Iiiiit's a new one!
Title: Letter of the Law
Author: Darth Spork
Rating: PG-13 so far
Pairings: John/Paul, George/Ringo (eventually)
Time frame: 1700’s, AU. Which is why people talk normally.
Warnings: Sexual content, verbal, mental, and physical abuse, alternate universe
Chapter: One/?
Disclaimer: The Beatles are not mine, excluding those CDs and the like that I have purchased, which I doubt buys me much stock in them.
Summary: Richard Starkey is new in Liverpool for schooling purposes when he meets George McCartney, the most beautiful man he’s ever met. The problem? George is off the market until his older brother, Paul, is married - and no man in Liverpool is touching that challenge with a ten-foot pole. Luckily, John Lennon, hard up for money and looking to marry to solve his monetary problems, may be just the solution they’re looking for.
A/N: For those of you scholars out there, you’ve probably already guessed my inspiration for this. For those of you staring blankly at your screen, this is based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, and I’m hoping I won’t mutilate it. Looking for something a bit lighter to write after SDCH. Also +500 Karma Points to the first person who can correlate the characters in this story between the Shakesperean characters. By name.
- - -
Finery. That was the only way to describe his home, his possessions, his belongings - clothes of silk, sheets of satin, jewelry of gold with jewels of every color, plates and platters of silver, goblets of crystal, food and wine imported from the farthest reaches of his father’s pocketbook… and yet, somehow, there was only one word on his mind.
“It’s garbage!” Paul McCartney screamed as he hurled a china vase across the room, the maid letting out a shrill scream as it shattered on the wall directly above her head and showered her with shards of the once-expensive décor. “Get it out of here, I don’t even want to look at it!”
“Sir, please…” A butler began in a pleading voice only to throw his arms over his face to protect it from the large leather-bound book launched at him next.
“Get out! Get out of here, get out now!” The two obliged, the butler having to assist the now-sobbing maid out of the entry hall. Paul watched them go before letting out a yell of frustration and kicking at the remainder of the package he had pulled the vase and book from, the remaining contents cracking sickeningly as they made contact with the wall. Breathing heavily, he reached up to comb his hand through his shoulder-length brown locks, his eyes falling closed as he forcefully put a rein on his temper.
“Was that really necessary, brother?” Gritting his teeth, Paul felt his temper rising again. The hand in his hair clenched as he slowly turned to face the owner of the voice. George. He narrowed his eyes at the self-confident look on his brother’s face - that look that he just wanted to slap off - and took another deep breath.
“A package for you,” Paul said in a far more collected voice, lowering his hands and placing them in his pockets.
“I see that,” George said idly as he leaned against the cherry wood railing of the large spiral staircase, his eyes moving from the book with the broken spine, to the shattered vase, to the crumpled box with whatever else had been delivered.
“Probably one of your suitors,” Paul spat as he began up the staircase, slamming his feet down hard enough to rattle his teeth.
Sighing in a long-suffering manner, George toed a piece of broken vase before snapping idly. When a second maid rounded the corner and looked at him curiously, he pointed wordlessly to the destroyed gifts before walking off in the direction of his father’s study.
- - -
“Ah, Liverpool!”
“It-it’s dreary.”
“You’re looking at it with a pessimist’s eye. Look at it as an optimist would!”
“…it-it’s dreary a-and it sm-smells.”
“You’re hopeless,” Richard Starkey sighed as he shook his head at his best friend. Alan Caldwell - Rory, to his closest friends - just continued making a face at the surrounding buildings. “All right, so it’s not London,” Richard conceded, putting on his best ‘look on the bright side’ voice, “but it’ll be fine! I think it has character!”
“Mmm,” Rory muttered, shaking his head unenthusiastically.
“Look, you didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to,” Richard said as he continued walking down the street, sure Rory was following him and silently critiquing the scenery as he did so.
“Wh-why did y-you come h-here for st-studying? Here, of all p-p-places?”
“I saw it as an opportunity, you know that,” Richard said. “There’s a professor here, an old friend of my father’s, who offered to give me private lessons for free. You came because you wanted to, what was it, soak up the scenery?” He laughed at the face Rory made as Richard pointed out his previous words. Grinning to himself, Richard looked around at the houses they were passing. They were nice enough - large houses that looked as though they belonged to well-off families. And the neighborhood he was looking for his new schooling in.
“No! I won’t hear of it!”
The words were yelled so loudly, and close by, that they gave Richard and Rory pause. The two looked at each other and shrugged before following the sounds of the voices, which lead them to a courtyard in front of a large house. In the courtyard were five men - two younger and three older. Two of the older men were standing beside each other and seemed to be pleading with the third, while one of the younger men had fixed the two with a glare that would freeze hell. The third older man looked angry, and had a protective hand on the second young man.
It was the sight of him that made Richard stop and attempt to catch his breath.
He was the most beautiful man Richard had ever laid eyes on. Dark hair, large chocolate eyes, tall with long graceful limbs. He didn’t even know his name, and Richard could tell he was done for already. With the look that Rory was giving Richard, he could tell, too.
“Oh, g-give m-me a break,” Rory hissed, jabbing Richard in the side with his finger.
“Shh!” Richard said sharply as the man with his hand on the beauty’s shoulder began speaking again.
“I’ve told you time and time again, Mr. Best, Mr. Epstein,” he began sharply. “I will not - absolutely will not - give George’s hand in marriage before Paul is betrothed! I forbid it. I will not hear of it! If either of you is that desperate to marry you have my permission to court Paul at your leisure.”
The two men laughed at this, the first elbowing the second in the ribs. “I’d sooner marry a dog than fasten myself to that hell demon. What about you, Brian? Are you brave enough to tame the beast?”
“Are you kidding me?” the other young man, Paul, asked in an incredulous voice as he advanced on the man that Richard could only assume was his father. “Are you seriously trying to whore me out to them to get rid of me?”
“No such luck,” Brian said with a laugh. “I bet you wouldn’t even have any luck whoring yourself out for free until you got your attitude straight, much less any luck finding a husband. Right, Pete?”
Fire in his eyes, Paul rounded on Brian and Pete, causing their laughter to stop abruptly. Slowly advancing, he snarled, “Oh, don’t worry, Brian. You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise you, marrying you is the absolute last thing on my mind. But if any contact with you did happen to enter my thoughts, I promise you the best you would get is a chair broken over your head.”
“Oh, God help me,” Brian said as bravely as he could, backing away from Paul. Not to be outdone, or left too close, Pete followed his example. “McCartney, will you please keep a rein on him?”
“Paul, back off,” the father warned, his hand still on George’s shoulder. Shooting one last glare at the two men, Paul returned to where he had been standing, dusting his sleeves off. Turning his attention back to Brian and Pete, the father continued, “Listen. Until Paul is married, I’m sorry, but George is not available for even courting.” The look on George’s face made it clear that he didn’t appreciate it more than the two potential suitors did. “However, I will be hiring tutors to come and teach both Paul and George in my house. They require more schooling and I do not wish to send them off for it. George, go on, go inside. I need to speak with you.”
Nodding, George moved away from his father and made a brief bow to him. “Of course, sir. As you wish. Brother, please do not be angry with me,” he said as he redirected his attention to Paul. “I’m sure that, one day, you’ll find someone who will put up with you.” With a sarcastic smile, he nodded to Paul, then to Brian and Pete, and turned back into the house.
Ignoring the murderous look on Paul’s face at George’s comment and smile, the father nodded. “Paul, you may stay out here. As I’ve said, I need to speak with your brother.”
“I may stay out here?” Paul bit out as he watched his father leave. “Are you serious? What, am I some sort of child that I need to be told where to go and what to do?” He looked Brian and Pete over before rolling his eyes. “I could have a better conversation with the dishes than these idiots,” he muttered as he headed back into the house, the door slamming behind him.
“Go to hell!” Pete yelled at the closed door as soon as it was safe to do so. “Do you believe him?”
“He’s always been like that,” Brian said as he rolled his eyes. “But, rivals as we both are, we have a rather pressing problem. Are you following me?”
“If Paul doesn’t get married, then neither can George,” Pete began. “So… either we both give up on George…”
“Or we get Paul married.”
“Not it.”
“I’m not talking about us!” Brian said quickly. “We need to find him someone else to be his husband.”
“I don’t know anyone that stupid or desperate,” Pete muttered absently.
“Maybe not stupid or desperate,” Brian said. “If we could find someone not only as bad as Paul, but worse…”
“Is that even possible?” Pete laughed.
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”
“Well, I know what I’m going to do,” Pete began in a self-important voice. “I think I’m going to go hire a tutor to present to old McCartney. That’ll certainly get me in his good graces. Maybe he’ll consent to allow me to marry George if I do that!”
“Oh, right, that’ll work real well. But there’s no use dwelling on it now. I’ll see you around,” Brian said as he waved. Pete nodded before they both left the courtyard, continuing down the street.
“Well. Th-that was a sm-small epic,” Rory muttered before turning his attention to Richard. “…oh for G-God’s sake,” he sighed before jabbing him again. “Y-you still w-with me?”
“What? Yeah, yeah,” Richard said in the tone of a man just awoken from a heavy sleep. “Did you see him, Rory? He was so beautiful…”
“Y-yeah, I s-saw him. Th-the more p-p-pressing question is d-did you s-see his b-brother?”
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Richard continued in a dazed voice, wincing when Rory slapped the back of his head. “What!?”
“Y-you don’t ev-ven know him, so st-stop it! L-look, sure, h-he was beautiful, but in c-case you didn’t not-tice, he h-has a l-lunatic for a b-brother! H-how do you p-plan t-to get anywhere n-near him? Just f-forget about it!”
“…what was it that his father said? Something about hiring tutors?”
“S-something like th-that, for both his s-sons, to t-tutor them i-in his h-house.”
As Richard snapped in an inspired manner, Rory felt a sense of dread flooding him, and nearly winced. “That’s it!”
“I don’t even kn-know what you’re t-talking about b-but I doubt i-it’s a good idea.”
“He’s hiring tutors! Brilliant!” Turning, Richard slapped one hand on Rory’s shoulder. “You’re a genius!”
“I-I am?”
“Of course! Look, this is what I’ll do. I’ll disguise myself as a tutor and present myself as such to that man, Pete Best. He said he was looking to hire one. Then I can work on winning George’s heart for myself!”
This exclamation was followed with a blank look. Slowly, Rory raised his hands to Richard’s shoulders and shook him. “Are you out of y-your bloody mind?!” he practically screamed. “Y-you can’t d-do that! You’re s-supposed to be h-here studying, y-your father will be f-furious if you d-don’t go, and y-you can’t d-do both!”
“…oh. Right,” Richard said, deflating a bit as soon as Rory stopped shaking him. “…no. Wait! I’ve got it!” Rory groaned and slapped his forehead, but Richard just continued. “I have it! It’s perfect! No one here knows me by anything but my name! They know my father but they’ve never seen my face! And they don’t know you at all, so… Look. We’ll trade places. You be Richard Starkey, and I’ll be Alan Caldwell, language and history instructor! I’ll become a tutor in the McCartney house, and you stay with the professor and work on winning old McCartney over! Then, when he gives permission for Richard Starkey to marry his youngest son, he’ll have no idea that he gave it to me!”
“Love has m-made you an i-idiot,” Rory said incredulously.
“No! No, it’s perfect!” Richard said enthusiastically. “Besides, you owe me so much for the butter incident, but if you do this for me I’ll completely strike off that debt-”
“I’ll d-do it,” Rory said quickly before Richard could even finish his sentence.
“Brilliant,” Richard said before running off. “Come on, we have work to do!”
“…we’re going t-to get arrested,” Rory muttered before taking off after his friend.
- - -
- - -
Okay. Chapter one is over! Next chapter is chapter… two! Duh! In which John will come in and… just… generally be John, and we all know how much fun that is. At least, I’ll continue this if anyone, you know, likes it.
Author: Darth Spork
Rating: PG-13 so far
Pairings: John/Paul, George/Ringo (eventually)
Time frame: 1700’s, AU. Which is why people talk normally.
Warnings: Sexual content, verbal, mental, and physical abuse, alternate universe
Chapter: One/?
Disclaimer: The Beatles are not mine, excluding those CDs and the like that I have purchased, which I doubt buys me much stock in them.
Summary: Richard Starkey is new in Liverpool for schooling purposes when he meets George McCartney, the most beautiful man he’s ever met. The problem? George is off the market until his older brother, Paul, is married - and no man in Liverpool is touching that challenge with a ten-foot pole. Luckily, John Lennon, hard up for money and looking to marry to solve his monetary problems, may be just the solution they’re looking for.
A/N: For those of you scholars out there, you’ve probably already guessed my inspiration for this. For those of you staring blankly at your screen, this is based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, and I’m hoping I won’t mutilate it. Looking for something a bit lighter to write after SDCH. Also +500 Karma Points to the first person who can correlate the characters in this story between the Shakesperean characters. By name.
- - -
Finery. That was the only way to describe his home, his possessions, his belongings - clothes of silk, sheets of satin, jewelry of gold with jewels of every color, plates and platters of silver, goblets of crystal, food and wine imported from the farthest reaches of his father’s pocketbook… and yet, somehow, there was only one word on his mind.
“It’s garbage!” Paul McCartney screamed as he hurled a china vase across the room, the maid letting out a shrill scream as it shattered on the wall directly above her head and showered her with shards of the once-expensive décor. “Get it out of here, I don’t even want to look at it!”
“Sir, please…” A butler began in a pleading voice only to throw his arms over his face to protect it from the large leather-bound book launched at him next.
“Get out! Get out of here, get out now!” The two obliged, the butler having to assist the now-sobbing maid out of the entry hall. Paul watched them go before letting out a yell of frustration and kicking at the remainder of the package he had pulled the vase and book from, the remaining contents cracking sickeningly as they made contact with the wall. Breathing heavily, he reached up to comb his hand through his shoulder-length brown locks, his eyes falling closed as he forcefully put a rein on his temper.
“Was that really necessary, brother?” Gritting his teeth, Paul felt his temper rising again. The hand in his hair clenched as he slowly turned to face the owner of the voice. George. He narrowed his eyes at the self-confident look on his brother’s face - that look that he just wanted to slap off - and took another deep breath.
“A package for you,” Paul said in a far more collected voice, lowering his hands and placing them in his pockets.
“I see that,” George said idly as he leaned against the cherry wood railing of the large spiral staircase, his eyes moving from the book with the broken spine, to the shattered vase, to the crumpled box with whatever else had been delivered.
“Probably one of your suitors,” Paul spat as he began up the staircase, slamming his feet down hard enough to rattle his teeth.
Sighing in a long-suffering manner, George toed a piece of broken vase before snapping idly. When a second maid rounded the corner and looked at him curiously, he pointed wordlessly to the destroyed gifts before walking off in the direction of his father’s study.
- - -
“Ah, Liverpool!”
“It-it’s dreary.”
“You’re looking at it with a pessimist’s eye. Look at it as an optimist would!”
“…it-it’s dreary a-and it sm-smells.”
“You’re hopeless,” Richard Starkey sighed as he shook his head at his best friend. Alan Caldwell - Rory, to his closest friends - just continued making a face at the surrounding buildings. “All right, so it’s not London,” Richard conceded, putting on his best ‘look on the bright side’ voice, “but it’ll be fine! I think it has character!”
“Mmm,” Rory muttered, shaking his head unenthusiastically.
“Look, you didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to,” Richard said as he continued walking down the street, sure Rory was following him and silently critiquing the scenery as he did so.
“Wh-why did y-you come h-here for st-studying? Here, of all p-p-places?”
“I saw it as an opportunity, you know that,” Richard said. “There’s a professor here, an old friend of my father’s, who offered to give me private lessons for free. You came because you wanted to, what was it, soak up the scenery?” He laughed at the face Rory made as Richard pointed out his previous words. Grinning to himself, Richard looked around at the houses they were passing. They were nice enough - large houses that looked as though they belonged to well-off families. And the neighborhood he was looking for his new schooling in.
“No! I won’t hear of it!”
The words were yelled so loudly, and close by, that they gave Richard and Rory pause. The two looked at each other and shrugged before following the sounds of the voices, which lead them to a courtyard in front of a large house. In the courtyard were five men - two younger and three older. Two of the older men were standing beside each other and seemed to be pleading with the third, while one of the younger men had fixed the two with a glare that would freeze hell. The third older man looked angry, and had a protective hand on the second young man.
It was the sight of him that made Richard stop and attempt to catch his breath.
He was the most beautiful man Richard had ever laid eyes on. Dark hair, large chocolate eyes, tall with long graceful limbs. He didn’t even know his name, and Richard could tell he was done for already. With the look that Rory was giving Richard, he could tell, too.
“Oh, g-give m-me a break,” Rory hissed, jabbing Richard in the side with his finger.
“Shh!” Richard said sharply as the man with his hand on the beauty’s shoulder began speaking again.
“I’ve told you time and time again, Mr. Best, Mr. Epstein,” he began sharply. “I will not - absolutely will not - give George’s hand in marriage before Paul is betrothed! I forbid it. I will not hear of it! If either of you is that desperate to marry you have my permission to court Paul at your leisure.”
The two men laughed at this, the first elbowing the second in the ribs. “I’d sooner marry a dog than fasten myself to that hell demon. What about you, Brian? Are you brave enough to tame the beast?”
“Are you kidding me?” the other young man, Paul, asked in an incredulous voice as he advanced on the man that Richard could only assume was his father. “Are you seriously trying to whore me out to them to get rid of me?”
“No such luck,” Brian said with a laugh. “I bet you wouldn’t even have any luck whoring yourself out for free until you got your attitude straight, much less any luck finding a husband. Right, Pete?”
Fire in his eyes, Paul rounded on Brian and Pete, causing their laughter to stop abruptly. Slowly advancing, he snarled, “Oh, don’t worry, Brian. You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise you, marrying you is the absolute last thing on my mind. But if any contact with you did happen to enter my thoughts, I promise you the best you would get is a chair broken over your head.”
“Oh, God help me,” Brian said as bravely as he could, backing away from Paul. Not to be outdone, or left too close, Pete followed his example. “McCartney, will you please keep a rein on him?”
“Paul, back off,” the father warned, his hand still on George’s shoulder. Shooting one last glare at the two men, Paul returned to where he had been standing, dusting his sleeves off. Turning his attention back to Brian and Pete, the father continued, “Listen. Until Paul is married, I’m sorry, but George is not available for even courting.” The look on George’s face made it clear that he didn’t appreciate it more than the two potential suitors did. “However, I will be hiring tutors to come and teach both Paul and George in my house. They require more schooling and I do not wish to send them off for it. George, go on, go inside. I need to speak with you.”
Nodding, George moved away from his father and made a brief bow to him. “Of course, sir. As you wish. Brother, please do not be angry with me,” he said as he redirected his attention to Paul. “I’m sure that, one day, you’ll find someone who will put up with you.” With a sarcastic smile, he nodded to Paul, then to Brian and Pete, and turned back into the house.
Ignoring the murderous look on Paul’s face at George’s comment and smile, the father nodded. “Paul, you may stay out here. As I’ve said, I need to speak with your brother.”
“I may stay out here?” Paul bit out as he watched his father leave. “Are you serious? What, am I some sort of child that I need to be told where to go and what to do?” He looked Brian and Pete over before rolling his eyes. “I could have a better conversation with the dishes than these idiots,” he muttered as he headed back into the house, the door slamming behind him.
“Go to hell!” Pete yelled at the closed door as soon as it was safe to do so. “Do you believe him?”
“He’s always been like that,” Brian said as he rolled his eyes. “But, rivals as we both are, we have a rather pressing problem. Are you following me?”
“If Paul doesn’t get married, then neither can George,” Pete began. “So… either we both give up on George…”
“Or we get Paul married.”
“Not it.”
“I’m not talking about us!” Brian said quickly. “We need to find him someone else to be his husband.”
“I don’t know anyone that stupid or desperate,” Pete muttered absently.
“Maybe not stupid or desperate,” Brian said. “If we could find someone not only as bad as Paul, but worse…”
“Is that even possible?” Pete laughed.
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”
“Well, I know what I’m going to do,” Pete began in a self-important voice. “I think I’m going to go hire a tutor to present to old McCartney. That’ll certainly get me in his good graces. Maybe he’ll consent to allow me to marry George if I do that!”
“Oh, right, that’ll work real well. But there’s no use dwelling on it now. I’ll see you around,” Brian said as he waved. Pete nodded before they both left the courtyard, continuing down the street.
“Well. Th-that was a sm-small epic,” Rory muttered before turning his attention to Richard. “…oh for G-God’s sake,” he sighed before jabbing him again. “Y-you still w-with me?”
“What? Yeah, yeah,” Richard said in the tone of a man just awoken from a heavy sleep. “Did you see him, Rory? He was so beautiful…”
“Y-yeah, I s-saw him. Th-the more p-p-pressing question is d-did you s-see his b-brother?”
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Richard continued in a dazed voice, wincing when Rory slapped the back of his head. “What!?”
“Y-you don’t ev-ven know him, so st-stop it! L-look, sure, h-he was beautiful, but in c-case you didn’t not-tice, he h-has a l-lunatic for a b-brother! H-how do you p-plan t-to get anywhere n-near him? Just f-forget about it!”
“…what was it that his father said? Something about hiring tutors?”
“S-something like th-that, for both his s-sons, to t-tutor them i-in his h-house.”
As Richard snapped in an inspired manner, Rory felt a sense of dread flooding him, and nearly winced. “That’s it!”
“I don’t even kn-know what you’re t-talking about b-but I doubt i-it’s a good idea.”
“He’s hiring tutors! Brilliant!” Turning, Richard slapped one hand on Rory’s shoulder. “You’re a genius!”
“I-I am?”
“Of course! Look, this is what I’ll do. I’ll disguise myself as a tutor and present myself as such to that man, Pete Best. He said he was looking to hire one. Then I can work on winning George’s heart for myself!”
This exclamation was followed with a blank look. Slowly, Rory raised his hands to Richard’s shoulders and shook him. “Are you out of y-your bloody mind?!” he practically screamed. “Y-you can’t d-do that! You’re s-supposed to be h-here studying, y-your father will be f-furious if you d-don’t go, and y-you can’t d-do both!”
“…oh. Right,” Richard said, deflating a bit as soon as Rory stopped shaking him. “…no. Wait! I’ve got it!” Rory groaned and slapped his forehead, but Richard just continued. “I have it! It’s perfect! No one here knows me by anything but my name! They know my father but they’ve never seen my face! And they don’t know you at all, so… Look. We’ll trade places. You be Richard Starkey, and I’ll be Alan Caldwell, language and history instructor! I’ll become a tutor in the McCartney house, and you stay with the professor and work on winning old McCartney over! Then, when he gives permission for Richard Starkey to marry his youngest son, he’ll have no idea that he gave it to me!”
“Love has m-made you an i-idiot,” Rory said incredulously.
“No! No, it’s perfect!” Richard said enthusiastically. “Besides, you owe me so much for the butter incident, but if you do this for me I’ll completely strike off that debt-”
“I’ll d-do it,” Rory said quickly before Richard could even finish his sentence.
“Brilliant,” Richard said before running off. “Come on, we have work to do!”
“…we’re going t-to get arrested,” Rory muttered before taking off after his friend.
- - -
- - -
Okay. Chapter one is over! Next chapter is chapter… two! Duh! In which John will come in and… just… generally be John, and we all know how much fun that is. At least, I’ll continue this if anyone, you know, likes it.