I Brought It With Me; Do You Need to See It?

[bec_87rb]

A friend sent me a cartoon accompanied with his opinion that men tolerate their wives and girlfriends having a fling with another women better than with another man because they cannot imagine she is having real sex, if there is no penile penetration involved. Some kind of failure of imagination that sex could actually occur without their penis

Comments

[ellisbell]

I can definitely assure you that my husband would be just as upset if he found out I had a fling with ANYONE, regardless of gender. The issue there would be that I didn't find him satisfying enough and had to go out and find it with someone else, not whether or not penises were involved. He'd be devastated. :(

[bec_87rb]

That's seems the rational way to look at it, doesn't it? Do you feel lucky in this?

[ellisbell]

Yes; I'd be uncomfortable if he was ok with the idea of me experimenting with someone else. And it means he'd be ok with experimenting with other people himself, and I'm very much not ok with that. I've come into contact with a lot of polyamory folks on LJ over the years, and while I totally believe they are doing what works for them, my brain can't wrap itself around that idea in a way that makes sense to me. Meaning, I know it makes them happy, but it would make me so incredibly UNhappy it's hard to conceptualize other people being able to make that work without jealousy.

More than twice the work

[bec_87rb]

Yeah, polyamory looks like it multiplies the amount of balancing and stress. Selfishly, I would love a male harem, but the practical aspects of it seem like a nightmare.