And a Pineapple in a Pine Tree, Psych FanFic
Master Fic List
TITLE: And a Pineapple in a Pine Tree
RATING: NC-17/FRAO
CHARACTERS: Shawn, Carlton and the neighbor lady
WORD COUNT: 1,800ish
WARNINGS: This would be smut. Smut without a plot...but a shot of seasonal good wishes.
SUMMARY: What happens when two men get together to decorate the tree.
AO3 Link
Disclaimer: Christmas is coming up...but I'm not counting on any of this being under the tree. :( (This is my way of saying: I don't own this.)
Author's Note: What can I say; I got bored and thought "Hmm...I could use a Holiday Themed Shassie fic" and this came up. I brought back the little old lady I used in Feel Like Makin' Love because she cracked me up the first time.
Just think of this as my little HAPPY HOLIDAYS! to the fandom. :)
Unbeta-ed; slightly proofread. I don't think it's my best smut...but I don't think it's too bad. Constructive criticism is welcome.
-----------------------------
“You want to put a pineapple on top of our Christmas tree?” Carlton asked Shawn incredulously.
“Yeah! It’ll look totally awesome!” Shawn said, practically bouncing on his feet.
“A pineapple…on a Christmas tree…?” Carlton repeated slowly. Shawn rolled his eyes and snatched the fruit in question from Carlton’s hands.
“This is a pineapple and that is a pine tree,” Shawn said, very slowly. Sometimes it took patience to work with the detective.
“It’s plastic, Shawn,” Carlton corrected.
“Lassie!” Shawn whined, rolling his eyes again in frustration. He missed the wicked grin Carlton flashed his way before Shawn suddenly found himself being pulled tightly against the other man. “You frustrate me on purpose, don’t you?” Shawn said with a pout as Carlton planted a kiss on his neck.
“Mmm…you don’t do the same?” Carlton retorted, a mischievous spark in his eyes. Shawn couldn’t help but grin in reply. Letting the pineapple fall with a THUNK on the coffee table, he slid one of his hands to the back of Carlton’s neck.
“I would’ve let you put the pineapple on the tree,” he said in a superior tone. Carlton scoffed and pulled back, forcing Shawn to drop his hand.
“You’re the one who wanted it there in the first place,” Carlton pointed out.
“Yes, but, I let you put the handcuffs on the tree…” Carlton raised an eyebrow.
“And where are they now?” Shawn had the decency to look at least a little sheepish.
“Behind the incredibly heavy, incredibly antique, piano that requires several large, burly, Irishmen to move…”
“And why is that Shawn?” Carlton asked, slowly reentering Shawn’s very limited personal space. Shawn took a playful step back.
“Because someone insisted we use them and then flung them across the room in the heat of the moment…” Carlton was pressed against him now, their faces only inches apart.
“And who exactly was that…?” Carlton purred before placing a soft kiss just below Shawn’s ear. Shawn couldn’t help but shiver.
“It might’ve been me…” he croaked as Carlton’s tongue slid along his neck.
“Mmm. Might’ve?” Carlton pulled back and quirked an eyebrow.
“Shut up,” Shawn ordered, grabbing him by the back of the neck to pull their lips together. He could feel Carlton’s smirk even as he pressed his tongue into the detective’s mouth. It inspired Shawn to turn them with a growl, forcing Carlton’s back against the wall. Carlton moaned into his mouth as Shawn reached between them to grope the front of Carlton’s jeans.
“I really think we should have a pineapple at the top of the tree,” Shawn murmured against Carlton’s lips. Carlton groaned and turned them again, pressing Shawn to the wall. The nearby picture frame rattled, but neither man particularly cared. Carlton leered down at Shawn and Shawn couldn’t help but grin back up at him.
“Isn’t a star more…traditional?” Carlton asked, tilting his head to suck lightly on Shawn’s neck. He let out a surprised breath as he found himself against the wall again.
“You’re screwing a male psychic…” (Shawn chose to ignore Carlton’s muttered “fake psychic”) “…I think tradition’s a little out the closet.” Carlton pulled back enough to look at Shawn in confusion.
“Don’t you mean ‘window’?” he asked. Shawn rolled his eyes and dropped to his knees, quickly undoing the fly of Carlton’s jeans. “Oh,” Carlton said as he got Shawn’s point. He groaned as Shawn placed a soft kiss on the head of his hardening cock.
“Are you trying to…sway my opinion…with…Jesus…sexual favors?” Carlton asked as Shawn used his mouth to coax him to full hardness. Shawn hummed in agreement and smirked to himself as Carlton’s knees shook. “Sweet Justice,” Carlton gasped, pushing a hand into Shawn’s hair. Shawn released his partner and stared up at him.
“Is my method working?” he asked with a barely suppressed grin as he used his hand to stroke Carlton’s erection. Carlton groaned and let his head fall back against the wall.
“You’re a fucking bastard, Shawn,” Carlton panted. Shawn grinned and pulled himself up using Carlton’s hips so he could kiss the man’s mouth.
“Sounds good to me,” Shawn whispered before sucking Carlton’s earlobe.
Shawn’s eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly found himself falling backward onto the couch. Slender fingers worked quickly on Shawn’s fly and Shawn lifted his hips obligingly to let the fabric get pulled away. He gasped as Carlton’s mouth closed around his erection, lips over teeth sliding down toward the base.
“Shit,” he hissed. He groaned again as Carlton chuckled around him. “You can’t…godDAMN…use my powers…against me. Fuck!” Carlton rested a settling hand on Shawn’s stomach as the younger man fidgeted.
“You are…so cheating,” Shawn whined as Carlton’s tongue swiped along the tip of his cock. Carlton released him and Shawn let his legs fall further apart, letting Carlton fit between them as he leaned up to kiss him. After several long moments of heavy kissing (and more than a little friction) between the two men, Carlton brought up a hand, ready to spit in it.
“Wait!” Shawn said. He grinned when Carlton quirked an eyebrow. The eyebrow raised impossibly higher as Shawn pulled a bottle of lube out from under the couch.
“You stashed lube under the couch?” Carlton asked huskily, even as he accepted the bottle form Shawn.
“Hey, last time we didn’t have a bottle under the couch, your handcuffs suffered, remember?” Carlton nodded seriously.
“Point taken.” He grinned as he made Shawn moan, fingers working to ease Shawn open. Carlton teased gently, knowing his lover was ready, but willing to make him beg for it. Shawn glared at him. Carlton made the glare slip away as he curled his fingers slightly.
“For fuck’s sake Carlton!” Shawn growled. With a wide grin, Carlton thrust into him.
Shawn moaned low and long, arms and legs wrapping around Carlton to pull the man deeper into him. Carlton bent his head to kiss him deeply, smiling when Shawn began to squirm impatiently. Carlton moved slowly, frustrating the younger man that much more. He leaned back a bit to watch as Shawn began to stroke his own erection. The younger man smiled up at him, reaching under his shirt to run a freehand down Carlton’s chest and stomach. Carlton obliged him by pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor.
“I thought…for my Christmas present…we agreed…ooh…you were getting my name…tattooed across your chest,” Shawn panted as Carlton moved inside him slowly. Carlton gave a sharp thrust and grinned when Shawn’s eyes widened before losing focus and rolling slightly.
“Where’s my name going then?” Carlton asked, pushing a hand underneath Shawn’s shirt to search out a nipple. Shawn squirmed wickedly beneath him and Carlton froze, forcing himself to take a steadying breath. Shawn smiled innocently up at him.
“Wherever you want it, Lassie,” he replied. Carlton growled lightly and bent down to kiss Shawn again. Shawn shifted his hips and Carlton moaned, grabbing on to them.
“This is going to end quickly,” Carlton warned against Shawn’s neck. He felt Shawn nip at his ear and sat back. Shawn grinned up at him, his hand still stroking his own cock.
“Do you think I really care?” he asked. He gasped as Carlton gave him another sharp thrust. “Just fuck me, Carlton,” he moaned, his back arching slightly. He yanked Carlton down for another brief kiss before pushing him back. Carlton tightened his grip on Shawn’s hips and picked up the pace, watching in interest as Shawn bit his bottom lip.
Shawn’s legs tightened around him and Carlton moved faster, thrusting hard and deep into Shawn.
“Fuck yeah,” Shawn moaned. “Harder.” There were times Carlton was infinitely glad Shawn Spencer couldn’t stay still to save his life, mostly when he shifted his hips just like that.
It wasn’t long before Carlton felt himself coming apart inside of Shawn. “Jesus,” he gasped, his forehead falling heavily against Shawn’s neck as he fought to catch his breath. Shawn was still squirming beneath him and Carlton eventually caught on, reaching between them to join Shawn’s hand on his straining erection.
Shawn groaned and let Carlton take over. He was already so close and, as Carlton applied just the right amount of pressure, Shawn came, gasping his name and adding a new stickiness to the sweat already between them.
The two men lay still for a moment, breathing each other in. Carlton was just lifting his head to kiss Shawn on the mouth when the doorbell rang.
“Shit, pizza!” Shawn exclaimed, squirming to get out from under Carlton.
“Pizza!?” Carlton asked, incredulous as he let Shawn go. “When did you order pizza?” Both men scrambled for their pants. Carlton struggled to get his t-shirt back on.
“Right before you challenged my most holy placement of the pineapple?” Shawn suggested. “Where the hell’s my wallet?” Carlton sighed and stood.
“I’ll get it,” he offered, shuffling for the door as he pulled out his own wallet.
“If he’s cute, invite him in!” Shawn advised. Carlton was rolling his eyes as he pulled the door open.
“Ms. Eaton!” he squeaked in surprise. The elderly woman smiled sweetly at him and Carlton fought the strong desire to blush scarlet.
“Hello, Carlton,” she greeted politely. Carlton prayed Shawn looked less disheveled as he heard the other man appear behind him. “Shawn.”
“Susie!” Shawn said happily. “You’re looking exceptionally stunning today.” Carlton fought the urge to roll his eyes as the old woman beamed at Shawn.
“Oh hush,” she mock-scolded. She held out a tin with a happy snowman on the lid. “I baked you boys some cookies.”
“Aw thank you.” Shawn accepted the tin and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.
“Yes, thank you,” Carlton agreed, trying very hard not to think about where Shawn’s mouth had been not very long before.
“Not a problem,” Ms. Eaton said. “Just wanted to drop them off before the girls came by for cards. You two take care. And have a Merry Christmas!” She started to turn away as the men returned the same to her. Carlton’s sigh of relief ended prematurely.
“By the way dears,” Ms. Eaton said, turning back to the two men. “If you bring by some fabric, I’d be happy to make you some curtains.” With a wink, she shuffled across the porch. Shawn and Carlton slowly looked at each other.
“You don’t think she…” Shawn began.
“She’s blind as a bat; I’m sure she just thought we were…”
Shawn grinned before interrupting. “Decorating the tree?”
Carlton got an odd look from the (not cute) delivery boy with Shawn doubled over with laughter behind him.
“He’s filled with Christmas spirit,” Carlton dismissed, shoving the money at the kid and taking the pizza.
“Get over here, you old Scrooge,” Shawn called out as Carlton pushed the door shut. “I think someone else needs to be filled with the joy of the season.” Carlton grinned and happily set the pizza aside.
He didn’t even care much that a pineapple was now resting at the top of his tree.
/end
TITLE: And a Pineapple in a Pine Tree
RATING: NC-17/FRAO
CHARACTERS: Shawn, Carlton and the neighbor lady
WORD COUNT: 1,800ish
WARNINGS: This would be smut. Smut without a plot...but a shot of seasonal good wishes.
SUMMARY: What happens when two men get together to decorate the tree.
AO3 Link
Disclaimer: Christmas is coming up...but I'm not counting on any of this being under the tree. :( (This is my way of saying: I don't own this.)
Author's Note: What can I say; I got bored and thought "Hmm...I could use a Holiday Themed Shassie fic" and this came up. I brought back the little old lady I used in Feel Like Makin' Love because she cracked me up the first time.
Just think of this as my little HAPPY HOLIDAYS! to the fandom. :)
Unbeta-ed; slightly proofread. I don't think it's my best smut...but I don't think it's too bad. Constructive criticism is welcome.
-----------------------------
“You want to put a pineapple on top of our Christmas tree?” Carlton asked Shawn incredulously.
“Yeah! It’ll look totally awesome!” Shawn said, practically bouncing on his feet.
“A pineapple…on a Christmas tree…?” Carlton repeated slowly. Shawn rolled his eyes and snatched the fruit in question from Carlton’s hands.
“This is a pineapple and that is a pine tree,” Shawn said, very slowly. Sometimes it took patience to work with the detective.
“It’s plastic, Shawn,” Carlton corrected.
“Lassie!” Shawn whined, rolling his eyes again in frustration. He missed the wicked grin Carlton flashed his way before Shawn suddenly found himself being pulled tightly against the other man. “You frustrate me on purpose, don’t you?” Shawn said with a pout as Carlton planted a kiss on his neck.
“Mmm…you don’t do the same?” Carlton retorted, a mischievous spark in his eyes. Shawn couldn’t help but grin in reply. Letting the pineapple fall with a THUNK on the coffee table, he slid one of his hands to the back of Carlton’s neck.
“I would’ve let you put the pineapple on the tree,” he said in a superior tone. Carlton scoffed and pulled back, forcing Shawn to drop his hand.
“You’re the one who wanted it there in the first place,” Carlton pointed out.
“Yes, but, I let you put the handcuffs on the tree…” Carlton raised an eyebrow.
“And where are they now?” Shawn had the decency to look at least a little sheepish.
“Behind the incredibly heavy, incredibly antique, piano that requires several large, burly, Irishmen to move…”
“And why is that Shawn?” Carlton asked, slowly reentering Shawn’s very limited personal space. Shawn took a playful step back.
“Because someone insisted we use them and then flung them across the room in the heat of the moment…” Carlton was pressed against him now, their faces only inches apart.
“And who exactly was that…?” Carlton purred before placing a soft kiss just below Shawn’s ear. Shawn couldn’t help but shiver.
“It might’ve been me…” he croaked as Carlton’s tongue slid along his neck.
“Mmm. Might’ve?” Carlton pulled back and quirked an eyebrow.
“Shut up,” Shawn ordered, grabbing him by the back of the neck to pull their lips together. He could feel Carlton’s smirk even as he pressed his tongue into the detective’s mouth. It inspired Shawn to turn them with a growl, forcing Carlton’s back against the wall. Carlton moaned into his mouth as Shawn reached between them to grope the front of Carlton’s jeans.
“I really think we should have a pineapple at the top of the tree,” Shawn murmured against Carlton’s lips. Carlton groaned and turned them again, pressing Shawn to the wall. The nearby picture frame rattled, but neither man particularly cared. Carlton leered down at Shawn and Shawn couldn’t help but grin back up at him.
“Isn’t a star more…traditional?” Carlton asked, tilting his head to suck lightly on Shawn’s neck. He let out a surprised breath as he found himself against the wall again.
“You’re screwing a male psychic…” (Shawn chose to ignore Carlton’s muttered “fake psychic”) “…I think tradition’s a little out the closet.” Carlton pulled back enough to look at Shawn in confusion.
“Don’t you mean ‘window’?” he asked. Shawn rolled his eyes and dropped to his knees, quickly undoing the fly of Carlton’s jeans. “Oh,” Carlton said as he got Shawn’s point. He groaned as Shawn placed a soft kiss on the head of his hardening cock.
“Are you trying to…sway my opinion…with…Jesus…sexual favors?” Carlton asked as Shawn used his mouth to coax him to full hardness. Shawn hummed in agreement and smirked to himself as Carlton’s knees shook. “Sweet Justice,” Carlton gasped, pushing a hand into Shawn’s hair. Shawn released his partner and stared up at him.
“Is my method working?” he asked with a barely suppressed grin as he used his hand to stroke Carlton’s erection. Carlton groaned and let his head fall back against the wall.
“You’re a fucking bastard, Shawn,” Carlton panted. Shawn grinned and pulled himself up using Carlton’s hips so he could kiss the man’s mouth.
“Sounds good to me,” Shawn whispered before sucking Carlton’s earlobe.
Shawn’s eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly found himself falling backward onto the couch. Slender fingers worked quickly on Shawn’s fly and Shawn lifted his hips obligingly to let the fabric get pulled away. He gasped as Carlton’s mouth closed around his erection, lips over teeth sliding down toward the base.
“Shit,” he hissed. He groaned again as Carlton chuckled around him. “You can’t…godDAMN…use my powers…against me. Fuck!” Carlton rested a settling hand on Shawn’s stomach as the younger man fidgeted.
“You are…so cheating,” Shawn whined as Carlton’s tongue swiped along the tip of his cock. Carlton released him and Shawn let his legs fall further apart, letting Carlton fit between them as he leaned up to kiss him. After several long moments of heavy kissing (and more than a little friction) between the two men, Carlton brought up a hand, ready to spit in it.
“Wait!” Shawn said. He grinned when Carlton quirked an eyebrow. The eyebrow raised impossibly higher as Shawn pulled a bottle of lube out from under the couch.
“You stashed lube under the couch?” Carlton asked huskily, even as he accepted the bottle form Shawn.
“Hey, last time we didn’t have a bottle under the couch, your handcuffs suffered, remember?” Carlton nodded seriously.
“Point taken.” He grinned as he made Shawn moan, fingers working to ease Shawn open. Carlton teased gently, knowing his lover was ready, but willing to make him beg for it. Shawn glared at him. Carlton made the glare slip away as he curled his fingers slightly.
“For fuck’s sake Carlton!” Shawn growled. With a wide grin, Carlton thrust into him.
Shawn moaned low and long, arms and legs wrapping around Carlton to pull the man deeper into him. Carlton bent his head to kiss him deeply, smiling when Shawn began to squirm impatiently. Carlton moved slowly, frustrating the younger man that much more. He leaned back a bit to watch as Shawn began to stroke his own erection. The younger man smiled up at him, reaching under his shirt to run a freehand down Carlton’s chest and stomach. Carlton obliged him by pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor.
“I thought…for my Christmas present…we agreed…ooh…you were getting my name…tattooed across your chest,” Shawn panted as Carlton moved inside him slowly. Carlton gave a sharp thrust and grinned when Shawn’s eyes widened before losing focus and rolling slightly.
“Where’s my name going then?” Carlton asked, pushing a hand underneath Shawn’s shirt to search out a nipple. Shawn squirmed wickedly beneath him and Carlton froze, forcing himself to take a steadying breath. Shawn smiled innocently up at him.
“Wherever you want it, Lassie,” he replied. Carlton growled lightly and bent down to kiss Shawn again. Shawn shifted his hips and Carlton moaned, grabbing on to them.
“This is going to end quickly,” Carlton warned against Shawn’s neck. He felt Shawn nip at his ear and sat back. Shawn grinned up at him, his hand still stroking his own cock.
“Do you think I really care?” he asked. He gasped as Carlton gave him another sharp thrust. “Just fuck me, Carlton,” he moaned, his back arching slightly. He yanked Carlton down for another brief kiss before pushing him back. Carlton tightened his grip on Shawn’s hips and picked up the pace, watching in interest as Shawn bit his bottom lip.
Shawn’s legs tightened around him and Carlton moved faster, thrusting hard and deep into Shawn.
“Fuck yeah,” Shawn moaned. “Harder.” There were times Carlton was infinitely glad Shawn Spencer couldn’t stay still to save his life, mostly when he shifted his hips just like that.
It wasn’t long before Carlton felt himself coming apart inside of Shawn. “Jesus,” he gasped, his forehead falling heavily against Shawn’s neck as he fought to catch his breath. Shawn was still squirming beneath him and Carlton eventually caught on, reaching between them to join Shawn’s hand on his straining erection.
Shawn groaned and let Carlton take over. He was already so close and, as Carlton applied just the right amount of pressure, Shawn came, gasping his name and adding a new stickiness to the sweat already between them.
The two men lay still for a moment, breathing each other in. Carlton was just lifting his head to kiss Shawn on the mouth when the doorbell rang.
“Shit, pizza!” Shawn exclaimed, squirming to get out from under Carlton.
“Pizza!?” Carlton asked, incredulous as he let Shawn go. “When did you order pizza?” Both men scrambled for their pants. Carlton struggled to get his t-shirt back on.
“Right before you challenged my most holy placement of the pineapple?” Shawn suggested. “Where the hell’s my wallet?” Carlton sighed and stood.
“I’ll get it,” he offered, shuffling for the door as he pulled out his own wallet.
“If he’s cute, invite him in!” Shawn advised. Carlton was rolling his eyes as he pulled the door open.
“Ms. Eaton!” he squeaked in surprise. The elderly woman smiled sweetly at him and Carlton fought the strong desire to blush scarlet.
“Hello, Carlton,” she greeted politely. Carlton prayed Shawn looked less disheveled as he heard the other man appear behind him. “Shawn.”
“Susie!” Shawn said happily. “You’re looking exceptionally stunning today.” Carlton fought the urge to roll his eyes as the old woman beamed at Shawn.
“Oh hush,” she mock-scolded. She held out a tin with a happy snowman on the lid. “I baked you boys some cookies.”
“Aw thank you.” Shawn accepted the tin and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.
“Yes, thank you,” Carlton agreed, trying very hard not to think about where Shawn’s mouth had been not very long before.
“Not a problem,” Ms. Eaton said. “Just wanted to drop them off before the girls came by for cards. You two take care. And have a Merry Christmas!” She started to turn away as the men returned the same to her. Carlton’s sigh of relief ended prematurely.
“By the way dears,” Ms. Eaton said, turning back to the two men. “If you bring by some fabric, I’d be happy to make you some curtains.” With a wink, she shuffled across the porch. Shawn and Carlton slowly looked at each other.
“You don’t think she…” Shawn began.
“She’s blind as a bat; I’m sure she just thought we were…”
Shawn grinned before interrupting. “Decorating the tree?”
Carlton got an odd look from the (not cute) delivery boy with Shawn doubled over with laughter behind him.
“He’s filled with Christmas spirit,” Carlton dismissed, shoving the money at the kid and taking the pizza.
“Get over here, you old Scrooge,” Shawn called out as Carlton pushed the door shut. “I think someone else needs to be filled with the joy of the season.” Carlton grinned and happily set the pizza aside.
He didn’t even care much that a pineapple was now resting at the top of his tree.
/end