Surfing for Answers, Part 1
Title: Surfing for Answers, Part 1
Pairing: Changmin/Yoochun, Jaejoong/Yoochun!BFFery, Yunho/Changmin, Changmin/Junsu!BFFery, Yoochun/Sooyoung (het), Jaejoong/Minzy (het)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me with the same percentage of certainty that merpeople exist.
Summary: Changmin is floundering with nothing to keep him above water. Yoochun is running with nothing to show him where he belongs. Both are drowning under deep expectations.
A/N: I've been wanting to write a surfer!Min and a merman!Yoochun fic for a long time, so I combined them. This fic did not end up the way I expected it. I doubt it will be what you expect either. This is not your typical fantastical merman/human story.
Mermen: Jaejoong and Yoochun
Humans: Changmin, Junsu and Yunho
Warning: SOME ANGST, long one shot
Changmin’s favorite time to surf was early morning and late evening. Usually the crowds of tourists didn’t invade the beach until the sun was up. Only the locals braved the waves when there was barely enough light to see the rocks.
Changmin paddled out through the lapping surf. The edge of the waves curled in front of him. He heard a shout behind him and looked, seeing his friend Junsu with his own board. Junsu waved and ran into the water.
Changmin smirked and paddled faster. Early morning competition. Well, Junsu wasn’t competition. Changmin was a much better surfer than he was. The tide was low, but the ocean wasn’t choppy enough for Changmin to worry about the rocks hiding under the surf off to his left. He eyed the curl of surf in front of him, moving with it, board rising above it and dropping on the other side. He let one more wave by him and then turned his board for the next one.
He heard Junsu shout something, but then the wave formed and lifted him and he waited, timing it and put his hands on his board and stood up. His feet planted, knees bent and arms out. Balancing for the first twist, he dropped the nose of his board into wave, pressed his feet back, turned, leaning and rode the wave until it died near the shore.
Junsu cheered and Changmin lifted an arm in victory but knocked himself off balance and he fell into the water. He surfaced soon enough to see Junsu make it half down a wave before bailing and being swallowed by the curve of foam.
Changmin laughed and climbed back on his board. He paddled out to Junsu just in time to see Junsu haul himself up on his board.
“Fail, as always,” Changmin said.
Junsu spit ocean water at him.
Changmin laughed. They paddled a bit farther out until they were riding the small waves. Changmin sat up, straddling his board, staring off into the ocean. The sun sparkled on the Eastern rim of the horizon.
“Water is pretty flat this morning,” Junsu said after a few minutes.
Not far away, a tail fin lifted from the water, throwing sparkles of droplets through the sky.
“Wow, that was a neat fin,” Junsu said. “Do you know what kind of fish that was?”
Changmin shook his head. “I’m a surfer, not a fisherman.”
Junsu laughed. “And you’re not a student either. Are you going to school today?”
Changmin shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not. I’ve missed so much, what’s the point?”
“You’re smart, dongsaeng. You should be studying.”
“You’re not smart, hyung. You should be studying harder.”
Junsu shouted at the insult and chopped his arm in the water, spraying Changmin. When Changmin cleared his eyes, Junsu was paddling out to the waves.
He really should have gone to school. But it depended on the waves.
Changmin paddled quickly to catch up to him. Junsu was turning when Changmin hit the same wave. He cursed and tried to turn enough to catch it and instead was tossed into the ocean when he stood up on his board. The wave flipped his board and slammed him into the sandy bottom. The water churned around him, and he opened his eyes and then squeezed them shut when he got nothing but sand in his eyes. Hands curled on his arm and hauled him up to the surface. He spluttered and wiped his eyes. He opened his eyes to thank Junsu for helping him up and froze. Junsu was at least twenty feet away, straddling his board, laughing at him.
Changmin spun around, but it was still just the two of them in the ocean while the sun rose.
He had definitely felt a hand on his arm.
His board bumped against him and he jumped, spinning again. But there was nothing. Just his board and the lightly lapping water.
“Min, come on, the waves are kickin’ up!”
Changmin turned to Junsu who was paddling out again. He jumped on his board and paddled out to meet him.
“You okay?”
Changmin opened his mouth and then shut it and nodded. “Fine.”
The white water was higher on each wave, curling faster after the wakes. Changmin grinned. His morning just got better.
Junsu cried out in jubilation as his board turned. He jumped to his feet and Changmin watched him until the next wave came. There was nothing better than the rush of riding a wave to the bottom. By the time the waves were high enough to tempt the tourists and others into the water, Changmin had forgotten about the feel of hands on his arm and back.
--
Across the bay, indigo eyes watched the two friends play around and surf. Yoochun had been watching Changmin for months, and knew he was a good swimmer. There’d been no reason to help him earlier, except that Yoochun had gotten too close and just couldn’t help himself. He twisted his light indigo tail and ended up pressed against the rock. Surf broke on the other side, spraying him with water. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the wet rock. His thick black hair flowed around his shoulders.
“You are insane!” Jaejoong shouted as soon as he surfaced next to Yoochun. “Completely insane.”
Yoochun smiled at his best friend, but did not reply. Getting that close to the coast when it was supposedly empty was crazy in itself. To go when there were actually people in the water was unheard of.
Yoochun caught one more glimpse of the tall surfer and then sank under the water. He shut his eyes and spun slowly and sat on the sandy bottom. His hair floated around him, blocking some of the sun filtering through the water.
“You are crazy,” Jaejoong said again, settling beside him.
Yoochun nodded. “I-I touched him.”
“You what?!?” Jaejoong screeched.
Yoochun smiled and tilted his head back. “I touched him. His arm. His ... god, he is so strong.”
“You are insane! What if he had seen you?”
Yoochun did not answer.
“Chunnie, you cannot. You cannot let him see you.”
“I know, okay. I know.” Yoochun pushed up from the sand and swam away from the coast.
Jaejoong followed him silently.
It was a stupid crush, he knew that. Having a crush on a human was more common than the leaders of their Clan wanted to admit. Even Jaejoong had spent a few hours a day for more than three months pinning after a human that liked to jog along the beach. The human never went in the water though.
It almost seemed like destiny that Yoochun’s human crush liked to swim almost as much as Yoochun did.
They swam down, following the ocean floor, cutting under and through the reef along the Korean coast. The sand dropped off and Yoochun pointed his body down, arms at his side. His tail waved back and forth quickly. He ignored a few salutations from others in his clan and headed straight to his home, through the kelp fronds blocking his room from the rest of the world. He wanted to be alone, but Jaejoong knew better than to leave him alone.
“You can not,” Jaejoong whispered.
“Shut up. Do not talk about it,” Yoochun snapped.
Jaejoong pouted and fell to a kelp-covered rock. He crossed his arms and pouted. “You will get in so much trouble.”
“Especially if you keep talking about it where other people can hear you!”
“Sorry,” Jaejoong said, his pout more pronounced.
Yoochun sighed and sank down next to him. Their arms wound around each other, and Jaejoong ran his deep turquoise tail up Yoochun’s, drawing a shiver from him.
“And you will get in trouble if you keep doing that to me,” Yoochun whispered.
“We are friends. It doesn’t mean the same. And you will be with Sooyoung soon.”
Yoochun frowned at the reminder. “You are just determined to get me in trouble today,” Yoochun muttered.
“At least with the human--”
“Be quiet,” Yoochun hissed.
Jaejoong huffed. “I do not want you to get in trouble.”
Yoochun turned his head and met Jaejoong’s eyes. Green eyes that matched his tail, surrounded by the fall of darker hair than Yoochun’s.
Everything about Jaejoong’s features screamed Clan Warrior. He had broad shoulders, strong sculpted muscles, and a small waist that flowed seamlessly into his long tail.
But Yoochun was a disappointment. He wasn’t necessarily weak and he did have nice square shoulders, but he did not build muscles like Jaejoong. His chest was smaller, his stomach toned instead of cobbled. And his tail was almost the color of most females. It was just on this edge of blue, but in certain light it looked purple and with his slimmer arms and slimmer waist, he’d been confused with a mermaid more than once.
Maybe that was why Jaejoong was attracted to him. And why he was attracted to Jaejoong. Next to Sooyoung’s tail, Yoochun’s did look blue. But laying here, next to Jaejoong, his tail was purple.
Yoochun hated it.
Jaejoong tightened his hold on Yoochun’s body and pulled Yoochun close enough to tuck his head under his chin. They were out of sight from Yoochun’s window, and they’d see the water churning from someone coming up through the home, but the thought of being discovered in such a position had Yoochun’s heart racing and water streaming rapidly through his gills.
Jaejoong was the Clan Leader’s only son. He had duties to fulfill.
And Yoochun was betrothed to his sister. And they were just friends.
Yoochun wondered if he could swim away. If he did, would Jaejoong go with him? He would not ask.
---
Sometimes Changmin liked to paddle out almost too far on his board, lay back and float his way to shore. It wasn’t entirely safe since his board and his legs would look pretty tasty to a shark, but there hadn’t been a shark sighting on this beach for at least three years.
It was early evening. The sun was sinking on the other side of the sky. Changmin watched the brightest stars pop out in the growing darkness.
He needed to get back to shore. Skipping school wasn’t the same as skipping work. He had to earn enough money to feed his mom and sister. His mom’s paycheck went to pay for his sister’s school fees.
He was a lost cause. He told his mom to stop paying his school fees. Junsu said his desk was given to a new student. And his sister got a brand new uniform. One where the skirt actually zipped and she didn’t have to hide the fact that it was too small with one of his larger white shirts.
Changmin had liked school. He had liked to learn and read. But then their father left. And their mother was never home. And too busy or too tired to talk to about the things he was learning. It lost its appeal.
And then he had to get a job. Working a few hours at a ramen shop five nights a week didn’t earn too much, but it was the least he could do.
School didn’t seem that important when his mother was starving so she could feed her two children.
Changmin suddenly realized how dark it was. He cursed and moved to flip over on his board at the same moment that a small swell picked him up and dropped him down. He lost his grip on his board and fell into the water. Sputtering, he shot to the surface and cursed even more when he saw his board floating away from him. He forgot to hook the leash to his foot.
He turned to the shore. He could easily swim back, but he wasn’t leaving his board. It was the most expensive thing he owned and it took him over a year to save up the money for it.
Before he could take the first stroke toward the board, he realized that it was moving toward him. That made no sense. The tide was ebbing, pulling everything out from the shore. It was why he managed to get so far away just floating.
He blinked in the dark and shook his head. But the board was still moving straight to him. A few feet away he saw fingers curled on the rail. His mouth dropped open and he barely had a moment to register that when his board bumped him in the chest. He gripped onto it, arm flung over the deck.
Hands. Those were definitely hands that moved to the nose, steadying the board, and Changmin used the extra help and climbed on. When he was secure, the hands disappeared.
Changmin didn’t think he could be more surprised, and then a head popped up from the water, and he stared and stared and stared, mouth still open. It was too hard to see in the dark, and Changmin couldn’t tell if it was a guy or a girl. Long hair flowed on the top of water like seaweed. Blue eyes shimmered in the dark. Lips were sucked into his mouth, and Changmin knew that whoever this was was worried.
Changmin swallowed. “T-th-thanks.”
The head ducked under the water.
“W-wait,” Changmin almost shouted.
And it returned. A hand lifted and moved hair from milky skin. A strong jawline, square shoulders.
Definitely male.
Changmin swallowed again. “Do ... d-do need a ride back to shore?”
A shy smile curved the man’s mouth and he shook his head. He suddenly turned to the right, hearing something Changmin didn’t. He bit his lower lip, looked at Changmin, and then bolted away faster than Changmin thought anyone could swim. He was about to call out for him, and then the man’s body curled up, arching over the water, and pierced it in a clean dive, down below a swell and swallowed by the ocean, a tail fin slapping in the water last.
Changmin almost fell off his board again.
He sat there, decided that he had fallen asleep on his board and dreamed the whole thing and began the long swim back to shore.
Changmin had heard the tales of sailors saved by mermaids.
But he had never, ever believed them. Fuck, he still wasn’t sure he believed it. When he finally dragged himself and his board up on the sand, he was almost convinced that he’d imagined it. He turned around, stared at the dark ocean sparkling with moonlight. Something moved near the rocky outcrop. A shadow. It could have been a seal. It could have been anything.
Changmin didn’t know, but he lifted his arm and waved anyway, before turning around and practically sprinting for home. He was going to be very late for work.
---
Yoochun sequestered himself in their garden. He barricaded himself in the anemone grotto and refused to come out of the farthest corner.
He was in so much trouble. So much trouble.
When even his younger brother couldn’t get him to explain himself, they sent for Jaejoong. It’d been weeks since Yoochun had last seen his best friend. Jaejoong was training with the Clan leaders. There had been a shark too close to their village, and it was up to the men to either chase it off, or kill it.
It was Jaejoong’s very first shark hunt.
Yoochun had not been deemed strong enough to go.
Yoochun felt the water around him churn and recognized Jaejoong’s presence, just before he whispered, “Chunnie-ah?”
Yoochun bit his lip and turned his head, eyes so full of guilt and hope and love.
Jaejoong immediately dropped to the rock floor beside him. “Oh, Chunnie, what did you do?”
Yoochun had no idea if anyone was outside the grotto listening, so he did nothing more than accept Jaejoong’s hug and a soft touch of his hand down his arm.
“Everyone is worried about you,” Jaejoong asked. “Is this about the hunt?”
An out. Yoochun looked up, grateful for the opportunity. It meant that someone was indeed listening outside of the grotto, because Jaejoong knew that Yoochun hadn’t cared that much about not being able to go. At least he didn’t anymore. Jaejoong knew that this was about something else.
Yoochun nodded. “It’s just not fair. I’m strong and quick.”
“I know. Maybe next year.”
It was the same thing his very disappointed father had said when the Clan Leader had left after bearing the shaming news.
Yoochun sighed. “Are you busy? Can we go for a swim?”
“Maybe during the next tide.”
Yoochun tilted his head up and smiled. “Okay.”
Their lips were so close, their bodies brushing against each other. Yoochun hoped that had they been alone, Jaejoong would have kissed him. There had been many opportunities in the past for them to kiss, but Jaejoong had never done so.
Maybe Yoochun only thought Jaejoong was attracted to him. Maybe this was the way all best friends felt about each other. He had no idea.
Jaejoong’s presence did not get his body thrumming the way the human surfer’s did though. And they hadn’t even been that close.
“Come on,” Jaejoong said after another strong hug. “Your mother is very worried about you.”
Two tides later, the two of them swam out into the basin. It wasn’t the safest place because of shark and squid attacks as well as possible human boats above, but it was easy for them to talk and know if someone was coming.
There was a rock, jutting from the bottom. Yoochun went there, flung a few lobsters off the rock and sat right on the tip. Jaejoong floated next to him. He was wearing his brand new spear, strapped across his back in an intricately designed holster of kelp and bone. A belt was secured around his waist that held two stone daggers and bone claw from a walrus tusk.
“You’re going to kill me,” Yoochun said and looked up at the ocean surface.
“You went to see your surfer again?” Jaejoong guessed.
Yoochun nodded. “He ... he got too far from shore ... lost his board.”
“Did he see you?”
Yoochun winced. and nodded. “Yeah. He ...”
“Yoochun,” Jaejoong admonished.
“I know, I know, but he ... he would have swam for his board into deeper water and then swam back to shore and ... it was dark. He was the only one in the water, and he ... he ...”
Yoochun spun around and gripped Jaejoong’s shoulders. “He didn’t scream. He didn’t panic. He thanked me and--”
“He spoke to you?”
Yoochun sighed and tilted his head back again. “He asked if I needed a ride to shore. He thought ...”
“He thought you were human.”
“Yeah. And then he stood on the sand and waved to me. I mean ... he could have been waving a bug off his face or something, but he waved, and I know he was looking at the rocks.”
“You are in so much trouble.”
“Please don’t tell,” Yoochun said grabbing his hand. He brought it up to his chest. “Please.” Whisper soft, Yoochun added, “Promise me?”
Jaejoong frowned, eyes flicking down to Yoochun’s lips. They stopped there, and Yoochun held his breath. After a long moment, Jaejoong sighed and pulled Yoochun against him for a hug. “I won’t tell. But you be careful. Night and early morning. When he’s alone. Please. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I promise I’ll be careful.” Shaking, Yoochun pressed a light kiss to Jaejoong’s shoulder. It wasn’t the same as a kiss promise, but it did mean the same thing to Yoochun.
Jaejoong squeezed him and then smiled down at him before letting Yoochun go. He reached behind him and pulled out the spear. “Want me to teach you to throw it?”
Yoochun smiled widely and nodded. His father wouldn’t teach him until the Clan Leader said he was ready.
Jaejoong was almost a Clan Warrior, and would be the next Clan Leader. Yoochun supposed that meant he could do what he wanted.
They’d get in trouble if someone saw them, but not in nearly as much trouble if someone found out that Yoochun had let a human see him.
---
Four in the morning.
In September.
Soon it’d be too cold for even the best wetsuit to protect against the water.
Changmin sat on his board, staring out into open water. He sighed. The water was so calm, it was almost eerie.
Changmin was not ready to admit defeat. He knew what he had seen and he knew that it wasn’t a dream.
But it’d been weeks now. He still couldn’t sleep without the handsome face of the man in his mind.
Merman.
A man with a fish tail. It was so hard to keep believing. He looked up everything he could about merpeople. Everything was speculation. None of the “real footage” looked anything like the merman he had seen.
He had asked Junsu if he believed in mermaids. Ever helpful, Junsu had laughed at him and said the next time he had weed to let him smoke some.
There was a splash to his left, and Changmin jerked his head that way. Something moved in the water toward him, under the surface, straight at him. His heart raced and he turned, paddling for shore. He moved only a few feet before fingers wrapped around his ankle and pulled him back.
Changmin choked on a scream, rolled off his board, shutting his mouth too late, and ended up with a mouthful of seawater. Strong arms lifted him above the surface and he sputtered and coughed.
When his vision cleared, he came face to face with the same wide eyes, full lips, and apple cheeks. The man’s skin was milky pale. His eyes were lit with something blue-ish purple.
“That was not cool,” Changmin said.
The man smiled and turned his head away.
“Are you really a mermaid?”
He frowned.
“I-I mean a ... merman?”
This time the man laughed, the noise a deep rumble from his chest. He nodded and shifted, and Changmin felt smooth scales up his leg.
“Fuck,” Changmin said and tilted his head back. “Can you talk?”
The man swallowed, but nodded.
“What’s your name?”
“Y-yoochun.” His voice matched his laugh.
Changmin smiled and said, “My name is Changmin.”
“I know.” Color flashed over his skin. Not red, like when Changmin blushed, but almost blue.
Changmin stared. The merman was beyond beautiful. Nothing that Changmin would have ever guessed or seen. He almost looked like anyone else walking around the city, but his hair was thicker, ears pointed. His eyes were slanted on the sides, and his pupils were green instead of black and the purplish-blue color around them bled into the whites of his eyes. And there was pale blue webbing between his fingers.
Changmin could not look away, and he didn’t want to.
But he hadn’t realized that the merman had taken him out to the rocks. Too far from shore.
Changmin clung to him, glad that his board was still connected to his foot.
“I’ve ... I’ve been watching you,” Yoochun whispered. “From here. I like watching surfers, but you ... you love it. You shove your heart and spirit into it. And it always seems like you’re here.”
Changmin nodded. “I am. Through the summer anyway.”
“Summer?”
“When it’s hot.”
“Oh, the ocean doesn’t heat up like the earth. Not where I live. Just on the surface.”
“Where do you live?”
Yoochun pointed out to sea. “That way, about ... I do not know human terms. It is far though. Beyond the reef, below even that. Under the shelf. That is why I cannot come every day, even though I want to. And it is forbidden.”
“What is? To come here?”
“No. It is forbidden to allow a human to see us.”
“Then why did you let me?”
“I ... I-I l-like you.” The merman ducked his head again, hiding his face behind his thick black hair. “Y-you’re very h-h-handsome.”
Changmin swallowed roughly. He’d more than once thought of what it would be like to kiss and touch a male body in that way. Usually Junsu’s, and only at night when he was alone in his bed with a hand wrapped around his cock, and images of Junsu’s naked skin against his. But he’d never acted on it. There were enough reasons in his life for his mother to be disappointed in him. And Junsu would probably knee him in the balls.
Yoochun looked up cautiously and must have seen whatever look was on Changmin’s face and his smile fell. He let Changmin go, but the water was too deep and Changmin wasn’t expecting it so he clung tighter to his shoulders, legs sliding up and over the merman’s tail.
Yoochun shivered and pressed himself against the rock. His arms fell to his sides.
“Don’t misunderstand,” Changmin managed, hooking a foot around Yoochun’s tail. “I’ve never ... ... with ... a guy before. It’s just ... I can’t. I’ve never ...”
Yoochun bit his lip and tentatively put his arms back around Changmin’s waist. “Me neither. It is also forbidden, and another reason why I ...” He shook his head and said nothing else.
“Why you what?” Changmin prodded.
Yoochun met his eyes and looked away.
“Tell me,” Changmin asked softly.
Yoochun rose a pale shoulder from the water. “Why ... why I am not good enough. I am different than other merman, Changmin. Different in a bad way. My best friend is perfect and he is strong and noble and his tail is green and mine is purple like a mermaid’s and he cares for me, but not like that, or he will not let himself care for me like that because he is to be paired with a mermaid, and so am I, but I do not want to and I am not a warrior like he is and I am not strong enough to hunt or fish. No matter what I do, I am noticed only for the bad things. My eyes are not right and my skin is pale and weak. And ... and do you ever feel like you just do not belong? That you are not ever going to be good enough for anyone?”
Yoochun fell silent and Changmin held him tightly, face pressed into his wet hair that smelled of seaweed and salt. He hadn’t understood most of what Yoochun had said about why he was a disappointment, but he certainly knew how it felt. He thought of his mother’s disappointment that he didn’t finish school, that he didn’t have a girlfriend, that he only worked in a ramen shop, that he spent all his day on the water.
“All the fucking time,” Changmin finally replied.
Yoochun’s breathing steadied and he pulled away with a soft blush of color. He looked beyond Changmin, smiling before turning Changmin in his arms. The horizon was bright red, the clouds scattered pink through the sky. The line of light signaling the approaching dawn was almost gold.
“I love watching the sunrise from here,” Yoochun whispered.
Changmin nodded. “Me, too.”
“I better go.”
Changmin turned his head and frowned. “Already?”
“My parents will notice I am not in my room and ask me where I have been.”
Changmin smiled. “My mom knows where I always am. Will you come see me again?”
Yoochun bit his lower lip and nodded. “If you wish it.”
“Oh god, I wish it. Please.”
“I will. I do not know when.”
“Soon. I won’t be able to surf soon. It will be too cold.”
Yoochun looked up at the brightening sky, at the fading white crescent of the moon. “When the night sun is full. I will be here again, before the sun brings the day.”
Changmin nodded. “Okay. Until then.”
Yoochun bit his lip again and then said, “A promise between ... pairings.”
Changmin smiled at the term.
“Promises are special and ... well, I promise that I will be here.” Yoochun licked his lips and then before Changmin could move away, they were pressed against his, cool and smooth. Like the water. Changmin lifted a hand to his cheek, cupping it gently and opened his mouth. Yoochun tasted like kelp and salt. Their tongues just barely touched, and then Yoochun pulled away.
“A promise,” Yoochun gasped.
Changmin nodded. “A promise.”
Finally, Changmin climbed on his board. Yoochun towed him halfway to shore, before the fear of being seen made him stop. He twisted and pressed another kiss to Changmin’s cheek and then disappeared in a swirl of water and a flash of light on his tail.
---
Yoochun floated through his family’s kelp gardens. He moved from one side of the path to the other, eyes focused on the historical tome in his hands. He carefully turned the page, reading through the traditions of pairings and betrothals. He could not be paired until he became a Warrior.
He had again been told by the Clan Leader that he was not ready.
Even with Jaejoong’s advice and help on the spear, Yoochun was still deemed too weak.
For seven tides, Yoochun had looked for a mention of someone who was not a Warrior when they were paired. There were none.
Nor did he find any mention of two merman being paired. Not that he actually thought he would find a mention of that.
With a sigh, Yoochun sank to a rock and closed the tome. He would never be paired, but he should have been happy about that. He did not even want to be paired. At least not with Sooyoung. But he would never be paired with Jaejoong. Why had he not been born a mermaid? It would have made his life a lot easier.
He had seen Jaejoong with Minji more and more, their arms linked, their tails brushing. His green balanced perfectly with her lavender scales.
Sooyoung’s tail was almost as dark as Yoochun’s but more purple. The only thing that showed who was the merman between them.
The kelp swirled and water churned.
Yoochun lifted his head and smiled when Sooyoung appeared. They were friends, so he was happy to see her. And even though he had not been told he could do Warrior training yet, Sooyoung was very supportive.
“Hello, my pairing.”
Yoochun felt his cheeks warm and he muttered hello.
She chuckled and settled down next to him. Even if it was not exactly allowed yet, Sooyoung slid her tail along Yoochun’s and hooked their tail fins together. Yoochun swallowed and very carefully put his arm around her. She smiled and pressed against him, an arm around his stomach. It felt different than when he sat like this with Jaejoong. There was comfort in Jaejoong, a beauty between their colors.
“I like your tail,” Sooyoung whispered without looking up. “I know you do not think it is the right color, but it is pretty and matches well with mine.”
“Not handsome,” Yoochun muttered.
Sooyoung shrugged. “Says who? It is on you, who is male.” She leaned back and stared at him until he met her eyes. “You do have essential parts that make you male more than the color of your tail, right?”
“Soo!” Yoochun spluttered.
She laughed and found her spot against his body.
Yoochun cleared his gills with a quick huff. “I am sorry.”
“For what?”
Yoochun did not know how to articulate what he was feeling, but Sooyoung deserved the truth.
“I know ... “ Sooyoung stopped talking and moved almost into his lap.
His scales shivered and he held her around the waist. This was definitely not allowed. She rested her arms on his shoulders, fingers of one hand playing with the tie holding his hair back. She loosened it and smiled when the clumps floated up and around them.
After a moment, she said, “I know that I am not who you want.”
Yoochun thought of protesting, but he and Sooyoung really had known each other for a long time. He’d been friends with Jaejoong even before she was born.
“My brother may enjoy your company, but he will never ever admit it to himself.”
Yoochun nodded. “I am sorry.”
“Do not be. Look.” She shifted again, forcing Yoochun to lean back. Their entire bodies touched and again their fins hook together. “We fit well together. I find you incredibly attractive and handsome. Do you not think I am pretty?”
“Yes, of course. You are.”
She smiled. “Then we will survive, and you will be amazing. You will be ready soon, my pairing.”
Yoochun doubted that, but her support was very welcome.
The kelp moved again and Sooyoung dove off him, her hand sliding down his arm just before her brother appeared.
Jaejoong saw how close they were and frowned, but said nothing more than, “There you two are. Both of our mothers have decided that our families are dining together tonight.”
“Tonight,” Yoochun said, heart breaking. tonight was the strongest tide. The highest surge of water when the night sun was largest in the sky.
Jaejoong looked at him and nodded. “I am sorry.”
“I ... I ... “ Yoochun took a very deep breath and nodded. “Of course.”
“Sooyoung. Give us a minute.”
Sooyoung smiled and lifted from the ground. Her hand stayed against Yoochun’s shoulder for a moment before the disappeared within the kelp.
They stared at one another, and it was Jaejoong who looked away. “Are you meeting him ...”
“Yes,” Yoochun said quickly. “At dawn.” He had told Jaejoong of his talk with his surfer. But not of the promise.
“Will you have time?”
Yoochun shrugged. “I will make time.”
Jaejoong finally looked at him. “My sister ...”
“She is my friend, too. She understands me.”
Jaejoong frowned. “What does that mean?”
Yoochun smiled. “She understands you, too.” He swam past Jaejoong, but the other gripped his arm and spun him around.
Still looking down, Jaejoong muttered, “I will help you. Father wants someone to follow you when you disappear. I will do it, and I will help you see your surfer. I promise.”
Yoochun’s breath caught, water stopping through his gills.
“It is the only thing I can promise you.” He leaned forward, and pressed a kiss half to Yoochun’s lips, just to the side, and Yoochun gasped.
Jaejoong let him go, spun around, and disappeared through the kelp.
COMMENTS ARE DISABLED FOR THIS PART.
This fic was too long for a single LJ Post.
PLEASE COMMENT ON PART 2.
Part 2
.
Pairing: Changmin/Yoochun, Jaejoong/Yoochun!BFFery, Yunho/Changmin, Changmin/Junsu!BFFery, Yoochun/Sooyoung (het), Jaejoong/Minzy (het)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me with the same percentage of certainty that merpeople exist.
Summary: Changmin is floundering with nothing to keep him above water. Yoochun is running with nothing to show him where he belongs. Both are drowning under deep expectations.
A/N: I've been wanting to write a surfer!Min and a merman!Yoochun fic for a long time, so I combined them. This fic did not end up the way I expected it. I doubt it will be what you expect either. This is not your typical fantastical merman/human story.
Mermen: Jaejoong and Yoochun
Humans: Changmin, Junsu and Yunho
Warning: SOME ANGST, long one shot
Changmin’s favorite time to surf was early morning and late evening. Usually the crowds of tourists didn’t invade the beach until the sun was up. Only the locals braved the waves when there was barely enough light to see the rocks.
Changmin paddled out through the lapping surf. The edge of the waves curled in front of him. He heard a shout behind him and looked, seeing his friend Junsu with his own board. Junsu waved and ran into the water.
Changmin smirked and paddled faster. Early morning competition. Well, Junsu wasn’t competition. Changmin was a much better surfer than he was. The tide was low, but the ocean wasn’t choppy enough for Changmin to worry about the rocks hiding under the surf off to his left. He eyed the curl of surf in front of him, moving with it, board rising above it and dropping on the other side. He let one more wave by him and then turned his board for the next one.
He heard Junsu shout something, but then the wave formed and lifted him and he waited, timing it and put his hands on his board and stood up. His feet planted, knees bent and arms out. Balancing for the first twist, he dropped the nose of his board into wave, pressed his feet back, turned, leaning and rode the wave until it died near the shore.
Junsu cheered and Changmin lifted an arm in victory but knocked himself off balance and he fell into the water. He surfaced soon enough to see Junsu make it half down a wave before bailing and being swallowed by the curve of foam.
Changmin laughed and climbed back on his board. He paddled out to Junsu just in time to see Junsu haul himself up on his board.
“Fail, as always,” Changmin said.
Junsu spit ocean water at him.
Changmin laughed. They paddled a bit farther out until they were riding the small waves. Changmin sat up, straddling his board, staring off into the ocean. The sun sparkled on the Eastern rim of the horizon.
“Water is pretty flat this morning,” Junsu said after a few minutes.
Not far away, a tail fin lifted from the water, throwing sparkles of droplets through the sky.
“Wow, that was a neat fin,” Junsu said. “Do you know what kind of fish that was?”
Changmin shook his head. “I’m a surfer, not a fisherman.”
Junsu laughed. “And you’re not a student either. Are you going to school today?”
Changmin shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not. I’ve missed so much, what’s the point?”
“You’re smart, dongsaeng. You should be studying.”
“You’re not smart, hyung. You should be studying harder.”
Junsu shouted at the insult and chopped his arm in the water, spraying Changmin. When Changmin cleared his eyes, Junsu was paddling out to the waves.
He really should have gone to school. But it depended on the waves.
Changmin paddled quickly to catch up to him. Junsu was turning when Changmin hit the same wave. He cursed and tried to turn enough to catch it and instead was tossed into the ocean when he stood up on his board. The wave flipped his board and slammed him into the sandy bottom. The water churned around him, and he opened his eyes and then squeezed them shut when he got nothing but sand in his eyes. Hands curled on his arm and hauled him up to the surface. He spluttered and wiped his eyes. He opened his eyes to thank Junsu for helping him up and froze. Junsu was at least twenty feet away, straddling his board, laughing at him.
Changmin spun around, but it was still just the two of them in the ocean while the sun rose.
He had definitely felt a hand on his arm.
His board bumped against him and he jumped, spinning again. But there was nothing. Just his board and the lightly lapping water.
“Min, come on, the waves are kickin’ up!”
Changmin turned to Junsu who was paddling out again. He jumped on his board and paddled out to meet him.
“You okay?”
Changmin opened his mouth and then shut it and nodded. “Fine.”
The white water was higher on each wave, curling faster after the wakes. Changmin grinned. His morning just got better.
Junsu cried out in jubilation as his board turned. He jumped to his feet and Changmin watched him until the next wave came. There was nothing better than the rush of riding a wave to the bottom. By the time the waves were high enough to tempt the tourists and others into the water, Changmin had forgotten about the feel of hands on his arm and back.
--
Across the bay, indigo eyes watched the two friends play around and surf. Yoochun had been watching Changmin for months, and knew he was a good swimmer. There’d been no reason to help him earlier, except that Yoochun had gotten too close and just couldn’t help himself. He twisted his light indigo tail and ended up pressed against the rock. Surf broke on the other side, spraying him with water. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the wet rock. His thick black hair flowed around his shoulders.
“You are insane!” Jaejoong shouted as soon as he surfaced next to Yoochun. “Completely insane.”
Yoochun smiled at his best friend, but did not reply. Getting that close to the coast when it was supposedly empty was crazy in itself. To go when there were actually people in the water was unheard of.
Yoochun caught one more glimpse of the tall surfer and then sank under the water. He shut his eyes and spun slowly and sat on the sandy bottom. His hair floated around him, blocking some of the sun filtering through the water.
“You are crazy,” Jaejoong said again, settling beside him.
Yoochun nodded. “I-I touched him.”
“You what?!?” Jaejoong screeched.
Yoochun smiled and tilted his head back. “I touched him. His arm. His ... god, he is so strong.”
“You are insane! What if he had seen you?”
Yoochun did not answer.
“Chunnie, you cannot. You cannot let him see you.”
“I know, okay. I know.” Yoochun pushed up from the sand and swam away from the coast.
Jaejoong followed him silently.
It was a stupid crush, he knew that. Having a crush on a human was more common than the leaders of their Clan wanted to admit. Even Jaejoong had spent a few hours a day for more than three months pinning after a human that liked to jog along the beach. The human never went in the water though.
It almost seemed like destiny that Yoochun’s human crush liked to swim almost as much as Yoochun did.
They swam down, following the ocean floor, cutting under and through the reef along the Korean coast. The sand dropped off and Yoochun pointed his body down, arms at his side. His tail waved back and forth quickly. He ignored a few salutations from others in his clan and headed straight to his home, through the kelp fronds blocking his room from the rest of the world. He wanted to be alone, but Jaejoong knew better than to leave him alone.
“You can not,” Jaejoong whispered.
“Shut up. Do not talk about it,” Yoochun snapped.
Jaejoong pouted and fell to a kelp-covered rock. He crossed his arms and pouted. “You will get in so much trouble.”
“Especially if you keep talking about it where other people can hear you!”
“Sorry,” Jaejoong said, his pout more pronounced.
Yoochun sighed and sank down next to him. Their arms wound around each other, and Jaejoong ran his deep turquoise tail up Yoochun’s, drawing a shiver from him.
“And you will get in trouble if you keep doing that to me,” Yoochun whispered.
“We are friends. It doesn’t mean the same. And you will be with Sooyoung soon.”
Yoochun frowned at the reminder. “You are just determined to get me in trouble today,” Yoochun muttered.
“At least with the human--”
“Be quiet,” Yoochun hissed.
Jaejoong huffed. “I do not want you to get in trouble.”
Yoochun turned his head and met Jaejoong’s eyes. Green eyes that matched his tail, surrounded by the fall of darker hair than Yoochun’s.
Everything about Jaejoong’s features screamed Clan Warrior. He had broad shoulders, strong sculpted muscles, and a small waist that flowed seamlessly into his long tail.
But Yoochun was a disappointment. He wasn’t necessarily weak and he did have nice square shoulders, but he did not build muscles like Jaejoong. His chest was smaller, his stomach toned instead of cobbled. And his tail was almost the color of most females. It was just on this edge of blue, but in certain light it looked purple and with his slimmer arms and slimmer waist, he’d been confused with a mermaid more than once.
Maybe that was why Jaejoong was attracted to him. And why he was attracted to Jaejoong. Next to Sooyoung’s tail, Yoochun’s did look blue. But laying here, next to Jaejoong, his tail was purple.
Yoochun hated it.
Jaejoong tightened his hold on Yoochun’s body and pulled Yoochun close enough to tuck his head under his chin. They were out of sight from Yoochun’s window, and they’d see the water churning from someone coming up through the home, but the thought of being discovered in such a position had Yoochun’s heart racing and water streaming rapidly through his gills.
Jaejoong was the Clan Leader’s only son. He had duties to fulfill.
And Yoochun was betrothed to his sister. And they were just friends.
Yoochun wondered if he could swim away. If he did, would Jaejoong go with him? He would not ask.
---
Sometimes Changmin liked to paddle out almost too far on his board, lay back and float his way to shore. It wasn’t entirely safe since his board and his legs would look pretty tasty to a shark, but there hadn’t been a shark sighting on this beach for at least three years.
It was early evening. The sun was sinking on the other side of the sky. Changmin watched the brightest stars pop out in the growing darkness.
He needed to get back to shore. Skipping school wasn’t the same as skipping work. He had to earn enough money to feed his mom and sister. His mom’s paycheck went to pay for his sister’s school fees.
He was a lost cause. He told his mom to stop paying his school fees. Junsu said his desk was given to a new student. And his sister got a brand new uniform. One where the skirt actually zipped and she didn’t have to hide the fact that it was too small with one of his larger white shirts.
Changmin had liked school. He had liked to learn and read. But then their father left. And their mother was never home. And too busy or too tired to talk to about the things he was learning. It lost its appeal.
And then he had to get a job. Working a few hours at a ramen shop five nights a week didn’t earn too much, but it was the least he could do.
School didn’t seem that important when his mother was starving so she could feed her two children.
Changmin suddenly realized how dark it was. He cursed and moved to flip over on his board at the same moment that a small swell picked him up and dropped him down. He lost his grip on his board and fell into the water. Sputtering, he shot to the surface and cursed even more when he saw his board floating away from him. He forgot to hook the leash to his foot.
He turned to the shore. He could easily swim back, but he wasn’t leaving his board. It was the most expensive thing he owned and it took him over a year to save up the money for it.
Before he could take the first stroke toward the board, he realized that it was moving toward him. That made no sense. The tide was ebbing, pulling everything out from the shore. It was why he managed to get so far away just floating.
He blinked in the dark and shook his head. But the board was still moving straight to him. A few feet away he saw fingers curled on the rail. His mouth dropped open and he barely had a moment to register that when his board bumped him in the chest. He gripped onto it, arm flung over the deck.
Hands. Those were definitely hands that moved to the nose, steadying the board, and Changmin used the extra help and climbed on. When he was secure, the hands disappeared.
Changmin didn’t think he could be more surprised, and then a head popped up from the water, and he stared and stared and stared, mouth still open. It was too hard to see in the dark, and Changmin couldn’t tell if it was a guy or a girl. Long hair flowed on the top of water like seaweed. Blue eyes shimmered in the dark. Lips were sucked into his mouth, and Changmin knew that whoever this was was worried.
Changmin swallowed. “T-th-thanks.”
The head ducked under the water.
“W-wait,” Changmin almost shouted.
And it returned. A hand lifted and moved hair from milky skin. A strong jawline, square shoulders.
Definitely male.
Changmin swallowed again. “Do ... d-do need a ride back to shore?”
A shy smile curved the man’s mouth and he shook his head. He suddenly turned to the right, hearing something Changmin didn’t. He bit his lower lip, looked at Changmin, and then bolted away faster than Changmin thought anyone could swim. He was about to call out for him, and then the man’s body curled up, arching over the water, and pierced it in a clean dive, down below a swell and swallowed by the ocean, a tail fin slapping in the water last.
Changmin almost fell off his board again.
He sat there, decided that he had fallen asleep on his board and dreamed the whole thing and began the long swim back to shore.
Changmin had heard the tales of sailors saved by mermaids.
But he had never, ever believed them. Fuck, he still wasn’t sure he believed it. When he finally dragged himself and his board up on the sand, he was almost convinced that he’d imagined it. He turned around, stared at the dark ocean sparkling with moonlight. Something moved near the rocky outcrop. A shadow. It could have been a seal. It could have been anything.
Changmin didn’t know, but he lifted his arm and waved anyway, before turning around and practically sprinting for home. He was going to be very late for work.
---
Yoochun sequestered himself in their garden. He barricaded himself in the anemone grotto and refused to come out of the farthest corner.
He was in so much trouble. So much trouble.
When even his younger brother couldn’t get him to explain himself, they sent for Jaejoong. It’d been weeks since Yoochun had last seen his best friend. Jaejoong was training with the Clan leaders. There had been a shark too close to their village, and it was up to the men to either chase it off, or kill it.
It was Jaejoong’s very first shark hunt.
Yoochun had not been deemed strong enough to go.
Yoochun felt the water around him churn and recognized Jaejoong’s presence, just before he whispered, “Chunnie-ah?”
Yoochun bit his lip and turned his head, eyes so full of guilt and hope and love.
Jaejoong immediately dropped to the rock floor beside him. “Oh, Chunnie, what did you do?”
Yoochun had no idea if anyone was outside the grotto listening, so he did nothing more than accept Jaejoong’s hug and a soft touch of his hand down his arm.
“Everyone is worried about you,” Jaejoong asked. “Is this about the hunt?”
An out. Yoochun looked up, grateful for the opportunity. It meant that someone was indeed listening outside of the grotto, because Jaejoong knew that Yoochun hadn’t cared that much about not being able to go. At least he didn’t anymore. Jaejoong knew that this was about something else.
Yoochun nodded. “It’s just not fair. I’m strong and quick.”
“I know. Maybe next year.”
It was the same thing his very disappointed father had said when the Clan Leader had left after bearing the shaming news.
Yoochun sighed. “Are you busy? Can we go for a swim?”
“Maybe during the next tide.”
Yoochun tilted his head up and smiled. “Okay.”
Their lips were so close, their bodies brushing against each other. Yoochun hoped that had they been alone, Jaejoong would have kissed him. There had been many opportunities in the past for them to kiss, but Jaejoong had never done so.
Maybe Yoochun only thought Jaejoong was attracted to him. Maybe this was the way all best friends felt about each other. He had no idea.
Jaejoong’s presence did not get his body thrumming the way the human surfer’s did though. And they hadn’t even been that close.
“Come on,” Jaejoong said after another strong hug. “Your mother is very worried about you.”
Two tides later, the two of them swam out into the basin. It wasn’t the safest place because of shark and squid attacks as well as possible human boats above, but it was easy for them to talk and know if someone was coming.
There was a rock, jutting from the bottom. Yoochun went there, flung a few lobsters off the rock and sat right on the tip. Jaejoong floated next to him. He was wearing his brand new spear, strapped across his back in an intricately designed holster of kelp and bone. A belt was secured around his waist that held two stone daggers and bone claw from a walrus tusk.
“You’re going to kill me,” Yoochun said and looked up at the ocean surface.
“You went to see your surfer again?” Jaejoong guessed.
Yoochun nodded. “He ... he got too far from shore ... lost his board.”
“Did he see you?”
Yoochun winced. and nodded. “Yeah. He ...”
“Yoochun,” Jaejoong admonished.
“I know, I know, but he ... he would have swam for his board into deeper water and then swam back to shore and ... it was dark. He was the only one in the water, and he ... he ...”
Yoochun spun around and gripped Jaejoong’s shoulders. “He didn’t scream. He didn’t panic. He thanked me and--”
“He spoke to you?”
Yoochun sighed and tilted his head back again. “He asked if I needed a ride to shore. He thought ...”
“He thought you were human.”
“Yeah. And then he stood on the sand and waved to me. I mean ... he could have been waving a bug off his face or something, but he waved, and I know he was looking at the rocks.”
“You are in so much trouble.”
“Please don’t tell,” Yoochun said grabbing his hand. He brought it up to his chest. “Please.” Whisper soft, Yoochun added, “Promise me?”
Jaejoong frowned, eyes flicking down to Yoochun’s lips. They stopped there, and Yoochun held his breath. After a long moment, Jaejoong sighed and pulled Yoochun against him for a hug. “I won’t tell. But you be careful. Night and early morning. When he’s alone. Please. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I promise I’ll be careful.” Shaking, Yoochun pressed a light kiss to Jaejoong’s shoulder. It wasn’t the same as a kiss promise, but it did mean the same thing to Yoochun.
Jaejoong squeezed him and then smiled down at him before letting Yoochun go. He reached behind him and pulled out the spear. “Want me to teach you to throw it?”
Yoochun smiled widely and nodded. His father wouldn’t teach him until the Clan Leader said he was ready.
Jaejoong was almost a Clan Warrior, and would be the next Clan Leader. Yoochun supposed that meant he could do what he wanted.
They’d get in trouble if someone saw them, but not in nearly as much trouble if someone found out that Yoochun had let a human see him.
---
Four in the morning.
In September.
Soon it’d be too cold for even the best wetsuit to protect against the water.
Changmin sat on his board, staring out into open water. He sighed. The water was so calm, it was almost eerie.
Changmin was not ready to admit defeat. He knew what he had seen and he knew that it wasn’t a dream.
But it’d been weeks now. He still couldn’t sleep without the handsome face of the man in his mind.
Merman.
A man with a fish tail. It was so hard to keep believing. He looked up everything he could about merpeople. Everything was speculation. None of the “real footage” looked anything like the merman he had seen.
He had asked Junsu if he believed in mermaids. Ever helpful, Junsu had laughed at him and said the next time he had weed to let him smoke some.
There was a splash to his left, and Changmin jerked his head that way. Something moved in the water toward him, under the surface, straight at him. His heart raced and he turned, paddling for shore. He moved only a few feet before fingers wrapped around his ankle and pulled him back.
Changmin choked on a scream, rolled off his board, shutting his mouth too late, and ended up with a mouthful of seawater. Strong arms lifted him above the surface and he sputtered and coughed.
When his vision cleared, he came face to face with the same wide eyes, full lips, and apple cheeks. The man’s skin was milky pale. His eyes were lit with something blue-ish purple.
“That was not cool,” Changmin said.
The man smiled and turned his head away.
“Are you really a mermaid?”
He frowned.
“I-I mean a ... merman?”
This time the man laughed, the noise a deep rumble from his chest. He nodded and shifted, and Changmin felt smooth scales up his leg.
“Fuck,” Changmin said and tilted his head back. “Can you talk?”
The man swallowed, but nodded.
“What’s your name?”
“Y-yoochun.” His voice matched his laugh.
Changmin smiled and said, “My name is Changmin.”
“I know.” Color flashed over his skin. Not red, like when Changmin blushed, but almost blue.
Changmin stared. The merman was beyond beautiful. Nothing that Changmin would have ever guessed or seen. He almost looked like anyone else walking around the city, but his hair was thicker, ears pointed. His eyes were slanted on the sides, and his pupils were green instead of black and the purplish-blue color around them bled into the whites of his eyes. And there was pale blue webbing between his fingers.
Changmin could not look away, and he didn’t want to.
But he hadn’t realized that the merman had taken him out to the rocks. Too far from shore.
Changmin clung to him, glad that his board was still connected to his foot.
“I’ve ... I’ve been watching you,” Yoochun whispered. “From here. I like watching surfers, but you ... you love it. You shove your heart and spirit into it. And it always seems like you’re here.”
Changmin nodded. “I am. Through the summer anyway.”
“Summer?”
“When it’s hot.”
“Oh, the ocean doesn’t heat up like the earth. Not where I live. Just on the surface.”
“Where do you live?”
Yoochun pointed out to sea. “That way, about ... I do not know human terms. It is far though. Beyond the reef, below even that. Under the shelf. That is why I cannot come every day, even though I want to. And it is forbidden.”
“What is? To come here?”
“No. It is forbidden to allow a human to see us.”
“Then why did you let me?”
“I ... I-I l-like you.” The merman ducked his head again, hiding his face behind his thick black hair. “Y-you’re very h-h-handsome.”
Changmin swallowed roughly. He’d more than once thought of what it would be like to kiss and touch a male body in that way. Usually Junsu’s, and only at night when he was alone in his bed with a hand wrapped around his cock, and images of Junsu’s naked skin against his. But he’d never acted on it. There were enough reasons in his life for his mother to be disappointed in him. And Junsu would probably knee him in the balls.
Yoochun looked up cautiously and must have seen whatever look was on Changmin’s face and his smile fell. He let Changmin go, but the water was too deep and Changmin wasn’t expecting it so he clung tighter to his shoulders, legs sliding up and over the merman’s tail.
Yoochun shivered and pressed himself against the rock. His arms fell to his sides.
“Don’t misunderstand,” Changmin managed, hooking a foot around Yoochun’s tail. “I’ve never ... ... with ... a guy before. It’s just ... I can’t. I’ve never ...”
Yoochun bit his lip and tentatively put his arms back around Changmin’s waist. “Me neither. It is also forbidden, and another reason why I ...” He shook his head and said nothing else.
“Why you what?” Changmin prodded.
Yoochun met his eyes and looked away.
“Tell me,” Changmin asked softly.
Yoochun rose a pale shoulder from the water. “Why ... why I am not good enough. I am different than other merman, Changmin. Different in a bad way. My best friend is perfect and he is strong and noble and his tail is green and mine is purple like a mermaid’s and he cares for me, but not like that, or he will not let himself care for me like that because he is to be paired with a mermaid, and so am I, but I do not want to and I am not a warrior like he is and I am not strong enough to hunt or fish. No matter what I do, I am noticed only for the bad things. My eyes are not right and my skin is pale and weak. And ... and do you ever feel like you just do not belong? That you are not ever going to be good enough for anyone?”
Yoochun fell silent and Changmin held him tightly, face pressed into his wet hair that smelled of seaweed and salt. He hadn’t understood most of what Yoochun had said about why he was a disappointment, but he certainly knew how it felt. He thought of his mother’s disappointment that he didn’t finish school, that he didn’t have a girlfriend, that he only worked in a ramen shop, that he spent all his day on the water.
“All the fucking time,” Changmin finally replied.
Yoochun’s breathing steadied and he pulled away with a soft blush of color. He looked beyond Changmin, smiling before turning Changmin in his arms. The horizon was bright red, the clouds scattered pink through the sky. The line of light signaling the approaching dawn was almost gold.
“I love watching the sunrise from here,” Yoochun whispered.
Changmin nodded. “Me, too.”
“I better go.”
Changmin turned his head and frowned. “Already?”
“My parents will notice I am not in my room and ask me where I have been.”
Changmin smiled. “My mom knows where I always am. Will you come see me again?”
Yoochun bit his lower lip and nodded. “If you wish it.”
“Oh god, I wish it. Please.”
“I will. I do not know when.”
“Soon. I won’t be able to surf soon. It will be too cold.”
Yoochun looked up at the brightening sky, at the fading white crescent of the moon. “When the night sun is full. I will be here again, before the sun brings the day.”
Changmin nodded. “Okay. Until then.”
Yoochun bit his lip again and then said, “A promise between ... pairings.”
Changmin smiled at the term.
“Promises are special and ... well, I promise that I will be here.” Yoochun licked his lips and then before Changmin could move away, they were pressed against his, cool and smooth. Like the water. Changmin lifted a hand to his cheek, cupping it gently and opened his mouth. Yoochun tasted like kelp and salt. Their tongues just barely touched, and then Yoochun pulled away.
“A promise,” Yoochun gasped.
Changmin nodded. “A promise.”
Finally, Changmin climbed on his board. Yoochun towed him halfway to shore, before the fear of being seen made him stop. He twisted and pressed another kiss to Changmin’s cheek and then disappeared in a swirl of water and a flash of light on his tail.
---
Yoochun floated through his family’s kelp gardens. He moved from one side of the path to the other, eyes focused on the historical tome in his hands. He carefully turned the page, reading through the traditions of pairings and betrothals. He could not be paired until he became a Warrior.
He had again been told by the Clan Leader that he was not ready.
Even with Jaejoong’s advice and help on the spear, Yoochun was still deemed too weak.
For seven tides, Yoochun had looked for a mention of someone who was not a Warrior when they were paired. There were none.
Nor did he find any mention of two merman being paired. Not that he actually thought he would find a mention of that.
With a sigh, Yoochun sank to a rock and closed the tome. He would never be paired, but he should have been happy about that. He did not even want to be paired. At least not with Sooyoung. But he would never be paired with Jaejoong. Why had he not been born a mermaid? It would have made his life a lot easier.
He had seen Jaejoong with Minji more and more, their arms linked, their tails brushing. His green balanced perfectly with her lavender scales.
Sooyoung’s tail was almost as dark as Yoochun’s but more purple. The only thing that showed who was the merman between them.
The kelp swirled and water churned.
Yoochun lifted his head and smiled when Sooyoung appeared. They were friends, so he was happy to see her. And even though he had not been told he could do Warrior training yet, Sooyoung was very supportive.
“Hello, my pairing.”
Yoochun felt his cheeks warm and he muttered hello.
She chuckled and settled down next to him. Even if it was not exactly allowed yet, Sooyoung slid her tail along Yoochun’s and hooked their tail fins together. Yoochun swallowed and very carefully put his arm around her. She smiled and pressed against him, an arm around his stomach. It felt different than when he sat like this with Jaejoong. There was comfort in Jaejoong, a beauty between their colors.
“I like your tail,” Sooyoung whispered without looking up. “I know you do not think it is the right color, but it is pretty and matches well with mine.”
“Not handsome,” Yoochun muttered.
Sooyoung shrugged. “Says who? It is on you, who is male.” She leaned back and stared at him until he met her eyes. “You do have essential parts that make you male more than the color of your tail, right?”
“Soo!” Yoochun spluttered.
She laughed and found her spot against his body.
Yoochun cleared his gills with a quick huff. “I am sorry.”
“For what?”
Yoochun did not know how to articulate what he was feeling, but Sooyoung deserved the truth.
“I know ... “ Sooyoung stopped talking and moved almost into his lap.
His scales shivered and he held her around the waist. This was definitely not allowed. She rested her arms on his shoulders, fingers of one hand playing with the tie holding his hair back. She loosened it and smiled when the clumps floated up and around them.
After a moment, she said, “I know that I am not who you want.”
Yoochun thought of protesting, but he and Sooyoung really had known each other for a long time. He’d been friends with Jaejoong even before she was born.
“My brother may enjoy your company, but he will never ever admit it to himself.”
Yoochun nodded. “I am sorry.”
“Do not be. Look.” She shifted again, forcing Yoochun to lean back. Their entire bodies touched and again their fins hook together. “We fit well together. I find you incredibly attractive and handsome. Do you not think I am pretty?”
“Yes, of course. You are.”
She smiled. “Then we will survive, and you will be amazing. You will be ready soon, my pairing.”
Yoochun doubted that, but her support was very welcome.
The kelp moved again and Sooyoung dove off him, her hand sliding down his arm just before her brother appeared.
Jaejoong saw how close they were and frowned, but said nothing more than, “There you two are. Both of our mothers have decided that our families are dining together tonight.”
“Tonight,” Yoochun said, heart breaking. tonight was the strongest tide. The highest surge of water when the night sun was largest in the sky.
Jaejoong looked at him and nodded. “I am sorry.”
“I ... I ... “ Yoochun took a very deep breath and nodded. “Of course.”
“Sooyoung. Give us a minute.”
Sooyoung smiled and lifted from the ground. Her hand stayed against Yoochun’s shoulder for a moment before the disappeared within the kelp.
They stared at one another, and it was Jaejoong who looked away. “Are you meeting him ...”
“Yes,” Yoochun said quickly. “At dawn.” He had told Jaejoong of his talk with his surfer. But not of the promise.
“Will you have time?”
Yoochun shrugged. “I will make time.”
Jaejoong finally looked at him. “My sister ...”
“She is my friend, too. She understands me.”
Jaejoong frowned. “What does that mean?”
Yoochun smiled. “She understands you, too.” He swam past Jaejoong, but the other gripped his arm and spun him around.
Still looking down, Jaejoong muttered, “I will help you. Father wants someone to follow you when you disappear. I will do it, and I will help you see your surfer. I promise.”
Yoochun’s breath caught, water stopping through his gills.
“It is the only thing I can promise you.” He leaned forward, and pressed a kiss half to Yoochun’s lips, just to the side, and Yoochun gasped.
Jaejoong let him go, spun around, and disappeared through the kelp.
COMMENTS ARE DISABLED FOR THIS PART.
This fic was too long for a single LJ Post.
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Part 2
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