Don't Hate Me 3/5?
Title: Don't Hate Me 3/5?
Pairing: Jaejoong/Changmin, Jaejoong/Yoochun BFF-ery with benefits
Rating: eventual NC-17
Disclaimer: Mine? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Damn it.
Warnings: ... um, possible incest and a tiny bit of pedophilia if you really want to think of it that way
Summary: Senior year of high school, Jaejoong's mom gets married. But a new, quiet step-brother isn't going to distract Jaejoong from what's important. Right?
Poster credit goes to hichanchen. Thank you, darling! ♥♥♥
Changmin was awake and ready to go the next morning, and they walked to school together.
Jaejoong wanted to say something, but didn’t know what to say. He’d jerked off again after dinner. After watching Changmin’s face smile every time he praised him.
Changmin didn’t seem to know what to say either.
Jae was so confused. Last night, Changmin had smiled more and touched his arm more. Jae couldn’t tell if it was because he liked him or because they were brothers now.
“I’ll see you later,” Jae said, heading for the door to the roof.
“Jaejo-um, where are you going?”
For a moment, Jaejoong almost told him, and then shut his mouth because if he told him, he’d invite him, and the roof was JaeChun territory. No one went on the roof if there was a chance that JaeChun were up there. No one.
“Meeting Yoochun,” Jae said shortly and turned away from Changmin’s frown.
Just brothers, Jae repeated to himself.
Jae stomped up the four flights of stairs to the roof, slammed the door open, and stalked across the concrete to Yoochun who was leaning on the railing. He fisted his hands in Yoochun’s school jacket and buried his face in his neck.
Yoochun opened his mouth like he was going to make a smart comment, and then shut it. He tossed his cigarette and then held Jae tightly. They were the same height, same clothes size, same shoe size. Fuck, even their cocks were close to the same size. But at times like this, Jae felt really, really small, and only Yoochun was big enough to hold him.
Jae was shaking.
“God, what’s wrong?” Yoochun asked.
“Everything.”
“That’s a lot of things, babe.”
“Ditch with me?”
“We have a chemistry test today.”
“Fuck.”
“Does this have to do with Changmin?”
“I said ‘everything’ didn’t I?”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. We made dinner. We did homework. We went to bed.”
“So why-“
Jae buried deeper, words muffled, but Yoochun had a lot of practice deciphering Jae-buried-into-his-shoulder talk. “It’s everything, Chunnie. Everything. I just … I want to be done and in college and no stupid test and no fucking calculus, no more pressure, and no stupid, gorgeous, hot step-brother jerking off at two am while I’m walking by his room.”
Yoochun said nothing, but held him more tightly. The warning bell rang.
“Come on,” Yoochun said. He grabbed Jae’s shoulders and pushed him upright. Jae wasn’t crying, because Jae only cried when he broke apart, and this was not Jae breaking apart. “We can’t be late today.”
Jae sighed and followed Yoochun down the stairs, their hands clasped tightly together. They were almost to their classroom when they heard laughter and a mocking voice, “So, smart kid. I promise if you do my homework for me, you can suck my cock.”
Jae sighed. Kangin. Stupid bully. He and Yoochun changed directions. Around a corner, and Jaejoong stopped in his tracks. Kangin and three of his cronies had Changmin barricaded against a wall.
“Kangin!” Jae shouted.
And Kangin turned around with a grin. “Ah, the school’s hero. Protector of the weak and in-“
“That’s my step-brother.”
Kangin face fell. “Step-brother?”
“Yes. His father and my mother got married a few weeks ago.”
Jae pushed by the others and tried to ask Changmin if he was okay with his eyes. Changmin looked down.
“You’re lucky there aren’t any bruises on his face,” Yoochun said to the group.
Jae glared at Kangin. “If I see any bruises on any part of his body, I don’t even care if he smacked his shin on a table or something, I’m taking it out on you. I don’t care who did it. If I even once think he’s being bullied by anyone at this school, it’ll be your ass that gets beat up. You understand?”
“Yeah, Jae, calm down. I didn’t know he was your brother.”
“It shouldn’t have made a difference. Now get to class.”
The four of them turned around and left the hallway.
Jae turned back to Changmin. “You alright?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. And I’m serious about this, Min. Anyone hurts you, makes fun of you, or if you just don’t like them for whatever reason, just let me know.”
“Violence doesn’t solve anything,” Changmin said with a wry grin.
Jae smirked. “In high school it does. Now get to class before you miss having that overly large brain of yours shoved full of more information.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
Jae gave him a one armed squeeze and then said, “See you after school.”
He and Yoochun headed back to their class, and then right around the corner, Jae shoved Yoochun against the wall and resumed his clutching-cuddling-I need you position.
Yoochun rubbed his back. “Control, Jae, we’re not on the roof.”
“I know.”
Another deep breath. “Come on.”
Jae was sure he failed his Chemistry test.
[o]
“If you see Changmin, tell him I went home,” Jae said to Yoochun as soon as the last bell rang.
Yoochun nodded, and Jae sent him a grateful look for not prying and not asking and knowing Jae enough that Jae just needed to be alone.
He bought four packs of smokes from the closest store, and then went home and climbed up on the roof. Cigarette after cigarette was lit, sucked on, and then tossed, as Jaejoong’s brain whirled with insecurity. What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? How can I pass anything? I can’t let my father down, not like this.
He smoked an entire pack before he saw Changmin on his way down the hill to their house. It was after five. He slid into his bedroom window, locked his door and then went to his desk. The front door shut, and then all was silent. Jae stared at the computer screen, but touched nothing. What am I doing?
What felt like years later, he blinked and realized he’d done nothing. The colorful lightning bolts of his screensaver zapped across the screen.
And he was waiting. He glanced at the clock. It was six. Changmin had been home for almost an hour. Didn’t even come to check on him. Just brothers, then.
Jae sighed. That shouldn’t have bothered him.
Another hour, staring into space, listening to his iPod. And then someone knocked.
“H-hyung?”
Jae ignored him. Stupid. You wanted him to come and talk to you and now that he did, you’re ignoring him?
Another knock. “Will you at least let me know you’re alive?”
Jae got up and opened the door. Changmin was there, with a plate of food.
He immediately looked down. “Yoochun said you didn’t have lunch and you’ve been up here for hours to I figured you were hungry and I-”
“Thanks, Min.”
He tried not to smile too widely at the nickname as Jaejoong took the plate.
“Dokkbokki,” Jae said, hiding a panicked thought of just brothers behind a grin.
“Extra spicy.”
“Awesome.” Jae left the door open and went to his desk to eat.
Changmin stayed at the door, uneasy, and then said, “I-I’ll see you later, h-hyung.”
Jae turned to invite him in, but he’d already disappeared.
[o]
Two a.m. again.
Jae stared at his ceiling until he was sure he had burned the words just brothers and he’s only fourteen into the white gloss.
He sighed and sat up, put his face in his hands and tried to get a grip on everything.
It wasn’t just Changmin. It was school, and the expectations, and fuck, he wasn’t going to do well. Living up to eight sisters’ reputations, four of which had gone to Seoul University. And Yoochun, who he was sure would end up in a prestigious music program. What would he do without Yoochun? And his father, the father he had never met but whom his older sisters talked of like he had been a god. He stared up at his ceiling. Are you disappointed in me? With who I am? I am trying so hard.
He stood with an aggravated noise. I will not cry, not cry, not cry. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and headed to the bathroom.
Changmin’s door was open again, soft light of a lamp illuminating only a section of the floor. Jae stopped and stared at it. And then in the quiet, he picked up another moan.
Fuck.
His brain turned off. That’s the only explanation he had for pushing the door open.
Changmin was on his bed, longlonglonglong legs spread, hand lightly fisting his cock, and fuck, it was long and lean like the rest of him. Jae was in hard in seconds. His strokes were calm, his eyes on the screen of the laptop currently sitting on his nightstand. Jae could see a bit of the screen, but there are no sounds.
It was like he was floating when he entered the room, not quite aware that he was doing it, but definitely knowing that he shouldn’t.
“Hy-hyung!” His shout was panicked, embarrassed, and Jaejoong didn’t look at him as he walked to the side of the bed. He sat and turned the laptop to him, barely masking his surprise at the distinct lack of boobs and pussies on the two people fucking on the screen.
“Hyung!” Changmin said again.
“It’s good to see you’re using your new laptop for educational purposes.”
Suddenly, Changmin sat up, reaching around Jaejoong and hitting escape, effectively closing the scene just before it got really good. And then he was muttering something behind Jaejoong and the bed was moving. Jae twisted. Changmin had his face covered by his hands, legs crossed, cock now soft, rocking back and forth.
He was circumcised, and Jae smiled.
Taking Changmin’s wrists, Jae pulled shaking hands from his face.
“-hate me, please don’t. I don’t want you to hate, please, please.”
“Hey, wow. Wait,” Jae said with a grin. “Why would I hate you?”
Changmin shook his head. “Please don’t. Please don’t leave me.”
Really worried now, Jae hugged him, and let him shudder and cry into his shoulder and god, his skin was so soft; Jae fought not to caress his back, running fingers through his hair instead. It didn’t take long for the kid to calm down.
He went really still in Jae’s arms. Jae pushed him far enough away to wipe his cheeks with his fingers.
“Better now?”
Changmin looked away. And then his eyes went wide, like he suddenly realized he was still naked, and he tried to grab his blanket to cover up. Jae stopped him.
Their eyes met.
Changmin’s gaze was bordering on panic, but not the I’m trapped and he’s going to hurt me panic but more the good fuck, don’t let me embarrass myself panic.
“So,” Jae whispered.
Changmin’s eye went a bit wider, and then a pink tongue moistened his lips.
Jae let out a short breath. “Have you ever been kissed, Min?”
Changmin nodded once.
“By who?”
The corner of his mouth jerked. “My mom, your mom, my dad, my younger sister, my-“
“God, that is not what I meant,” Jae said, but smiling. “Have you ever been really kissed?”
“No.”
Jae looked away. not right, brothers, not right, only fourteen, not right, brothers, not right, only four-
“Please, hy-hyung. Please.”
“Why?”
“I like you.”
“As a brother, or-”
“We’re both sitting here with erections. I don’t think brothers think about each other like that.”
Jae scoffed and met his eyes again. “Who is this snarky, combative teenager, and what have you done with my mild-mannered, polite step-brother?”
“I’m scared and nervous and so fucking embarrassed, call it a defense mechanism.”
Jae grinned, and then made a sensual show of climbing on Changmin’s bed, crawling over to the still shaking boy. Changmin’s eyes went even wider as his gaze slid down Jae’s body to the tent in his sweatpants. As Jae came closer, he had to lean back on his elbows. Jae straddled Changmin’s hips, hands on either side of the younger’s shoulders.
“I like it,” Jae whispered, lips close to Changmin’s. “It suits you more than the quiet nerd act. Promise me you’ll be yourself around me.”
Another swallow, and then Changmin nodded. “But only if you kiss me.”
Part 4: Moaning into Kisses
Part 2: Trying to Hold Back
Part 1: Getting to Know You
.
Pairing: Jaejoong/Changmin, Jaejoong/Yoochun BFF-ery with benefits
Rating: eventual NC-17
Disclaimer: Mine? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Damn it.
Warnings: ... um, possible incest and a tiny bit of pedophilia if you really want to think of it that way
Summary: Senior year of high school, Jaejoong's mom gets married. But a new, quiet step-brother isn't going to distract Jaejoong from what's important. Right?
Poster credit goes to hichanchen. Thank you, darling! ♥♥♥
Changmin was awake and ready to go the next morning, and they walked to school together.
Jaejoong wanted to say something, but didn’t know what to say. He’d jerked off again after dinner. After watching Changmin’s face smile every time he praised him.
Changmin didn’t seem to know what to say either.
Jae was so confused. Last night, Changmin had smiled more and touched his arm more. Jae couldn’t tell if it was because he liked him or because they were brothers now.
“I’ll see you later,” Jae said, heading for the door to the roof.
“Jaejo-um, where are you going?”
For a moment, Jaejoong almost told him, and then shut his mouth because if he told him, he’d invite him, and the roof was JaeChun territory. No one went on the roof if there was a chance that JaeChun were up there. No one.
“Meeting Yoochun,” Jae said shortly and turned away from Changmin’s frown.
Just brothers, Jae repeated to himself.
Jae stomped up the four flights of stairs to the roof, slammed the door open, and stalked across the concrete to Yoochun who was leaning on the railing. He fisted his hands in Yoochun’s school jacket and buried his face in his neck.
Yoochun opened his mouth like he was going to make a smart comment, and then shut it. He tossed his cigarette and then held Jae tightly. They were the same height, same clothes size, same shoe size. Fuck, even their cocks were close to the same size. But at times like this, Jae felt really, really small, and only Yoochun was big enough to hold him.
Jae was shaking.
“God, what’s wrong?” Yoochun asked.
“Everything.”
“That’s a lot of things, babe.”
“Ditch with me?”
“We have a chemistry test today.”
“Fuck.”
“Does this have to do with Changmin?”
“I said ‘everything’ didn’t I?”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. We made dinner. We did homework. We went to bed.”
“So why-“
Jae buried deeper, words muffled, but Yoochun had a lot of practice deciphering Jae-buried-into-his-shoulder talk. “It’s everything, Chunnie. Everything. I just … I want to be done and in college and no stupid test and no fucking calculus, no more pressure, and no stupid, gorgeous, hot step-brother jerking off at two am while I’m walking by his room.”
Yoochun said nothing, but held him more tightly. The warning bell rang.
“Come on,” Yoochun said. He grabbed Jae’s shoulders and pushed him upright. Jae wasn’t crying, because Jae only cried when he broke apart, and this was not Jae breaking apart. “We can’t be late today.”
Jae sighed and followed Yoochun down the stairs, their hands clasped tightly together. They were almost to their classroom when they heard laughter and a mocking voice, “So, smart kid. I promise if you do my homework for me, you can suck my cock.”
Jae sighed. Kangin. Stupid bully. He and Yoochun changed directions. Around a corner, and Jaejoong stopped in his tracks. Kangin and three of his cronies had Changmin barricaded against a wall.
“Kangin!” Jae shouted.
And Kangin turned around with a grin. “Ah, the school’s hero. Protector of the weak and in-“
“That’s my step-brother.”
Kangin face fell. “Step-brother?”
“Yes. His father and my mother got married a few weeks ago.”
Jae pushed by the others and tried to ask Changmin if he was okay with his eyes. Changmin looked down.
“You’re lucky there aren’t any bruises on his face,” Yoochun said to the group.
Jae glared at Kangin. “If I see any bruises on any part of his body, I don’t even care if he smacked his shin on a table or something, I’m taking it out on you. I don’t care who did it. If I even once think he’s being bullied by anyone at this school, it’ll be your ass that gets beat up. You understand?”
“Yeah, Jae, calm down. I didn’t know he was your brother.”
“It shouldn’t have made a difference. Now get to class.”
The four of them turned around and left the hallway.
Jae turned back to Changmin. “You alright?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. And I’m serious about this, Min. Anyone hurts you, makes fun of you, or if you just don’t like them for whatever reason, just let me know.”
“Violence doesn’t solve anything,” Changmin said with a wry grin.
Jae smirked. “In high school it does. Now get to class before you miss having that overly large brain of yours shoved full of more information.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
Jae gave him a one armed squeeze and then said, “See you after school.”
He and Yoochun headed back to their class, and then right around the corner, Jae shoved Yoochun against the wall and resumed his clutching-cuddling-I need you position.
Yoochun rubbed his back. “Control, Jae, we’re not on the roof.”
“I know.”
Another deep breath. “Come on.”
Jae was sure he failed his Chemistry test.
[o]
“If you see Changmin, tell him I went home,” Jae said to Yoochun as soon as the last bell rang.
Yoochun nodded, and Jae sent him a grateful look for not prying and not asking and knowing Jae enough that Jae just needed to be alone.
He bought four packs of smokes from the closest store, and then went home and climbed up on the roof. Cigarette after cigarette was lit, sucked on, and then tossed, as Jaejoong’s brain whirled with insecurity. What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? How can I pass anything? I can’t let my father down, not like this.
He smoked an entire pack before he saw Changmin on his way down the hill to their house. It was after five. He slid into his bedroom window, locked his door and then went to his desk. The front door shut, and then all was silent. Jae stared at the computer screen, but touched nothing. What am I doing?
What felt like years later, he blinked and realized he’d done nothing. The colorful lightning bolts of his screensaver zapped across the screen.
And he was waiting. He glanced at the clock. It was six. Changmin had been home for almost an hour. Didn’t even come to check on him. Just brothers, then.
Jae sighed. That shouldn’t have bothered him.
Another hour, staring into space, listening to his iPod. And then someone knocked.
“H-hyung?”
Jae ignored him. Stupid. You wanted him to come and talk to you and now that he did, you’re ignoring him?
Another knock. “Will you at least let me know you’re alive?”
Jae got up and opened the door. Changmin was there, with a plate of food.
He immediately looked down. “Yoochun said you didn’t have lunch and you’ve been up here for hours to I figured you were hungry and I-”
“Thanks, Min.”
He tried not to smile too widely at the nickname as Jaejoong took the plate.
“Dokkbokki,” Jae said, hiding a panicked thought of just brothers behind a grin.
“Extra spicy.”
“Awesome.” Jae left the door open and went to his desk to eat.
Changmin stayed at the door, uneasy, and then said, “I-I’ll see you later, h-hyung.”
Jae turned to invite him in, but he’d already disappeared.
[o]
Two a.m. again.
Jae stared at his ceiling until he was sure he had burned the words just brothers and he’s only fourteen into the white gloss.
He sighed and sat up, put his face in his hands and tried to get a grip on everything.
It wasn’t just Changmin. It was school, and the expectations, and fuck, he wasn’t going to do well. Living up to eight sisters’ reputations, four of which had gone to Seoul University. And Yoochun, who he was sure would end up in a prestigious music program. What would he do without Yoochun? And his father, the father he had never met but whom his older sisters talked of like he had been a god. He stared up at his ceiling. Are you disappointed in me? With who I am? I am trying so hard.
He stood with an aggravated noise. I will not cry, not cry, not cry. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, and headed to the bathroom.
Changmin’s door was open again, soft light of a lamp illuminating only a section of the floor. Jae stopped and stared at it. And then in the quiet, he picked up another moan.
Fuck.
His brain turned off. That’s the only explanation he had for pushing the door open.
Changmin was on his bed, longlonglonglong legs spread, hand lightly fisting his cock, and fuck, it was long and lean like the rest of him. Jae was in hard in seconds. His strokes were calm, his eyes on the screen of the laptop currently sitting on his nightstand. Jae could see a bit of the screen, but there are no sounds.
It was like he was floating when he entered the room, not quite aware that he was doing it, but definitely knowing that he shouldn’t.
“Hy-hyung!” His shout was panicked, embarrassed, and Jaejoong didn’t look at him as he walked to the side of the bed. He sat and turned the laptop to him, barely masking his surprise at the distinct lack of boobs and pussies on the two people fucking on the screen.
“Hyung!” Changmin said again.
“It’s good to see you’re using your new laptop for educational purposes.”
Suddenly, Changmin sat up, reaching around Jaejoong and hitting escape, effectively closing the scene just before it got really good. And then he was muttering something behind Jaejoong and the bed was moving. Jae twisted. Changmin had his face covered by his hands, legs crossed, cock now soft, rocking back and forth.
He was circumcised, and Jae smiled.
Taking Changmin’s wrists, Jae pulled shaking hands from his face.
“-hate me, please don’t. I don’t want you to hate, please, please.”
“Hey, wow. Wait,” Jae said with a grin. “Why would I hate you?”
Changmin shook his head. “Please don’t. Please don’t leave me.”
Really worried now, Jae hugged him, and let him shudder and cry into his shoulder and god, his skin was so soft; Jae fought not to caress his back, running fingers through his hair instead. It didn’t take long for the kid to calm down.
He went really still in Jae’s arms. Jae pushed him far enough away to wipe his cheeks with his fingers.
“Better now?”
Changmin looked away. And then his eyes went wide, like he suddenly realized he was still naked, and he tried to grab his blanket to cover up. Jae stopped him.
Their eyes met.
Changmin’s gaze was bordering on panic, but not the I’m trapped and he’s going to hurt me panic but more the good fuck, don’t let me embarrass myself panic.
“So,” Jae whispered.
Changmin’s eye went a bit wider, and then a pink tongue moistened his lips.
Jae let out a short breath. “Have you ever been kissed, Min?”
Changmin nodded once.
“By who?”
The corner of his mouth jerked. “My mom, your mom, my dad, my younger sister, my-“
“God, that is not what I meant,” Jae said, but smiling. “Have you ever been really kissed?”
“No.”
Jae looked away. not right, brothers, not right, only fourteen, not right, brothers, not right, only four-
“Please, hy-hyung. Please.”
“Why?”
“I like you.”
“As a brother, or-”
“We’re both sitting here with erections. I don’t think brothers think about each other like that.”
Jae scoffed and met his eyes again. “Who is this snarky, combative teenager, and what have you done with my mild-mannered, polite step-brother?”
“I’m scared and nervous and so fucking embarrassed, call it a defense mechanism.”
Jae grinned, and then made a sensual show of climbing on Changmin’s bed, crawling over to the still shaking boy. Changmin’s eyes went even wider as his gaze slid down Jae’s body to the tent in his sweatpants. As Jae came closer, he had to lean back on his elbows. Jae straddled Changmin’s hips, hands on either side of the younger’s shoulders.
“I like it,” Jae whispered, lips close to Changmin’s. “It suits you more than the quiet nerd act. Promise me you’ll be yourself around me.”
Another swallow, and then Changmin nodded. “But only if you kiss me.”
Part 4: Moaning into Kisses
Part 2: Trying to Hold Back
Part 1: Getting to Know You
.