What Time Can't Erase 7/7
Title: What Time Can't Erase 7/7
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: These definitely aren't mine. Characters and the plots of the Harry Potter series are property of JK Rowling.
Summary: Harry Potter is an average New York City cop. A not-so-average blond man and a frustrating case have Harry questioning everything. This fic is not AU, even if the summary makes it sound like it. It falls under the Harry Potter fanfic classification of EWE (epilogue, what epilogue?)
A/N: I have no idea how long ago I started writing it. But well, now it's finished, so ... enjoy.
A/N: Extra special double update for devilaugh before she goes to China
Part 7:
Harry agreed to take another dose of Dreamless Sleep potion. He really needed it. When he woke up, he had no idea what time it was or what day it was, or anything that probably was important. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. His body was pleasantly sore from sex and he smiled while reaching for his glasses. He needed to go get some contacts. Or maybe there was a spell for that. He'd have to ask Draco. The world focused, and Harry reached for his phone.
He had about eighteen missed calls, most from Kat. He checked the time. It almost four the next afternoon. Harry had more or less disappeared for two days.
“Fuck.”
He called Kat’s number.
“Harry, thank god. Where are you?”
Harry yawned. “Sorry. I’ve been at Draco’s.”
“Oh. Everything okay then, since you disappeared for two days?”
“You might say that. He’s a stubborn bloke.”
Kat laughed. “Nice English accent. And I’ll just bet he is.”
Draco wandered into the bedroom. He was wearing linen pants and a white shirt that brushed low on his hips. He frowned at Harry.
“I’m going to assume that you aren’t coming into the station today.”
Harry bit his lip. This was something he did not want to deal with yet. “No, Kat. I need a sabbatical.”
“For how long?”
“I …” He wanted to tell her. He had to tell her. Disappearing again was not an option.
“Harry?”
“I need to you come to Draco’s tonight. Please.”
“Harry,” she said in question, and he heard Draco inhale in protest.
“Please. It’s really important.”
“Okay, what time?”
“Six.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Kat.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I know. I’m okay. I promise.”
Harry ended the call and then met Draco’s eyes.
“You can’t tell her,” Draco said.
“Yes, I can.”
“That’s against the law.”
“That’s rich, coming from you.”
Draco bristled, turned around and left the bedroom.
Harry sighed and forced his body up. He took a shower, and then dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and went to the main room. Draco was in the kitchen, cooking. Everything smelled delicious.
“Figure your friend will be hungry.”
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco’s waist and kissed his neck. “Thank you. You're amazing.”
“It only took you fifteen years to figure that out.”
Harry chuckled. "Actually, it only took me about ten minutes of sex."
Draco smiled.
Harry kissed his cheek before releasing him. With a bit of trepidation, Harry moved to the living room and picked up the box that held his wand. It’d been six years since it was in his hand. Six years.
He opened the case and stared at the piece of wood inside. Eleven inches of holly with a phoenix feather core. A vague memory of his wand being in pieces came to mind. He'd had it fixed. With another wand? Harry wasn't sure. He shook his head.
Rudimentary spells trickled through his memories. With a deep breath, he wrapped his fingers around his wand. Energy twisted up through his fingers and his arm, and a shower of gold sparks shot from the end of it. His wand vibrated and Harry put it down.
“It’s glad to see you,” Draco said.
Harry snorted. “I’m still not sure I’m glad to see it.”
Draco sat next to him and put his arm around him. Harry picked up the wand again, and then said, “Accio” and the pillows on the other couch zoomed over to them.
“That is pretty cool,” Harry said.
Draco laughed. “Yeah, magic can be cool.”
“And deadly.”
Something in the kitchen beeped, and Draco pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek and stood up. Harry went through some of the simpler spells he’d first learned at Hogwarts, and more or less made a mess of Draco’s apartment. A few minutes before six, with the food under a Warming Charm, Draco and Harry cleaned up the mess. He’d accidentally shredded a pillow and feathers had flown everywhere.
Harry put the wand back in the box and sighed.
“You’re not happy.”
Harry shrugged. “I forgot for a reason, Draco. I just … I just wish I remembered why.”
Draco ran his hand over Harry’s cheek. “I think it’s all there. The stress, the press, the deaths, the funerals. Hell, Harry, you couldn’t go to Diagon Alley without an escort of bodyguards.”
“So many people died, and I … I think if I had done something sooner, been faster or stronger or-”
“You’ll tire of hearing this, I’m sure you already did tire of it once, but you did the best you could.”
A soft chime echoed in the room. Draco’s wards, and Draco smiled, held Harry’s hand and went out to meet Kat in the main room. Kat was in her standard skirt suit and she smiled at Harry and then didn’t lose the smile while shaking Draco’s hand.
“You look better than you did the last time I saw you,” Kat said to Harry.
“Yeah, sex and sleep can do wonders for a man’s appearance,” Draco said and winked at her.
Kat laughed. “And he never looked that good when he was sleeping with me. You hang on to this one,” she said, pointing a stern finger at Harry.
“I plan on it.”
Draco led them back to the dining room, and Kat whistled. “This is a gorgeous space, Malfoy.”
“Thanks. I like it. It’s not home, but it does the trick.”
“Are you in the U.S. for good, or do you plan on going back to England soon?”
Draco looked over at Harry. “That depends.”
“Aw, so cute,” Kat said and patted Harry’s cheek.
Harry pulled his head away and laughed. “He’s surprisingly a bit of a sucker for romance.”
Draco served them dinner and Harry listened to Kat talk about the new cases they had and some of the more annoying ones that didn’t have enough evidence.
“Randall is determined to give you all the shittiest cases,” Kat said, “but if you’re going to go on sabbatical, he won’t have a choice but to do them himself.”
Harry set his spoon down, ice cream parfait only half eaten. “About that.”
Kat raised her eyebrows. “Ah, so now we’re going to talk about why I’m really here.”
“She’s a smart one,” Draco said.
“Why do you think she dated me?”
“And broke up with you.”
“Prat,” Harry said and ran a finger over Draco’s jaw.
“You’re quitting,” Kat said. Her voice was neutral. Maybe a little hurt.
“No, Kat, I’m remembering.”
“What?”
Harry wasn’t sure how to tell her. “I told you, that I felt like two people, that these dreams felt like memories. Well, they are memories.”
Kat looked at him and said nothing.
“I do know Draco, I’ve known Draco since I was eleven years old.”
“So you’ve had amnesia or something?”
“Sort of.”
“Harry has never been good at explaining himself,” Draco said. “What he’s dancing around is this. There are two kinds of people who live in this world. Two worlds that live side by side. Muggles and Wizards. We’re wizards.”
“What?” Kat said in disbelief.
“Harry, here, is … well, he’s a bit of a prat. Let me get some more wine.” Draco lifted a hand and a bottle of wine flew to the table.
Kat probably would have fainted if she’d been a weaker woman.
Draco didn’t touch the bottle, but just let it float there and pour the wine and sent the glass to Kat. It dropped to the table gently. Eyeing it, she picked it up and took a swallow.
“Good vintage,” she said.
“It pays to be rich,” Draco said and took a sip of his own wine.
Harry started at the beginning. He told Kat about growing up with the Dursleys, and then turning eleven and then Hogwarts and Draco and Ron and Hermione. He told her about Voldemort and the war and why Draco’s father was in prison. Draco filled in the spaces that Harry couldn’t remember yet.
It was almost eleven when Kat said, “Okay, so why are you here? Why are you a New York City cop?”
“The million Galleon question,” Draco muttered.
Harry took a deep breath. He remembered some of his emotions, and some of the instances that drove him to be here. One of which was the pressure to marry Ginny Weasley. “When your entire life is dictated by others, when you give up your life for so many people and then they just won’t leave you alone, it’s hard to deal with that. They … I … I felt really trapped. I didn’t want to be an Auror. I didn’t want to marry Ginerva Weasley. I didn’t want … I didn’t want the life they wanted. I wanted to be alone. And in their world, I wasn’t able to be alone.”
Draco put his arm around Harry’s shoulders and kissed his cheek.
“I still can’t remember things, especially that close to me wiping my memory.”
Kat was on her fourth glass of wine at this time, but she refused Draco’s offer at a refill. “So I can assume that you are going to quit.”
Harry looked at Draco.
Draco frowned. “What, love?”
“I don’t want to go back.”
Draco inhaled deeply. “Then don’t go back.”
“But …”
“Harry, come on. When you go back, no one is going to leave you alone. You think Granger was bad. The Weasel Mother is going to be ten times worse.”
Harry put his face in his hands. “I know.”
“If you go back,” Kat said, “then it should be on your own terms. Not on everyone else’s. I get that you’re this special person. The Chosen One-”
Draco scoffed.
“-but other people cannot dictate your life. What would you do? No, what do you want to do if you go back?”
Harry leaned into Draco’s body. “The only time I felt really happy was when I was with the children at the orphanage.”
“So do that,” Draco said. “It’s not like you aren’t as rich as I am, back in England anyway. You don’t have to be an Auror.”
Harry took a deep breath.
“It sounds like those kids really do need someone,” Kat said. “You don’t have to be a father to them all, but an older brother sounds like a great idea.”
It really did sound nice. Harry wondered why he hadn't just done that, after the war, and he figured that he’d been too busy trying to make everyone else happy.
After a few more minutes, Kat got up to leave. She agreed to a Secrecy charm and Draco set it. It wouldn't erase her memory of the night, but she wouldn't be able to talk about it and when asked, all she could say is that Harry quit and ran off to England with his British boyfriend.
Kat kissed Harry’s cheek and Draco took her down to the lobby to see that she got into a cab. Harry lay back on the couch, eyes shut. His heart was aching. The feelings of hopelessness, fear and anger weren't his, but they were. He remembered them all, and knew this was just an echo of what he had been feeling when he’d disappeared. He denied his friends’ worries and didn't think he had to talk to anyone. He had been trapped in his own mind, in his own need to not worry anyone and it ate him up.
Harry remembered contemplating killing himself, but he knew that would be horrible for his friends. He knew disappearing would be too, but after a while, their lives would go on.
Obviously they didn't. He needed to talk to Hermione.
Draco sat next to him and put his arm around him. Harry folded himself into Draco’s embrace.
“You don’t want to go back?” Draco whispered a few minutes later.
“Not really.”
“I understand. But I know you. You’ll go back because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do.”
Harry sighed and pushed away.
“Don’t go back for them. Don’t go back for me. Go back for yourself. If you want to stay here, in New York and be a cop, then do that. If you want to live with the children at the orphanage, then do that. Children love with innocence, and you can help them.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, but not right now.” Draco lowered Harry to the couch, and Harry sighed as their lips met. The wine and Draco’s attentions were enough to get him forget, for a few hours anyway.
---/---
Harry loved waking up in Draco’s bed. He loved waking up in his arms, and he loved waking up to the feel of his stiff prick against his ass.
“Morning, love,” Draco whispered.
Harry sighed and lifted he leg. He hooked it over Draco’s hip and Draco moaned. His erection teased Harry’s stretched body, and then with a little guidance, Draco slipped inside him. Harry wrapped his arm around Draco’s neck and turned his head to the side for a deep kiss.
“I think I managed to go all day yesterday without saying that I love you,” Harry whispered.
Draco smiled. “Maybe.”
“It feels …”
“Weird. I know.”
“But the feeling is real. I do love you, Draco. Different circumstances and I would have loved you in school too.”
Draco nodded and they kissed again. “I love you, too.”
Harry’s chest felt like it was constricting. Their tongues twisted together, and Draco’s thrusts sped up. His long fingers curled around Harry’s erection and stroked him in time to the steady movements. Harry loved this. Loved being held on the brink of orgasm until Draco was ready to come too. He never, ever thought he’d find a lover that knew him so well, or knew his body so well.
He broke from the kiss, clamped down around Draco’s erection and pumped out his release onto Draco’s bed. Draco smiled and then shut his eyes. With his face buried in Harry’s neck, he moaned and shuddered and then stilled.
After a few minutes, Harry was dozing again. Draco reluctantly pulled out of him, and whispered a cleaning charm that took care of the mess. Harry liked that spell too.
“The Weasel and Granger are coming over in an hour,” Draco whispered.
Harry sighed.
“I know, but you can get some answers from them.” Draco kissed his cheek and Harry leaned against his body.
“Shower with me?”
“Of course. And then tea and breakfast.”
After their shower, Harry stared at himself in the mirror. Really, really stared. He spent so much time avoiding his reflection, unsure as to why. He lifted the fringe off his forehead and examined the scar that marked him as the Savior. The Chosen One. The Boy Who Would Not Just Bloody Die Already. It wasn't the worst of his scars, and it was one of few that he couldn't even remember receiving. He knew how he got it. But he’d only been a baby. He didn't remember anything else.
Was that so bad? Forgetting?
When he thought of his past, of his real past, there were more things he wished he could forget than things he wanted to remember. His life had been controlled and manipulated since this scar was put on his forehead. Harry didn't want it to dictate the rest of his life, but now that his memories were back, he didn't have much of a choice.
Draco knocked on the door frame and then leaned against it. “The other two thirds of the Golden Trio are here.”
Harry nodded. He had heard the crack of Apparition.
“Brooding, Potter?”
Harry met his eyes in the mirror. “Would you stay here?”
“In the bathroom?”
“In New York.”
Draco waved his hand in a familiar and easy silencing charm. “Make sense.”
Harry sighed and looked back at his reflection. It winked at him, and he looked away. “If I don’t go back, will you stay with me?”
Draco leaned against the sink and crossed his arms. “You shouldn't let your decision rest on that.”
“I know, but I love you.”
Draco smiled and let Harry kiss him. “What do I have in England, except people who hate me and living under the shadow of my father?”
“Your mother.”
“A quick international port key away. But what do you have? What do you have in England?”
“I don’t know. That depends on if you’re there.”
Draco smiled. “We’ll go out there. And we’ll talk to them. But I want you to remember this, Potter. You have no obligations to anyone but yourself. Selfish? Probably. But you've given up enough of your life, first to the Dursleys, and then to the war and now to this other version of you. Live your life. It’s your life. Not theirs.”
Harry nodded. “I know.”
“Go put some clothes on,” Draco said.
“Too bad.”
Draco laughed and walked out of the bathroom.
Harry gave his reflection one more look. It smiled at him and said, “You know he’s right.”
“Draco is always right.”
His reflection nodded, and then stilled. Harry sighed. Magic could be so creepy. He left the bathroom and pulled on a pair of tattered jeans and a t-shirt. The day before, Draco had gone to his apartment and picked up a bunch of his clothes and other things for him. The last thing he did was shove his wand in his pocket. It was taking a lot of time to get used to the thing.
Draco and Ron were discussing the Quiddtich World Cup when he finally came into the kitchen. He placed a kiss on Draco’s head, and Draco pointed to his teacup and he cradled it to his face.
“Good morning, Harry,” Hermione said. Her voice was cautious and Ron stopped arguing about the quality of the Tutshill Tornados’ Chasers.
“Hey guys.”
“Hey, mate,” Ron said. “How’s the memory?”
“Painful.”
Hermione winced.
“Do you still have a headache?”
“I don’t think that’s what he was talking about,” Hermione said.
Harry smiled and said, “No, Ron, I don’t have a headache anymore. Draco is pretty good at shagging those away.”
“Pretty good?” Draco protested.
Harry laughed and sipped at his tea. He knew Hermione would speak first, so he waited until she dared to.
“Are you coming home?” she asked.
Harry didn't really think she’d start with that one. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“But Harry-”
“He said he hadn’t decided,” Draco said. “Leave it, Granger.”
Hermione glared at him.
“If he doesn’t want to go back, then he won’t. And no one will tell other people where he is. That’s one of his choices.”
Harry smiled at Draco. “It is one of my choices. How many people know I’m here?”
“People know you’re here,” Ron said, “but not that we’ve found you, or that you’ve remembered who you are.”
“Who I was,” Harry muttered.
“So you’re going to stay here with Malfoy?” Hermione demanded.
“Yes,” Harry said. “If I want to.”
“Why?”
Harry put his arm around Draco’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Because Draco didn’t care who I was when I met him here. He knew who I was, of course, he did, but he didn’t shove it in my face. He said hi to me, well … he caught me on a bad night, but he didn’t try to drag me away from a reality that I knew.”
Hermione pursed her lips. “For his own selfish reasons.”
Draco opened his mouth to argue.
Harry held up his hand. “Selfish reasons? You’re blaming Draco right now for being selfish? If I had never started dreaming about things, I never would have remembered anything. I would have been happy and content dating a gorgeous British bloke, and I’m pretty sure Draco would not have minded dating a New York City detective. But you.” Harry stopped and looked at her. "What did you do? You’ve spent six years searching for me.”
“Well, of course, I did!”
“And did you ever stop to think that I didn’t want to be found?”
Hermione said nothing.
“I understand searching for me before you found the chest of documents. I understand that. Because you would have been worried, and afraid that I had died or that someone had kidnapped me. But after. Why did you try to find me after, when I so obviously wanted to just disappear?”
Hermione held his gaze, but again said nothing. Her eyes were wet with tears.
“Don’t call Draco selfish,” Harry continued. “He is, god, he’s selfish, but you are too. I disappeared for a reason.”
“Do you remember why?” Ron asked.
Harry took a deep breath. “Because I was too much of a coward to kill myself.”
“Harry,” Hermione said and blinked and her tears fell.
“I spent my life living it the way other people said, and I took a good long look at myself and I decided, if I had my way, what I would want to do. I like helping people, I like the action of chasing a fugitive, so I knew that I wanted to be in law enforcement, but not as an Auror, because me being an Auror would cause more harm than good. Reporters would make it impossible for me to be undercover and impossible for me to be out in the field. I thought about joining Scotland Yard, but I knew that if I didn’t get out of England, that I’d still be found and hounded. New York City is a great place to be anonymous.”
Harry stopped and had to take a deep breath. He hadn’t remembered any of that until he started talking. He continued, “I love your sister, Ron, but I don’t want to marry her. I never really did want to marry her. But it was expected of me.”
“You’ve been gone for six years, mate,” Ron said. “She married Dean Thomas about four years ago. They have twins boys named Fred and Remus.”
“Good for them,” Harry said and raised his teacup in a toast. “And you two?”
Ron smiled and looked at Hermione. “We aren’t married.”
“Why not?”
“We promised each other we’d be the best man at our weddings, so …”
Hermione nodded. “It didn’t feel right, to get married without you there.”
“We have a baby girl though,” Ron said. “She’s two. Her name is Rose.”
Harry smiled widely. “Really? Congratulations.”
“She’s our world,” Hermione said.
“I’d really like to come and see her.”
“Any time, mate,” Ron said. “You know that.”
“I’ll definitely go back to see her.”
“Permanently?”
Harry looked at Hermione and shook his head. “I don’t know yet, ‘Mione. Maybe. I … I’m a little mad at you right now.”
“Why?”
“Because, like always, you didn’t just leave well enough alone.”
Hermione stood up from the table and squared her shoulders. “And? So what? Maybe it was selfish. Maybe I missed my best friend. Maybe I was worried about you and worried that you were suffering. When Malfoy told us you didn’t recognize him, my heart shattered, but really, it was Malfoy. I knew that you’d recognize me, or Ron, but then he said you didn’t and it …” Hermione took a very deep breath. “Yeah. Maybe it was selfish. But why are you the lucky one, Harry? It’s not fair that you get to forget, and everyone else has to remember. And not only do they have to remember, they have to suffer with your disappearance, too. That hurt a lot of people, and not just the ones that are the closest to you. You may have been okay with never seeing or talking to your friends again, but I wasn’t. And that’s why I kept looking. Friendship. It’d buoyed us up for nine years, and you turned your back on it instead of letting us help you, instead of telling the truth.”
Hermione turned around and left the kitchen. The door to the suite slammed and then there was a muffled crack that echoed around the house.
Ron sighed and stood up. “Sorry, mate, but well, even if she was doing it for herself, she thought of you and other people, too. Just like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You disappeared for yourself, but knowing you, you convinced yourself that it was good for everyone if you just went away. That isn’t true. We love you. And I don’t mean the general public that loves their war hero, but I mean, us. The Weasleys. Hermione, Teddy. Your friends. Everyone put their lives on hold trying to find you, so worried that you’d been killed or abducted. Seeing you here, though, living in this anonymity, I can understand why you did it. I also understand why you’d want to stay here with Malfoy. I understand why you’d both want to stay here. Here or there, I’m just glad you’re safe, and we’re still friends.”
“Always, Ron,” Harry said.
Ron smiled. “I’m going to go talk to Hermione.”
Harry waited until Ron was out the door before sighing deeply. “Hermione is right.”
“Yeah,” Draco said and put his head on Harry’s shoulder. “That stubborn witch usually is. But if you tell her I said that I’ll banish your bollocks.”
Harry chuckled and kissed Draco’s head. “Come on. There’s a lot of shit I have to settle before I can go back to London.”
“You’re going to go back?”
Harry nodded. “Knowing what’s over there … I can’t stay here.”
Draco looked disappointed.
Harry put his teacup down and wrapped his arms around Draco. “And no matter what happens, I want you by my side. Anyone that has a problem with our relationship can bugger themselves.”
“You need to lose the American accent.”
Harry laughed. “I love you, Ferret.”
“I love you, too, Scarhead.”
Epilogue: A Gaggle of Love
Harry was confused when he tumbled out of the Floo and was greeted by silence. No children laughing, none running all over the place. He tried to listen for screams, but the atmosphere was calm, not panicked. Confused, he started walking toward the kitchen. Halfway there, he heard Draco’s voice and paused just outside of the library.
Carefully, he pushed open the door and smiled at what he saw. Draco was sitting in a chair and had two smaller children on his lap. The rest of them, even those that were fifteen and sixteen, were laying on the floor, mesmerized.
Draco was reading them a story. Harry immediately recognized it as Charlotte’s Web, a classic Muggle tale. But of course, there was a little Draco twist.
The images and the characters were moving in vague images above the children, acting out the words as Draco said them, almost like a live, 3D movie. He was about half way through the book, and then he looked up at saw Harry. He smiled widely, and kept reading.
Harry watched, heart almost bursting with love for the man. He was so good with the kids. So good with all of them. And he was so good as the custodian of Harry’s heart. Everything was just as crazy as they all predicted when Harry came back, but doing things on his own terms, instead of others, and actually going to see a Healer about his concerns, made this time around much better than the last.
Draco stopped reading and the images paused in the air.
“What happened next, Mister Draco, what?” a child asked and was echoed by them all.
Draco smirked and waved toward him. “And then Harry Potter showed up and ruined everything.”
The kids looked at the door, and there was the barest of pauses and then half of them were jumping up to say hello to him and give him a hug.
Harry smiled at Draco.
A moment later, a woman was there, shuttling them toward the dining hall for lunch.
“But we want to finish the story!” a child whined.
Draco smiled and said, “Same time tomorrow and we’ll finish it. I promise.”
“Thank you Mister Draco!” the children chorused and they went to get lunch.
One of the children had fallen asleep in Draco’s lap, and he very carefully cradled her while he stood up.
“I’m going to go put this little flower down in her bed,” Draco said.
Harry kissed Draco’s cheek. “Meet in our bed after. The kids will be busy with lunch for an hour.”
Draco smirked. “Propositioning me in front of the children? Shame on you, Potter.”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
“I guess you’ll just have to run upstairs and see what happens.”
Harry cut of his laughter, mindful of the sleeping child. With a smirk, he said, “I found an old Slytherin tie that I thought you might want to put to good use.”
Draco’s eyes flashed and he said, “Or you can put it to good use so we don’t have to wait.”
Harry grinned and said, “I’ll be waiting.”
“I’ll be coming.”
“Already?”
“Go,” Draco all but growled, and Harry laughed and kissed his cheek and practically flew up the stairs to their bedroom on the top floor.
♥♥♥
Part 6: A Flood of Memories
Part 5: A Soul of Confusion
Part 4: A Plethora of Emotions
Part 3: A Night of Questions
Part 2: A Reoccurence of Dreams
Part 1: A Meeting of Equals
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Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: These definitely aren't mine. Characters and the plots of the Harry Potter series are property of JK Rowling.
Summary: Harry Potter is an average New York City cop. A not-so-average blond man and a frustrating case have Harry questioning everything. This fic is not AU, even if the summary makes it sound like it. It falls under the Harry Potter fanfic classification of EWE (epilogue, what epilogue?)
A/N: I have no idea how long ago I started writing it. But well, now it's finished, so ... enjoy.
A/N: Extra special double update for devilaugh before she goes to China
Part 7:
Harry agreed to take another dose of Dreamless Sleep potion. He really needed it. When he woke up, he had no idea what time it was or what day it was, or anything that probably was important. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. His body was pleasantly sore from sex and he smiled while reaching for his glasses. He needed to go get some contacts. Or maybe there was a spell for that. He'd have to ask Draco. The world focused, and Harry reached for his phone.
He had about eighteen missed calls, most from Kat. He checked the time. It almost four the next afternoon. Harry had more or less disappeared for two days.
“Fuck.”
He called Kat’s number.
“Harry, thank god. Where are you?”
Harry yawned. “Sorry. I’ve been at Draco’s.”
“Oh. Everything okay then, since you disappeared for two days?”
“You might say that. He’s a stubborn bloke.”
Kat laughed. “Nice English accent. And I’ll just bet he is.”
Draco wandered into the bedroom. He was wearing linen pants and a white shirt that brushed low on his hips. He frowned at Harry.
“I’m going to assume that you aren’t coming into the station today.”
Harry bit his lip. This was something he did not want to deal with yet. “No, Kat. I need a sabbatical.”
“For how long?”
“I …” He wanted to tell her. He had to tell her. Disappearing again was not an option.
“Harry?”
“I need to you come to Draco’s tonight. Please.”
“Harry,” she said in question, and he heard Draco inhale in protest.
“Please. It’s really important.”
“Okay, what time?”
“Six.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Kat.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I know. I’m okay. I promise.”
Harry ended the call and then met Draco’s eyes.
“You can’t tell her,” Draco said.
“Yes, I can.”
“That’s against the law.”
“That’s rich, coming from you.”
Draco bristled, turned around and left the bedroom.
Harry sighed and forced his body up. He took a shower, and then dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and went to the main room. Draco was in the kitchen, cooking. Everything smelled delicious.
“Figure your friend will be hungry.”
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco’s waist and kissed his neck. “Thank you. You're amazing.”
“It only took you fifteen years to figure that out.”
Harry chuckled. "Actually, it only took me about ten minutes of sex."
Draco smiled.
Harry kissed his cheek before releasing him. With a bit of trepidation, Harry moved to the living room and picked up the box that held his wand. It’d been six years since it was in his hand. Six years.
He opened the case and stared at the piece of wood inside. Eleven inches of holly with a phoenix feather core. A vague memory of his wand being in pieces came to mind. He'd had it fixed. With another wand? Harry wasn't sure. He shook his head.
Rudimentary spells trickled through his memories. With a deep breath, he wrapped his fingers around his wand. Energy twisted up through his fingers and his arm, and a shower of gold sparks shot from the end of it. His wand vibrated and Harry put it down.
“It’s glad to see you,” Draco said.
Harry snorted. “I’m still not sure I’m glad to see it.”
Draco sat next to him and put his arm around him. Harry picked up the wand again, and then said, “Accio” and the pillows on the other couch zoomed over to them.
“That is pretty cool,” Harry said.
Draco laughed. “Yeah, magic can be cool.”
“And deadly.”
Something in the kitchen beeped, and Draco pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek and stood up. Harry went through some of the simpler spells he’d first learned at Hogwarts, and more or less made a mess of Draco’s apartment. A few minutes before six, with the food under a Warming Charm, Draco and Harry cleaned up the mess. He’d accidentally shredded a pillow and feathers had flown everywhere.
Harry put the wand back in the box and sighed.
“You’re not happy.”
Harry shrugged. “I forgot for a reason, Draco. I just … I just wish I remembered why.”
Draco ran his hand over Harry’s cheek. “I think it’s all there. The stress, the press, the deaths, the funerals. Hell, Harry, you couldn’t go to Diagon Alley without an escort of bodyguards.”
“So many people died, and I … I think if I had done something sooner, been faster or stronger or-”
“You’ll tire of hearing this, I’m sure you already did tire of it once, but you did the best you could.”
A soft chime echoed in the room. Draco’s wards, and Draco smiled, held Harry’s hand and went out to meet Kat in the main room. Kat was in her standard skirt suit and she smiled at Harry and then didn’t lose the smile while shaking Draco’s hand.
“You look better than you did the last time I saw you,” Kat said to Harry.
“Yeah, sex and sleep can do wonders for a man’s appearance,” Draco said and winked at her.
Kat laughed. “And he never looked that good when he was sleeping with me. You hang on to this one,” she said, pointing a stern finger at Harry.
“I plan on it.”
Draco led them back to the dining room, and Kat whistled. “This is a gorgeous space, Malfoy.”
“Thanks. I like it. It’s not home, but it does the trick.”
“Are you in the U.S. for good, or do you plan on going back to England soon?”
Draco looked over at Harry. “That depends.”
“Aw, so cute,” Kat said and patted Harry’s cheek.
Harry pulled his head away and laughed. “He’s surprisingly a bit of a sucker for romance.”
Draco served them dinner and Harry listened to Kat talk about the new cases they had and some of the more annoying ones that didn’t have enough evidence.
“Randall is determined to give you all the shittiest cases,” Kat said, “but if you’re going to go on sabbatical, he won’t have a choice but to do them himself.”
Harry set his spoon down, ice cream parfait only half eaten. “About that.”
Kat raised her eyebrows. “Ah, so now we’re going to talk about why I’m really here.”
“She’s a smart one,” Draco said.
“Why do you think she dated me?”
“And broke up with you.”
“Prat,” Harry said and ran a finger over Draco’s jaw.
“You’re quitting,” Kat said. Her voice was neutral. Maybe a little hurt.
“No, Kat, I’m remembering.”
“What?”
Harry wasn’t sure how to tell her. “I told you, that I felt like two people, that these dreams felt like memories. Well, they are memories.”
Kat looked at him and said nothing.
“I do know Draco, I’ve known Draco since I was eleven years old.”
“So you’ve had amnesia or something?”
“Sort of.”
“Harry has never been good at explaining himself,” Draco said. “What he’s dancing around is this. There are two kinds of people who live in this world. Two worlds that live side by side. Muggles and Wizards. We’re wizards.”
“What?” Kat said in disbelief.
“Harry, here, is … well, he’s a bit of a prat. Let me get some more wine.” Draco lifted a hand and a bottle of wine flew to the table.
Kat probably would have fainted if she’d been a weaker woman.
Draco didn’t touch the bottle, but just let it float there and pour the wine and sent the glass to Kat. It dropped to the table gently. Eyeing it, she picked it up and took a swallow.
“Good vintage,” she said.
“It pays to be rich,” Draco said and took a sip of his own wine.
Harry started at the beginning. He told Kat about growing up with the Dursleys, and then turning eleven and then Hogwarts and Draco and Ron and Hermione. He told her about Voldemort and the war and why Draco’s father was in prison. Draco filled in the spaces that Harry couldn’t remember yet.
It was almost eleven when Kat said, “Okay, so why are you here? Why are you a New York City cop?”
“The million Galleon question,” Draco muttered.
Harry took a deep breath. He remembered some of his emotions, and some of the instances that drove him to be here. One of which was the pressure to marry Ginny Weasley. “When your entire life is dictated by others, when you give up your life for so many people and then they just won’t leave you alone, it’s hard to deal with that. They … I … I felt really trapped. I didn’t want to be an Auror. I didn’t want to marry Ginerva Weasley. I didn’t want … I didn’t want the life they wanted. I wanted to be alone. And in their world, I wasn’t able to be alone.”
Draco put his arm around Harry’s shoulders and kissed his cheek.
“I still can’t remember things, especially that close to me wiping my memory.”
Kat was on her fourth glass of wine at this time, but she refused Draco’s offer at a refill. “So I can assume that you are going to quit.”
Harry looked at Draco.
Draco frowned. “What, love?”
“I don’t want to go back.”
Draco inhaled deeply. “Then don’t go back.”
“But …”
“Harry, come on. When you go back, no one is going to leave you alone. You think Granger was bad. The Weasel Mother is going to be ten times worse.”
Harry put his face in his hands. “I know.”
“If you go back,” Kat said, “then it should be on your own terms. Not on everyone else’s. I get that you’re this special person. The Chosen One-”
Draco scoffed.
“-but other people cannot dictate your life. What would you do? No, what do you want to do if you go back?”
Harry leaned into Draco’s body. “The only time I felt really happy was when I was with the children at the orphanage.”
“So do that,” Draco said. “It’s not like you aren’t as rich as I am, back in England anyway. You don’t have to be an Auror.”
Harry took a deep breath.
“It sounds like those kids really do need someone,” Kat said. “You don’t have to be a father to them all, but an older brother sounds like a great idea.”
It really did sound nice. Harry wondered why he hadn't just done that, after the war, and he figured that he’d been too busy trying to make everyone else happy.
After a few more minutes, Kat got up to leave. She agreed to a Secrecy charm and Draco set it. It wouldn't erase her memory of the night, but she wouldn't be able to talk about it and when asked, all she could say is that Harry quit and ran off to England with his British boyfriend.
Kat kissed Harry’s cheek and Draco took her down to the lobby to see that she got into a cab. Harry lay back on the couch, eyes shut. His heart was aching. The feelings of hopelessness, fear and anger weren't his, but they were. He remembered them all, and knew this was just an echo of what he had been feeling when he’d disappeared. He denied his friends’ worries and didn't think he had to talk to anyone. He had been trapped in his own mind, in his own need to not worry anyone and it ate him up.
Harry remembered contemplating killing himself, but he knew that would be horrible for his friends. He knew disappearing would be too, but after a while, their lives would go on.
Obviously they didn't. He needed to talk to Hermione.
Draco sat next to him and put his arm around him. Harry folded himself into Draco’s embrace.
“You don’t want to go back?” Draco whispered a few minutes later.
“Not really.”
“I understand. But I know you. You’ll go back because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do.”
Harry sighed and pushed away.
“Don’t go back for them. Don’t go back for me. Go back for yourself. If you want to stay here, in New York and be a cop, then do that. If you want to live with the children at the orphanage, then do that. Children love with innocence, and you can help them.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, but not right now.” Draco lowered Harry to the couch, and Harry sighed as their lips met. The wine and Draco’s attentions were enough to get him forget, for a few hours anyway.
---/---
Harry loved waking up in Draco’s bed. He loved waking up in his arms, and he loved waking up to the feel of his stiff prick against his ass.
“Morning, love,” Draco whispered.
Harry sighed and lifted he leg. He hooked it over Draco’s hip and Draco moaned. His erection teased Harry’s stretched body, and then with a little guidance, Draco slipped inside him. Harry wrapped his arm around Draco’s neck and turned his head to the side for a deep kiss.
“I think I managed to go all day yesterday without saying that I love you,” Harry whispered.
Draco smiled. “Maybe.”
“It feels …”
“Weird. I know.”
“But the feeling is real. I do love you, Draco. Different circumstances and I would have loved you in school too.”
Draco nodded and they kissed again. “I love you, too.”
Harry’s chest felt like it was constricting. Their tongues twisted together, and Draco’s thrusts sped up. His long fingers curled around Harry’s erection and stroked him in time to the steady movements. Harry loved this. Loved being held on the brink of orgasm until Draco was ready to come too. He never, ever thought he’d find a lover that knew him so well, or knew his body so well.
He broke from the kiss, clamped down around Draco’s erection and pumped out his release onto Draco’s bed. Draco smiled and then shut his eyes. With his face buried in Harry’s neck, he moaned and shuddered and then stilled.
After a few minutes, Harry was dozing again. Draco reluctantly pulled out of him, and whispered a cleaning charm that took care of the mess. Harry liked that spell too.
“The Weasel and Granger are coming over in an hour,” Draco whispered.
Harry sighed.
“I know, but you can get some answers from them.” Draco kissed his cheek and Harry leaned against his body.
“Shower with me?”
“Of course. And then tea and breakfast.”
After their shower, Harry stared at himself in the mirror. Really, really stared. He spent so much time avoiding his reflection, unsure as to why. He lifted the fringe off his forehead and examined the scar that marked him as the Savior. The Chosen One. The Boy Who Would Not Just Bloody Die Already. It wasn't the worst of his scars, and it was one of few that he couldn't even remember receiving. He knew how he got it. But he’d only been a baby. He didn't remember anything else.
Was that so bad? Forgetting?
When he thought of his past, of his real past, there were more things he wished he could forget than things he wanted to remember. His life had been controlled and manipulated since this scar was put on his forehead. Harry didn't want it to dictate the rest of his life, but now that his memories were back, he didn't have much of a choice.
Draco knocked on the door frame and then leaned against it. “The other two thirds of the Golden Trio are here.”
Harry nodded. He had heard the crack of Apparition.
“Brooding, Potter?”
Harry met his eyes in the mirror. “Would you stay here?”
“In the bathroom?”
“In New York.”
Draco waved his hand in a familiar and easy silencing charm. “Make sense.”
Harry sighed and looked back at his reflection. It winked at him, and he looked away. “If I don’t go back, will you stay with me?”
Draco leaned against the sink and crossed his arms. “You shouldn't let your decision rest on that.”
“I know, but I love you.”
Draco smiled and let Harry kiss him. “What do I have in England, except people who hate me and living under the shadow of my father?”
“Your mother.”
“A quick international port key away. But what do you have? What do you have in England?”
“I don’t know. That depends on if you’re there.”
Draco smiled. “We’ll go out there. And we’ll talk to them. But I want you to remember this, Potter. You have no obligations to anyone but yourself. Selfish? Probably. But you've given up enough of your life, first to the Dursleys, and then to the war and now to this other version of you. Live your life. It’s your life. Not theirs.”
Harry nodded. “I know.”
“Go put some clothes on,” Draco said.
“Too bad.”
Draco laughed and walked out of the bathroom.
Harry gave his reflection one more look. It smiled at him and said, “You know he’s right.”
“Draco is always right.”
His reflection nodded, and then stilled. Harry sighed. Magic could be so creepy. He left the bathroom and pulled on a pair of tattered jeans and a t-shirt. The day before, Draco had gone to his apartment and picked up a bunch of his clothes and other things for him. The last thing he did was shove his wand in his pocket. It was taking a lot of time to get used to the thing.
Draco and Ron were discussing the Quiddtich World Cup when he finally came into the kitchen. He placed a kiss on Draco’s head, and Draco pointed to his teacup and he cradled it to his face.
“Good morning, Harry,” Hermione said. Her voice was cautious and Ron stopped arguing about the quality of the Tutshill Tornados’ Chasers.
“Hey guys.”
“Hey, mate,” Ron said. “How’s the memory?”
“Painful.”
Hermione winced.
“Do you still have a headache?”
“I don’t think that’s what he was talking about,” Hermione said.
Harry smiled and said, “No, Ron, I don’t have a headache anymore. Draco is pretty good at shagging those away.”
“Pretty good?” Draco protested.
Harry laughed and sipped at his tea. He knew Hermione would speak first, so he waited until she dared to.
“Are you coming home?” she asked.
Harry didn't really think she’d start with that one. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“But Harry-”
“He said he hadn’t decided,” Draco said. “Leave it, Granger.”
Hermione glared at him.
“If he doesn’t want to go back, then he won’t. And no one will tell other people where he is. That’s one of his choices.”
Harry smiled at Draco. “It is one of my choices. How many people know I’m here?”
“People know you’re here,” Ron said, “but not that we’ve found you, or that you’ve remembered who you are.”
“Who I was,” Harry muttered.
“So you’re going to stay here with Malfoy?” Hermione demanded.
“Yes,” Harry said. “If I want to.”
“Why?”
Harry put his arm around Draco’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Because Draco didn’t care who I was when I met him here. He knew who I was, of course, he did, but he didn’t shove it in my face. He said hi to me, well … he caught me on a bad night, but he didn’t try to drag me away from a reality that I knew.”
Hermione pursed her lips. “For his own selfish reasons.”
Draco opened his mouth to argue.
Harry held up his hand. “Selfish reasons? You’re blaming Draco right now for being selfish? If I had never started dreaming about things, I never would have remembered anything. I would have been happy and content dating a gorgeous British bloke, and I’m pretty sure Draco would not have minded dating a New York City detective. But you.” Harry stopped and looked at her. "What did you do? You’ve spent six years searching for me.”
“Well, of course, I did!”
“And did you ever stop to think that I didn’t want to be found?”
Hermione said nothing.
“I understand searching for me before you found the chest of documents. I understand that. Because you would have been worried, and afraid that I had died or that someone had kidnapped me. But after. Why did you try to find me after, when I so obviously wanted to just disappear?”
Hermione held his gaze, but again said nothing. Her eyes were wet with tears.
“Don’t call Draco selfish,” Harry continued. “He is, god, he’s selfish, but you are too. I disappeared for a reason.”
“Do you remember why?” Ron asked.
Harry took a deep breath. “Because I was too much of a coward to kill myself.”
“Harry,” Hermione said and blinked and her tears fell.
“I spent my life living it the way other people said, and I took a good long look at myself and I decided, if I had my way, what I would want to do. I like helping people, I like the action of chasing a fugitive, so I knew that I wanted to be in law enforcement, but not as an Auror, because me being an Auror would cause more harm than good. Reporters would make it impossible for me to be undercover and impossible for me to be out in the field. I thought about joining Scotland Yard, but I knew that if I didn’t get out of England, that I’d still be found and hounded. New York City is a great place to be anonymous.”
Harry stopped and had to take a deep breath. He hadn’t remembered any of that until he started talking. He continued, “I love your sister, Ron, but I don’t want to marry her. I never really did want to marry her. But it was expected of me.”
“You’ve been gone for six years, mate,” Ron said. “She married Dean Thomas about four years ago. They have twins boys named Fred and Remus.”
“Good for them,” Harry said and raised his teacup in a toast. “And you two?”
Ron smiled and looked at Hermione. “We aren’t married.”
“Why not?”
“We promised each other we’d be the best man at our weddings, so …”
Hermione nodded. “It didn’t feel right, to get married without you there.”
“We have a baby girl though,” Ron said. “She’s two. Her name is Rose.”
Harry smiled widely. “Really? Congratulations.”
“She’s our world,” Hermione said.
“I’d really like to come and see her.”
“Any time, mate,” Ron said. “You know that.”
“I’ll definitely go back to see her.”
“Permanently?”
Harry looked at Hermione and shook his head. “I don’t know yet, ‘Mione. Maybe. I … I’m a little mad at you right now.”
“Why?”
“Because, like always, you didn’t just leave well enough alone.”
Hermione stood up from the table and squared her shoulders. “And? So what? Maybe it was selfish. Maybe I missed my best friend. Maybe I was worried about you and worried that you were suffering. When Malfoy told us you didn’t recognize him, my heart shattered, but really, it was Malfoy. I knew that you’d recognize me, or Ron, but then he said you didn’t and it …” Hermione took a very deep breath. “Yeah. Maybe it was selfish. But why are you the lucky one, Harry? It’s not fair that you get to forget, and everyone else has to remember. And not only do they have to remember, they have to suffer with your disappearance, too. That hurt a lot of people, and not just the ones that are the closest to you. You may have been okay with never seeing or talking to your friends again, but I wasn’t. And that’s why I kept looking. Friendship. It’d buoyed us up for nine years, and you turned your back on it instead of letting us help you, instead of telling the truth.”
Hermione turned around and left the kitchen. The door to the suite slammed and then there was a muffled crack that echoed around the house.
Ron sighed and stood up. “Sorry, mate, but well, even if she was doing it for herself, she thought of you and other people, too. Just like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You disappeared for yourself, but knowing you, you convinced yourself that it was good for everyone if you just went away. That isn’t true. We love you. And I don’t mean the general public that loves their war hero, but I mean, us. The Weasleys. Hermione, Teddy. Your friends. Everyone put their lives on hold trying to find you, so worried that you’d been killed or abducted. Seeing you here, though, living in this anonymity, I can understand why you did it. I also understand why you’d want to stay here with Malfoy. I understand why you’d both want to stay here. Here or there, I’m just glad you’re safe, and we’re still friends.”
“Always, Ron,” Harry said.
Ron smiled. “I’m going to go talk to Hermione.”
Harry waited until Ron was out the door before sighing deeply. “Hermione is right.”
“Yeah,” Draco said and put his head on Harry’s shoulder. “That stubborn witch usually is. But if you tell her I said that I’ll banish your bollocks.”
Harry chuckled and kissed Draco’s head. “Come on. There’s a lot of shit I have to settle before I can go back to London.”
“You’re going to go back?”
Harry nodded. “Knowing what’s over there … I can’t stay here.”
Draco looked disappointed.
Harry put his teacup down and wrapped his arms around Draco. “And no matter what happens, I want you by my side. Anyone that has a problem with our relationship can bugger themselves.”
“You need to lose the American accent.”
Harry laughed. “I love you, Ferret.”
“I love you, too, Scarhead.”
Epilogue: A Gaggle of Love
Harry was confused when he tumbled out of the Floo and was greeted by silence. No children laughing, none running all over the place. He tried to listen for screams, but the atmosphere was calm, not panicked. Confused, he started walking toward the kitchen. Halfway there, he heard Draco’s voice and paused just outside of the library.
Carefully, he pushed open the door and smiled at what he saw. Draco was sitting in a chair and had two smaller children on his lap. The rest of them, even those that were fifteen and sixteen, were laying on the floor, mesmerized.
Draco was reading them a story. Harry immediately recognized it as Charlotte’s Web, a classic Muggle tale. But of course, there was a little Draco twist.
The images and the characters were moving in vague images above the children, acting out the words as Draco said them, almost like a live, 3D movie. He was about half way through the book, and then he looked up at saw Harry. He smiled widely, and kept reading.
Harry watched, heart almost bursting with love for the man. He was so good with the kids. So good with all of them. And he was so good as the custodian of Harry’s heart. Everything was just as crazy as they all predicted when Harry came back, but doing things on his own terms, instead of others, and actually going to see a Healer about his concerns, made this time around much better than the last.
Draco stopped reading and the images paused in the air.
“What happened next, Mister Draco, what?” a child asked and was echoed by them all.
Draco smirked and waved toward him. “And then Harry Potter showed up and ruined everything.”
The kids looked at the door, and there was the barest of pauses and then half of them were jumping up to say hello to him and give him a hug.
Harry smiled at Draco.
A moment later, a woman was there, shuttling them toward the dining hall for lunch.
“But we want to finish the story!” a child whined.
Draco smiled and said, “Same time tomorrow and we’ll finish it. I promise.”
“Thank you Mister Draco!” the children chorused and they went to get lunch.
One of the children had fallen asleep in Draco’s lap, and he very carefully cradled her while he stood up.
“I’m going to go put this little flower down in her bed,” Draco said.
Harry kissed Draco’s cheek. “Meet in our bed after. The kids will be busy with lunch for an hour.”
Draco smirked. “Propositioning me in front of the children? Shame on you, Potter.”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
“I guess you’ll just have to run upstairs and see what happens.”
Harry cut of his laughter, mindful of the sleeping child. With a smirk, he said, “I found an old Slytherin tie that I thought you might want to put to good use.”
Draco’s eyes flashed and he said, “Or you can put it to good use so we don’t have to wait.”
Harry grinned and said, “I’ll be waiting.”
“I’ll be coming.”
“Already?”
“Go,” Draco all but growled, and Harry laughed and kissed his cheek and practically flew up the stairs to their bedroom on the top floor.
♥♥♥
Part 6: A Flood of Memories
Part 5: A Soul of Confusion
Part 4: A Plethora of Emotions
Part 3: A Night of Questions
Part 2: A Reoccurence of Dreams
Part 1: A Meeting of Equals
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