Not A Super Junior Fanfic (but it really is)
Title: Not A Super Junior Fanfic (but it really is)
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Super Junior is my first Kpop love, but I still can't claim them as mine.
Summary: The Looney Curse has been cast upon three beautiful princess. Who is going to save them?
A/N: Okay, so I am going to explain myself before I do anything else. I tell people that Shifting Fortunes was my first fanfic, but in reality this one was my first.]
I used to belong to a writer's forum (like a real one and post stories that I could actually sell and submit and stuff), and one day, we had a short story contest. We had to write a story based on a certain picture and it couldn't be more than 3000 words. One of the others on the site asked about fanfiction, and fanfiction was not allowed on that site, because it was a place for writers who were more interested in selling their work, which you can't do with fanfiction. So as a joke, I wrote this story for the contest.
It is completely SuJu oriented, with a lot of little SuJu jokes from shows like Full House and/or their music videos. The three princesses in the story were other members of the writer's forum. And the narrator ... well ... *giggles* ... you'll see.
I totally forgot about it until I mentioned writing a SuJu fanfic earlier.
This is pure crack.
Three beautiful princesses walked along the Ladire River. It was near lunch time, but none wished to go indoors. It was too beautiful, with the sun hitting the water and casting a soft glow around the entire city of Ladire. Being princesses meant that they could have lunch outside, and Jaleh, being the oldest, thought of it first.
“Say, other beautiful princesses,” she said, “how about we have lunch outside?”
“That is a great idea,” said Sarah Jane, the youngest of the three beautiful princesses.
“Let’s go over to the gazebo,” Tails said. Now, the narrator is sure that Jaleh and Sarah Jane knew Tail’s real name, but the narrator only knew her nickname, but it was a beautiful nickname perfectly suited for a beautiful princess.
The three beautiful princesses made their way to the sun-dappled gazebo.
“You are looking beautiful today, princess,” Jaleh said to Tails. And she was. Her dark brown hair was pulled up and little ringlets framed her face. Her blue dress was adorned with pearls and lace.
“Thank you, princess,” Tails said. “You are looking beautiful as well.” Jaleh’s deep auburn hair was long, cascading across her shoulders and contrasting beautifully with her green dress.
“What about me?” Sarah Jane asked. Her blonde hair was up, held back by a tiara. Crystals in her yellow gown sparkled in the sunlight.
“Of course, you’re beautiful, Princess,” Jaleh said.
“Shall we call a servant for lunch?” Tails asked.
Before Jaleh could agree, there was a flash of bright light. Upbeat music filled the air for a moment and then faded with the light.
The three beautiful princesses could only stare.
Three black clad, gorgeous Asian guys stood in the gazebo. All three wore tight black pants, white t-shirts. The tallest had black hair, messily styled. He wore a suit jacket over his t-shirt, but it was much too short to be a proper jacket. One may say it was only there as an accessory.
The next one wore a ripped up vest and gloves with no fingers. His blond hair was longer than a man should wear it and it looked as if he had just stepped into a gust of wind.
The third man’s red hair was twisted into more elaborate curls than Tails’. An intricate weaving of black fabric wrapped around his upper body and left arm.
All three were covered in sparkly silver accessories.
“Who are you?” Jaleh asked.
“Well,” the black haired man started.
“WAIT‼!”
The six of them jerked in surprise, and then looked around in confusion. No one else had joined them.
“Sorry. It’s me, the narrator.”
The three beautiful princesses looked at each other in confusion. The guys just stood there looking gorgeous.
“Again, I’m sorry,” the narrator continued, “but I’m afraid I can’t let this story continue.”
“Why not?” Tails demanded. “I’m hungry. I want some lunch.”
“I could eat,” the blond man said.
“Well, it’s just that these three guys are members of the Korean pop band Super Junior.”
“Super Who?” Jaleh asked in disdain.
“Super Junior.”
“I’ve never heard of them.”
That shocked our dear narrator. She could have sworn that everyone knew who Super Junior was. “In any case, I can’t let this story continue because this is now classified as fan fiction and fanfics are not allowed on this writer’s forum.”
“But we’re not these guys,” the black haired man said suddenly.
“Oh really?” the narrator snapped. “So your name isn’t Siwon? And that’s not Hankyung and Heechul with his crazy red hair.”
The three guys looked at each other and then said no, in unison.
The narrator scoffed. “Believe me, I’d recognize you guys. I’m totally obsessed.”
The red head looked in the direction of the narrator’s voice (up) and smiled, his big brown eyes wide with innocence. Before he could talk, the narrator said, “Don’t even try to flatter me, Heechul. I can’t let you guys do this.”
“But I’m not Heechul,” he protested.
“What’s your name then?”
“I don’t know. You’re the narrator. You’re supposed to make them up.”
That stumped our dear narrator.
“Besides,” the man who was not Heechul continued. “You said they were Korean. Are we speaking in Korean?”
“Well, no.”
“I would think that our English would be a bit stilted if we were Korean.”
“Yes,” said the man who was not Hankyung. “We’d only say things like, ‘you’re so gorgeous,’ and ‘nice weather.’”
“That’s true,” the narrator said. “Okay, so I’m not entirely convinced, but you have given yourself another chance. But if for ONE MOMENT I think this is in any way a fanfic, I’m ending the story.”
“Fair enough,” the man who was not Siwon said. “Where were we?”
“We were just about to greet these lovely princesses,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said.
“Lovely?” Sarah Jane snapped. “We are not lovely. We are beautiful.”
“Our apologies,” the man who was not Hankyung said with a bow.
“Yes, you should apologize,” Jaleh said. “You just show up here, in strange clothes with absurd haircuts and interrupt our lunch. Very rude of you I’d say.”
“We’re sorr-“
“Sorry, we know,” Tails said, cutting off the man who was not Heechul. “Let’s go somewhere else for our lunch.”
The three beautiful princesses sniffed and flicked their hair before leaving the gazebo.
“Well, that was interesting,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said.
“It’s the Looney Curse,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said.
“What?” the other two asked.
“The Looney Curse. I’m sure of it. They have been bespelled to be impervious to our charms and desires.”
“Well, heck,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said. “Any way to break it?”
“I don’t think so. Well, not just the three of us. I mean, our powers together are strong, but we would have a chance if there were more of us.”
“How many more?” the narrator suddenly asked.
The three guys jumped and looked around.
“If you say ten more then I’m going to end this story because there are thirteen members in Super Junior.”
“Not ten more,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said with that arrogant smile of his. “Just one or two more.”
“Alright.”
The man who wasn’t Siwon pulled out his cell phone and started talking into it. It didn’t sound like English, but the man who wasn’t Heechul was looking at the narrator with those big brown eyes and she missed the conversation.
There was another bright light, and two more black clad, gorgeous Asian guys popped into the picture.
“Wait,” the narrator said. “That looks like Donghae and Ryeowook.”
“Who?” asked the man who wasn’t Donghae.
“She thinks we’re part of this Korean pop band called Super Junior,” the man who wasn’t Siwon explained.
The newcomers looked towards the narrator, faces set with disbelief. The man who wasn’t Hankyung told them about the situation with the three beautiful princesses.
“Huddle up,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said, and the five of them whispered, so the narrator couldn’t tell if they were speaking in Korean or in English, but soon they broke up. After a couple of conspiratorial winks, they headed off after the three beautiful princesses.
“So, you’re a narrator,” said the man who wasn’t Heechul.
“Yep.”
“That’s kinda like being an MC on a TV show, right?”
“What would you know about being an MC?”
“Um, nothing, really. Just trying to understand what you do.”
“I guess it’s the same thing,” the narrator said.
“How long have you been narrating?”
“Oh, for awhile now. It’s a great job and I get benefits and my coworkers are pretty cool. So, what’s going on?”
“Oh, the guys are going to try to break the Looney Curse on the three beautiful princesses using our own special powers.”
“Ah. This should be interesting.”
The five black clad, gorgeous Asian guys came upon the three beautiful princesses sitting at a table, enjoying a light lunch.
“What do you want now?” Jaleh demanded.
“Is that any way to treat guests in your kingdom?” the man who wasn’t Siwon asked.
“Unwanted guests, yes,” Tails snapped.
“But come on,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said with a smile at Tails. “I can’t stop thinking about u, girl.”
“Well, you are out of our thoughts.”
The five black clad, gorgeous Asian guys exchanged a look and nodded.
“It sure is warm out here.” The man who wasn’t Siwon took off the short black jacket and with slow deliberate movements, grasped the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it painstakingly over his head. The revealed six pack abs and pec muscles were enough to make our dear narrator swoon, but the three beautiful princesses just scowled.
“Perhaps you’d rather have a performance,” the man who wasn’t Donghae said. “I’m quite the dancer.”
Sarah Jane sniffed. From somewhere, a beat started. The narrator almost objected because she thought she recognized a Super Junior song, but it was just Justin Timberlake’s song, “Sexy Back.” The man who wasn’t Donghae jumped onto the table and put together one of the finest dance routines of popping steps, twirls, sexy slides and sly smiles that our dear narrator has ever seen.
The princesses looked on with disdain.
“Perhaps something a bit more traditional is to your liking,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said. A soft classical beat with a vaguely oriental feel filled the area. The man who wasn’t Hankyung flowed to it, arms and legs loose, as he twirled and flew in time to it, ending with a spectacular jump and triple twist.
“Still not enough,” the man who wasn’t Ryeowook said. With a flick of his hands, a piano appeared and after playing a cute rendition of Super Mario Brothers music, he sang a slow ballad. The narrator got lost in the voice and only understood a couple of lines. She was sure the rest was in English too though, so she didn’t protest.
“You guys are wasting your time,” Jaleh said. “We don’t like you.”
“The Looney Curse,” the man who wasn’t Donghae muttered. “It is too strong. We’re going to need help.”
“Wait,” the narrator said.
“Yes,” the man who wasn’t Heechul asked with that smile of his.
The narrator forgot why she interrupted.
“You like me,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said.
“I can’t help it,” the narrator replied.
“Of course you can’t. That’s what I’m here for: for women to fall in love with.”
There was another flash of light. The man who wasn’t Euhuky … Eunhuk … Eunhyuk, there we go. The man who wasn’t Eunhyuk was suddenly there. After being briefed by the man who wasn’t Siwon, the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk crouched in front of the three beautiful princesses and rapped his precious little heart out. Faster and faster. The narrator had a hard time understanding rap in English, so she couldn’t be sure if the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk was rapping in English or not.
“This curse is strong,” said the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk.
The man who wasn’t Siwon sighed and pulled out his cell phone again. After another conversation that the narrator ignored in favor of staring at the man who wasn’t Heechul, there was another flash of light. The man who wasn’t Eunhyuk described the situation to the man who wasn’t Sungmin.
“Maybe a bit of my skills will help,” he said. After a few deep breaths, the man who wasn’t Sungmin launched into an elaborate display of martial arts. Twisting kicks and flips and otherwise contorting his body ensued. He even launched into a routine with a long stick and nunchucks, but afterwards, the three beautiful princesses yawned delicately.
“We need to get Yesung here to sing for them,” said the man who wasn’t Sungmin. “His voice can break any girl’s heart.”
“Wait, Yes-“ the narrator started, but the man who wasn’t Heechul suddenly smiled again.
The narrator smiled back. What was she saying? There was another flash of light. An absolutely gorgeous voice lofted on the air, and the narrator was sure she could just fall into the big brown eyes of the man who wasn’t Heechul while listening to it.
“It’s not enough!” one of them shouted above the rest. “We need our combined powers of talent and charisma. Nothing can stop us if we work together.”
There was another flash of light, and then after a moment, a shout, combined of many voices to form one of: “We are Super JuniOR! Fighting!”
The narrator really wanted to protest that blatant display of fanfiction, but she couldn’t pull her eyes from the man who wasn’t Heechul. She had the vaguest notion that the man who wasn’t Heechul was supposed to be distracting her while the others did who knew what to get the three beautiful princesses free from the Looney Curse.
“I am attractive,” the man who wasn’t Heechul crooned.
“I know.”
“And I can sing. Did you know that?”
“Yes, I knew that.” Wait. Singing? The narrator gave herself a shake and paid attention again. Yep, there were definitely more than five or six black clad, gorgeous Asian guys there now, but they were dancing and singing. She couldn’t concentrate on the song though because she was trying to count them. If there were thirteen, she was going to end this story, but they were moving too much. She couldn’t remember which ones she’d counted and which she hadn’t.
The dance ended with them all surrounding the three beautiful princesses.
Jaleh swooned, but the man who wasn’t Siwon was there to catch her.
Tails put a hand to her forehead. “Feeling dizzy,” she said and with a stumble step fell into the waiting arms of the man who wasn’t Hankyung.
Sarah Jane stared adoringly up at the man who wasn’t Kibum. “That was amazing,” she said. “You guys are awesome.”
“Fantastic job, guys,” the man who wasn’t Leeteuk said. “The curse is broken. We’ve got to get back to rehearsal.”
“But this place is so nice,” said the man who wasn’t Kyuhyun. “It’s so peaceful.”
“And lunch isn’t over yet,” said the man who wasn’t Shindong.
“Our leader is right,” said the man who wasn’t Kangin. “We need to go.”
“Give us a moment,” said the man who wasn’t Siwon. “We’ll follow you.”
With one arm out, fingers splayed, the majority of the black clad, gorgeous Asian guys swirled and disappeared, leaving only the guys who weren’t Siwon, Heechul, Kibum and Hankyung.
“We’d like to marry u,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said.
The others agreed.
“Yes, we’ve been waiting for a long time to find the right women for us,” said the man who wasn’t Kibum.
Tails grimaced.
“What’s wrong?” the man who wasn’t Hankyung asked. “I make a mean Beijing fried rice.”
“Well, um, is it okay if you wait longer? I’m not yet of age.”
“Me, neither,” Sarah Jane said with a frown.
The man who wasn’t Hankyung let Tails fall to the ground. The man who wasn’t Kibum stepped away from Sarah Jane.
“And you?” the man who wasn’t Siwon asked Jaleh.
She looked away from his deep brown eyes and gorgeous dimples. “I’m already married.”
Siwon shook his head sadly and stepped away.
“Don’t get us wrong,” Tails said. “We are really grateful that you broke the Looney Curse. It would be devastating to not know about the talent and charm you guys have.”
“’Don’t get us wrong’ she says,” the man who wasn’t Kibum snapped.
“Calm down,” Jaleh said. “Our intentions were good.”
“What about you?” the man who wasn’t Heechul suddenly asked the narrator. “I’ve stayed because you’re in love with me.”
The narrator didn’t answer.
“She’s married, too,” Jaleh said.
“Is this true?” the man who wasn’t Heechul asked.
The narrator nodded, causing the whole beautiful scene to shake. “Sorry. Yes, it’s true.”
“Typical.”
The four black-clad, gorgeous Asian guys exchanged a look and shook their heads. “Let’s get to rehearsal before our leader gets mad,” said the man who wasn’t Hankyung.
“But wait!” Tails said.
The four guys turned.
“Stay for lunch,” she said quickly.
They shook their heads. “We were here under the impression that there were three beautiful maidens that needed our help,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said. “And we would find ourselves wives.”
“Who gave you that idea?”
The man who wasn’t Heechul shook his head at the narrator.
“What?” the narrator cried. “This is a fantasy story! In the fantasy section! I didn’t break any of the rules. I had the setting based on a picture. It’s only at 2,753 words right now and it can’t be over 3000.”
“You shouldn’t play with people’s emotions like that,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said. “Especially your own. Let’s go.”
The four guys put out their hands and with a shout of Fighting! disappeared.
“Stupid narrator,” Tails muttered. “Putting our dreams right there in front of us and then snatching them away.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll work for her again,” Jaleh said. “If I find out she’s the narrator in a story I’m in, I’ll see what I can do about killing my character off.”
With these sad words, our dear narrator let the girls go back to lunch. No way would she ever forget those big brown eyes, that arrogant smile and that bright red hair. The man who wasn’t Heechul would always be in her heart.
.
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Super Junior is my first Kpop love, but I still can't claim them as mine.
Summary: The Looney Curse has been cast upon three beautiful princess. Who is going to save them?
A/N: Okay, so I am going to explain myself before I do anything else. I tell people that Shifting Fortunes was my first fanfic, but in reality this one was my first.]
I used to belong to a writer's forum (like a real one and post stories that I could actually sell and submit and stuff), and one day, we had a short story contest. We had to write a story based on a certain picture and it couldn't be more than 3000 words. One of the others on the site asked about fanfiction, and fanfiction was not allowed on that site, because it was a place for writers who were more interested in selling their work, which you can't do with fanfiction. So as a joke, I wrote this story for the contest.
It is completely SuJu oriented, with a lot of little SuJu jokes from shows like Full House and/or their music videos. The three princesses in the story were other members of the writer's forum. And the narrator ... well ... *giggles* ... you'll see.
I totally forgot about it until I mentioned writing a SuJu fanfic earlier.
This is pure crack.
Three beautiful princesses walked along the Ladire River. It was near lunch time, but none wished to go indoors. It was too beautiful, with the sun hitting the water and casting a soft glow around the entire city of Ladire. Being princesses meant that they could have lunch outside, and Jaleh, being the oldest, thought of it first.
“Say, other beautiful princesses,” she said, “how about we have lunch outside?”
“That is a great idea,” said Sarah Jane, the youngest of the three beautiful princesses.
“Let’s go over to the gazebo,” Tails said. Now, the narrator is sure that Jaleh and Sarah Jane knew Tail’s real name, but the narrator only knew her nickname, but it was a beautiful nickname perfectly suited for a beautiful princess.
The three beautiful princesses made their way to the sun-dappled gazebo.
“You are looking beautiful today, princess,” Jaleh said to Tails. And she was. Her dark brown hair was pulled up and little ringlets framed her face. Her blue dress was adorned with pearls and lace.
“Thank you, princess,” Tails said. “You are looking beautiful as well.” Jaleh’s deep auburn hair was long, cascading across her shoulders and contrasting beautifully with her green dress.
“What about me?” Sarah Jane asked. Her blonde hair was up, held back by a tiara. Crystals in her yellow gown sparkled in the sunlight.
“Of course, you’re beautiful, Princess,” Jaleh said.
“Shall we call a servant for lunch?” Tails asked.
Before Jaleh could agree, there was a flash of bright light. Upbeat music filled the air for a moment and then faded with the light.
The three beautiful princesses could only stare.
Three black clad, gorgeous Asian guys stood in the gazebo. All three wore tight black pants, white t-shirts. The tallest had black hair, messily styled. He wore a suit jacket over his t-shirt, but it was much too short to be a proper jacket. One may say it was only there as an accessory.
The next one wore a ripped up vest and gloves with no fingers. His blond hair was longer than a man should wear it and it looked as if he had just stepped into a gust of wind.
The third man’s red hair was twisted into more elaborate curls than Tails’. An intricate weaving of black fabric wrapped around his upper body and left arm.
All three were covered in sparkly silver accessories.
“Who are you?” Jaleh asked.
“Well,” the black haired man started.
“WAIT‼!”
The six of them jerked in surprise, and then looked around in confusion. No one else had joined them.
“Sorry. It’s me, the narrator.”
The three beautiful princesses looked at each other in confusion. The guys just stood there looking gorgeous.
“Again, I’m sorry,” the narrator continued, “but I’m afraid I can’t let this story continue.”
“Why not?” Tails demanded. “I’m hungry. I want some lunch.”
“I could eat,” the blond man said.
“Well, it’s just that these three guys are members of the Korean pop band Super Junior.”
“Super Who?” Jaleh asked in disdain.
“Super Junior.”
“I’ve never heard of them.”
That shocked our dear narrator. She could have sworn that everyone knew who Super Junior was. “In any case, I can’t let this story continue because this is now classified as fan fiction and fanfics are not allowed on this writer’s forum.”
“But we’re not these guys,” the black haired man said suddenly.
“Oh really?” the narrator snapped. “So your name isn’t Siwon? And that’s not Hankyung and Heechul with his crazy red hair.”
The three guys looked at each other and then said no, in unison.
The narrator scoffed. “Believe me, I’d recognize you guys. I’m totally obsessed.”
The red head looked in the direction of the narrator’s voice (up) and smiled, his big brown eyes wide with innocence. Before he could talk, the narrator said, “Don’t even try to flatter me, Heechul. I can’t let you guys do this.”
“But I’m not Heechul,” he protested.
“What’s your name then?”
“I don’t know. You’re the narrator. You’re supposed to make them up.”
That stumped our dear narrator.
“Besides,” the man who was not Heechul continued. “You said they were Korean. Are we speaking in Korean?”
“Well, no.”
“I would think that our English would be a bit stilted if we were Korean.”
“Yes,” said the man who was not Hankyung. “We’d only say things like, ‘you’re so gorgeous,’ and ‘nice weather.’”
“That’s true,” the narrator said. “Okay, so I’m not entirely convinced, but you have given yourself another chance. But if for ONE MOMENT I think this is in any way a fanfic, I’m ending the story.”
“Fair enough,” the man who was not Siwon said. “Where were we?”
“We were just about to greet these lovely princesses,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said.
“Lovely?” Sarah Jane snapped. “We are not lovely. We are beautiful.”
“Our apologies,” the man who was not Hankyung said with a bow.
“Yes, you should apologize,” Jaleh said. “You just show up here, in strange clothes with absurd haircuts and interrupt our lunch. Very rude of you I’d say.”
“We’re sorr-“
“Sorry, we know,” Tails said, cutting off the man who was not Heechul. “Let’s go somewhere else for our lunch.”
The three beautiful princesses sniffed and flicked their hair before leaving the gazebo.
“Well, that was interesting,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said.
“It’s the Looney Curse,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said.
“What?” the other two asked.
“The Looney Curse. I’m sure of it. They have been bespelled to be impervious to our charms and desires.”
“Well, heck,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said. “Any way to break it?”
“I don’t think so. Well, not just the three of us. I mean, our powers together are strong, but we would have a chance if there were more of us.”
“How many more?” the narrator suddenly asked.
The three guys jumped and looked around.
“If you say ten more then I’m going to end this story because there are thirteen members in Super Junior.”
“Not ten more,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said with that arrogant smile of his. “Just one or two more.”
“Alright.”
The man who wasn’t Siwon pulled out his cell phone and started talking into it. It didn’t sound like English, but the man who wasn’t Heechul was looking at the narrator with those big brown eyes and she missed the conversation.
There was another bright light, and two more black clad, gorgeous Asian guys popped into the picture.
“Wait,” the narrator said. “That looks like Donghae and Ryeowook.”
“Who?” asked the man who wasn’t Donghae.
“She thinks we’re part of this Korean pop band called Super Junior,” the man who wasn’t Siwon explained.
The newcomers looked towards the narrator, faces set with disbelief. The man who wasn’t Hankyung told them about the situation with the three beautiful princesses.
“Huddle up,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said, and the five of them whispered, so the narrator couldn’t tell if they were speaking in Korean or in English, but soon they broke up. After a couple of conspiratorial winks, they headed off after the three beautiful princesses.
“So, you’re a narrator,” said the man who wasn’t Heechul.
“Yep.”
“That’s kinda like being an MC on a TV show, right?”
“What would you know about being an MC?”
“Um, nothing, really. Just trying to understand what you do.”
“I guess it’s the same thing,” the narrator said.
“How long have you been narrating?”
“Oh, for awhile now. It’s a great job and I get benefits and my coworkers are pretty cool. So, what’s going on?”
“Oh, the guys are going to try to break the Looney Curse on the three beautiful princesses using our own special powers.”
“Ah. This should be interesting.”
The five black clad, gorgeous Asian guys came upon the three beautiful princesses sitting at a table, enjoying a light lunch.
“What do you want now?” Jaleh demanded.
“Is that any way to treat guests in your kingdom?” the man who wasn’t Siwon asked.
“Unwanted guests, yes,” Tails snapped.
“But come on,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said with a smile at Tails. “I can’t stop thinking about u, girl.”
“Well, you are out of our thoughts.”
The five black clad, gorgeous Asian guys exchanged a look and nodded.
“It sure is warm out here.” The man who wasn’t Siwon took off the short black jacket and with slow deliberate movements, grasped the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it painstakingly over his head. The revealed six pack abs and pec muscles were enough to make our dear narrator swoon, but the three beautiful princesses just scowled.
“Perhaps you’d rather have a performance,” the man who wasn’t Donghae said. “I’m quite the dancer.”
Sarah Jane sniffed. From somewhere, a beat started. The narrator almost objected because she thought she recognized a Super Junior song, but it was just Justin Timberlake’s song, “Sexy Back.” The man who wasn’t Donghae jumped onto the table and put together one of the finest dance routines of popping steps, twirls, sexy slides and sly smiles that our dear narrator has ever seen.
The princesses looked on with disdain.
“Perhaps something a bit more traditional is to your liking,” the man who wasn’t Hankyung said. A soft classical beat with a vaguely oriental feel filled the area. The man who wasn’t Hankyung flowed to it, arms and legs loose, as he twirled and flew in time to it, ending with a spectacular jump and triple twist.
“Still not enough,” the man who wasn’t Ryeowook said. With a flick of his hands, a piano appeared and after playing a cute rendition of Super Mario Brothers music, he sang a slow ballad. The narrator got lost in the voice and only understood a couple of lines. She was sure the rest was in English too though, so she didn’t protest.
“You guys are wasting your time,” Jaleh said. “We don’t like you.”
“The Looney Curse,” the man who wasn’t Donghae muttered. “It is too strong. We’re going to need help.”
“Wait,” the narrator said.
“Yes,” the man who wasn’t Heechul asked with that smile of his.
The narrator forgot why she interrupted.
“You like me,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said.
“I can’t help it,” the narrator replied.
“Of course you can’t. That’s what I’m here for: for women to fall in love with.”
There was another flash of light. The man who wasn’t Euhuky … Eunhuk … Eunhyuk, there we go. The man who wasn’t Eunhyuk was suddenly there. After being briefed by the man who wasn’t Siwon, the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk crouched in front of the three beautiful princesses and rapped his precious little heart out. Faster and faster. The narrator had a hard time understanding rap in English, so she couldn’t be sure if the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk was rapping in English or not.
“This curse is strong,” said the man who wasn’t Eunhyuk.
The man who wasn’t Siwon sighed and pulled out his cell phone again. After another conversation that the narrator ignored in favor of staring at the man who wasn’t Heechul, there was another flash of light. The man who wasn’t Eunhyuk described the situation to the man who wasn’t Sungmin.
“Maybe a bit of my skills will help,” he said. After a few deep breaths, the man who wasn’t Sungmin launched into an elaborate display of martial arts. Twisting kicks and flips and otherwise contorting his body ensued. He even launched into a routine with a long stick and nunchucks, but afterwards, the three beautiful princesses yawned delicately.
“We need to get Yesung here to sing for them,” said the man who wasn’t Sungmin. “His voice can break any girl’s heart.”
“Wait, Yes-“ the narrator started, but the man who wasn’t Heechul suddenly smiled again.
The narrator smiled back. What was she saying? There was another flash of light. An absolutely gorgeous voice lofted on the air, and the narrator was sure she could just fall into the big brown eyes of the man who wasn’t Heechul while listening to it.
“It’s not enough!” one of them shouted above the rest. “We need our combined powers of talent and charisma. Nothing can stop us if we work together.”
There was another flash of light, and then after a moment, a shout, combined of many voices to form one of: “We are Super JuniOR! Fighting!”
The narrator really wanted to protest that blatant display of fanfiction, but she couldn’t pull her eyes from the man who wasn’t Heechul. She had the vaguest notion that the man who wasn’t Heechul was supposed to be distracting her while the others did who knew what to get the three beautiful princesses free from the Looney Curse.
“I am attractive,” the man who wasn’t Heechul crooned.
“I know.”
“And I can sing. Did you know that?”
“Yes, I knew that.” Wait. Singing? The narrator gave herself a shake and paid attention again. Yep, there were definitely more than five or six black clad, gorgeous Asian guys there now, but they were dancing and singing. She couldn’t concentrate on the song though because she was trying to count them. If there were thirteen, she was going to end this story, but they were moving too much. She couldn’t remember which ones she’d counted and which she hadn’t.
The dance ended with them all surrounding the three beautiful princesses.
Jaleh swooned, but the man who wasn’t Siwon was there to catch her.
Tails put a hand to her forehead. “Feeling dizzy,” she said and with a stumble step fell into the waiting arms of the man who wasn’t Hankyung.
Sarah Jane stared adoringly up at the man who wasn’t Kibum. “That was amazing,” she said. “You guys are awesome.”
“Fantastic job, guys,” the man who wasn’t Leeteuk said. “The curse is broken. We’ve got to get back to rehearsal.”
“But this place is so nice,” said the man who wasn’t Kyuhyun. “It’s so peaceful.”
“And lunch isn’t over yet,” said the man who wasn’t Shindong.
“Our leader is right,” said the man who wasn’t Kangin. “We need to go.”
“Give us a moment,” said the man who wasn’t Siwon. “We’ll follow you.”
With one arm out, fingers splayed, the majority of the black clad, gorgeous Asian guys swirled and disappeared, leaving only the guys who weren’t Siwon, Heechul, Kibum and Hankyung.
“We’d like to marry u,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said.
The others agreed.
“Yes, we’ve been waiting for a long time to find the right women for us,” said the man who wasn’t Kibum.
Tails grimaced.
“What’s wrong?” the man who wasn’t Hankyung asked. “I make a mean Beijing fried rice.”
“Well, um, is it okay if you wait longer? I’m not yet of age.”
“Me, neither,” Sarah Jane said with a frown.
The man who wasn’t Hankyung let Tails fall to the ground. The man who wasn’t Kibum stepped away from Sarah Jane.
“And you?” the man who wasn’t Siwon asked Jaleh.
She looked away from his deep brown eyes and gorgeous dimples. “I’m already married.”
Siwon shook his head sadly and stepped away.
“Don’t get us wrong,” Tails said. “We are really grateful that you broke the Looney Curse. It would be devastating to not know about the talent and charm you guys have.”
“’Don’t get us wrong’ she says,” the man who wasn’t Kibum snapped.
“Calm down,” Jaleh said. “Our intentions were good.”
“What about you?” the man who wasn’t Heechul suddenly asked the narrator. “I’ve stayed because you’re in love with me.”
The narrator didn’t answer.
“She’s married, too,” Jaleh said.
“Is this true?” the man who wasn’t Heechul asked.
The narrator nodded, causing the whole beautiful scene to shake. “Sorry. Yes, it’s true.”
“Typical.”
The four black-clad, gorgeous Asian guys exchanged a look and shook their heads. “Let’s get to rehearsal before our leader gets mad,” said the man who wasn’t Hankyung.
“But wait!” Tails said.
The four guys turned.
“Stay for lunch,” she said quickly.
They shook their heads. “We were here under the impression that there were three beautiful maidens that needed our help,” the man who wasn’t Siwon said. “And we would find ourselves wives.”
“Who gave you that idea?”
The man who wasn’t Heechul shook his head at the narrator.
“What?” the narrator cried. “This is a fantasy story! In the fantasy section! I didn’t break any of the rules. I had the setting based on a picture. It’s only at 2,753 words right now and it can’t be over 3000.”
“You shouldn’t play with people’s emotions like that,” the man who wasn’t Heechul said. “Especially your own. Let’s go.”
The four guys put out their hands and with a shout of Fighting! disappeared.
“Stupid narrator,” Tails muttered. “Putting our dreams right there in front of us and then snatching them away.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll work for her again,” Jaleh said. “If I find out she’s the narrator in a story I’m in, I’ll see what I can do about killing my character off.”
With these sad words, our dear narrator let the girls go back to lunch. No way would she ever forget those big brown eyes, that arrogant smile and that bright red hair. The man who wasn’t Heechul would always be in her heart.
.