Glee Fic: The Truth Never Set Me Free (1/1)
Title: The Truth Never Set Me Free (1/1)
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Rachel/Finn, Puck/Quinn, Santana/Brittany
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to Journey 1x22
Word Count: 6,075
Summary: We’re locked in.
A/N: Many thanks to the wonderful alifab and missymeggins for putting up with the continuous emails and harassment from me, so I could get this right.
There was a loud roar that echoed through the halls of Mckinley High; the soft stamping from the bleachers vibrating through the floor. Rachel looked behind her hesitantly, hugging herself tightly, before continuing through the main corridor. The only light came from the thin strip of safety fluorescent lights on either side of the roof. She pushed open the doors of the library, and flicked the switch at the entrance, illuminating the shelves.
It was the first football game of the season and Rachel should have been outside. She should have been first in the stands, rugged up and eagerly anticipating her boyfriend’s first game. That’s where she should have been. But after yesterday, she couldn’t bear even looking at him. Because suddenly all her insecurities and fears, the solid foundation she thought they had built their relationship on had tumbled down around her. For once in her life, she didn’t think she was overreacting. Hurt was an understatement. Mortified, upset, angry, frustrated. She didn’t know what to think anymore. But she knew that if Santana Lopez ever spoke to her again, she would break her vow of non-violence.
Sighing, Rachel moved over to the music sheet selections and took the first one off the shelf. She needed to be productive. She needed to stop thinking about it.
She needed to concentrate.
***
Finn tossed his helmet and chest padding onto the seat next to him in the men’s change rooms. He could hear how packed the bleachers were getting outside from in the small confines of the room. He should have been nervous, first big game of the season. A clean slate. The chance for redemption. But Finn couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the fact that the one person he wanted to be outside cheering him on wouldn’t be.
He hadn’t spoken to her since yesterday afternoon. He hadn’t understood what all the silent treatment was about until he saw Santana. And she confessed to spilling the beans about their relations months ago. He had tried to talk to Rachel, to explain, but it hadn’t lead to anything other than Rachel bursting into tears and him feeling guiltier than before.
He kicked his duffel bag on the ground, staring aimlessly at the red locker in front of him. He didn’t want to do this. Not with everything else that was going on at the moment. Sure, he was the Quarterback. Sure, everything relied on him for a change, but for the first time he didn’t care about anything other than making this right. Making them right. How the hell he was going to do it, well, that was anybody’s guess.
Finn was startled out of his thoughts by the appearance of Karofsky and the other douchebags that he didn’t give a crap about. They burst into the room, yelling some insults and clapping each other on the back. Finn smirked in reply to their stares, to shut them up more than anything. He didn’t want to deal with their crap tonight.
“Heard you lost the Glee chick, Finn. Screwing Santana? Didn’t think you had it in you,” Karofsky said, dumping his bag into his locker and bumping fists with the equally large footballer next to him.
Finn gritted his teeth, continuing to stare at the ground. The last thing he needed was to get expelled for beating the crap out of him.
“Shut the hell up, Karofsky,” Finn replied, grabbing his bag off the floor and flinging open his locker door. He dumped it inside, slamming it shut.
He ignored the laughter next to him. He heard Karofsky mutter “…without that loser,” under his breath, and the laugher grew louder. Suddenly the sound coming from the crowds outside wasn’t as appealing as it used to be. He ripped off his jersey and threw it at Karofsky.
“You know what, this isn’t worth it,” he spat, grabbing his T-Shirt and jacket.
He threw them on as he walked out of the room. The roar of the crowd grew louder.
He needed to find Rachel.
***
“Stupid freaking moron,” Puck muttered under his breath, sticking his head inside the men’s bathroom.
The last thing Noah Puckerman wanted to do on game night was chase after Finn Hudson. Sure, they were on speaking terms now, but just because Finn decided to chuck a tantrum didn’t mean that it was his job to fix his mess.
Realistically, Puck needed to find him. The team would be screwed without him. They just barely managed to not get kicked out of the season first round last year without him, and Puck needed to win this season. He needed this year to mean something. He was sick to death of being called gay and “showtunes” by the other guys. This was the year of Puck. Screw the rest of them.
He groaned out loud as he kicked open the door to the choir room. It seemed to be the place Finn would go to have a cry. When the search turned up with nothing, he kicked the wall. What the hell was Finn thinking bailing thirty minutes before game times? Coach would freaking <>fry him.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Puck froze, throwing his head back in annoyance. Just what he needed. Quinn.
He turned around and saw her standing three feet behind him, her arms crossed over her chest. He knew that look. He despised that look. And he did not have time for that look.
“Not now, Quinn. I’ve got like about five seconds to find Finn before Coach Tenaka grills my ass,” he replied, turning back around and walking the corridor.
He rolled his eyes when he heard her soft footsteps behind him. Of course she would follow him. He knew he was in the shit, but he had done a wonderful job all day avoiding the inevitable argument.
“So, what, you’re just going to ignore me? That’s a bit rich - I’m the one who is pissed at you. And rightly so. I can’t believe you ditched me last night.” Quinn ranted behind him. He stopped suddenly, poking his head into an empty classroom. He thought he had heard voices.
“Seriously? You are seriously going to do this? You left me in the middle of the movie theatre. You left with Santana. What the hell is wrong with you? I can’t believe I ever believed a freaking word you said. - you’re an as-“
“Just shut-up-“ Puck said, growing increasingly frustrated. He couldn’t find Finn, the game was due to start in twenty minutes and Quinn was riding his ass. He stopped suddenly, holding out his arm to stop Quinn on the warpath to block his tracks. He held up his hand when she began to object.
“I think he’s in here-“ Puck said, pushing open the library door.
***
Rachel sat in the middle of the table, ten music books sprawled open in front of her. She stared at the pages, squinting. She could hear music outside now, soft and faint from inside the library, but still noticeable. She wondered if the game had started yet. If Finn had started yet. She shook her head, staring back down at the page in front of her.
She was startled when she library door opened. More startled by the fact that if she was caught in her after school hours this would remain on her personal record. She spun around and stopped suddenly, staring at Finn as he took a few steps into the room.
“Hi.” He said softly, taking another step closer. Rachel froze, stunned. She felt a lump gather in her throat and she shook her head, turning around and grabbing her books. She piled them into her arms and walked, staring at the ground and not at Finn in front of her. She headed towards the door, almost making it past him when he intercepted her, grabbing her around her arms.
She wavered slightly, shivering at the contact. She continued to look away from him, shaking her head.
“Don’t-“
“Don’t what? Talk about it? We need to talk about this.”
Rachel shook her head again. “No. We don’t.”
She swallowed, attempting to put a plug on her emotions. The lump in her throat grew larger and she sniffed, squirming out of his grasp.
“Rachel…” Finn said softly, almost begging her.
She finally looked at him. “I can’t, Finn,” she began, her voice breaking slightly. “I can’t do this now. I can’t look at you right now without wanting to cry my eyes out.”
She stood there, holding her books as tight as she could to her chest. Finn took a step back and stared at her. Noise rippled through the room, breaking the silence.
“Finn! We’ve gotta go!”
They barely noticed the door swing open. Puck stood in the middle of the library with Quinn behind him. Finn groaned and let go of Rachel’s hand.
“Not now, Puck!”
Puck raised his eyebrows. “Not now? Are you serious? The game starts in fifteen minutes. Coach is going to kill you, then me it if we get there with five minutes to spare, so lets go.”
Rachel sniffed, looking up at him. “You should go. I’m going home.”
Finn turned. “Don’t blow me off.”
Rachel spun around. “I’m not. I’m not the one to blame here, Finn. All I’m asking is that you give me some space, is that so hard?”
“For fuck’s sake,” Puck groaned, charging forward and grabbing Finn by the shoulders. He ushered him towards the door. Finn broke off, pushing Puck.
“Get the hell off me.”
“Get the hell off you? What part of WE HAVE TO GO do you not understand?”
“Stop it!” Quinn yelled.
Rachel, startled, stared at her. She had only just realised that Quinn was there. The boys backed away from each other, still shooting daggers at each other. Rachel shook her head moving back toward the table. She grabbed her bag that was hanging off the chair and moved towards the door. She froze.
“Hey kids, what’s all the excitement?”
Santana smirked, her hands on her hips as she stared at the four people in front of her. Brittany hovered behind her, shutting the door. She was on her way to the football field when she heard the voices. Smiling, she moved deeper into the room, which had fallen silent.
“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue, Berry?” Santana asked as innocently as she could possibly make it, circling around her. Rachel gripped her bag tighter.
“Screw this, I’m out of here,” Rachel said, taking a step towards the door.
Finn stepped forward. “Rachel …”
“No,” Rachel said, spinning around and pointing at him. “Let me go.”
“Yeah, Finn. Let her go. You’ve got me to fall back on, anyway,” Santana laughed, folding her arms over her chest.
Rachel stopped short of the door. She turned around and glared at Santana, who was smirking back at her. Then she stared at Finn, who looked at her helplessly. She bit her lip and grabbed the door handle, needing to escape. She pushed, hard, but the door didn’t open. Taken aback, she grabbed it again and wiggled, pushing harder.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Rachel moaned, tossing her bag on the ground and wiggling the door harder with both hands. Finally she gave up, kicking the door.
“We’re locked in.”
Finn moved up behind her and gave it a tug. Again, the door didn’t move. Rachel shook her head and moved away from the door, while Finn continued to try and wiggle it open.
“What the hell?” Puck said, shoving Finn out of the way and having a go himself. When it wouldn’t give, he kicked it. The sound was echoed by the sound of cheering coming from the field.
“Great. Just great. We’re going to be stuck here the entire first game of the season all because you” he pointed at Finn, “couldn’t hold it in for one freaking hour.”
Finn lunged at him, “Bite me, Puckerman.”
Quinn stepped between the two before a fight broke out. This wasn’t exactly the most ideal situation. Her and Finn weren’t exactly on great terms, neither with Rachel and Puck was just a constant pain in her ass. Santana was just the devil in a cheerleaders uniform and Brittany - well…
“Wait…” Quinn stopped, turning to face Brittany. “You were the last at the door. What did you do?”
Brittany shrugged, looking around at Santana. “I didn’t know locking it would lock it, you know?”
“It locks from the outside, how could you not realise that?” Rachel asked through her teeth, looking increasingly upset by the minute.
“She just didn’t. Stop taking your sexual frustration out on her,” Santana responded, eying Rachel.
Rachel stepped forward. “Back the hell off, Santana.”
Santana took a step forward, towering over Rachel. “Just because you’ve got my sloppy seconds, doesn’t mean you’re better than me.”
Rachel stared at her, her gaze unwavering. “You think you’re better than everyone else? Then you should learn how to take it if you are going to dish it. The truth is, you’re just a scared little girl who steals everyone else’s relationships because you don’t have any that are meaningful in your life.”
Santana glared at her. “You don’t know what the hell you are talking about, Berry. So I suggest your shut your fugly little mouth before I shut it for you.”
Finn stepped in and grabbed Rachel around the shoulders. She squirmed out of his grasp, backing away from him. The silence was broken by another loud roar from outside.
“Sylvester is going to kill us,” Santana muttered under her breath.
“Oh, how sad for you,” Rachel replied sarcastically, dumping her bag on the table. “I’m going to find a way out of here.”
“I’ll come with you,” Quinn piped up, following Rachel into the book stacks to attempt to find a fire exit.
Finn walked up to Santana. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Santana smirked at him. “I didn’t do anything, Romeo. It’s your own fault you didn’t tell her to begin with.”
“But, what? You had to humiliate her before I even got the chance?” Finn responded.
Santana shrugged. “Whatever. We need to get out of here. If we miss one more minute, Sylvester is going to kill us, and Tenaka is going to kill you, so I suggest that we work together to get the hell out of here.”
“I’m with her,” Puck said, grabbing Finn by the shirt and tugging him into the opposite direction.
Santana watched them walk away and smirked, grabbing Brittany by the arm.
This would be interesting.
***
“I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
Rachel pulled at the emergency exit door, groaning when the lock didn’t budge. So much for “emergency” exit. This most certainly qualified as an emergency. The noise from the crowds outside served as a soundtrack to the occasion, a reminder of what was a stake. Them being stuck in here would mean major consequences for Finn and Puck, not to mention Brittany and Santana. But Rachel didn’t give a crap what was at stake. She just wanted to get out of here.
Quinn glared at her. “You think you’ve got it bad? I’m stuck in here with Puck. Puck! I’ve got it way worse!”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “You guys continually fight. It’s nothing new. But me? I can’t look at Finn and Santana at the moment without wanting to cry. So I think I’m going to win the whole “woe is me” quota for this room.”
“You know this isn’t my ideal situation either. Puck is a douche and the father of my baby I gave up for adoption to your biological mother, you and I are certainly not what you would call friends and the rest of them …” Quinn turned her head slightly “way too much history,” she said, sinking down to the ground, resting her head against the wall.
Rachel turned around to face her. “You don’t need to be defensive all the time. I’m not a terrible person. I’m not. I know I can be insane and demanding and crazy, but I know who I am and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. Maybe if you tried to look past my voice and attitude you would see that I’m just like you. I’m just as insecure as you. I care about what people think about me, maybe a little too much. Just like you. We are more alike than you think, Quinn.”
Quinn stared at Rachel for a moment, taken aback but what she had said. She was judgemental, she knew that. God, she knew that. She was a cliché, if ever there was one. The bitchy cheerleader. Well, former cheerleader. She was trying to change. She really was. And really, for Quinn it was easier to aim all her anger at Rachel. She was an obvious target.
“I know you don’t like me very much, and I don’t blame you. But I’m on your side Quinn,” Rachel finished quietly, staring at her for a moment. She had her back to the door, resting against it.
“I’m sorry.”
It was quiet and Rachel barely heard it, but she nodded at Quinn. “It’s okay.”
“It sucks what Santana did.”
Rachel took a sharp breath. “Yeah, well it sucks what Finn did too.”
Quin nodded from the ground. “Yeah it does. But he really loves you, Rachel. Like really loves you. Doesn’t that deserve another chance?”
Rachel swallowed, blinking. She didn’t want to start crying, not now, not in front of Quinn. She bit her lip and stared beyond the stacks. “Maybe. I’m not sure anymore.”
Quinn nodded again before picking herself up off the ground. She gestured for Rachel to follow her, peering out beyond the stacks.
“Come on, lets go see if we can find another way out of here.”
***
Puck groaned, kicking the door. The other emergency exit was a fail - there wasn’t even a window to kick open. The crowd outside roared with cheers, infuriating him further.
“Fuck this shit. I don’t need to be here. We’re missing the first game of the season all because you had to go all hormonal. Seriously Finn,” Puck semi-finished, kicking the door again as a final word.
Finn rolled his eyes and sat down on the bench next to the emergency exit. He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a groan of frustration. This was not the time for Puck to piss him off. He was getting closer and closer to shoving him into the stacks with each word that came out of his mouth. He didn’t need to deal with Quinn, Santana and Puck, all at the same time. The only person he wanted to deal with was Rachel and at that exact moment, being stuck in the library amplified the situation.
“I don’t know what to do,” Finn said hesitantly, questioning whether talking to Puck about this was the right thing to do as soon as the words came out of his mouth.
“So you screwed Santana, so what? I did as well.” Puck replied, staring at the door still, as if attempting to figure out a way to outsmart the lock.
Finn glared at him. “You are such a douchebag.”
“Whatever. Just help me with this Goddamn door.”
Finn stood up and grabbed the other side of the door, shoving it at the same time as Puck. The door still didn’t move. They tried again, mostly out of frustration, but again nothing moved. Finn stepped back, putting his hands up in the air.
“We’re just going to have to wait until someone comes in - or walks past the front door,” Finn said, staring at Puck as he shoved the door angrily.
“Screw that! I’m not just going to sit around here with YOU lot and watch you get into a massive sob fest while the game is on outside,” Puck said, walking up to Finn and shoving him.
Finn pushed him back and backed away. “Don’t do it, Puck.” He said, turning around and walking away from him.
Puck stood there for a moment, staring at Finn walking back into the stacks. He sighed and kicked the door again. This was the worst possibly day of his life, he seriously thought. Stuck here with him. And Quinn. And Rachel with her annoying whining and tears. And Quinn. Fuck, he knew he screwed up last night, he knew it the second he got in the car with Santana. He didn’t understand why she had such a pull on him. He loved Quinn. He did. But things had changed with them over the Summer, and she had said she wanted space. So he gave her space. Apparantly that meant not being with anyone else, but how the hell was he supposed to know that?
Girls, he thought, shaking his head.
They’re all fucked up.
***
“I’m bored now.”
Santana sat on the bench opposite Brittany, studying her fingernails. Sure, coming in here during World War III seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, but now it was just plain boring. Santana sighed staring up at the ceiling. She sometimes wondered if being that big of a bitch was worth it. Really, she was mad at Puck yesterday, and at Finn for begging her not to tell Rachel about, well, you know. So she blurted out that she had slept with Finn to Rachel. And she would never tell anyone this, but she felt a little guilty about it.
But she was sick of everyone thinking that she was a second choice. Why the hell wasn’t she a first? With Puck, it was always Quinn. And Finn, well, it was always Rachel. And for once in her life she wanted to be someone’s always. Aside from Brittany.
She looked down at Brittany, who was thumbing through a pop up book she had managed to get from the Early Childhood section. She smiled as she fingered through the book. Santana knew that Brittany was her always, anyway.
“Where did you get that?” Santana asked her, smiling.
Brittany looked up, grinning. “Behind the desk. It’s heaps cool, you should see.”
Santana reached across the table for the book as a huge roar erupted from the stadium, vibrating through the library.
“At least they seem to be having a good night,” she muttered under her breath as Rachel and Quinn appeared out of the shelves.
Rachel moved past Brittany and Santana silently, not looking at either of them. She stood on her tiptoes at the front door, looking out the glass. She stood like that for at least three minutes before she turned around.
“We’re just going to have to wait,” Finn’s voice appeared as he walked into view, staring directly at Rachel with a pleading look in his eyes.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself and moving over to the seat near the door, keeping distance between herself and everyone else. She was hesitant, nervous and still upset. The situation was amplified by the fact that Santana could just open her mouth at any moment and blurt out another indiscretion that would taint her relationship. It annoyed her the power Santana almost had. She knew things about Finn that Rachel hadn’t figured out yet. They hadn’t slept with each other yet, they were waiting, but Santana had already experienced that with him. What if Finn compared her to Santana? What if she was terrible? What if there entire relationship was based on conquest? This thought was ridiculous, and Rachel knew it, but it didn’t stop her from thinking about it.
The room was silent. Brittany was still fingering through the book, Santana watching everyone, waiting for someone to say something almost. Finn continued to look at Rachel, his stare unwavering. Quinn stood near the entry, looking down at the floor.
Puck reappeared five minutes later, chucking his helmet on the floor. He stared around at everyone, who were still in their previous positions, unmoving.
“I say we just break the door,” Puck said, moving up to the entrance.
“We’re not breaking the door, idiot,” Quinn piped up, glaring at him.
“Well what do you suggest? Just sit here and wait? No thank you. I think I’d rather drown in a vat of Rachel’s incessant ramblings,” Puck replied, throwing his hands up in the air.
Quinn moved up to him and shoved her pointer fingers into his chest. “Don’t you freaking start, Puck! Just shut the hell up, and maybe we’ll hear someone walk past to let us out.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen anytime soon. We’ve still got at least another fourty minutes before the game finishes,” Santana replied, twirling her finger through her ponytail curl.
“Yeah well until you’ve got something of substance to say, I’d stay out of it,” Finn snapped at her.
Santana curled her lip at him. “Whatever Hudson, we’re all stuck here because of you.”
“We’re stuck here because of Brittany!” Quinn replied, pointing at the blonde, who looked up from her book and smiled, clearly having no idea what was going on.
“Don’t you-“
“I swear to God-“
“STOP FIGHTING.”
Rachel’s outburst caused everyone to fall silent. She stood up and stared around, startled almost at her own voice. She blinked and sat back down, placing her hands in her lap. She glanced up at Finn, who was still staring at her. His face was soft, and apologetic and unwavering from hers. Rachel blinked and looked away quickly.
Suddenly, Finn moved over to her, grabbing her by the wrist. She was startled as he directed her away from everyone else, pulling her by the arm. She was so shocked by the suddenness of it that she followed him. When they were out of ears reach of everyone else Finn turned around and Rachel ripped her arm away from him.
“What?” She asked him angrily.
Finn sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He stood there for a moment just staring at her. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. That he loved her. That it was a mistake. That he was sorry. That nothing mattered to him except her.
He kissed her instead.
Finn reached out for her waist and pulled her flush against him, running his fingers through her hair as he pressed his lips on hers. God, it felt so good to kiss her. She didn’t pull away, and her hand slowly rested on his forearm. He opened his mouth, running his tongue along the bottom of her lip, and she opened her mouth in response, allowing him access. She made a small noise as he curled his tongue around hers, pulling her closer to him. He almost felt lightheaded, holding her, kissing her. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He couldn’t fuck this up. He needed her. And he kissed her like he needed her.
He broke away gently, for air more than anything. She had her eyes closed and her lips were red. He still held on to her, waiting for her to open her eyes. Finally she did, looking up at him.
“You can’t just - you can’t just kiss me and expect everything to be okay, Finn,” she breathed, her voice wavering.
“I know,” he responded, his voice soft, breaking slightly. He fingered a strand of her hair, brushing it away from her face. She closed her eyes again, still not releasing her grip of him, or pushing him away.
Rachel swallowed and bit her bottom lip. She missed him. She loved him. God, she loved him. It was almost crippling. But she knew that she needed to let this be for at least a little while, because she was hurt, and he lied to her. She needed to do this for her.
“Please tell me how I can fix this. I need to fix this, Rach,” Finn told her moving her chin so she looked at him again.
She released her grip on him and took a step back. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted nothing more to forget this whole thing had ever happened. But she was Rachel Berry. And she needed to process. And she needed space.
“I need time. Space. Please give me that.”
Finn felt a swooping sensation in his stomach as he watched her turn around and walk back to the group. God, he didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless, waiting for her to decide if this still meant something to her. He knew he screwed up. God, he knew he screwed up. He knew he screwed up the second he stepped out of that hotel room.
Sighing, he sat down on the bench opposite him. Putting his head in his hands, he closed his eyes.
He hoped he hadn’t fucked this up for good.
***
“Anything?” Rachel asked as she re-entered the main library corridor. She mainly asked the question to deter any of them to ask her questions about what her and Finn had just been doing. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to get out of here.
“No shit, Berry. We’d be out of here, clearly,” Puck replied.
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Your tendency to take out your anger at me is endearing, but fucking stop.”
Quinn raised her eyebrows. That was possibly the first time Rachel Berry had sworn. She felt an odd sense of pride for her, even though they weren’t exactly friends. Puck seemed to be taken aback by Rachel’s swearing as well, because he didn’t respond. Finn reappeared and moved past Rachel, who had taken her old position near the door.
“This game has got to be finished, right?” Finn asked, staring at the door.
“Don’t think so. Just heard the crowd again. It should be wrapping up pretty soon you would think,” Quinn responded.
Again silence. Puck paced through the tables and for fear of another kicking episode, nobody told him to stop. Santana stared down at the crease in her skirt, flattening it out. Suddenly something started buzzing, vibrating before “Single Ladies” blasted from Brittany.
She reached into her shirt and pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open.
“Hey Jade! I’m good, how are you? I know, how crazy has it been-“
Everyone stared at her, their mouths wide open. Puck was the first to speak.
“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
“You’ve had your cell phone the whole time?!”
“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
Quinn moved quickly up to Brittany and grabbed the phone out of her hand. Ignoring Brittany’s objections, she hung up on “Jade” and quickly dialled a number.
“Mercedes? It’s me. You’re still at the school right? Can you come down to the library, and let us out? I’ll explain when you get down here. Okay,” Quinn flipped the phone shut and threw it down on the table in front of Brittany.
“Are you telling me that we have been stuck in here for almost two hours with a working cell phone? We missed the game for nothing!” Puck snapped at Brittany, who just sat there and shrugged.
“Whatever, at least we’re getting out of here,” Santana said, standing up.
Puck stared at her. “At least we are getting out of here? TWO HOURS OF PAIN Santana!”
The door clicked as it unlocked and it swung open, revealing Mercedes standing in the hallway, looking utterly confused. Santana grabbed Brittany’s hand and walked out first, not looking back at the people remaining. Puck walked out after her, shaking his head in frustration. Mercedes looked at Quinn.
“What the hell happened?”
Quinn shook her head and grabbed Mercedes by the arm, walking down the corridor. “Long story…”
Rachel stared at Finn for a moment before she leant down and grabbed her bag, walking out the door. He followed after her, letting the library door close behind him.
“Rachel, wait-“
She turned around, and backed up. “I’m going home Finn. You should do the same.”
Finn stood there as she turned around and walked away, turning the corridor and leaving the hall. He watched her go, shaking his head before he turned around and headed back to the locker room.
“Hudson!”
He stopped, lowering his head as Coach Tenaka’s voice echoed through the corridor.
Great.
***
Finn got home an hour later, pulling up into his driveway at 10:36pm. He knew his Mom wouldn’t be home, because she had gone away with Kurt’s dad for the week, and he was glad. He didn’t want to talk about tonight, in any way. On top of the library fiasco, Tenaka had verbally kicked his ass, crediting him and Puck to their horrific loss. Once again it all came down to him. He was sick of it.
He threw his keys on the front table when he entered the house, moving into the living room. He collapsed on the couch, grabbing the remote off the table and switching it on. He didn’t care what he watched, but he needed a distraction.
For a Friday night, there was a surprising lack of quality television. He settled in for a replay of a NFL game, a pre-season game that aired weeks ago. He wasn’t really paying attention to the game. He couldn’t stop thinking about tonight. About Rachel. About the fact that he had royally screwed up and there was nothing he could do about it until Rachel decided to talk to him again. Finn hated feeling helpless more than anything, knowing that he had to just wait. Wait for what, he didn’t quite know yet.
There was a sharp knock at the front door, which stirred Finn from his thoughts. His eyes glazed over the clock, which read 11:24pm. He had no idea who would be calling so late. He got off the couch and moved over to the door, turning the knob.
“Hi.”
Finn’s eyes widened as he saw Rachel in front of him, still dressed in what he had seen her in a few hours previously. She stood at the front door staring at him, her arms curled around herself. She looked nervous. He was nervous.
“Let me in?” She asked finally, gesturing with her head.
Finn nodded, opening the door wider to let Rachel in. He was still stunned that she was even at his door, let alone coming into his house. He closed the door and saw that she had walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She was staring at him and he walked over to her, sitting next to her.
“I was thinking tonight, after we left, about everything,” she began, her hands curled on her lap. She watched him carefully. “And it sucks. But, I wasn’t completely honest with you either, so I guess I’m partially to blame-“
“Rachel you don’t-“
“No, let me finish. I lied to you as well. And I shouldn’t have done that. So I can’t be mad at you for lying to me when I did the same to you,” Rachel finished, looking up at him.
They stared at each other for a long minute, just staring. It was one of the most intimate things Finn had ever experienced and he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her. But he waited until she finished.
“No more lies,” Rachel said, her voice breaking slightly as she smiled, holding up her pinkie finger.
Finn grinned, latching his pinkie with hers. “No more lies.”
Rachel nodded, and her finger was still clasped around his when she lowered it down to her lap. She turned her attention to the television and curled up on the couch, resting her head against Finn’s chest. He put his arm around her and smiled as she nestled in under his arm, resting her hand on his leg.
“What are you watching?” She asked him.
He shook his head, reaching for the remote. “Football. You wanna flick?” He handed her the remote.
She flicked it to the next channel and grinned when black and white images flashed up on the screen. “Excellent. West Side Story. I love Friday night television.”
Finn didn’t even care what they watched. Because Rachel was curled up beside him and he knew that everything would be okay.
They would be okay.
And that’s all that mattered.
***
This is also my 1,000th Livejournal post *cheers* And what a better way to celebrate than with fic! 5 years baby!
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Rachel/Finn, Puck/Quinn, Santana/Brittany
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to Journey 1x22
Word Count: 6,075
Summary: We’re locked in.
A/N: Many thanks to the wonderful alifab and missymeggins for putting up with the continuous emails and harassment from me, so I could get this right.
There was a loud roar that echoed through the halls of Mckinley High; the soft stamping from the bleachers vibrating through the floor. Rachel looked behind her hesitantly, hugging herself tightly, before continuing through the main corridor. The only light came from the thin strip of safety fluorescent lights on either side of the roof. She pushed open the doors of the library, and flicked the switch at the entrance, illuminating the shelves.
It was the first football game of the season and Rachel should have been outside. She should have been first in the stands, rugged up and eagerly anticipating her boyfriend’s first game. That’s where she should have been. But after yesterday, she couldn’t bear even looking at him. Because suddenly all her insecurities and fears, the solid foundation she thought they had built their relationship on had tumbled down around her. For once in her life, she didn’t think she was overreacting. Hurt was an understatement. Mortified, upset, angry, frustrated. She didn’t know what to think anymore. But she knew that if Santana Lopez ever spoke to her again, she would break her vow of non-violence.
Sighing, Rachel moved over to the music sheet selections and took the first one off the shelf. She needed to be productive. She needed to stop thinking about it.
She needed to concentrate.
***
Finn tossed his helmet and chest padding onto the seat next to him in the men’s change rooms. He could hear how packed the bleachers were getting outside from in the small confines of the room. He should have been nervous, first big game of the season. A clean slate. The chance for redemption. But Finn couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the fact that the one person he wanted to be outside cheering him on wouldn’t be.
He hadn’t spoken to her since yesterday afternoon. He hadn’t understood what all the silent treatment was about until he saw Santana. And she confessed to spilling the beans about their relations months ago. He had tried to talk to Rachel, to explain, but it hadn’t lead to anything other than Rachel bursting into tears and him feeling guiltier than before.
He kicked his duffel bag on the ground, staring aimlessly at the red locker in front of him. He didn’t want to do this. Not with everything else that was going on at the moment. Sure, he was the Quarterback. Sure, everything relied on him for a change, but for the first time he didn’t care about anything other than making this right. Making them right. How the hell he was going to do it, well, that was anybody’s guess.
Finn was startled out of his thoughts by the appearance of Karofsky and the other douchebags that he didn’t give a crap about. They burst into the room, yelling some insults and clapping each other on the back. Finn smirked in reply to their stares, to shut them up more than anything. He didn’t want to deal with their crap tonight.
“Heard you lost the Glee chick, Finn. Screwing Santana? Didn’t think you had it in you,” Karofsky said, dumping his bag into his locker and bumping fists with the equally large footballer next to him.
Finn gritted his teeth, continuing to stare at the ground. The last thing he needed was to get expelled for beating the crap out of him.
“Shut the hell up, Karofsky,” Finn replied, grabbing his bag off the floor and flinging open his locker door. He dumped it inside, slamming it shut.
He ignored the laughter next to him. He heard Karofsky mutter “…without that loser,” under his breath, and the laugher grew louder. Suddenly the sound coming from the crowds outside wasn’t as appealing as it used to be. He ripped off his jersey and threw it at Karofsky.
“You know what, this isn’t worth it,” he spat, grabbing his T-Shirt and jacket.
He threw them on as he walked out of the room. The roar of the crowd grew louder.
He needed to find Rachel.
***
“Stupid freaking moron,” Puck muttered under his breath, sticking his head inside the men’s bathroom.
The last thing Noah Puckerman wanted to do on game night was chase after Finn Hudson. Sure, they were on speaking terms now, but just because Finn decided to chuck a tantrum didn’t mean that it was his job to fix his mess.
Realistically, Puck needed to find him. The team would be screwed without him. They just barely managed to not get kicked out of the season first round last year without him, and Puck needed to win this season. He needed this year to mean something. He was sick to death of being called gay and “showtunes” by the other guys. This was the year of Puck. Screw the rest of them.
He groaned out loud as he kicked open the door to the choir room. It seemed to be the place Finn would go to have a cry. When the search turned up with nothing, he kicked the wall. What the hell was Finn thinking bailing thirty minutes before game times? Coach would freaking <>fry him.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Puck froze, throwing his head back in annoyance. Just what he needed. Quinn.
He turned around and saw her standing three feet behind him, her arms crossed over her chest. He knew that look. He despised that look. And he did not have time for that look.
“Not now, Quinn. I’ve got like about five seconds to find Finn before Coach Tenaka grills my ass,” he replied, turning back around and walking the corridor.
He rolled his eyes when he heard her soft footsteps behind him. Of course she would follow him. He knew he was in the shit, but he had done a wonderful job all day avoiding the inevitable argument.
“So, what, you’re just going to ignore me? That’s a bit rich - I’m the one who is pissed at you. And rightly so. I can’t believe you ditched me last night.” Quinn ranted behind him. He stopped suddenly, poking his head into an empty classroom. He thought he had heard voices.
“Seriously? You are seriously going to do this? You left me in the middle of the movie theatre. You left with Santana. What the hell is wrong with you? I can’t believe I ever believed a freaking word you said. - you’re an as-“
“Just shut-up-“ Puck said, growing increasingly frustrated. He couldn’t find Finn, the game was due to start in twenty minutes and Quinn was riding his ass. He stopped suddenly, holding out his arm to stop Quinn on the warpath to block his tracks. He held up his hand when she began to object.
“I think he’s in here-“ Puck said, pushing open the library door.
***
Rachel sat in the middle of the table, ten music books sprawled open in front of her. She stared at the pages, squinting. She could hear music outside now, soft and faint from inside the library, but still noticeable. She wondered if the game had started yet. If Finn had started yet. She shook her head, staring back down at the page in front of her.
She was startled when she library door opened. More startled by the fact that if she was caught in her after school hours this would remain on her personal record. She spun around and stopped suddenly, staring at Finn as he took a few steps into the room.
“Hi.” He said softly, taking another step closer. Rachel froze, stunned. She felt a lump gather in her throat and she shook her head, turning around and grabbing her books. She piled them into her arms and walked, staring at the ground and not at Finn in front of her. She headed towards the door, almost making it past him when he intercepted her, grabbing her around her arms.
She wavered slightly, shivering at the contact. She continued to look away from him, shaking her head.
“Don’t-“
“Don’t what? Talk about it? We need to talk about this.”
Rachel shook her head again. “No. We don’t.”
She swallowed, attempting to put a plug on her emotions. The lump in her throat grew larger and she sniffed, squirming out of his grasp.
“Rachel…” Finn said softly, almost begging her.
She finally looked at him. “I can’t, Finn,” she began, her voice breaking slightly. “I can’t do this now. I can’t look at you right now without wanting to cry my eyes out.”
She stood there, holding her books as tight as she could to her chest. Finn took a step back and stared at her. Noise rippled through the room, breaking the silence.
“Finn! We’ve gotta go!”
They barely noticed the door swing open. Puck stood in the middle of the library with Quinn behind him. Finn groaned and let go of Rachel’s hand.
“Not now, Puck!”
Puck raised his eyebrows. “Not now? Are you serious? The game starts in fifteen minutes. Coach is going to kill you, then me it if we get there with five minutes to spare, so lets go.”
Rachel sniffed, looking up at him. “You should go. I’m going home.”
Finn turned. “Don’t blow me off.”
Rachel spun around. “I’m not. I’m not the one to blame here, Finn. All I’m asking is that you give me some space, is that so hard?”
“For fuck’s sake,” Puck groaned, charging forward and grabbing Finn by the shoulders. He ushered him towards the door. Finn broke off, pushing Puck.
“Get the hell off me.”
“Get the hell off you? What part of WE HAVE TO GO do you not understand?”
“Stop it!” Quinn yelled.
Rachel, startled, stared at her. She had only just realised that Quinn was there. The boys backed away from each other, still shooting daggers at each other. Rachel shook her head moving back toward the table. She grabbed her bag that was hanging off the chair and moved towards the door. She froze.
“Hey kids, what’s all the excitement?”
Santana smirked, her hands on her hips as she stared at the four people in front of her. Brittany hovered behind her, shutting the door. She was on her way to the football field when she heard the voices. Smiling, she moved deeper into the room, which had fallen silent.
“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue, Berry?” Santana asked as innocently as she could possibly make it, circling around her. Rachel gripped her bag tighter.
“Screw this, I’m out of here,” Rachel said, taking a step towards the door.
Finn stepped forward. “Rachel …”
“No,” Rachel said, spinning around and pointing at him. “Let me go.”
“Yeah, Finn. Let her go. You’ve got me to fall back on, anyway,” Santana laughed, folding her arms over her chest.
Rachel stopped short of the door. She turned around and glared at Santana, who was smirking back at her. Then she stared at Finn, who looked at her helplessly. She bit her lip and grabbed the door handle, needing to escape. She pushed, hard, but the door didn’t open. Taken aback, she grabbed it again and wiggled, pushing harder.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Rachel moaned, tossing her bag on the ground and wiggling the door harder with both hands. Finally she gave up, kicking the door.
“We’re locked in.”
Finn moved up behind her and gave it a tug. Again, the door didn’t move. Rachel shook her head and moved away from the door, while Finn continued to try and wiggle it open.
“What the hell?” Puck said, shoving Finn out of the way and having a go himself. When it wouldn’t give, he kicked it. The sound was echoed by the sound of cheering coming from the field.
“Great. Just great. We’re going to be stuck here the entire first game of the season all because you” he pointed at Finn, “couldn’t hold it in for one freaking hour.”
Finn lunged at him, “Bite me, Puckerman.”
Quinn stepped between the two before a fight broke out. This wasn’t exactly the most ideal situation. Her and Finn weren’t exactly on great terms, neither with Rachel and Puck was just a constant pain in her ass. Santana was just the devil in a cheerleaders uniform and Brittany - well…
“Wait…” Quinn stopped, turning to face Brittany. “You were the last at the door. What did you do?”
Brittany shrugged, looking around at Santana. “I didn’t know locking it would lock it, you know?”
“It locks from the outside, how could you not realise that?” Rachel asked through her teeth, looking increasingly upset by the minute.
“She just didn’t. Stop taking your sexual frustration out on her,” Santana responded, eying Rachel.
Rachel stepped forward. “Back the hell off, Santana.”
Santana took a step forward, towering over Rachel. “Just because you’ve got my sloppy seconds, doesn’t mean you’re better than me.”
Rachel stared at her, her gaze unwavering. “You think you’re better than everyone else? Then you should learn how to take it if you are going to dish it. The truth is, you’re just a scared little girl who steals everyone else’s relationships because you don’t have any that are meaningful in your life.”
Santana glared at her. “You don’t know what the hell you are talking about, Berry. So I suggest your shut your fugly little mouth before I shut it for you.”
Finn stepped in and grabbed Rachel around the shoulders. She squirmed out of his grasp, backing away from him. The silence was broken by another loud roar from outside.
“Sylvester is going to kill us,” Santana muttered under her breath.
“Oh, how sad for you,” Rachel replied sarcastically, dumping her bag on the table. “I’m going to find a way out of here.”
“I’ll come with you,” Quinn piped up, following Rachel into the book stacks to attempt to find a fire exit.
Finn walked up to Santana. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Santana smirked at him. “I didn’t do anything, Romeo. It’s your own fault you didn’t tell her to begin with.”
“But, what? You had to humiliate her before I even got the chance?” Finn responded.
Santana shrugged. “Whatever. We need to get out of here. If we miss one more minute, Sylvester is going to kill us, and Tenaka is going to kill you, so I suggest that we work together to get the hell out of here.”
“I’m with her,” Puck said, grabbing Finn by the shirt and tugging him into the opposite direction.
Santana watched them walk away and smirked, grabbing Brittany by the arm.
This would be interesting.
***
“I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
Rachel pulled at the emergency exit door, groaning when the lock didn’t budge. So much for “emergency” exit. This most certainly qualified as an emergency. The noise from the crowds outside served as a soundtrack to the occasion, a reminder of what was a stake. Them being stuck in here would mean major consequences for Finn and Puck, not to mention Brittany and Santana. But Rachel didn’t give a crap what was at stake. She just wanted to get out of here.
Quinn glared at her. “You think you’ve got it bad? I’m stuck in here with Puck. Puck! I’ve got it way worse!”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “You guys continually fight. It’s nothing new. But me? I can’t look at Finn and Santana at the moment without wanting to cry. So I think I’m going to win the whole “woe is me” quota for this room.”
“You know this isn’t my ideal situation either. Puck is a douche and the father of my baby I gave up for adoption to your biological mother, you and I are certainly not what you would call friends and the rest of them …” Quinn turned her head slightly “way too much history,” she said, sinking down to the ground, resting her head against the wall.
Rachel turned around to face her. “You don’t need to be defensive all the time. I’m not a terrible person. I’m not. I know I can be insane and demanding and crazy, but I know who I am and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. Maybe if you tried to look past my voice and attitude you would see that I’m just like you. I’m just as insecure as you. I care about what people think about me, maybe a little too much. Just like you. We are more alike than you think, Quinn.”
Quinn stared at Rachel for a moment, taken aback but what she had said. She was judgemental, she knew that. God, she knew that. She was a cliché, if ever there was one. The bitchy cheerleader. Well, former cheerleader. She was trying to change. She really was. And really, for Quinn it was easier to aim all her anger at Rachel. She was an obvious target.
“I know you don’t like me very much, and I don’t blame you. But I’m on your side Quinn,” Rachel finished quietly, staring at her for a moment. She had her back to the door, resting against it.
“I’m sorry.”
It was quiet and Rachel barely heard it, but she nodded at Quinn. “It’s okay.”
“It sucks what Santana did.”
Rachel took a sharp breath. “Yeah, well it sucks what Finn did too.”
Quin nodded from the ground. “Yeah it does. But he really loves you, Rachel. Like really loves you. Doesn’t that deserve another chance?”
Rachel swallowed, blinking. She didn’t want to start crying, not now, not in front of Quinn. She bit her lip and stared beyond the stacks. “Maybe. I’m not sure anymore.”
Quinn nodded again before picking herself up off the ground. She gestured for Rachel to follow her, peering out beyond the stacks.
“Come on, lets go see if we can find another way out of here.”
***
Puck groaned, kicking the door. The other emergency exit was a fail - there wasn’t even a window to kick open. The crowd outside roared with cheers, infuriating him further.
“Fuck this shit. I don’t need to be here. We’re missing the first game of the season all because you had to go all hormonal. Seriously Finn,” Puck semi-finished, kicking the door again as a final word.
Finn rolled his eyes and sat down on the bench next to the emergency exit. He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a groan of frustration. This was not the time for Puck to piss him off. He was getting closer and closer to shoving him into the stacks with each word that came out of his mouth. He didn’t need to deal with Quinn, Santana and Puck, all at the same time. The only person he wanted to deal with was Rachel and at that exact moment, being stuck in the library amplified the situation.
“I don’t know what to do,” Finn said hesitantly, questioning whether talking to Puck about this was the right thing to do as soon as the words came out of his mouth.
“So you screwed Santana, so what? I did as well.” Puck replied, staring at the door still, as if attempting to figure out a way to outsmart the lock.
Finn glared at him. “You are such a douchebag.”
“Whatever. Just help me with this Goddamn door.”
Finn stood up and grabbed the other side of the door, shoving it at the same time as Puck. The door still didn’t move. They tried again, mostly out of frustration, but again nothing moved. Finn stepped back, putting his hands up in the air.
“We’re just going to have to wait until someone comes in - or walks past the front door,” Finn said, staring at Puck as he shoved the door angrily.
“Screw that! I’m not just going to sit around here with YOU lot and watch you get into a massive sob fest while the game is on outside,” Puck said, walking up to Finn and shoving him.
Finn pushed him back and backed away. “Don’t do it, Puck.” He said, turning around and walking away from him.
Puck stood there for a moment, staring at Finn walking back into the stacks. He sighed and kicked the door again. This was the worst possibly day of his life, he seriously thought. Stuck here with him. And Quinn. And Rachel with her annoying whining and tears. And Quinn. Fuck, he knew he screwed up last night, he knew it the second he got in the car with Santana. He didn’t understand why she had such a pull on him. He loved Quinn. He did. But things had changed with them over the Summer, and she had said she wanted space. So he gave her space. Apparantly that meant not being with anyone else, but how the hell was he supposed to know that?
Girls, he thought, shaking his head.
They’re all fucked up.
***
“I’m bored now.”
Santana sat on the bench opposite Brittany, studying her fingernails. Sure, coming in here during World War III seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, but now it was just plain boring. Santana sighed staring up at the ceiling. She sometimes wondered if being that big of a bitch was worth it. Really, she was mad at Puck yesterday, and at Finn for begging her not to tell Rachel about, well, you know. So she blurted out that she had slept with Finn to Rachel. And she would never tell anyone this, but she felt a little guilty about it.
But she was sick of everyone thinking that she was a second choice. Why the hell wasn’t she a first? With Puck, it was always Quinn. And Finn, well, it was always Rachel. And for once in her life she wanted to be someone’s always. Aside from Brittany.
She looked down at Brittany, who was thumbing through a pop up book she had managed to get from the Early Childhood section. She smiled as she fingered through the book. Santana knew that Brittany was her always, anyway.
“Where did you get that?” Santana asked her, smiling.
Brittany looked up, grinning. “Behind the desk. It’s heaps cool, you should see.”
Santana reached across the table for the book as a huge roar erupted from the stadium, vibrating through the library.
“At least they seem to be having a good night,” she muttered under her breath as Rachel and Quinn appeared out of the shelves.
Rachel moved past Brittany and Santana silently, not looking at either of them. She stood on her tiptoes at the front door, looking out the glass. She stood like that for at least three minutes before she turned around.
“We’re just going to have to wait,” Finn’s voice appeared as he walked into view, staring directly at Rachel with a pleading look in his eyes.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself and moving over to the seat near the door, keeping distance between herself and everyone else. She was hesitant, nervous and still upset. The situation was amplified by the fact that Santana could just open her mouth at any moment and blurt out another indiscretion that would taint her relationship. It annoyed her the power Santana almost had. She knew things about Finn that Rachel hadn’t figured out yet. They hadn’t slept with each other yet, they were waiting, but Santana had already experienced that with him. What if Finn compared her to Santana? What if she was terrible? What if there entire relationship was based on conquest? This thought was ridiculous, and Rachel knew it, but it didn’t stop her from thinking about it.
The room was silent. Brittany was still fingering through the book, Santana watching everyone, waiting for someone to say something almost. Finn continued to look at Rachel, his stare unwavering. Quinn stood near the entry, looking down at the floor.
Puck reappeared five minutes later, chucking his helmet on the floor. He stared around at everyone, who were still in their previous positions, unmoving.
“I say we just break the door,” Puck said, moving up to the entrance.
“We’re not breaking the door, idiot,” Quinn piped up, glaring at him.
“Well what do you suggest? Just sit here and wait? No thank you. I think I’d rather drown in a vat of Rachel’s incessant ramblings,” Puck replied, throwing his hands up in the air.
Quinn moved up to him and shoved her pointer fingers into his chest. “Don’t you freaking start, Puck! Just shut the hell up, and maybe we’ll hear someone walk past to let us out.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen anytime soon. We’ve still got at least another fourty minutes before the game finishes,” Santana replied, twirling her finger through her ponytail curl.
“Yeah well until you’ve got something of substance to say, I’d stay out of it,” Finn snapped at her.
Santana curled her lip at him. “Whatever Hudson, we’re all stuck here because of you.”
“We’re stuck here because of Brittany!” Quinn replied, pointing at the blonde, who looked up from her book and smiled, clearly having no idea what was going on.
“Don’t you-“
“I swear to God-“
“STOP FIGHTING.”
Rachel’s outburst caused everyone to fall silent. She stood up and stared around, startled almost at her own voice. She blinked and sat back down, placing her hands in her lap. She glanced up at Finn, who was still staring at her. His face was soft, and apologetic and unwavering from hers. Rachel blinked and looked away quickly.
Suddenly, Finn moved over to her, grabbing her by the wrist. She was startled as he directed her away from everyone else, pulling her by the arm. She was so shocked by the suddenness of it that she followed him. When they were out of ears reach of everyone else Finn turned around and Rachel ripped her arm away from him.
“What?” She asked him angrily.
Finn sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He stood there for a moment just staring at her. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. That he loved her. That it was a mistake. That he was sorry. That nothing mattered to him except her.
He kissed her instead.
Finn reached out for her waist and pulled her flush against him, running his fingers through her hair as he pressed his lips on hers. God, it felt so good to kiss her. She didn’t pull away, and her hand slowly rested on his forearm. He opened his mouth, running his tongue along the bottom of her lip, and she opened her mouth in response, allowing him access. She made a small noise as he curled his tongue around hers, pulling her closer to him. He almost felt lightheaded, holding her, kissing her. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He couldn’t fuck this up. He needed her. And he kissed her like he needed her.
He broke away gently, for air more than anything. She had her eyes closed and her lips were red. He still held on to her, waiting for her to open her eyes. Finally she did, looking up at him.
“You can’t just - you can’t just kiss me and expect everything to be okay, Finn,” she breathed, her voice wavering.
“I know,” he responded, his voice soft, breaking slightly. He fingered a strand of her hair, brushing it away from her face. She closed her eyes again, still not releasing her grip of him, or pushing him away.
Rachel swallowed and bit her bottom lip. She missed him. She loved him. God, she loved him. It was almost crippling. But she knew that she needed to let this be for at least a little while, because she was hurt, and he lied to her. She needed to do this for her.
“Please tell me how I can fix this. I need to fix this, Rach,” Finn told her moving her chin so she looked at him again.
She released her grip on him and took a step back. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted nothing more to forget this whole thing had ever happened. But she was Rachel Berry. And she needed to process. And she needed space.
“I need time. Space. Please give me that.”
Finn felt a swooping sensation in his stomach as he watched her turn around and walk back to the group. God, he didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless, waiting for her to decide if this still meant something to her. He knew he screwed up. God, he knew he screwed up. He knew he screwed up the second he stepped out of that hotel room.
Sighing, he sat down on the bench opposite him. Putting his head in his hands, he closed his eyes.
He hoped he hadn’t fucked this up for good.
***
“Anything?” Rachel asked as she re-entered the main library corridor. She mainly asked the question to deter any of them to ask her questions about what her and Finn had just been doing. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to get out of here.
“No shit, Berry. We’d be out of here, clearly,” Puck replied.
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Your tendency to take out your anger at me is endearing, but fucking stop.”
Quinn raised her eyebrows. That was possibly the first time Rachel Berry had sworn. She felt an odd sense of pride for her, even though they weren’t exactly friends. Puck seemed to be taken aback by Rachel’s swearing as well, because he didn’t respond. Finn reappeared and moved past Rachel, who had taken her old position near the door.
“This game has got to be finished, right?” Finn asked, staring at the door.
“Don’t think so. Just heard the crowd again. It should be wrapping up pretty soon you would think,” Quinn responded.
Again silence. Puck paced through the tables and for fear of another kicking episode, nobody told him to stop. Santana stared down at the crease in her skirt, flattening it out. Suddenly something started buzzing, vibrating before “Single Ladies” blasted from Brittany.
She reached into her shirt and pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open.
“Hey Jade! I’m good, how are you? I know, how crazy has it been-“
Everyone stared at her, their mouths wide open. Puck was the first to speak.
“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
“You’ve had your cell phone the whole time?!”
“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
Quinn moved quickly up to Brittany and grabbed the phone out of her hand. Ignoring Brittany’s objections, she hung up on “Jade” and quickly dialled a number.
“Mercedes? It’s me. You’re still at the school right? Can you come down to the library, and let us out? I’ll explain when you get down here. Okay,” Quinn flipped the phone shut and threw it down on the table in front of Brittany.
“Are you telling me that we have been stuck in here for almost two hours with a working cell phone? We missed the game for nothing!” Puck snapped at Brittany, who just sat there and shrugged.
“Whatever, at least we’re getting out of here,” Santana said, standing up.
Puck stared at her. “At least we are getting out of here? TWO HOURS OF PAIN Santana!”
The door clicked as it unlocked and it swung open, revealing Mercedes standing in the hallway, looking utterly confused. Santana grabbed Brittany’s hand and walked out first, not looking back at the people remaining. Puck walked out after her, shaking his head in frustration. Mercedes looked at Quinn.
“What the hell happened?”
Quinn shook her head and grabbed Mercedes by the arm, walking down the corridor. “Long story…”
Rachel stared at Finn for a moment before she leant down and grabbed her bag, walking out the door. He followed after her, letting the library door close behind him.
“Rachel, wait-“
She turned around, and backed up. “I’m going home Finn. You should do the same.”
Finn stood there as she turned around and walked away, turning the corridor and leaving the hall. He watched her go, shaking his head before he turned around and headed back to the locker room.
“Hudson!”
He stopped, lowering his head as Coach Tenaka’s voice echoed through the corridor.
Great.
***
Finn got home an hour later, pulling up into his driveway at 10:36pm. He knew his Mom wouldn’t be home, because she had gone away with Kurt’s dad for the week, and he was glad. He didn’t want to talk about tonight, in any way. On top of the library fiasco, Tenaka had verbally kicked his ass, crediting him and Puck to their horrific loss. Once again it all came down to him. He was sick of it.
He threw his keys on the front table when he entered the house, moving into the living room. He collapsed on the couch, grabbing the remote off the table and switching it on. He didn’t care what he watched, but he needed a distraction.
For a Friday night, there was a surprising lack of quality television. He settled in for a replay of a NFL game, a pre-season game that aired weeks ago. He wasn’t really paying attention to the game. He couldn’t stop thinking about tonight. About Rachel. About the fact that he had royally screwed up and there was nothing he could do about it until Rachel decided to talk to him again. Finn hated feeling helpless more than anything, knowing that he had to just wait. Wait for what, he didn’t quite know yet.
There was a sharp knock at the front door, which stirred Finn from his thoughts. His eyes glazed over the clock, which read 11:24pm. He had no idea who would be calling so late. He got off the couch and moved over to the door, turning the knob.
“Hi.”
Finn’s eyes widened as he saw Rachel in front of him, still dressed in what he had seen her in a few hours previously. She stood at the front door staring at him, her arms curled around herself. She looked nervous. He was nervous.
“Let me in?” She asked finally, gesturing with her head.
Finn nodded, opening the door wider to let Rachel in. He was still stunned that she was even at his door, let alone coming into his house. He closed the door and saw that she had walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She was staring at him and he walked over to her, sitting next to her.
“I was thinking tonight, after we left, about everything,” she began, her hands curled on her lap. She watched him carefully. “And it sucks. But, I wasn’t completely honest with you either, so I guess I’m partially to blame-“
“Rachel you don’t-“
“No, let me finish. I lied to you as well. And I shouldn’t have done that. So I can’t be mad at you for lying to me when I did the same to you,” Rachel finished, looking up at him.
They stared at each other for a long minute, just staring. It was one of the most intimate things Finn had ever experienced and he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her. But he waited until she finished.
“No more lies,” Rachel said, her voice breaking slightly as she smiled, holding up her pinkie finger.
Finn grinned, latching his pinkie with hers. “No more lies.”
Rachel nodded, and her finger was still clasped around his when she lowered it down to her lap. She turned her attention to the television and curled up on the couch, resting her head against Finn’s chest. He put his arm around her and smiled as she nestled in under his arm, resting her hand on his leg.
“What are you watching?” She asked him.
He shook his head, reaching for the remote. “Football. You wanna flick?” He handed her the remote.
She flicked it to the next channel and grinned when black and white images flashed up on the screen. “Excellent. West Side Story. I love Friday night television.”
Finn didn’t even care what they watched. Because Rachel was curled up beside him and he knew that everything would be okay.
They would be okay.
And that’s all that mattered.
***
This is also my 1,000th Livejournal post *cheers* And what a better way to celebrate than with fic! 5 years baby!