Comments | beexsam: Fic: That Still Small Voice: Chapter Four

lady_oneiros in beexsam

Fic: That Still Small Voice: Chapter Four

Sep 15, 2007 21:48

Why, yes. This chapter is awful. But I'm sick of fighting with it and wish to move on to the rest of the story. However, if any of you have any ideas on how to improve it, please let me know. If I can revise it to my satisfaction, I will repost it later. Also, much thanks to lawrencered for giving me some feedback on this chapter

Title: That Still Small ( Read more... )

rated-r, poster: lady_oneiros, fic

Comments 21

robin99 September 16 2007, 05:09:49 UTC

"I know it’s a cookbook."
FTW!

I'm getting scared for Sam.

yukihoshino September 16 2007, 05:37:57 UTC

*cheers* Glorious work so far! And the whole, "I know it's a cookbook" comment was truely wonderful!!! *huggles Ratchet and Wheeljack* And you brought WheelJack into the story!!!

lemonflav_lopfe September 16 2007, 05:42:15 UTC

Bwahahahahaha! The Twilight Zone reference was classic! It slapped me like a dead fish to the face and I couldn't stop laughing until I cried.

I completely love the integration of many different facets of language into this piece - poetry, nursery rhymes, even our lateral logic - which combined with giant alien robots and spark possession (if that's what it is) make a very interesting read.

I've been hooked by this story since you started posting it, and each chapter brings me closer and closer to madness as it taunts me with its obscured plot. What in the holy blazes is going on with Megatron? Have we got some 'eternal spark' issues like with Starscream? Or... gah...

Keep writing, wonderful person, you.

lemonflav_lopfe September 16 2007, 05:45:54 UTC

Oh, yah... I forgot to add... I <3 Wheeljack. ^_^

Should make for some interesting explosions.

black_shiro September 16 2007, 14:26:12 UTC

I must say your story is very unique, very original. It's kind of dark and angsty and your style is marvelous! You're an excellent author so keep up the good work!:) And of course please post next chapter soon because waiting is killing me! V_V

evil_dm September 16 2007, 14:50:36 UTC

Excellent symbolism in this chapter, even if the creepy factor wasn't as high. Of course, with the deviation to the philosophical, it kept the tension going, wonderfully broken by Sam's irreverent comment (which I didn't understand until I read the comments, but still breaks the tension ( ... )