Domestic Dreams (and Disasters) 1/3
Title: Domestic Dreams (and Disasters) 1/3
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Once again, YunJae owns my soul. I belong to them more than they belong to me.
Summary: Yunho is 42 and completely unattainable. But that doesn't stop 19-year-old Jaejoong from dreaming about him. Things are complicated because Yunho has 4 kids and an evil sister (or so Yoochun claims). Jaejoong isn't sure he can handle the responsibility especially since Yunho's oldest daughter is almost as old as Jaejoong is.
A/N: This fluffy sappy YunJae fic is again inspired by this picture
I wrote this 100 word drabble about it and the idea WILL NOT leave me alone.
Yunho’s worried about his four kids meeting Jaejoong. Especially Minjae who’s almost as old as Yunho’s young lover. But they talk about clothes and makeup, and Minjae gushes about how smart, pretty, and nice Jaejoong is and why can’t she have a boyfriend like that?
And Yunho says no boyfriends until she’s thirty.
It’s surprisingly Minho who complains because Jaejoong isn’t “Mommy.” Yunho understands his youngest. It’s hard to explain why Mommy left. Yunho’s still not sure.
But curled up with Jaejoong, covered in come and recovering, Yunho knows it’s time to leave the past and look toward the future.
A/N 2: Still working on the epilogue to A Knight of Fire. I have not forgotten. I'm trying to make it so my brain will not write a sequel to that fic.
Part 1:
Jaejoong leaned on the counter, chin in his hand, elbow on the marble top. He tugged at the piercing in his lower lip and sighed. Dramatically, as his co-worker, roommate, and best friend had said in the past.
This time, Yoochun only snorted in disgust.
Jaejoong smiled and kept his eyes on the well-dressed architect until he disappeared amongst the other early morning commuters.
“He is way too old for you,” Yoochun said. “He has four kids, he has an evil younger sister, and--”
“And he’s incredibly handsome,” Jaejoong said and turned from the window where he watched Yunho every morning.
Yoochun stared at him. “He is forty-two, widowed, four kids, straight, and an evil sister.”
“Jihye-shi is not evil. She is particular.”
“Evil. And he is forty-two. And straight.”
Jaejoong huffed. “I know. Will you just let me dream, okay?”
“Not if it is going to break your heart.”
Jaejoong ignored that and went out into the lobby to clear tables and talk to his customers. He always hoped that Yunho would stay long enough to sit and enjoy his coffee, but the man had four kids and no wife and just his sister and mother for help. Jaejoong knew that his wife died, he knew that he had four kids with the woman. He also knew that Jung Yunho is straight. He knew that. But he can dream.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Saturday afternoons were busy at the cafe. This Saturday seemed worse. Jaejoong felt frazzled and out of sorts near the middle of his shift. His auburn hair was messy, bangs yanked back in a clip. There were coffee grounds and soup and condiments splattered on his apron and jeans. Someone had knocked over a canister of sugar just as he passed, the glass breaking and sugar coating his shoes. His toes were sticky.
After a young boy flung whipped cream at him, splattering it over his cheek and neck, Jaejoong begged Yoochun with his eyes to take a smoke break, two minutes in the kitchen break, anything.
Yoochun frowned at him and nodded, but his eyes went wide, looking at something over his shoulder. “Yunho-shi, hi.”
Jaejoong turned around and wished the floor would swallow him whole. Dirty, sweaty, and definitely not at his best. But even as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Jaejoong smiled and tugged at his apron.
Yunho stood behind him. He wore jeans and collared shirt. Jaejoong had never seen him out of a suit. The jeans molded to his thighs, the shirt stretched at his arms and over his chest. If it was not for the dusting of gray through his black hair hair at his temples, Jaejoong would have figured that Yunho was a college student. The wave of lust that rocked through Jaejoong made him glad he was wearing an apron.
“Hi, Jung Yunho-shi.”
Yunho smiled. “Hi. Bad day?”
Jaejoong laughed. Sort of. It came out pained. “Um, yeah. The usual?”
Yunho shook his head. “Actually, I ... I was hoping I could talk to you. About something important.”
Jaejoong swallowed, throat tight, and tried to calm the sudden pounding of his heart. “Um, yeah, I ... just ...”
“Jaejoong was just about to step outside for a cigarette, weren’t you, hyung?” Yoochun said.
Jaejoong swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, just yeah.”
“Go out back,” Yoochun said. “Take a break. I got this.” He waved at the cafe lobby.
Jaejoong turned and nodded, and gave Yoochun a combined look of gratitude and hearts as eyes because Yunho wanted to talk to him.
“Go ahead, Yunho-shi. It’s okay.”
Yunho said thank you and followed Jaejoong into the back of the cafe. Jaejoong stopped at his jacket to get his cigarettes and lighter. His hands were shaking and he almost dropped his lighter and his cigarettes. Yunho said nothing, but stayed and waited and then followed Jaejoong out to the alley in the back. He leaned against the brick wall, lit a cigarette, and kept his eyes shut through the first much-needed drag.
“Bad day?” Yunho asked again.
Jaejoong snorted. “You might say that. Practically everything that could be spilled in the cafe was spilled on me today.”
Jaejoong finally opened his eyes, when he was sure he could look at Yunho and not act like a blushing twelve year old confronted with a crush. But his heart sped up, because Yunho was looking at him. Just him. And smiling. At him. Jaejoong blushed anyway and flicked ash off the end of his cigarette. He was nineteen, not twelve. Yunho was a normal person, not a pop idol.
Jaejoong internally groaned. He was so pathetic.
“I don’t know how to say this exactly,” Yunho said and rubbed the back of his neck.
It was almost like he was nervous. Yunho, nervous?
“Well, I just ...” Yunho bit his lip and then looked at him, met Jaejoong’s eyes, and Jaejoong lost his breath at the awe and determination in his gaze.
“Well, you are amazing, Jaejoong. Just completely amazing. And I was hoping that I could ... we could--I want to know about you. All of you, and not just the Jaejoong who can make my latte perfect every time. I want to know about the musician and the artist and the student and ... well, yeah.”
“Wait, what?”
“Sorry. I mean. If you’re offended. I didn’t mean to offend you, but I like you. And my kids like you. And I just ... against Jihye’s advice, I knew I had to tell you and ... and maybe, ask you to dinner?”
Jaejoong leaned against the wall, cigarette forgotten. He stared, eyes and mouth wide.
Yunho cleared his throat and looked away, cheeks turning red.
“You think I’m amazing?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yunho smiled but did not look up. “Yes. I ... yes. You are.”
Jaejoong knocked his head against the wall. And it hurt. Not a dream. He did not trust the wall, so he pinched his arm. Yep, that hurt, too. He took a deep drag off his cigarette and shut his eyes.
“I ... I’m sorry ... but Yoochun said you weren’t seeing anyone and--”
“You asked Yoochun about me?”
“Yeah. I ... I just asked if you were seeing anyone and he said ... he said you did not have a boyfriend. So I assumed, that--”
“You asked Yoochun about me and he didn’t tell me? That little fucker!”
Yunho looked at him and smiled.
“Fucking shit for friends. What the fuck, Yoochunnie?”
Yunho stepped closer to him. “Does that mean you’ll let me take you to dinner tonight?”
Jaejoong shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “This has to be a dream.”
“If it was a dream, that would not be whipped cream on your cheek.”
Jaejoong’s eyes flew open and his hand went to his cheek. He had forgotten about the whipped cream. “Oh god,” he said, face heating in embarrassment.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have--”
“No, no, just ... I’m a mess,” Jaejoong said and waved a hand in front of himself.
“Beautiful,” Yunho said. Whispered. Gasped.
Jaejoong ducked his head and took one more drag on his cigarette before tossing it away. “I thought you were straight.”
“Bisexual.”
“But ... you ... wife and kids and ...”
Yunho stepped closer and Jaejoong looked up at him. “You are the only person that has ever made my heart beat the way Seohyun did. I have dated and I’ve ... messed around ... but ... it’s all superficial. But I want to get to know you.”
“Oh god.”
“I know I’m older than you.”
“Twenty-three years older than me!”
Yunho smiled. “I know. But ... please, just one date. I want to take you out. Please.”
Jaejoong shook his head, and then hastily stepped toward him when Yunho’s smile fell. “No, Yunho-shi, I didn’t mean. No. I meant ... dream. I can’t believe. You want to go out with me?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I ... I get off work at five.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Jaejoong felt his face break into a smile and he had a feeling that whipped cream or not, the smile would not leave his face for hours.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Jaejoong waited until Yunho was out of sight before turning around and smacking Yoochun on the shoulder. “Yoochun! I hate you you little shit!”
“Ow, what the fuck, stop! Kim Jaejoong, stop! What!”
Jaejoong kept hitting him. “Jung Yunho asked about me and you did not tell me! You little shit! You scheming piece of--”
Yoochun finally got out from behind the counter, putting it between him. “I hear about him enough already. Do you have any idea how much you would annoy me with questions if I had told you he asked about you? And besides, when he asked, he just seemed concerned not that he was interested? And if he wasn’t, and I said that, and then what, huh? I would have had to listen to you cry and I hate it when you cry!”
“Yeah, but, still.”
“Yeah, but still nothing. Go home and get ready for your date.”
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Jaejoong took a few more deep breaths and stared at himself in the mirror. Yunho had said there was no reason to dress up, casual was fine. Jaejoong had a hard time with casual though. Especially when he wanted to make an impression. And considering that Yunho had only ever seen him at work, in sweats and jeans and t-shirts and god, with whipped cream on his cheek, Jaejoong dressed up. A little.
He wore a pair of tight fitting black slacks, a soft shirt with faded grays and blues. But it was the bright blue jacket that would make him stand out. He made sure his hair was cooperating, and thank god it was, after the fiasco of his shift.
It was just as he was adding jewelry that his doorbell rang. He shut his eyes and took a very deep breath. He heard Yoochun answer the door. Heard Yunho’s deep voice and laughter. Probably something Yoochun said. About him. His best friend was going to die.
“Yo! Jaejoong-ah!”
Jaejoong winced and met his eyes in the mirror. “You got this, Kim Jaejoong. You got this. You will be amazing, and he will never want anyone else.” He turned around and went into the living room and as happened almost every day, he tripped on his own feet just around the corner and had to use the couch to keep himself from falling on his face.
Yoochun laughed, and Jaejoong’s cheeks went red.
“Are you all right?” Yunho asked.
“Yeah, just ... clumsy,” Jaejoong said pushing away from the couch. He stopped and stared.
Yunho looked amazing. Tight black jeans, button down pale green shirt, a black sport coat.
Jaejoong felt underdressed.
“You look amazing,” Yunho said.
Jaejoong flushed and looked away. “Thanks. So do you.”
“Be home by midnight, young man,” Yoochun said, shaking a finger in his face.
Jaejoong glared at him even if it made Yunho laugh. He moved to the door and pulled on his boots, trying not to think about how Yunho could not stop looking at him.
“Jaejoong,” Yoochun said when Jaejoong was about to leave.
Jae turned around and felt his cheeks go even redder. He had almost forgotten his phone. He never forgot his phone.
“Thanks,” he mumbled and took it, ignoring Yoochun’s knowing smile.
“Have fun.”
Jaejoong nodded. Not really able to actually talk. The door shut behind them with a finality that had Jaejoong’s skin pebbled and his breath short. He led the way down the stairs, out the door. And then stopped and looked at Yunho. At Yunho’s smile. At his eyes, looking at Jaejoong like nothing else in the world existed.
Jaejoong blushed and looked away. God, he was going ot have to work on that.
“I have vague plans,” Yunho said, “but I ... I wasn’t sure what you would want to do.”
“What are your vague plans?”
Yunho shrugged. “Dinner. Somewhere I can talk to you.”
“Wow. Specific.”
Yunho smiled and rocked back on his feet.
“I ... I’m not sure I could eat,” Jaejoong said, running his hands on his thighs. “Nervous.” He turned before Yunho could ask him and he said, “Let’s go this way, if you want to talk.”
Yunho fell into step beside him, and Jaejoong shoved his hands into his jacket pockets to keep himself from touching.
“So, um,” Jaejoong cleared his throat.
Yunho said, “Look. I know this is a little weird, and I know there are a lot of factors in both of our lives to make this crazy, but can this just be about tonight, just right now?”
Jaejoong looked over at him and smiled. “Okay. Just tonight.” They continued walking in silence for a little while, and then Jaejoong took a deep breath and just dived in. Yunho wanted to know the artist, so Jaejoong talked about that.
“I used to get into so much trouble for drawing on the walls,” he said, startling Yunho. “I would be really quiet for about twenty minutes, and my mom would come and look for me and find me with a pen or pencil or marker on the wall, doodling and scribbling. I loved drawing trees and mountains and lakes and rivers. I studied art even when I was only eight years old. There’s a section of the wall that my mom just said, ‘Fine, you’re going to draw on walls, draw right here.’ There are still doodles there from when I was ten years old.”
Yunho chuckled.
“My father really wanted me to go into business, get an MBA, and I tried that route, and I was so upset and depressed in high school. Finally, he said I could study art when I got into college. So I’m in a drawing class, and I’m going to study watercolors. I love art and art history, and studying the ancient Korean art. I really want to take a calligraphy class too, but I have to wait for a few semesters first.”
“Stupid question, but you want to be an artist?”
“Yeah, and I know it will be hard, but I don’t love anything else but my family. Well, I like to sing, too, and play the piano.”
“You play the piano?”
“Yeah, Chunnie, taught me. He is really good. We’ve been friends since we were nine. He’s amazing, and yeah, but we’re only friends. He likes girls more than guys anyway, and god, that was another disappointment to my father. I’m the only boy in my family, you know. I have eight older sisters, and my father thought that I’d be having the kids, but I’m not going to. He’s come to grips with it now, because I told him when I was like 13, but yeah, he was not happy for awhile.”
“I love how passionate you are about everything you do,” Yunho said. “Even in the cafe, your lattes are like art.”
“You draw, too, right?” He turned his head just a little to hide his blush.
“Yes, but I draw blueprints and construction ideas, nothing like art.”
“As soon as you put a pen to paper with the intent of drawing, it is art.”
Yunho laughed. “I guess so.”
“Did you always want to be an architect?”
Yunho shook his head. “No. My sister is a lawyer.”
“Oh god, that explains so much.”
Yunho threw his head back and laughed. “Yes, it does. Huh? Both of my parents were corporate lawyers, and I was expected to do the same thing. I did not want to. So I didn’t. I’ll admit. I was an arrogant son of a rich man, who thought that I could do whatever I wanted. Even when my father cut me off, I still refused to budge and went to school on my own. I actually studied art just to piss him off, but I wasn’t good at it. I loved straight lines and how things were built. It was always a passion, taking things apart, putting them back together, drawing diagrams of how things work. I thought about engineering, but I discovered that architecture was more along my abilities. My father did not talk to me until I introduced my family to Seohyun. She was an actress.”
“Really?”
Yunho smiled. “Yeah. She was young, gorgeous, popular and I had money. Or I let her believe I had money. I used that a lot to get women into bed with me. I was a brat. My father always told me how lucky I was that she got pregnant after we were married.”
Jaejoong covered his smile with his hand and laughed. “I cannot even believe that. I cannot imagine you as the rebel child.”
“I was. And Jihye was perfect, but of course, as soon as I calmed down, I was Daddy’s favorite again. She has never quite let me forget it.”
“But she helps you with your kids?”
“She does. She always has. You can’t judge her too harshly. She focused on her career, and neglected her husband. He left her when she found out she could not even have kids. Her life has always been a fight, so she has to be strong in order to survive.”
“I will make sure to be nice to her.”
Jaejoong turned a corner, leading the way into a almost-deserted park. They walked along the paths in silence, and Jaejoong stared up at the darkening sky.
“I have a hard time thinking into the future,” Jaejoong said. “Yoochun says it’s one of my biggest faults. I like to live in the moment, draw in the moment, become part of the moment, and I forget about things like bills and money and food and rent. I know I will finish college with an art degree, but beyond that, it’s too far in my future, it’s too much. I can’t think like that without going crazy and worrying, so I don’t.”
“I have to. I have to think of the future and the future of my children.”
Jaejoong’s brain caught up with his mouth a moment too late and he said, “Am I in that future?” After a beat, he said, “Fuck sorry. Sorry. Just tonight.”
Yunho chuckled and walked a bit closer to him, so their shoulders brushed. “I’m not sure yet. But I would not mind at all.”
Jaejoong fought the smile that blossomed on his face and lost. Daring, he hooked his hand at Yunho’s elbow and said, “Me neither.”
Yunho smiled down at him and used his other hand to grip Jaejoong’s hand at his elbow. They walked through the park and out the other side. The red neon of a ramen shop beckoned Jaejoong closer and he smiled and pulled Yunho toward it. “Come on. This is my favorite ramen place.”
It was crowded with twenty-somethings with soju and alcohol flowing freely among them. Jaejoong elbowed his way to the side of the bar and shouted at the cook for two bowls of ramen.
Changmin was very busy, but noticed him right away. His eyes widened a bit, probably when he caught sight of Yunho, but he dropped a bottle of soju in front of Jaejoong and reached for a second. “You are not of age, hyung,” he said and winked.
Jaejoong laughed and opened the bottle on the edge of the counter. “Thanks, Minnie!”
There was only one empty stool and Yunho sat on it, and Jaejoong stood close to him, between his spread knees.
“To passions?” Jaejoong said, holding up his soju.
Yunho smiled and nodded. “Passions.” They clinked their bottles together and drank. Jaejoong drank a fair amount just to calm his nerves. He did not want to get drunk. Not on the first date with the man of his dreams. Someone bumped into Jaejoong, and he yelped and fell forward, hands right against Yunho’s chest, face in his neck and he froze and Yunho chuckled and helped steady him as he pushed away, a hand at Jaejoong’s waist. It did not move once Jaejoong had gained his feet.
“Sorry,” Jaejoong muttered.
Yunho smiled and rubbed his fingers over Jaejoong’s soft T-shirt. “I do not mind at all.”
Jaejoong blushed, and thankfully, the fast service at this ramen place was the same as always and two bowls were placed in front of them.
“I like to cook, too,” Jaejoong said before blowing on the first bite and opening his mouth. He hissed at the burn and then took a drink of soju. “I had to learn to cook. We all did. My mother taught us all. We took turns cooking so she did not always have to. My jjigae is legendary.”
“I’d love to try it.”
“Maybe next weekend.”
Yunho smiled widely. “Sure.”
Jaejoong cleared his throat and covered a blush by taking another bite of the ramen.
They spent two hours at the ramen place, unaware of time passing until Changmin told them to vacate their seats for other patrons.
Jaejoong apologized and told Changmin that he would see him next week in class, and he led the way into the cool air. It was fall, temperatures dropping and Jaejoong zipped up his jacket.
“Now where to?” Jaejoong asked.
Yunho shrugged. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”
Jaejoong smiled and turned away, the giddy bubbly feeling in his chest speeding his feet past Yunho. Oh, god, he was glad it was dark to hide his blush. He had been blushing an awful lot lately.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
“I am sorry I have to end this night so soon,” Yunho said. “The last five hours have absolutely flown by.”
“Yeah. It’s been really nice.” Biting his lower lip, Jaejoong held out his hand. Yunho smiled and took it, squeezing lightly.
“I’ve had a lot of fun with you,” Yunho said. “I know I already said this, but you are amazing.”
Jaejoong smiled and ducked his head.
“And you have a gorgeous smile, but you’re always hiding it.”
Jaejoong shrugged. “It’s ... it’s embarrassing.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Jaejoong smiled all the way to his apartment building. He stopped and held onto Yunho’s hand. “Do you want to come up?”
“Yes, but I can’t.”
Jaejoong frowned.
Yunho stepped close to him and smiled. He ran a finger over Jaejoong’s lips which parted in a quiet gasp. “If I come up, I will not leave, and the babysitter needs to leave at midnight.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Sorry. I forgot.”
“It is so easy to forget everything else when I am with you.” Yunho glanced at his lips and Jaejoong fought the urge to bite them, hide them. God, he wanted a kiss.
“I am afraid to kiss you,” Yunho whispered.
“Why?”
He smiled. “I’ve dreamed of kissing you, and I always wake up just before our lips meet. And if I kiss you, I will not want to let you go. I want time to explore your mouth, hold you, taste you. Fuck. I cannot do this tonight.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Next week, remember?”
“I may not last until next week.”
“Call me?”
“I will.” Yunho brushed his fingers over Jaejoong’s cheek.
“Can I call you hyung?”
“I would love it if you called me hyung.”
“Good.”
They stared at each other awhile longer.
“And now I have to walk away,” Yunho said.
“I will see you on Monday.”
“I will call you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Jaejoong said and stepped away, but forgot how close he was to the steps and tripped and Yunho grabbed him and he grabbed Yunho and they both fell with Yunho on top of him.
Jaejoong tried to catch his breath and tried not to get an erection from Yunho hovering over him.
“C-clumsy,” Jaejoong stammered.
“Adorable.”
Jaejoong blushed, but did not duck his head. Again, it looked like Yunho might kiss him. Instead, he pushed away and stood and held out his hands and helped Jaejoong up.
“Good night,” Yunho said and squeezed his hands.
“Good night, hyung.”
They stared at one another for another moment and then Jaejoong smiled and Yunho smiled. He let go and walked away.
Jaejoong went to the building. He waited until he was up two flights of stairs before falling on his ass and squealing and screaming and flailing.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
“I was going to ask how your date was, but I heard you squealing in the hallway.”
“Fuck you, Park Yoochun!”
Part 2: Date 2 and 3 ... sort of
.
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Once again, YunJae owns my soul. I belong to them more than they belong to me.
Summary: Yunho is 42 and completely unattainable. But that doesn't stop 19-year-old Jaejoong from dreaming about him. Things are complicated because Yunho has 4 kids and an evil sister (or so Yoochun claims). Jaejoong isn't sure he can handle the responsibility especially since Yunho's oldest daughter is almost as old as Jaejoong is.
A/N: This fluffy sappy YunJae fic is again inspired by this picture
I wrote this 100 word drabble about it and the idea WILL NOT leave me alone.
Yunho’s worried about his four kids meeting Jaejoong. Especially Minjae who’s almost as old as Yunho’s young lover. But they talk about clothes and makeup, and Minjae gushes about how smart, pretty, and nice Jaejoong is and why can’t she have a boyfriend like that?
And Yunho says no boyfriends until she’s thirty.
It’s surprisingly Minho who complains because Jaejoong isn’t “Mommy.” Yunho understands his youngest. It’s hard to explain why Mommy left. Yunho’s still not sure.
But curled up with Jaejoong, covered in come and recovering, Yunho knows it’s time to leave the past and look toward the future.
A/N 2: Still working on the epilogue to A Knight of Fire. I have not forgotten. I'm trying to make it so my brain will not write a sequel to that fic.
Part 1:
Jaejoong leaned on the counter, chin in his hand, elbow on the marble top. He tugged at the piercing in his lower lip and sighed. Dramatically, as his co-worker, roommate, and best friend had said in the past.
This time, Yoochun only snorted in disgust.
Jaejoong smiled and kept his eyes on the well-dressed architect until he disappeared amongst the other early morning commuters.
“He is way too old for you,” Yoochun said. “He has four kids, he has an evil younger sister, and--”
“And he’s incredibly handsome,” Jaejoong said and turned from the window where he watched Yunho every morning.
Yoochun stared at him. “He is forty-two, widowed, four kids, straight, and an evil sister.”
“Jihye-shi is not evil. She is particular.”
“Evil. And he is forty-two. And straight.”
Jaejoong huffed. “I know. Will you just let me dream, okay?”
“Not if it is going to break your heart.”
Jaejoong ignored that and went out into the lobby to clear tables and talk to his customers. He always hoped that Yunho would stay long enough to sit and enjoy his coffee, but the man had four kids and no wife and just his sister and mother for help. Jaejoong knew that his wife died, he knew that he had four kids with the woman. He also knew that Jung Yunho is straight. He knew that. But he can dream.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Saturday afternoons were busy at the cafe. This Saturday seemed worse. Jaejoong felt frazzled and out of sorts near the middle of his shift. His auburn hair was messy, bangs yanked back in a clip. There were coffee grounds and soup and condiments splattered on his apron and jeans. Someone had knocked over a canister of sugar just as he passed, the glass breaking and sugar coating his shoes. His toes were sticky.
After a young boy flung whipped cream at him, splattering it over his cheek and neck, Jaejoong begged Yoochun with his eyes to take a smoke break, two minutes in the kitchen break, anything.
Yoochun frowned at him and nodded, but his eyes went wide, looking at something over his shoulder. “Yunho-shi, hi.”
Jaejoong turned around and wished the floor would swallow him whole. Dirty, sweaty, and definitely not at his best. But even as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Jaejoong smiled and tugged at his apron.
Yunho stood behind him. He wore jeans and collared shirt. Jaejoong had never seen him out of a suit. The jeans molded to his thighs, the shirt stretched at his arms and over his chest. If it was not for the dusting of gray through his black hair hair at his temples, Jaejoong would have figured that Yunho was a college student. The wave of lust that rocked through Jaejoong made him glad he was wearing an apron.
“Hi, Jung Yunho-shi.”
Yunho smiled. “Hi. Bad day?”
Jaejoong laughed. Sort of. It came out pained. “Um, yeah. The usual?”
Yunho shook his head. “Actually, I ... I was hoping I could talk to you. About something important.”
Jaejoong swallowed, throat tight, and tried to calm the sudden pounding of his heart. “Um, yeah, I ... just ...”
“Jaejoong was just about to step outside for a cigarette, weren’t you, hyung?” Yoochun said.
Jaejoong swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, just yeah.”
“Go out back,” Yoochun said. “Take a break. I got this.” He waved at the cafe lobby.
Jaejoong turned and nodded, and gave Yoochun a combined look of gratitude and hearts as eyes because Yunho wanted to talk to him.
“Go ahead, Yunho-shi. It’s okay.”
Yunho said thank you and followed Jaejoong into the back of the cafe. Jaejoong stopped at his jacket to get his cigarettes and lighter. His hands were shaking and he almost dropped his lighter and his cigarettes. Yunho said nothing, but stayed and waited and then followed Jaejoong out to the alley in the back. He leaned against the brick wall, lit a cigarette, and kept his eyes shut through the first much-needed drag.
“Bad day?” Yunho asked again.
Jaejoong snorted. “You might say that. Practically everything that could be spilled in the cafe was spilled on me today.”
Jaejoong finally opened his eyes, when he was sure he could look at Yunho and not act like a blushing twelve year old confronted with a crush. But his heart sped up, because Yunho was looking at him. Just him. And smiling. At him. Jaejoong blushed anyway and flicked ash off the end of his cigarette. He was nineteen, not twelve. Yunho was a normal person, not a pop idol.
Jaejoong internally groaned. He was so pathetic.
“I don’t know how to say this exactly,” Yunho said and rubbed the back of his neck.
It was almost like he was nervous. Yunho, nervous?
“Well, I just ...” Yunho bit his lip and then looked at him, met Jaejoong’s eyes, and Jaejoong lost his breath at the awe and determination in his gaze.
“Well, you are amazing, Jaejoong. Just completely amazing. And I was hoping that I could ... we could--I want to know about you. All of you, and not just the Jaejoong who can make my latte perfect every time. I want to know about the musician and the artist and the student and ... well, yeah.”
“Wait, what?”
“Sorry. I mean. If you’re offended. I didn’t mean to offend you, but I like you. And my kids like you. And I just ... against Jihye’s advice, I knew I had to tell you and ... and maybe, ask you to dinner?”
Jaejoong leaned against the wall, cigarette forgotten. He stared, eyes and mouth wide.
Yunho cleared his throat and looked away, cheeks turning red.
“You think I’m amazing?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yunho smiled but did not look up. “Yes. I ... yes. You are.”
Jaejoong knocked his head against the wall. And it hurt. Not a dream. He did not trust the wall, so he pinched his arm. Yep, that hurt, too. He took a deep drag off his cigarette and shut his eyes.
“I ... I’m sorry ... but Yoochun said you weren’t seeing anyone and--”
“You asked Yoochun about me?”
“Yeah. I ... I just asked if you were seeing anyone and he said ... he said you did not have a boyfriend. So I assumed, that--”
“You asked Yoochun about me and he didn’t tell me? That little fucker!”
Yunho looked at him and smiled.
“Fucking shit for friends. What the fuck, Yoochunnie?”
Yunho stepped closer to him. “Does that mean you’ll let me take you to dinner tonight?”
Jaejoong shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “This has to be a dream.”
“If it was a dream, that would not be whipped cream on your cheek.”
Jaejoong’s eyes flew open and his hand went to his cheek. He had forgotten about the whipped cream. “Oh god,” he said, face heating in embarrassment.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have--”
“No, no, just ... I’m a mess,” Jaejoong said and waved a hand in front of himself.
“Beautiful,” Yunho said. Whispered. Gasped.
Jaejoong ducked his head and took one more drag on his cigarette before tossing it away. “I thought you were straight.”
“Bisexual.”
“But ... you ... wife and kids and ...”
Yunho stepped closer and Jaejoong looked up at him. “You are the only person that has ever made my heart beat the way Seohyun did. I have dated and I’ve ... messed around ... but ... it’s all superficial. But I want to get to know you.”
“Oh god.”
“I know I’m older than you.”
“Twenty-three years older than me!”
Yunho smiled. “I know. But ... please, just one date. I want to take you out. Please.”
Jaejoong shook his head, and then hastily stepped toward him when Yunho’s smile fell. “No, Yunho-shi, I didn’t mean. No. I meant ... dream. I can’t believe. You want to go out with me?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I ... I get off work at five.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Jaejoong felt his face break into a smile and he had a feeling that whipped cream or not, the smile would not leave his face for hours.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Jaejoong waited until Yunho was out of sight before turning around and smacking Yoochun on the shoulder. “Yoochun! I hate you you little shit!”
“Ow, what the fuck, stop! Kim Jaejoong, stop! What!”
Jaejoong kept hitting him. “Jung Yunho asked about me and you did not tell me! You little shit! You scheming piece of--”
Yoochun finally got out from behind the counter, putting it between him. “I hear about him enough already. Do you have any idea how much you would annoy me with questions if I had told you he asked about you? And besides, when he asked, he just seemed concerned not that he was interested? And if he wasn’t, and I said that, and then what, huh? I would have had to listen to you cry and I hate it when you cry!”
“Yeah, but, still.”
“Yeah, but still nothing. Go home and get ready for your date.”
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
Jaejoong took a few more deep breaths and stared at himself in the mirror. Yunho had said there was no reason to dress up, casual was fine. Jaejoong had a hard time with casual though. Especially when he wanted to make an impression. And considering that Yunho had only ever seen him at work, in sweats and jeans and t-shirts and god, with whipped cream on his cheek, Jaejoong dressed up. A little.
He wore a pair of tight fitting black slacks, a soft shirt with faded grays and blues. But it was the bright blue jacket that would make him stand out. He made sure his hair was cooperating, and thank god it was, after the fiasco of his shift.
It was just as he was adding jewelry that his doorbell rang. He shut his eyes and took a very deep breath. He heard Yoochun answer the door. Heard Yunho’s deep voice and laughter. Probably something Yoochun said. About him. His best friend was going to die.
“Yo! Jaejoong-ah!”
Jaejoong winced and met his eyes in the mirror. “You got this, Kim Jaejoong. You got this. You will be amazing, and he will never want anyone else.” He turned around and went into the living room and as happened almost every day, he tripped on his own feet just around the corner and had to use the couch to keep himself from falling on his face.
Yoochun laughed, and Jaejoong’s cheeks went red.
“Are you all right?” Yunho asked.
“Yeah, just ... clumsy,” Jaejoong said pushing away from the couch. He stopped and stared.
Yunho looked amazing. Tight black jeans, button down pale green shirt, a black sport coat.
Jaejoong felt underdressed.
“You look amazing,” Yunho said.
Jaejoong flushed and looked away. “Thanks. So do you.”
“Be home by midnight, young man,” Yoochun said, shaking a finger in his face.
Jaejoong glared at him even if it made Yunho laugh. He moved to the door and pulled on his boots, trying not to think about how Yunho could not stop looking at him.
“Jaejoong,” Yoochun said when Jaejoong was about to leave.
Jae turned around and felt his cheeks go even redder. He had almost forgotten his phone. He never forgot his phone.
“Thanks,” he mumbled and took it, ignoring Yoochun’s knowing smile.
“Have fun.”
Jaejoong nodded. Not really able to actually talk. The door shut behind them with a finality that had Jaejoong’s skin pebbled and his breath short. He led the way down the stairs, out the door. And then stopped and looked at Yunho. At Yunho’s smile. At his eyes, looking at Jaejoong like nothing else in the world existed.
Jaejoong blushed and looked away. God, he was going ot have to work on that.
“I have vague plans,” Yunho said, “but I ... I wasn’t sure what you would want to do.”
“What are your vague plans?”
Yunho shrugged. “Dinner. Somewhere I can talk to you.”
“Wow. Specific.”
Yunho smiled and rocked back on his feet.
“I ... I’m not sure I could eat,” Jaejoong said, running his hands on his thighs. “Nervous.” He turned before Yunho could ask him and he said, “Let’s go this way, if you want to talk.”
Yunho fell into step beside him, and Jaejoong shoved his hands into his jacket pockets to keep himself from touching.
“So, um,” Jaejoong cleared his throat.
Yunho said, “Look. I know this is a little weird, and I know there are a lot of factors in both of our lives to make this crazy, but can this just be about tonight, just right now?”
Jaejoong looked over at him and smiled. “Okay. Just tonight.” They continued walking in silence for a little while, and then Jaejoong took a deep breath and just dived in. Yunho wanted to know the artist, so Jaejoong talked about that.
“I used to get into so much trouble for drawing on the walls,” he said, startling Yunho. “I would be really quiet for about twenty minutes, and my mom would come and look for me and find me with a pen or pencil or marker on the wall, doodling and scribbling. I loved drawing trees and mountains and lakes and rivers. I studied art even when I was only eight years old. There’s a section of the wall that my mom just said, ‘Fine, you’re going to draw on walls, draw right here.’ There are still doodles there from when I was ten years old.”
Yunho chuckled.
“My father really wanted me to go into business, get an MBA, and I tried that route, and I was so upset and depressed in high school. Finally, he said I could study art when I got into college. So I’m in a drawing class, and I’m going to study watercolors. I love art and art history, and studying the ancient Korean art. I really want to take a calligraphy class too, but I have to wait for a few semesters first.”
“Stupid question, but you want to be an artist?”
“Yeah, and I know it will be hard, but I don’t love anything else but my family. Well, I like to sing, too, and play the piano.”
“You play the piano?”
“Yeah, Chunnie, taught me. He is really good. We’ve been friends since we were nine. He’s amazing, and yeah, but we’re only friends. He likes girls more than guys anyway, and god, that was another disappointment to my father. I’m the only boy in my family, you know. I have eight older sisters, and my father thought that I’d be having the kids, but I’m not going to. He’s come to grips with it now, because I told him when I was like 13, but yeah, he was not happy for awhile.”
“I love how passionate you are about everything you do,” Yunho said. “Even in the cafe, your lattes are like art.”
“You draw, too, right?” He turned his head just a little to hide his blush.
“Yes, but I draw blueprints and construction ideas, nothing like art.”
“As soon as you put a pen to paper with the intent of drawing, it is art.”
Yunho laughed. “I guess so.”
“Did you always want to be an architect?”
Yunho shook his head. “No. My sister is a lawyer.”
“Oh god, that explains so much.”
Yunho threw his head back and laughed. “Yes, it does. Huh? Both of my parents were corporate lawyers, and I was expected to do the same thing. I did not want to. So I didn’t. I’ll admit. I was an arrogant son of a rich man, who thought that I could do whatever I wanted. Even when my father cut me off, I still refused to budge and went to school on my own. I actually studied art just to piss him off, but I wasn’t good at it. I loved straight lines and how things were built. It was always a passion, taking things apart, putting them back together, drawing diagrams of how things work. I thought about engineering, but I discovered that architecture was more along my abilities. My father did not talk to me until I introduced my family to Seohyun. She was an actress.”
“Really?”
Yunho smiled. “Yeah. She was young, gorgeous, popular and I had money. Or I let her believe I had money. I used that a lot to get women into bed with me. I was a brat. My father always told me how lucky I was that she got pregnant after we were married.”
Jaejoong covered his smile with his hand and laughed. “I cannot even believe that. I cannot imagine you as the rebel child.”
“I was. And Jihye was perfect, but of course, as soon as I calmed down, I was Daddy’s favorite again. She has never quite let me forget it.”
“But she helps you with your kids?”
“She does. She always has. You can’t judge her too harshly. She focused on her career, and neglected her husband. He left her when she found out she could not even have kids. Her life has always been a fight, so she has to be strong in order to survive.”
“I will make sure to be nice to her.”
Jaejoong turned a corner, leading the way into a almost-deserted park. They walked along the paths in silence, and Jaejoong stared up at the darkening sky.
“I have a hard time thinking into the future,” Jaejoong said. “Yoochun says it’s one of my biggest faults. I like to live in the moment, draw in the moment, become part of the moment, and I forget about things like bills and money and food and rent. I know I will finish college with an art degree, but beyond that, it’s too far in my future, it’s too much. I can’t think like that without going crazy and worrying, so I don’t.”
“I have to. I have to think of the future and the future of my children.”
Jaejoong’s brain caught up with his mouth a moment too late and he said, “Am I in that future?” After a beat, he said, “Fuck sorry. Sorry. Just tonight.”
Yunho chuckled and walked a bit closer to him, so their shoulders brushed. “I’m not sure yet. But I would not mind at all.”
Jaejoong fought the smile that blossomed on his face and lost. Daring, he hooked his hand at Yunho’s elbow and said, “Me neither.”
Yunho smiled down at him and used his other hand to grip Jaejoong’s hand at his elbow. They walked through the park and out the other side. The red neon of a ramen shop beckoned Jaejoong closer and he smiled and pulled Yunho toward it. “Come on. This is my favorite ramen place.”
It was crowded with twenty-somethings with soju and alcohol flowing freely among them. Jaejoong elbowed his way to the side of the bar and shouted at the cook for two bowls of ramen.
Changmin was very busy, but noticed him right away. His eyes widened a bit, probably when he caught sight of Yunho, but he dropped a bottle of soju in front of Jaejoong and reached for a second. “You are not of age, hyung,” he said and winked.
Jaejoong laughed and opened the bottle on the edge of the counter. “Thanks, Minnie!”
There was only one empty stool and Yunho sat on it, and Jaejoong stood close to him, between his spread knees.
“To passions?” Jaejoong said, holding up his soju.
Yunho smiled and nodded. “Passions.” They clinked their bottles together and drank. Jaejoong drank a fair amount just to calm his nerves. He did not want to get drunk. Not on the first date with the man of his dreams. Someone bumped into Jaejoong, and he yelped and fell forward, hands right against Yunho’s chest, face in his neck and he froze and Yunho chuckled and helped steady him as he pushed away, a hand at Jaejoong’s waist. It did not move once Jaejoong had gained his feet.
“Sorry,” Jaejoong muttered.
Yunho smiled and rubbed his fingers over Jaejoong’s soft T-shirt. “I do not mind at all.”
Jaejoong blushed, and thankfully, the fast service at this ramen place was the same as always and two bowls were placed in front of them.
“I like to cook, too,” Jaejoong said before blowing on the first bite and opening his mouth. He hissed at the burn and then took a drink of soju. “I had to learn to cook. We all did. My mother taught us all. We took turns cooking so she did not always have to. My jjigae is legendary.”
“I’d love to try it.”
“Maybe next weekend.”
Yunho smiled widely. “Sure.”
Jaejoong cleared his throat and covered a blush by taking another bite of the ramen.
They spent two hours at the ramen place, unaware of time passing until Changmin told them to vacate their seats for other patrons.
Jaejoong apologized and told Changmin that he would see him next week in class, and he led the way into the cool air. It was fall, temperatures dropping and Jaejoong zipped up his jacket.
“Now where to?” Jaejoong asked.
Yunho shrugged. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”
Jaejoong smiled and turned away, the giddy bubbly feeling in his chest speeding his feet past Yunho. Oh, god, he was glad it was dark to hide his blush. He had been blushing an awful lot lately.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
“I am sorry I have to end this night so soon,” Yunho said. “The last five hours have absolutely flown by.”
“Yeah. It’s been really nice.” Biting his lower lip, Jaejoong held out his hand. Yunho smiled and took it, squeezing lightly.
“I’ve had a lot of fun with you,” Yunho said. “I know I already said this, but you are amazing.”
Jaejoong smiled and ducked his head.
“And you have a gorgeous smile, but you’re always hiding it.”
Jaejoong shrugged. “It’s ... it’s embarrassing.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Jaejoong smiled all the way to his apartment building. He stopped and held onto Yunho’s hand. “Do you want to come up?”
“Yes, but I can’t.”
Jaejoong frowned.
Yunho stepped close to him and smiled. He ran a finger over Jaejoong’s lips which parted in a quiet gasp. “If I come up, I will not leave, and the babysitter needs to leave at midnight.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Sorry. I forgot.”
“It is so easy to forget everything else when I am with you.” Yunho glanced at his lips and Jaejoong fought the urge to bite them, hide them. God, he wanted a kiss.
“I am afraid to kiss you,” Yunho whispered.
“Why?”
He smiled. “I’ve dreamed of kissing you, and I always wake up just before our lips meet. And if I kiss you, I will not want to let you go. I want time to explore your mouth, hold you, taste you. Fuck. I cannot do this tonight.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Next week, remember?”
“I may not last until next week.”
“Call me?”
“I will.” Yunho brushed his fingers over Jaejoong’s cheek.
“Can I call you hyung?”
“I would love it if you called me hyung.”
“Good.”
They stared at each other awhile longer.
“And now I have to walk away,” Yunho said.
“I will see you on Monday.”
“I will call you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Jaejoong said and stepped away, but forgot how close he was to the steps and tripped and Yunho grabbed him and he grabbed Yunho and they both fell with Yunho on top of him.
Jaejoong tried to catch his breath and tried not to get an erection from Yunho hovering over him.
“C-clumsy,” Jaejoong stammered.
“Adorable.”
Jaejoong blushed, but did not duck his head. Again, it looked like Yunho might kiss him. Instead, he pushed away and stood and held out his hands and helped Jaejoong up.
“Good night,” Yunho said and squeezed his hands.
“Good night, hyung.”
They stared at one another for another moment and then Jaejoong smiled and Yunho smiled. He let go and walked away.
Jaejoong went to the building. He waited until he was up two flights of stairs before falling on his ass and squealing and screaming and flailing.
--윤재--윤재--윤재--
“I was going to ask how your date was, but I heard you squealing in the hallway.”
“Fuck you, Park Yoochun!”
Part 2: Date 2 and 3 ... sort of
.