pulled him in for a kiss. He wanted Carlton to feel what he meant and not have to guess at it.
Carlton allowed the kiss for a long moment before he pulled back, looking down at Shawn in bewilderment. "You were pissed at me," he whispered. Shawn smiled.
"I'm always a little pissed at you, Lassafrass," Shawn stated matter-of-factly. "Doesn't mean I like it when you hurt." Carlton frowned making Shawn sigh as he took a step back. "Sex may be sex, but that was still a shitty thing to do." Carlton nodded in acceptance of the admonishment. "Wanna do it again?" Carlton's head shot up and Shawn grinned at the wide-eyed look of surprise.
"W-what?" Shawn laughed a bit and leaned in for another quick kiss.
"It never works between us, Lassie," Shawn said, reaching up to toy with the top button of Carlton's shirt. "But it's never boring. And you have to admit: the sex is fan-fucking-tastic!" The other man blushed.
"Shawn..." Shawn met Carlton's eyes.
"You're not alone," he said firmly, knowing Carlton needed to hear it. Carlton blinked at him. "I don't care if we're dating, screwing, barely putting up with each other on the job. You are not alone, Carlton Lassiter." Carlton blinked rapidly a few more times and Shawn began to doubt the man had really heard him. Something warmed in Carlton's eyes and Shawn took a breath as the other man nodded, just a bit.
"Okay," he whispered. Shawn grinned mischievously.
"You're hard again, aren't you?" he asked. Shawn could do the emotional reassurances but he already knew the physical ones were often more satisfactory.
"Shawn!" Carlton said as his blush deepened. Shawn didn't buy the offended act; he could see the spark of interest in his eyes. Shawn only grinned wider.
"C'mon Lassie!" Shawn cried, grabbing Carlton's hand. "You've got some catching up to do!"
/end
TITLE: Wednesday the 18th: A New Beginning
RATING: NC-17
CHARACTERS: Shawn/Carlton
WORD COUNT: ~3,500
WARNINGS: Language. Oh, and sex. Angry/frustrated/needy sex.
SUMMARY: 3x15 Episode Tag. “What are you doing here, Carlton?” Shawn was a little thrown off his center. Carlton Lassiter hadn’t voluntarily walked into his domicile in over a year.
AO3 Link
Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, it would've aired by now...
Author's Note: I've been working on this thing on and off since the episode aired. It's the longest I've ever spent on a one-shot and I'm SO GLAD to finally be done with it! (Even though there's a small part of me that's still trying to figure out how to make it into a multi-part fic...) It's gone through so many rewrites and edits you probably wouldn't even recognize it from my original notes.
But anyway...many thanks to andieshep for helping me make this fic better (I probably owe her my first-born or something). Any remaining suckage is totally my own fault. Also, the title sounded a lot better at 3 a.m....
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By the time Gus dropped Shawn off outside his apartment building, Shawn was ready to just crawl into bed and sleep a week. Fake murders made him sleepy enough; not-so-fake murders exhausted him.
Shawn was debating whether or not he should take a shower as he opened his door. He paused mid-step and mid-thought as he spotted the figure slouched on his couch.
“Hey Spencer,” a dejected voice spoke.
“Lassie?” Shawn said in confusion. He made a show of double-checking the number on his door before he finally stepped fully into his apartment and closed it behind him. “What’s going on, Buddy?” By the discarded shoes and suit jacket, Shawn figured the other man had been there for a while.
“I found your spare key,” Carlton said to the floor. Shawn found it a little creepifying he’d yet to look directly at him. “Fake plant in the hallway is a little cliché, even for you.”
“You should see Gus’s fake rock,” Shawn said absently as he tossed his keys onto the coffee table. “What are you doing here, Carlton?” Shawn was a little thrown off his center. Carlton Lassiter hadn’t voluntarily walked into his domicile in over a year.
Carlton finally looked up at him. Shawn frowned, taking in his rumpled appearance. He looked…like a man in desperate need of a hug. (Shawn had often thought Carlton looked like in a man in need of several things. Most days it was A Man In Need of a Slug or Two of Scotch or A Man In Need of a Blowjob. It was never something so innocent as a hug.)
“I don’t know,” Carlton admitted with a shaky laugh. “I was drunk last night. Just sort of ended up here, I guess.” Carlton stood as Shawn slowly moved around the coffee table. They stared at each other for a long moment before Carlton lunged at him, lips first.
The momentum made Shawn stumble back a step as his hands went up to grip Carlton’s biceps for balance. Carlton’s tongue was gaining fast access as his hand fumbled with the buttons of Shawn’s shirt. Shawn was momentarily too stunned to do anything (except, maybe, kiss back…a little).
It took a lot of willpower for Shawn to push the grabby man back. When he managed it, Carlton stared at him in confusion, breathing heavily. When he started to reach for Shawn again, Shawn held him back with a hand on his chest. (He'd forgotten how solid Carlton was and how he really liked it when Shawn's fingers rubbed over his...Shawn should not let his mind go there.)
"Whoa, Lassie," Shawn murmured, more than a little kiss-drunk.
"Shawn, please," Carlton begged. Shawn swallowed heavily, recognizing the desire in that tone.
"This didn't work out so swell the last time," Shawn said gently. ('The Last Time' had consisted of a handful of fumbles and gropes between the two men. It'd ended amicably enough, but both men had agreed they were better off strictly as colleagues.)
"Yeah, well, I'm an idiot," Carlton admitted, grabbing Shawn to him again. Shawn moaned into his mouth. It wasn't like they hadn't been amazing together where the physical stuff was concerned. There was something about Carlton that could get Shawn fully hard in a matter of seconds (at that moment, Shawn was thinking that something was quite probably Lassie's tongue).
"Want me to go?" Carlton gasped between sucking Shawn's bottom lip and the curve of his neck. Shawn groaned as Carlton grabbed onto his ass with both hands and responded by walking them sideways toward the bedroom (some days he loved how entirely tiny his apartment was just for how short that trip was).
Both men fell onto the bed, Shawn careful not to knee the detective anywhere particularly valuable as he landed mostly on top of him. Shawn pulled his mouth away long enough to forgo the remaining buttons and yank his shirt over his head, tossing it out of the way. Carlton immediately yanked them back together, his tongue delving deep into Shawn's mouth. Shawn hummed happily against him. Despite the fact Carlton tasted like stale alcohol, he'd always been a fantastic kisser. (Shawn's theory was that all the frowning kept Carlton's mouth muscles in top form.)
"Fuck me, Shawn," Carlton growled low against Shawn's lips as he ground his erection into Shawn's hip. Shawn bit back a groan and pulled his mouth free.
"Carlton?" he croaked in confusion. It usually took an eternity (plus trickery of wording) to get Carlton anywhere close to saying what he wanted in bed. (The man had repressed sexuality in spades.) The blunt demand had Shawn staring at the other man, wondering if he was some sort of horny pod person sent to steal Shawn's seed. While it was kind of cool to think of little Shawn/Alien hybrids running around, Shawn thought it best to hold the possible alien back with a gentle hand on his chest.
"I need you to fuck me," Carlton whispered, his tone as close to pleading as Shawn had ever heard it. Carlton's hand slid down Shawn's side and across his front, making Shawn groan as it squeezed lightly over his trapped erection. He gripped Carlton's shirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Shawn moaned as Carlton’s hips rolled against his own again. Shawn reluctantly pulled back to look down at him. There was something guarded in Carlton's eyes and Shawn didn't like it. It was true Carlton tended toward the repressed side, but Shawn had always counted on his eyes to be expressive. It was slightly disturbing for Shawn not to be able to see anything in them.
"Why are you here, Lassie?" he asked with a frown.
"Shut up, Shawn," he hissed, pulling Shawn down on top of him. Shawn felt the fingers fumbling with the button of his jeans. Carlton's hand was sliding past the waistband of Shawn's underwear before Shawn managed to pull away. He sat back on his heels, panting heavily as he gaped at Carlton. The older man looked nothing but fuckable at that moment. His skin was flushed, mouth hanging open slightly as he tried to catch his breath. His clothes were rumpled and looked somehow desperate to be removed (and Shawn's hands itched to be the ones to remove them).
But this was all wrong. Carlton Lassiter just didn't show up in his apartment, begging to be fucked after a year-long mutual hiatus. "What's going on with you?" Shawn whispered. "What's wrong?"
Carlton made a noise that sounded more than a little like a growl and lunged forward, tackling Shawn to the mattress. He pinned Shawn's arms above his head, his hands tight on Shawn's wrists as he shoved a knee between Shawn's legs, spreading them open until he fit between them. Shawn saw something feral flash in Carlton's eyes as he leaned down to roughly cover Shawn's mouth with his own. (Nothing, in Shawn's book, was hotter than being beneath Carlton Lassiter.) Once Carlton managed to coax a moan out of Shawn, he pulled back, letting go of one of Shawn's wrists.
"Nothing's wrong," Carlton said in a tight voice. Shawn shivered as he felt a hand slide down his chest. Carlton, apparently, remembered just how to play each of Shawn's ribs beneath his fingertips. "I'm horny," Carlton went on. Shawn, rock-hard and leaking, nearly lost it as the hand closed over the bulge in his jeans. Shawn cursed under his breath as Carlton's grip tightened, the hand rubbing him over the material "You're willing." Carlton tugged Shawn's bottom lip briefly between his teeth. "C'mon."
Shawn twisted in order to pin Carlton to the mattress. Their hips were already rocking against each other, seeking out some truly fantastic friction. "Okay," Shawn whispered as Carlton arched up beneath him. "Okay."
Shawn gave Carlton one more kiss before he sat back, straddling his thighs so he could reach out and work on the buttons of Carlton's shirt. Carlton reached between them again and finally managed to unbutton the top of Shawn's fly. Shawn squirmed as he felt the tug on his zipper.
"Someone's an eager puppy," Shawn commented as he bent down to kiss Carlton's neck. Carlton pulled at Shawn's jeans until Shawn shifted obligingly, stretching his legs out to help Carlton push down his jeans and underwear and finally free his straining cock.
Shawn kissed down Carlton's neck to his chest, pushing the unbuttoned shirt to the side as he went. He made a low noise deep in his chest as Shawn's mouth closed over his right nipple. Shawn smiled into his skin and chest hair as Carlton writhed beneath him. (There were definite benefits to never being able to forget what turned one's partner on.)
"Can the foreplay, Spencer," Carlton said gruffly before Shawn could kiss his way down his belly. Shawn raised an eyebrow as he lifted his head and Carlton met his gaze way too steadily. Shawn was used to him being past incoherent by that point.
"Whatever you say, Lassie," Shawn muttered. He slid off the bed to kick away the rest of his clothes. He knelt on the bed again to undo Carlton's belt as Carlton sat up enough to yank his own shirt off.
"Grab the lube," Shawn said with a nod to the bedside table. Carlton stretched to comply as Shawn pulled his pants away. Carlton let his long legs slide apart as Shawn took the bottle of lube from him.
Shawn looked down at him. The older man was breathing heavily, one of his hands sliding along his flat stomach to stroke at his growing erection. Shawn took a shaky breath drinking in the sight before him (he could just sit back and watch Carlton jerk off any day).
"Shawn..." Carlton practically whined. The man was gorgeous and stretched out and begging for it. Shawn, at that point, was willing to give him anything he asked for.
"Okay," he said, flipping open the cap of the lubricant. He poured a generous amount in his hand, rubbing it over his fingers to warm it.
Shawn scooted forward, his knees pushing against Carlton's thighs and spreading them further apart. He ran his slick fingers along Carlton's groin and under his balls, making the other man gasp and lift his hips invitingly. Shawn licked his lips and slid his own thighs under Carlton's, giving himself better access to rub teasing fingers along the crack of Carlton's ass.
Carlton moaned and squirmed, pressing his ass into Shawn's hand, making Shawn smile down at him as he circled the tip of his finger around his target. He loved the gasp he drew from the other man as he pushed the finger in.
"Jesus," Carlton panted, shaking as Shawn curled the finger inside him. This cursing, panting Lassiter was more what Shawn was used to having in his bed.
"Like that, Lassie?" Shawn murmured, forcing a second finger inside. Carlton groaned loudly and rolled his hips. Something hit Shawn in the chest and he looked down to see the condom packet where it'd landed on Carlton's thigh.
"I'm ready," Carlton gasped. Shawn watched him for a long moment, still easing him open with his fingers. That guarded look was coming back. "Please, Shawn."
Carlton gave something that sounded like a whimper as Shawn removed his fingers and reached for the condom. He rolled it on as quickly as he could manage with slippery fingers and picked up the bottle of lube again, groaning when Carlton let go of his own cock to help Shawn stroke the lube along his gloved dick.
Shawn bit his lip through Carlton's firm grip. "Easy there, Lassie," Shawn rasped, pulling the extra hand away. "You keep doing that and I definitely won't be able to make sweet, sweet love to you." Shawn smiled as Carlton obediently let his hand fall to the sheets.
It'd been months since they'd been together like this, but Shawn had always slid so easily into Carlton. Still, both men groaned loudly, curses slipping past two sets of lips. Shawn held onto Carlton's hips as they both sought to catch their breath. After a long moment of just breathing, Shawn pulled out slowly before he eased back in.
"Shit," Carlton moaned. Shawn let go of his hips to brace his hands on either side of his head, leaning down so he could kiss the other man's mouth. Carlton allowed it for a moment before he turned his head to the side, Shawn's mouth sliding to his cheek.
"Just fuck me, Shawn," He growled. Shawn frowned down at the man. It wasn't like they hadn't done the rough sex before, but something about Carlton just seemed...off. (He'd definitely never pulled the Pretty Woman, no-kissing-on-the-mouth thing before.)
"Carly..." Shawn whispered. Carlton turned his head enough to look up at Shawn. Shawn almost thought he was going to finally find out what was wrong with the man beneath him.
"Later, Spencer," Carlton said instead. Shawn shivered, sufficiently distracted as he felt hands slide down his back and grab onto his ass. "Right now I just need you in me." He shifted his hips and Shawn was forced to close his eyes and drop his forehead to Carlton's shoulder or risk losing it right then. He took a steadying breath and reached between them to wrap a hand around Carlton's cock. Carlton pushed his hand away before he'd even reached it. Shawn shoved himself up in frustration, glaring down at the man who glared back up at him.
Shawn pulled out and slammed back into Carlton, again and again. Carlton's fingers tightened on Shawn's ass as he lifted his hips to better meet Shawn's thrusts. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back so that Shawn couldn't even guess at his expression.
Shawn pounded into Carlton, taking his frustration out on the other man. He never fucked angry, but he figured it made some sort of sense Lassiter was the one to bring it out of him. He came with a grunt, pumping erratically into Carlton through the orgasm.
It took Shawn several deep breaths before he could bring himself to care about anything going on around him. He looked down at Carlton and frowned. The other man was completely soft, his eyes still closed as he tried to catch his breath.
"You didn't come," Shawn said knowingly, feeling a little sick with himself. Shawn prided himself on his unselfish-ry in bed; often to the point of making sure his bedmate got off before he did. If Carlton hadn't gotten off at all... "You didn't..." Carlton opened his eyes and looked up at him.
"Shawn..." he stopped talking with a wince as Shawn slipped out of him. Shawn suddenly couldn't look at him. He slid off the bed and turned his back on it, busying himself with pulling off the condom and tossing it into the trashcan as he went into the bathroom.
Shawn spent a moment in the other room, trying to talk himself down from his anger. Shawn thought the problem might be that he liked the head detective a little too much. The man had gotten under Shawn's skin and whether they were sleeping together or just working together, Shawn cared about him. Something was troubling Carlton, but instead of trusting Shawn enough to talk it through with him, Carlton'd used him for a quick release he, apparently, couldn't actually achieve. It made Shawn feel cheap.
The washrag he'd used to wipe himself off was tossed angrily into the sink as he stormed back into the bedroom. He made it just in time to watch Carlton pull on his dress shirt (apparently he'd already taken the time to don his pants).
"You make me fuck you and now you're just going to walk out!?" Shawn asked, incredulous.
"I didn't make you fuck me," Carlton said in a tired tone as he began to button his shirt.
"Goddammit, Lassiter," Shawn spat. He grabbed his discarded boxers and yanked them on, well aware that arguing naked wouldn't exactly give him a position of power. "You fucking used me and you know it."
"Don't pretend like you care, Spencer," Carlton muttered in exasperation as he moved toward the living room. "Sex is sex, right?" Shawn winced as Carlton threw his own words from over a year before back at him. It'd been a handy line then, but somehow it hurt now. Shawn shook off the sting and followed Carlton into the living room where the older man was bending to pick up his shoes.
"What the hell is going on with you, Lassiter?" Shawn asked tiredly as Carlton sat on the couch to put on his shoes.
"Let it go," Carlton snapped. The glare sent his way set off all kinds of alarms in Shawn's head. Carlton was feeling something.
"No," Shawn persisted, moving to stand stubbornly in front of Carlton. Carlton's glare merely sharpened. "You're an asshole, Lassie, but you don't pull shit like this." Carlton looked about ready to say something, but he closed his mouth and shook his head slightly instead.
"Just get out of my way, Spencer," Carlton said quietly, dropping his gaze. Shawn didn't budge. "Spencer..." a hint of warning entered Carlton's tone but Shawn held his ground. He'd been raised by Henry Spencer, after all; it took a lot for Shawn to feel intimidated.
"You came to me, Carly," Shawn pointed out. "If you'd just wanted a fuck you could've gone to a dozen different bars instead of waiting on me to show up." Carlton scoffed and tried to stand, glaring when Shawn moved in closer. "I'm here, Carlton," Shawn insisted. "I know we don't talk about shit. But I'm here." Carlton's eyes fell away again as Shawn noticed a sudden hunch in his shoulders.
"I saw Victoria last night," Carlton muttered. Shawn's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his bare chest. (He'd never met the woman, but Shawn held a massive grudge against her on principle alone.) "She...had papers for me to sign." Shawn's anger deflated as Carlton's behavior began to make sense.
"Divorce papers?" Shawn asked softly. Carlton nodded without looking up at him. "Shit. I'm sorry." Carlton shrugged slightly.
"Forget about it." Shawn was forced to take a step back as Carlton stood quickly.
"Carlton..." Shawn said as he began to move toward the door. Shawn reached out and caught hold of his arm. He half-expected Carlton to throw his hand off, but instead he stopped. Carlton didn't turn to face Shawn, so Shawn moved around in front of him, wanting to be face-to-face. He kept his head down, avoiding Shawn's gaze.
"Hey," Shawn whispered. He squeezed Carlton's arm until the taller man met his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Shawn," he said. Shawn was surprised to hear his voice waver just a bit. "I didn't mean to use you like that." Carlton grabbed tightly onto Shawn's arm. "I wasn't thinking...I...I'm sorry."
Shawn finally got it. Carlton had come to him because he wanted to feel something other than empty and alone and Shawn was nothing if not an expert in taking up space. Shawn's brash nature was not always welcomed but it seemed to be just what Carlton needed this time around. Shawn knew him well enough to know the man didn't always hear what people were trying to tell him. It wasn't hard to figure out that taking action may be a wiser course of...action. Shawn put his free hand behind Carlton's head and pulled him in for a kiss. He wanted Carlton to feel what he meant and not have to guess at it.
Carlton allowed the kiss for a long moment before he pulled back, looking down at Shawn in bewilderment. "You were pissed at me," he whispered. Shawn smiled.
"I'm always a little pissed at you, Lassafrass," Shawn stated matter-of-factly. "Doesn't mean I like it when you hurt." Carlton frowned making Shawn sigh as he took a step back. "Sex may be sex, but that was still a shitty thing to do." Carlton nodded in acceptance of the admonishment. "Wanna do it again?" Carlton's head shot up and Shawn grinned at the wide-eyed look of surprise.
"W-what?" Shawn laughed a bit and leaned in for another quick kiss.
"It never works between us, Lassie," Shawn said, reaching up to toy with the top button of Carlton's shirt. "But it's never boring. And you have to admit: the sex is fan-fucking-tastic!" The other man blushed.
"Shawn..." Shawn met Carlton's eyes.
"You're not alone," he said firmly, knowing Carlton needed to hear it. Carlton blinked at him. "I don't care if we're dating, screwing, barely putting up with each other on the job. You are not alone, Carlton Lassiter." Carlton blinked rapidly a few more times and Shawn began to doubt the man had really heard him. Something warmed in Carlton's eyes and Shawn took a breath as the other man nodded, just a bit.
"Okay," he whispered. Shawn grinned mischievously.
"You're hard again, aren't you?" he asked. Shawn could do the emotional reassurances but he already knew the physical ones were often more satisfactory.
"Shawn!" Carlton said as his blush deepened. Shawn didn't buy the offended act; he could see the spark of interest in his eyes. Shawn only grinned wider.
"C'mon Lassie!" Shawn cried, grabbing Carlton's hand. "You've got some catching up to do!"
/end