skdjhdfh I want to quote bits I like, but I like all of it. Um. Only typo thing I can see is "She’d dead".
You give Kakuzu such a feeling of age, and your Hidan is wonderfully broken-- I loved the First to Fall Fails bit. And Yugito, augh. You nailed that feeling of strength surpressed, and dreadful resignation. So many neat little moments- her reaction to Kakuzu's threads, Hidan leaving beads everywhere, Kakuzu planning about fruit, the ending (bawww!).
:'D I'm really glad! Ahhh XD if you like it I consider it good. Thanks for the typo spot, it's corrected now.
Kakuzu... is such a strange guy why I write him. He kind of boggles me a bit sometime. I'm not sure if it comes from him being really old, or not human, or just slightly crazy, or if it's just him, but sometimes the digressions he makes make me wonder... he's interesting. These three, together, are interesting. They're all fascinating foils for each other.
I guess there's the risk of Mary-Sueing Yugito, since she wasn't characterized much in the manga - I'm trying to keep an eye on her, and make it so throughout the whole thing while she's resigned she's not... weak, or a puppet, or too much of a soppy angstmuffin.
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You give Kakuzu such a feeling of age, and your Hidan is wonderfully broken-- I loved the First to Fall Fails bit. And Yugito, augh. You nailed that feeling of strength surpressed, and dreadful resignation. So many neat little moments- her reaction to Kakuzu's threads, Hidan leaving beads everywhere, Kakuzu planning about fruit, the ending (bawww!).
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Kakuzu... is such a strange guy why I write him. He kind of boggles me a bit sometime. I'm not sure if it comes from him being really old, or not human, or just slightly crazy, or if it's just him, but sometimes the digressions he makes make me wonder... he's interesting. These three, together, are interesting. They're all fascinating foils for each other.
I guess there's the risk of Mary-Sueing Yugito, since she wasn't characterized much in the manga - I'm trying to keep an eye on her, and make it so throughout the whole thing while she's resigned she's not... weak, or a puppet, or too much of a soppy angstmuffin.
Th-thanks for the comment. :')
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