Heartbeat
Title: Heartbeat
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They may make my heart beat, but they aren't mine to claim.
Summary: Yoochun isn't like any other human Jaejoong has had the pleasure of feeding from.
Warning: Vampire
A/N: This is a bday fic for willowwing and haleycp. Yes, I'm making you share it. I don't have time to write two. Sorry! I love you both! ♥
Vampire!Jaejoong
Jaejoong leaned back, elbows on the bar. He sloshed the ice around his glass before taking another swallow of the amber scotch. He watched and waited.
There were plenty of beautiful men in the bar, plenty of prospects for him to chat up, but none of them were what he was looking for. Too many muscles, too much money. These were good fucks, possible boyfriends disguised as businessmen.
He wanted prey.
“Another?” the bar tender asked from behind him.
Jaejoong smirked over his shoulder at the tall, young man. “Thank you, but no.”
He knew the bar tender was a bit confused. Jaejoong had sat at the bar, ordered a drink and did nothing else. Jaejoong was sure the man had seen crazy people before, but someone that said nothing, did nothing, didn’t even tap his feet to the bass thudding through the walls? It was probably a bit unnerving.
Jaejoong pulled his wallet out and gave the man more than his drinks had been worth. “Thank you,” he said and bowed his head.
This bar had looked promising from the outside, but Jaejoong didn’t want to waste anymore time there.
The bar tender thanked him for the tip, and Jaejoong left the confines of four walls and slipped into the night. Winter had a loose grip on the season. The day had been warm, but night still held a chill. Not that the cold bothered Jaejoong anymore. He pulled out a thin metal case and snapped it open. The scent of lavender filled his nose as he chose a slim cigarette. He’d perfected his preferred blend of tobacco over the centuries.
He replaced the case, fingers curling around his lighter in the same, practiced movement. He cupped a hand around the end of the cigarette. The flame flared over his face.
A suggestion of a presence filled him just before a deep voice whispered, “Feel like sharing?”
Jaejoong turned his head, sharp eyes picking out the pale form hidden in the shadows. He leaned against a brick wall, a booted foot up, knee bent. His fingers were shoved into the pockets of his torn jeans. They were tight enough that he couldn’t shove his entire hand in them. He wore a cream top that consisted of layers of torn fabric. It didn’t hide his skinny body, willowy arms. Jaejoong looked at his face last. Round cheeks, plump lips, all surrounded by curly, long hair.
With a smile, Jaejoong handed the lit cigarette to the boy. He didn’t look over twenty. Jaejoong’s heart thumped once in his chest.
“Thank you,” he said, and inhaled. The smoke obscured his features for a moment. “Wow, that’s a good cigarette. Expensive?” he said, voice layered with interest.
“Imported from India.”
“Wow.” He handed the cigarette back.
Jaejoong shook his head. “Keep it. I have more.”
Jaejoong pulled out and lit another cigarette. He blew out the first plume of smoke and said, “Do you feel like sharing?”
The boy smiled around the cigarette in his mouth. “Do you feel like paying?”
“Has anyone else had you tonight?” Jaejoong asked, stepping closer to him.
“Nope, you’re my first customer.”
“I’m your only customer.”
“You can’t-“
“I can.”
The beautiful creature crossed his arms stubbornly. “I make over five hundred a night. I’ll need compensation.”
“I’ll give you a thousand.” Jaejoong smiled and held out his arm. “Walk with me.”
He stared at Jaejoong for a moment. “Yeah, no thanks.” He slipped around Jaejoong and headed down the alley.
Jaejoong followed him easily, amused at his defiance. It was going to be one of those kinds of hunts. He didn’t mind.
“That wasn’t exactly a request,” Jaejoong said.
“How do I know you’ll pay me?”
“Do I look poor?”
“You look like you’re going to leave me half-dead in the next alley.”
Jaejoong smirked and reached into his coat for his wallet. The well-worn leather folded easily as he opened it. He thumbed through the bills, counting out three of the highest ones. He sped up, sneaking up on the boy, and draped his arm around his body. He jumped in surprise.
Jaejoong held out the bills. His heart thumped again. Twice this time.
The boy was holding his breath. He reached up and touched them, probably making sure they were real.
As soon as the boy took the bills, Jaejoong let them go and forcefully extracted himself from the other’s personal space. “There you go. That was worth just the chance of talking with you. Now, walk with me.”
The boy folded the bills into small squares and put them into his front pocket.
He gave Jaejoong one more look of distrust, and then weaved his skinny arm through Jaejoong’s. His heart thumped, strong enough that Jaejoong paused and shut his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Jaejoong led the boy out of the alley, and into the throngs of people (most drunk). He thought of hailing a cab, but decided he wanted to be with this boy for as long as possible.
The glow from the streetlights and neon signs revealed more of the boy’s beauty. His creamy skin shone under the different colored lights. His eyes were rimmed with dark makeup. His cheekbones and chin gave structure to his face that others paid plastic surgeons to perfect.
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“A beautiful thing like you should be worshiped, not harmed.”
“I think you might be crazy.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Probably. What’s your name? And don’t give me some street name. I want to know your real name.”
“That’ll cost you.”
Jaejoong patted the boy’s hand where it was curled at his elbow. “And it’ll be worth it.”
“Yoochun.”
“And how old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
Jaejoong raised a single eyebrow in disbelief, and Yoochun flushed.
“Seventeen,” he muttered, “but I didn’t tell you that.”
Jaejoong smiled at him and then continued walking. Saying nothing, enjoying the warmth from the other’s body. The midnight crowd increased as they passed through the popular clubbing district. Jaejoong held Yoochun closer to his side to keep from being separated. Jaejoong’s heart continued to beat.
“So what’s your name?” Yoochun asked once they were in a more open area again.
“Kim Jaejoong.”
“And how old are you?”
Jaejoong smirked and at him again. “Older than you.”
Yoochun pouted and it took all of Jaejoong’s self control to not duck his head and suck that plump lower lip into his mouth. They continued in silence, and Jaejoong was able to picture them sauntering along the promenade that meandered along the edge of the Seine River, before Paris became what it is today. Maybe he’d take Yoochun to his estate there. Dressed differently, Yoochun would fit perfectly among the beauty of nature and architecture.
Drawing close to his hotel, Jaejoong put his arm around Yoochun’s shoulders. The doorman eyed them, but opened the door, and Jaejoong nodded at him.
“What-“
“Be quiet,” Jaejoong said with a small growl.
Yoochun shivered, and actually stayed quiet. A concierge bowed at them and hit the button to call for an elevator.
“Good evening, Kim Jaejoong-shi.”
“Good evening.”
“Would you like dinner sent up to your suite?”
“No, thank you.”
The elevator door opened, and the man bowed. Jaejoong ushered Yoochun through it, and held his hand out when the man went to join him. “I know what floor I’m on, thank you.”
The elevator door shut.
“Doesn’t it embarrass you to walk through here with a hooker?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled at Yoochun through the mirror. “You’re beautiful, so no.”
The elevator opened before Yoochun could reply. Jaejoong took his hand and led him down the hall to his suite. He let go of Yoochun only long enough to swipe the electronic card and unlock the door. He led Yoochun in, and they removed their shoes.
In the dim light of the entry way, Jaejoong took what he had been staring at all night. He ran cool hands over Yoochun’s warm cheeks, and leaned down and sucked his lower lip into his mouth. He hummed and after a moment kissed Yoochun properly. His heart beat again, and then again when Yoochun reached up and gripped his wrists.
Yoochun’s tongue touched his upper lip, and Jaejoong’s heart actually fluttered. Three short beats.
Smiling, Jaejoong pulled away.
Yoochun was dazed, eyes opening and closing slowly.
“Beautiful,” he said.
A pink tint flushed up his cheeks and down his neck. Jaejoong touched it with a cold finger, and Yoochun shivered.
With a smile, Jaejoong turned and held out his hand and led Yoochun through the elegant suite. “Go shower and make use of one of the complimentary robes.”
“I’m clean,” Yoochun protested and stopped them in the hallway. “I always shower before I go out.”
Jaejoong nodded. “I don’t doubt that. But trust me. This shower is amazing, and if you’re never going to use one so luxurious again, you may as well take advantage of it.”
Yoochun bit that plump lower lip, and Jaejoong moaned and stole another kiss. If he let himself, he’d lose control so easily with this one.
Yoochun’s arms wound around his neck. “Shower with me. It’ll be-”
“No. Go enjoy yourself.”
“Without you? Not fun.”
“We will have fun later. Trust me when I say you will earn your wages.” He gave Yoochun a push down the hall. Yoochun looked back once with a pout, and then disappeared behind a door.
Jaejoong’s heart stopped fluttering and Jaejoong frowned. Jaejoong went back to the hall. He hung his trench coat in the closet, and then headed to the kitchenette. He draped his sport coat over the back of a chair, and then unbuttoned the cuffs on his shirt and rolled them up to his elbows. He wondered what Yoochun would enjoy eating, and decided to stick to Korean food.
Jaejoong had stocked the kitchen in preparation of finding someone like Yoochun. He still wasn’t convinced the boy was exactly what he was looking for, but it was hard to ignore his fluttering heart. It’d been so long since that echoing thump had sounded through his body.
Rice in the cooker. Kimchi, water and pork bubbling in a pan. Added vegetables, a boiled egg.
“No wonder you said you didn’t want dinner sent up.”
Jaejoong turned with a smile and froze.
Yoochun was beautiful. His long hair hung around his face in wet curls. The white robe paled in comparison to his luminous skin. He’d tied the middle, but that left a teasing glimpse of chest, and sculpted collarbones. His pink lips stood out harshly.
In two strides, Jaejoong was next to him, kissing him, arms slipping under the robe, along soft skin, and around his skinny waist.
Yoochun’s hands settled on his chest and then up to his shoulders.
Jaejoong’s heart practically danced in his chest. Yoochun was exactly what he was looking for.
“You’re going to burn dinner,” Yoochun gasped.
“Shit.” Jaejoong let him go and swiftly moved to the stove.
His heart was still beating.
Shaking slightly, Jaejoong reached for bowls and scooped out the kimchi jjigae. Yoochun appeared next to him and took the finished rice from the cooker, and helped take it back to the small table that sat against a window.
Jaejoong opened the curtains and propped the window open.
Yoochun stared out over the view of Seoul, and then pulled the robe around him when a cool breeze blew in.
Jaejoong would have sat next to him to warm him up, but his skin was colder than the air. He reached to shut it.
“It’s okay. I like the breeze.”
“But you’re cold.”
Yoochun smiled and shook his head. “It feels good.”
“Okay, crazy.”
Yoochun raised a single eyebrow. “I’m not sure you have the right to call other people crazy.”
Jaejoong laughed and touched Yoochun’s cheek. “Eat, pabo.”
Yoochun gripped the offered chopsticks and started eating. “Wow. This is good. Spicy, but good.”
“I like to cook.”
“You’re good at it.”
Jaejoong smiled and ate a little himself, even though he didn’t really need it. He ate for the joy of tasting, not for sustenance.
Yoochun ate a lot. When he was done, he rose to help with clean up, but Jaejoong took his plate from him, pressed a kiss to his lips, and said, “Go wait for me.”
“Where?”
“The living room is fine. Watch TV if you’d like.”
“You’re weird.”
Jaejoong smiled. “I have you for the entire night, so there’s no need to rush anything.”
“If you say so.” Yoochun left the small kitchen, and a moment later the television turned on. He changed stations and settled on a music program.
Jaejoong quickly cleaned the kitchen, and left the dishes drying in the sink. He went to the other room and watched Yoochun watch TV. He was smiling and singing along with the group performing. He had a deep singing voice, that melted and dripped along his skin like thick blood. It made it even more tempting to take what he wanted first.
Jaejoong unbuttoned his shirt and left it over the back of a chair. He removed his belt next and then stretched the sleeve of his tank top and pulled it over his head. That fell into a white heap on the darker carpet.
His heart thudded in his chest, and he walked to where Yoochun was lying on the couch, robe open and revealing tempting pale skin. Jaejoong crawled over the arm of the couch. The first kiss landed on Yoochun’s shin, and then up his leg until the robe got in the way. Jaejoong kneeled between Yoochun’s legs and ran his hands up his inner thighs.
Yoochun shivered.
He loosened the tie and spread the robe open, and trailed fingertips over his warm skin. His stomach twitched and caved in.
“You don’t eat enough.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Swallowing doesn’t count.”
Yoochun laughed.
Jaejoong smiled and kept his touches light. His heart hammered in his chest. His eyes clouded over for a moment.
“You look like you’re going to fall over,” Yoochun said.
“I might.” Jaejoong moved his light touches to Yoochun’s arousal. It twitched under the soft treatment, and Jaejoong smiled, leaned over him and kissed him.
Yoochun ran his hands up Jaejoong’s chest. “You’re freezing,” he whispered.
Jaejoong nodded and kissed him again. All of his energy was going to his heart, making it thump and beat in time to their kiss. He would be cold until he fed.
Jaejoong lowered his body and pressed Yoochun into the couch. He moaned and wrapped arms and legs around Jaejoong.
Jaejoong kept his hands on the couch, slightly propped up, enough to leave his lips and run his tongue down the column of Yoochun’s throat. He stopped at the collar bones, licking one and then the other. His breath was icy, leaving the skin pebbled.
“This … what …”
He felt Yoochun’s confusion in his mind and in his thudding heart.
It’d been so many years since his body craved a companion that Jaejoong thought he might be sick suddenly. He pressed his face to Yoochun’s taut neck.
“Jaejoong-shi, s-stop. This …” His panicked hands clawed at Jaejoong’s bare shoulders.
Jaejoong shut his eyes and stopped. But he did not get up.
“Why … what’s wrong?”
“If you wait just a few minutes, you’ll get your answer,” Jaejoong whispered. His mouth was at Yoochun’s ear, and the sweat on his neck turned to ice crystals. Jaejoong licked them up, moaning from the taste of his treat.
Yoochun shivered, this time in fear, and Jaejoong felt it and frowned. He didn’t want Yoochun to be afraid of him.
“You’re scaring me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“But not sorry enough to let me up.”
Jaejoong smiled, felt a fang against his lips and then lifted his head.
Yoochun gasped.
Jaejoong opened his eyes, and everything was tinged blue, and Yoochun struggled underneath him. Jaejoong’s mouth opened, fangs pulsing in time to the rapid beat of his heart.
“Please,” Jaejoong whispered and ran his ice cold hand down Yoochun’s warm body. He cupped Yoochun’s softened cock and rolled it around his hand. “Please, Yoochun-ah. Please.”
Yoochun’s eyes were wide, breathing shallow, and Jaejoong’s body automatically breathed/beat/pulsed in time to it. So much fear.
“It won’t hurt that much,” Jaejoong continued, blabbering, not caring what he said. “Please, just a little. Thirsty, and it hurts. You’re so warm, please. A thousand dollars, remember, just … a thousand. More if you want. Please.”
Yoochun shut his eyes tightly. His fingers burned on his cold skin, and he clenched at Jaejoong’s shoulders. He took a very deep breath, and turned his head to the side.
Jaejoong whimpered and lowered his mouth. His icy breath numbed the surface of the skin. He licked the area over and over. He wasn’t too far gone to really hurt Yoochun, and he was thankful for the control.
“Thank you, Yoochun-ah,” Jaejoong gasped, and then opened his mouth, slid his fangs into Yoochun’s neck and drank.
Yoochun’s body shook beneath him, tightening his grip of arms and legs. Jaejoong pushed a hand behind his back and kept one around his neck, cradling him close while he fed. Blood poured into his throat, the heat warring with the cold. His heart sped up, sucked the offering into his body and twisted it through his limbs.
Yoochun sagged beneath him with a whine, and Jaejoong stopped drinking, again thanking his control. He lapped at the pinpoints on Yoochun’s neck and muttered apologies at him.
Yoochun’s chest rose and fell with heavy breathing, his hands shaking, his eyes fluttering.
“Thank you, Yoochun-ah,” Jaejoong said again.
Invigorated, Jaejoong stood up. He scooped Yoochun into his arms, and Yoochun protested and hit his chest weakly.
“I’m just carrying you to bed, my darling,” Jaejoong said.
Yoochun huffed, and turned his head, burying it into Jaejoong’s now-warm body. Jaejoong carefully kneeled on the bed and put Yoochun in the middle of it. He moved the blankets, and pulled the robe from his body.
Yoochun was not asleep, but not really awake either. A half state of consciousness that always came after a deep feeding. He’d be okay in a few hours. Or at least by morning.
Jaejoong lay next to him, arms around him, face at his neck. Their bodies curled together, and unconsciously, Jaejoong slipped his fangs into Yoochun’s neck again.
Yoochun inhaled sharply, body shaking, and Jaejoong only took a few swallows before pulling away. He nuzzled his nose below Yoochun’s ear and lapped at his skin.
Content. Well-fed.
Jaejoong knew he was smiling like a crazy person.
Jaejoong didn’t know how much time had passed when Yoochun’s body jerked and his hands scrambled for something to hang on to. Jaejoong wove their fingers together, pulling their hands against Yoochun’s chest, still over the blanket.
Yoochun breathed deeply, and then said, “Well. That was unexpected.”
Jaejoong laughed. “Yes, but thank you.”
Yoochun turned to his back, but Jaejoong didn’t move, hovering over him. He ran a hand up and over Yoochun’s neck and face, unable to help himself from touching.
“Now what?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled at him, and Yoochun didn’t stop him when he kissed him. “That’s up to you.”
“Why?”
“I’m not a monster. You don’t have to stay, I don’t need anything else from you.”
Yoochun tilted his head. “And I still get a thousand dollars?”
“Yep.”
“What about tomorrow night? Who gets your money tomorrow night?”
Jaejoong tilted his head and then understood the question. “I don’t need to drink every night, or even every week. You gave me enough to last me a long time.”
“Do you sparkle?”
Jaejoong laughed. “I guess burning is considered a kind of sparkling.”
Yoochun reached up and touched his lips, and Jaejoong opened his mouth, relaxing his lips for Yoochun’s quiet exploration. He didn’t shiver when he touched Jaejoong’s fangs.
Jaejoong wanted to smile. His instincts about people were always right on. He knew Yoochun would be the perfect choice.
“So do I get to have sex with you or not?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong yanked his upper body back and stared at Yoochun incredulously.
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “God, you think the only reason why I went with you was so you could suck on my neck like an overgrown mosquito?”
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t need sex.”
“No one needs sex, hyung.”
With a laugh, Jaejoong lifted his body over Yoochun’s and trapped him under the blanket. With elbows by his face, Jaejoong stole a kiss. “You need to sleep.”
Yoochun tangled his arms around Jaejoong’s neck. “I don’t want to sleep.”
Still smiling, Jaejoong kissed Yoochun while he talked. “I need to rest. After feeding, I’m like a teenager again, and I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression.”
This time Yoochun laughed. “So you’re like a teenager and you come six times instead of just one.”
Jaejoong moaned and rolled his hips over Yoochun’s body. Yoochun’s legs spread under the blanket, and then he tried to lift them. He pouted, almost adorably, and Jaejoong propped up on his feet and hands. Yoochun tugged the blanket to the side and before Jaejoong could fall on top of him again, he unclasped Jaejoong’s dress pants. He slipped his hands into Jaejoong’s boxers and gripped his erection with both hands.
Jaejoong shivered and moaned. His heart (which had settled into a steady beat) sped up again. He thrust his hips into Yoochun’s grip. His body quivered from the strain of holding himself up. Blood swirled through his veins. His vision went blue again, and his elbows collapsed.
“Hm, Jaejoong-hyung,” Yoochun cooed in his ear. “Going to come already?”
Jaejoong nodded, speeding his movements. Yoochun cupped his balls and squeezed the head of his cock all at once, and Jaejoong moaned, breath hot on Yoochun’s neck. Yoochun stretched his head to the side, and since it was offered, Jaejoong slipped his fangs under Yoochun’s skin.
Yoochun moaned and lifted his hips. His hand left for only a moment, and then he had both of their cocks in his hand and that, combined with the fresh blood, and the over eagerness of his bedmate, had Jaejoong coming all over Yoochun’s pale skin. He took one more swallow, and extracted his fangs and fell heavily on top of the boy.
Yoochun hummed in amusement. His finger trailed over Jaejoong’s back in nonsensical patterns.
“So how old are you? Really?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong thought about the question, thought about lying, and then pulled away and lay snuggled against Yoochun’s side.
“Four hundred and twenty two.”
“Wow. Dare I ask how many vampires there are walking around the streets of Seoul?”
Jaejoong grinned. “Not a lot. Maybe fifty. If there were more, we wouldn’t be able to stay hidden.”
Jaejoong leaned down and lapped at the blossoming bruise on Yoochun’s neck.
Yoochun shivered and laughed. “Hyung, that tickles.”
Jaejoong smiled. He loved how easily Yoochun accepted this, how comfortable he was with a mythical creature on top of him.
Then again, Yoochun was a hooker. Jaejoong was sure he had to play the part to get as much money as he could. But Jaejoong trusted his instincts.
“I have a proposition for you,” Jaejoong said, kissing his neck and collarbones again.
“Hm, you’re going to make me come? Okay.”
Jaejoong chuckled. He ran his hand down Yoochun’s body, through his come and gripped his erection. He stroked lightly, and Yoochun squirmed under him. “I will make you come, today, tomorrow, next week, next month.”
Yoochun’s eyes flew open.
Jaejoong grinned. With Yoochun’s blood in his body, it was so easy to feel his emotions.
“What?”
“Every fifty years or so, I have a sudden urge to have something to play with. Something to dress up and show off to other people.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes.
“I’m not asking you to fall hopelessly in love with me,” Jaejoong said. “I’ve been alive too long to believe in love. But you’re beautiful, and it’ll make the others jealous.”
“You really are crazy.”
“Maybe. Think about it.”
“I’m not going to agree until I know what I’m getting into. I mean, really. You say you’re hundreds of years old, but you just came in about two minutes. I’m not setting myself up for a lifetime of disappointment.”
Jaejoong tittered at him and slid his fangs under Yoochun’s skin again.
---v-v--- Ten Years Later ---v-v---
“I’m setting up a house for you, and-“
Yoochun made a noise of protest.
Jaejoong met his eyes. “Would you prefer an apartment?”
Yoochun’s beautiful dark eyes narrowed. “You’re kicking me out?”
“No. I’m setting up-“
“You’re kicking me out. You don’t want me here anymore.”
“No, but we had a deal,” Jaejoong said. “And now it’s over.”
The beautiful man standing before him glared, hands balled up in fists.
“You have more than enough to keep you and whoever you choose comfortable for the rest of your life. Do you want a house or an apartment?”
Yoochun said nothing.
Jaejoong pondered him, let his gaze sweep over his body. Yoochun had grown up and grown even more beautiful over the last ten years. His long hair was pulled back in a queue, the ends brushing between his shoulder blades. His structured face was set in irritation now, but Jaejoong liked it most when he smiled. The Armani suit complimented his shoulders, the sport coat showed off his tiny waist. The top three buttons of the blue shirt under it were unbuttoned, giving Jaejoong teasing glimpses of his collarbones. His skin was still as pale as it ever had been. Except for the latest bite mark on his neck.
Yoochun was definitely the most beautiful of Jaejoong’s humans. The only human he’d kept for so long. And his heart still beat when they were close.
Finally, after a long time of glaring, Yoochun said, “I’m comfortable here.”
Jaejoong frowned and held out his hand, but Yoochun did not move. “Come on, Yoochun. Business deal. Remember.”
“I remember,” he said, voice breaking. “You really are incapable of love.”
Jaejoong tilted his head at the sudden change in topic. “Incapable? That makes it sound like love is a real thing.”
Yoochun snorted. “You’ve been alive too long to believe in love.”
“Yes,” Jaejoong said carefully, wondering why his words were being parroted back at him.
“Then you’re the lucky one,” Yoochun said, and turned around.
“Wait, Yoochun-ah. What are you talking about?”
Yoochun shook his head, ponytail swaying on his back. Jaejoong stood up, and used his vampire speed to stop Yoochun from leaving his office. He snaked one arm around Yoochun’s waist, unbuttoning the sport coat, and let the other one trail up to his hair. He loosened the leather tie.
Yoochun was shaking in his arms.
Jaejoong kissed his cheek and then his neck.
Yoochun gripped his arm tightly. “Please let me go.”
Jaejoong paused at the voice devoid of emotion.
“Please let me go, Jaejoong-shi.”
Surprised at the formality, Jaejoong let him go. Yoochun left the office, but Jaejoong followed after him.
“I’m trying to do right by you,” Jaejoong said to his back.
Yoochun did not reply and led them through the main hall and then up the stairs.
“I understand that you don’t want to go, but you’ll have a house and servants and-“
“You understand shit,” Yoochun snapped and stopped on a stair. He turned around. “You think that’s important to me?”
Jaejoong tilted his head, looking up at him. “Yoochun-ah-”
“I don’t want your fucking money, and I don’t want fucking servants, and I don’t want five thousand dollar suits.”
Yoochun headed back up the stairs, leaving Jaejoong gaping at him. It took Jaejoong a few seconds to realize his heart was fluttering, and then he bounded up the stairs and to Yoochun’s room.
The Armani suit was on the floor.
The only mar on his pale skin was the dark purple bruise on his neck. The one Jaejoong had left the night before from feeding.
Yoochun’s skinny body disappeared into a pair of tight jeans. No boxers. Denim on skin.
Jaejoong licked his lips and then shook his head, pushing the lust aside. “Yoochun-“
Yoochun shut him up with a glare and then went into his closet. Jaejoong stayed where he was. Yoochun returned with arms full of clothes and he shoved them into a duffle bag. He went into the bathroom and returned with shampoo and not much else. He zipped the bag shut.
“Yoochun, what are you doing?”
The last thing Yoochun grabbed was a jacket. He zipped it up, and then stood there for a moment, staring at the bed.
With a tiny gasp, Yoochun latched onto the white bear that never left his bed and shoved it violently into the bag. Jaejoong had given him the bear years ago. It’d come with a bouquet of white roses. He never really understood why Yoochun had kept it.
He took a few deep breaths, calming, and then turned to Jaejoong. “You owe me a thousand dollars.”
“W-what? Yoochun.”
“You owe me a thousand dollars,” he repeated.
Jaejoong crossed his arms. “I’m sure you have more than that in your bank account.”
“That isn’t my bank account. I want it now. In cash, and then-“ He broke off, unable to say anything else.
Jaejoong reached for him and Yoochun jerked himself back. “What are you going to do? Sell yourself again?”
“Again?” Yoochun said. “What have I been doing for the last ten years?”
Jaejoong bit his lip. “You aren’t a whore.”
“Then this hasn’t been just a business deal.”
“Yoochun-ah.”
“Fuck off, hyung. Just give me my money and I’ll get out of your way and you never have to see me again. Isn’t that what you want?”
Jaejoong said nothing. Even alive this long and he had no idea what going on.
Yoochun scoffed. “Fine. I’ll go withdraw a thousand dollars since you don’t seem to be getting it.”
Yoochun walked past him, and Jaejoong grabbed his arm. His heart thumped.
“Chun-“
“Look, hyung, I get it. You’re done with me. Fine. Bye. See you later. Or not later. Whatever. It’s been fun, so yeah-“
Jaejoong put his hand over Yoochun’s mouth, not caring when the other struggled and bit him. “I’m trying to take care of you, and think about-“
Yoochun kicked his shin and Jaejoong let him go with a gasp, and Yoochun stumbled and fell to one knee, hand on the floor. His breathing echoed in the room.
“Not believing in love must be nice,” Yoochun whispered. “No pain. No heartbreak.”
Jaejoong stared at him, still unsure what the concept of love had to do with anything.
“Nothing but a business deal.” Yoochun forced himself up, and brushed by Jaejoong again. His hair hid his face, but not so much that Jaejoong hadn’t seen the tear on his cheek.
He’d never seen Yoochun cry.
He stood, frozen and then scrambled after him, this time going down the stairs, shouting at him to wait a minute.
Yoochun did not.
The servant at the door, bowed and opened it as Yoochun walked through, and he was halfway down the main drive, before Jaejoong caught up with him. His skin glowed in the moonlight.
Jaejoong snagged the bag and jerked Yoochun to a stop.
Tears glistened on his cheeks, and even through Yoochun tried to pull away, Jaejoong wiped them away with cool fingers. Jaejoong’s heart beat strongly in his chest, echoing panic and concern.
“Let me go.”
“Let me explain.”
“You’ve said enough.”
“No, I haven’t.”
Yoochun jerked away and kept walking. Jaejoong fell into step next to him. He reached for his hand and Yoochun moved away from him.
“Normally I keep humans around for only a couple years.”
Yoochun snorted. “Yay. I’m special.”
“You are. I’ll miss you.”
Yoochun shut his eyes and then rubbed his hands over them. “Hyung, shut up. You’re not making this any easier.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Obviously, but that’s because you don’t believe in love, and since you-“
“Where are you going to go?”
“Doesn’t matter. Away from you, away from this. Back to what I deserve.”
“I need you to stop and explain this to me.”
“If I have to explain it, then it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
Jaejoong tried to take his elbow, and Yoochun’s hand shot up and slashed over his cheek. Jaejoong stopped. He’d seen the smack, could have stopped it, but was so surprised that he hadn’t.
“Leave me alone.” Yoochun walked away from him. Again.
The boy had always been a bit of a rebel. Sarcastic, but funny. Jaejoong was going to miss him.
“Chunnie-ah.” Jaejoong hurried after him, and walked next to him. They left the driveway through the small iron gate, and Yoochun walked ahead of him on the sidewalk.
Jaejoong didn’t know what to say to make Yoochun understand, so he talked and hoped Yoochun was listening.
“This is for the best, you know,” Jaejoong said. “You have your entire life ahead of you. You’re still young and attractive, and you can find someone to live with and settle down with and have a family. I don’t get to have that. I don’t get that because of what I am. I’m destined to live forever. You aren’t. You’re going to grow old and die like all humans.”
“The point of life, as you just said, is to find someone to live with and settle down with. I found my someone, even if he’s stupid. I won’t find someone else.”
Jaejoong sighed. “I can’t grow old with you.”
“So what?”
“So … do you …” Jaejoong stopped walking and said to Yoochun’s retreating figure. “I don’t want to watch you die.”
“Then turn me into-“ Yoochun cut off what he was going to say. They weren’t alone on the streets.
“No.”
Yoochun turned and they watched each other from afar. He was still crying. Jaejoong wanted to hug him.
“May I ask you something?” Yoochun said and walked toward him.
Jaejoong nodded.
“Is this all just because you don’t want to watch me die?” Yoochun was less than three feet from him and Jaejoong’s heart thumped.
Jaejoong tilted his head in question. “What do you mean?”
“It was a simple question.”
Jaejoong didn’t say anything, trying to work out the elements of the question. It didn’t seem like it was a simple question.
“God, you’re kind of stupid for someone who is almost five hundred years old.”
“Do you know how many humans I’ve watched die in five hundred years?”
Yoochun said nothing.
“It’s painful,” Jaejoong whispered.
“So instead of feeling that pain, you distance yourself.”
Jaejoong met his eyes.
Yoochun stepped into him, and lifted his hand, placing it on his chest. “Do I still make your heartbeat?”
Jaejoong’s throat closed up and he nodded.
Yoochun bit his lower lip. “Good. Maybe when it stops, you’ll understand what I’m feeling.”
“Yoochun-ah.”
Yoochun shook his head. “The only reason I know that you haven’t ripped my heart out is that it hurts.” His next words were cut off with a sob and he turned quickly and walked away.
“Yoochun!”
“Fuck you, Jaejoong-shi,” Yoochun said, using the most polite and deferential forms.
Jaejoong chuckled and caught up with him again. “If you’re going to leave, then let me help you.”
“If?” Yoochun said. “I have a choice now.”
“What?”
“If, you said, if I’m going to leave. I’m not leaving. You’re kicking me out.”
“Let me help.”
“Once again, fuck you.”
Jaejoong sighed. “I want you to be well taken care of.”
“I want you to go fuck yourself.”
Jaejoong growled and pushed him into the wall. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
“In the last ten years, I’ve only felt like a whore twice,” Yoochun said. “Twice. The morning after our first night together, and right now. Okay, and that one time with your vampire friend Siwon, but that was amazing sex, so it doesn’t really count.”
Jaejoong smiled. “You aren’t a whore.”
“Yes, I am. I’ve just had the same customer for the last ten years. Let me go, please.”
“Are you going to sell yourself?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“So? Whatever I choose to do or not do is no longer of your concern. Our business deal is over.”
“But I care about you.”
“Funny. Could have fooled me.” He turned his head away again, choking up. His eyes shut, and tears dripped down his cheeks.
“You’re being stubborn.”
“Pot, kettle,” Yoochun bit out. “And I’m not. You are. You said it was time for me to leave, and I’m leaving.”
“Not like this.”
“Doesn’t matter how I leave. It’s going to hurt either way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh my god, really? I fucking love you, you overgrown mosquito. I love you, and you don’t love me. You think I want to live in a house and live with servants, and know that everything I have is from you. But I can’t have you because you can’t … no, because you won’t love me? You think I want to be reminded of you every single day, every moment of my life?”
“Yoo-“
“Just let me go, hyung,” Yoochun whispered, not bothering to try to hide the emotions in his voice.
Jaejoong stepped back and Yoochun slipped away from him.
Yoochun loved him. Well, that explained a lot.
Jaejoong sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Part of what Yoochun said was true. He didn’t want to go through the pain of watching Yoochun grow old and die.
Do I still make your heart beat?
Yoochun had been the only human that made his heart beat after the first couple of years.
He was still in sight, a few blocks ahead. All he had to do was turn a corner, and then another, and Jaejoong would lose him.
Never see him again.
The gravity of the situation hit him.
He would never, ever see Yoochun again. His heart thumped and then stilled. He’d survive. Of course he would. He’d live and watch people grow old around him. He’d find another human in a few years.
And what about Yoochun?
Yoochun would be a memory, and at this point, a painful memory. He did not want Yoochun to be a painful memory.
Jaejoong wasn’t sure how to fix this, but leaving it like this wasn’t an option.
Once again, he ran after Yoochun. He caught up to him, and threw him against a brick wall. Yoochun’s breath left him in a rush. Jaejoong heart beat once and then stilled, but that was enough to let relief flood him.
“Fuck, hyung, leave me alone.”
“No. I don’t want you to go. Not like this.”
“It hurts anyway.”
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah, it does.”
“I don’t understand you,” Yoochun said. “I’m leaving. Just let me leave.”
“Let me-”
“No. God. You’re making this worse. Stop acting like you love me, okay?”
“I care about you.”
“I don’t care. If you don’t love me, then nothing else matters.”
Jaejoong pulled their bodies together and hugged him tightly. The bag fell to the ground. Yoochun struggled for only a moment, and then curled against him, clutched his shirt into his hands and cried.
Jaejoong did not want to tell Yoochun he loved him. He knew that was a lie. Love was a lie. He tilted Yoochun’s face up and wiped at his tears.
“I don’t want your pity,” Yoochun said, half-heartedly scowling at him.
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have let you go years ago. This is my fault.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Jaejoong thought about that. “I lost myself with you.”
“What do you mean?”
The urgency in his voice made Jaejoong pause in his answer. What did he mean?
“I like being with you,” Jaejoong said. “I like … I like you, and it’s easy to be with you.”
Yoochun crossed his arms and leaned away from him. Jaejoong let him, and they stared at each other. Yoochun’s tears dried and he stood there, foot propped up on the wall, much like the first night they had met.
“Time doesn’t matter much when you’re with me,” Jaejoong finally said. “I hadn’t even realized how long we’d been together until your last birthday.”
Yoochun looked away, biting his lower lip. On his last birthday, Jaejoong had made him dinner and they’d eaten alone, in Jaejoong’s room, on a blanket on the floor. A lot of the food had been eaten off their skin. They’d had sex again and again and fell asleep on the floor, woken up wrapped around each other and still joined.
Jaejoong had been happy when he woke up wrapped around Yoochun.
And now he’d never have that again.
“You have two options, hyung,” Yoochun said. “Let me go, or keep me. Don’t come after me. Don’t try to put me up in a house and make me feel like a hooker for the rest of my life. Just let me go.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Yoochun tilted his head and stared at him. “That should be obvious. But it doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is what you want.”
They were silent again, and Yoochun lifted his hand and pressed it against Jaejoong’s chest, over his beating heart.
“Biology makes my heart beat,” Yoochun said. “But you … you make my heart race, you make it pound, and you make it pulse. And sometimes, when you kiss me, you make it flutter and stop, and sometimes it swells so much when I’m with you that I think it might burst.”
Jaejoong swallowed. His heart sped up. He covered Yoochun’s hand with his own and wondered what it would be like to feel all those things. He felt some of them, like the fluttering and the pulsing. But not for the same reasons Yoochun did. No matter what he said, Yoochun’s reactions were all about the physical biology in the human body.
Jaejoong’s heart reacted to Yoochun.
If whether Jaejoong lived or died depended on whether his heart beat or not, he’d never let Yoochun out of his sight.
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t understand that.”
Yoochun nodded. “You don’t understand love then. It isn’t that it doesn’t exist. You just don’t get it. Maybe you are incapable of feeling love. It’s ingrained in the heart, it’s ingrained in the way my body reacts when I’m with you. But even if you can’t feel it as strongly as I do, a little is better than none.”
Jaejoong frowned.
“Having your heart beat is better than not having it beat,” Yoochun clarified.
Now that was true. Jaejoong had definitely grown used to having his heart beating.
Yoochun reached up and touched Jaejoong’s cool cheek. Jaejoong shut his eyes under the touch, fingers tightening on Yoochun’s hand.
Yoochun inhaled deeply and then leaned forward and pressed their lips together.
Jaejoong’s heart thumped twice and then fluttered. He shut his eyes with a breath of relief.
“I felt that,” Yoochun said against his lips. “That’s what it always feels like when you kiss me.”
Jaejoong gripped his wrist and kissed him again.
“You don’t really want me to go, right, hyung? You don’t. Right?”
Jaejoong shook his head. “No. Of course not.”
“Good.”
“But-”
“No,” Yoochun said and sucked Jaejoong’s lower lip into his mouth. For a moment. He let it go with a wet smack. “No. You don’t want me to go, I don’t want to go. Done, end, that’s it. I’m not going.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Okay.”
“Make me another deal.”
“What?”
“You can’t love me, I understand that. But because you can’t love me, that hurts. That … I just … I want you to love me, but you can’t. And that’s painful. So here’s the deal. You let me love you, and then later, after … you have to watch me die.”
Jaejoong swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t want to watch you die.”
“I don’t want to love you without you loving me. Trust me when I say it’s just as painful.”
Jaejoong pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “Okay, but don’t die too soon.”
Yoochun smiled and kissed him. “You either.”
Their tongues touched, and Yoochun moaned, settling against the wall behind them. Jaejoong’s hands wrapped around waist, holding him tightly. Yoochun slid his hand up and tangled them in Jaejoong’s hair. Their kiss deepened, and Jaejoong’s head went light.
Normally that only happened when he needed to feed.
Yoochun broke away with a gasp. “It’s been … a long time … since a man pressed me up against a brick wall in the middle of the city.”
Jaejoong smiled and peppered his lips in kisses. “We should go out more.”
Yoochun laughed.
Jaejoong hugged him tightly and licked at the bruise on his neck. “Yoochun-ah?”
“Hm?”
“All humans make my heart beat, but never for this long, never so strongly or so much. Except for you. You make my heart beat.” Jaejoong wasn’t sure why he needed to say that.
Yoochun smiled and made him look at him again. “You make my heart beat, too.”
.
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They may make my heart beat, but they aren't mine to claim.
Summary: Yoochun isn't like any other human Jaejoong has had the pleasure of feeding from.
Warning: Vampire
A/N: This is a bday fic for willowwing and haleycp. Yes, I'm making you share it. I don't have time to write two. Sorry! I love you both! ♥
Vampire!Jaejoong
Jaejoong leaned back, elbows on the bar. He sloshed the ice around his glass before taking another swallow of the amber scotch. He watched and waited.
There were plenty of beautiful men in the bar, plenty of prospects for him to chat up, but none of them were what he was looking for. Too many muscles, too much money. These were good fucks, possible boyfriends disguised as businessmen.
He wanted prey.
“Another?” the bar tender asked from behind him.
Jaejoong smirked over his shoulder at the tall, young man. “Thank you, but no.”
He knew the bar tender was a bit confused. Jaejoong had sat at the bar, ordered a drink and did nothing else. Jaejoong was sure the man had seen crazy people before, but someone that said nothing, did nothing, didn’t even tap his feet to the bass thudding through the walls? It was probably a bit unnerving.
Jaejoong pulled his wallet out and gave the man more than his drinks had been worth. “Thank you,” he said and bowed his head.
This bar had looked promising from the outside, but Jaejoong didn’t want to waste anymore time there.
The bar tender thanked him for the tip, and Jaejoong left the confines of four walls and slipped into the night. Winter had a loose grip on the season. The day had been warm, but night still held a chill. Not that the cold bothered Jaejoong anymore. He pulled out a thin metal case and snapped it open. The scent of lavender filled his nose as he chose a slim cigarette. He’d perfected his preferred blend of tobacco over the centuries.
He replaced the case, fingers curling around his lighter in the same, practiced movement. He cupped a hand around the end of the cigarette. The flame flared over his face.
A suggestion of a presence filled him just before a deep voice whispered, “Feel like sharing?”
Jaejoong turned his head, sharp eyes picking out the pale form hidden in the shadows. He leaned against a brick wall, a booted foot up, knee bent. His fingers were shoved into the pockets of his torn jeans. They were tight enough that he couldn’t shove his entire hand in them. He wore a cream top that consisted of layers of torn fabric. It didn’t hide his skinny body, willowy arms. Jaejoong looked at his face last. Round cheeks, plump lips, all surrounded by curly, long hair.
With a smile, Jaejoong handed the lit cigarette to the boy. He didn’t look over twenty. Jaejoong’s heart thumped once in his chest.
“Thank you,” he said, and inhaled. The smoke obscured his features for a moment. “Wow, that’s a good cigarette. Expensive?” he said, voice layered with interest.
“Imported from India.”
“Wow.” He handed the cigarette back.
Jaejoong shook his head. “Keep it. I have more.”
Jaejoong pulled out and lit another cigarette. He blew out the first plume of smoke and said, “Do you feel like sharing?”
The boy smiled around the cigarette in his mouth. “Do you feel like paying?”
“Has anyone else had you tonight?” Jaejoong asked, stepping closer to him.
“Nope, you’re my first customer.”
“I’m your only customer.”
“You can’t-“
“I can.”
The beautiful creature crossed his arms stubbornly. “I make over five hundred a night. I’ll need compensation.”
“I’ll give you a thousand.” Jaejoong smiled and held out his arm. “Walk with me.”
He stared at Jaejoong for a moment. “Yeah, no thanks.” He slipped around Jaejoong and headed down the alley.
Jaejoong followed him easily, amused at his defiance. It was going to be one of those kinds of hunts. He didn’t mind.
“That wasn’t exactly a request,” Jaejoong said.
“How do I know you’ll pay me?”
“Do I look poor?”
“You look like you’re going to leave me half-dead in the next alley.”
Jaejoong smirked and reached into his coat for his wallet. The well-worn leather folded easily as he opened it. He thumbed through the bills, counting out three of the highest ones. He sped up, sneaking up on the boy, and draped his arm around his body. He jumped in surprise.
Jaejoong held out the bills. His heart thumped again. Twice this time.
The boy was holding his breath. He reached up and touched them, probably making sure they were real.
As soon as the boy took the bills, Jaejoong let them go and forcefully extracted himself from the other’s personal space. “There you go. That was worth just the chance of talking with you. Now, walk with me.”
The boy folded the bills into small squares and put them into his front pocket.
He gave Jaejoong one more look of distrust, and then weaved his skinny arm through Jaejoong’s. His heart thumped, strong enough that Jaejoong paused and shut his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Jaejoong led the boy out of the alley, and into the throngs of people (most drunk). He thought of hailing a cab, but decided he wanted to be with this boy for as long as possible.
The glow from the streetlights and neon signs revealed more of the boy’s beauty. His creamy skin shone under the different colored lights. His eyes were rimmed with dark makeup. His cheekbones and chin gave structure to his face that others paid plastic surgeons to perfect.
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“A beautiful thing like you should be worshiped, not harmed.”
“I think you might be crazy.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Probably. What’s your name? And don’t give me some street name. I want to know your real name.”
“That’ll cost you.”
Jaejoong patted the boy’s hand where it was curled at his elbow. “And it’ll be worth it.”
“Yoochun.”
“And how old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
Jaejoong raised a single eyebrow in disbelief, and Yoochun flushed.
“Seventeen,” he muttered, “but I didn’t tell you that.”
Jaejoong smiled at him and then continued walking. Saying nothing, enjoying the warmth from the other’s body. The midnight crowd increased as they passed through the popular clubbing district. Jaejoong held Yoochun closer to his side to keep from being separated. Jaejoong’s heart continued to beat.
“So what’s your name?” Yoochun asked once they were in a more open area again.
“Kim Jaejoong.”
“And how old are you?”
Jaejoong smirked and at him again. “Older than you.”
Yoochun pouted and it took all of Jaejoong’s self control to not duck his head and suck that plump lower lip into his mouth. They continued in silence, and Jaejoong was able to picture them sauntering along the promenade that meandered along the edge of the Seine River, before Paris became what it is today. Maybe he’d take Yoochun to his estate there. Dressed differently, Yoochun would fit perfectly among the beauty of nature and architecture.
Drawing close to his hotel, Jaejoong put his arm around Yoochun’s shoulders. The doorman eyed them, but opened the door, and Jaejoong nodded at him.
“What-“
“Be quiet,” Jaejoong said with a small growl.
Yoochun shivered, and actually stayed quiet. A concierge bowed at them and hit the button to call for an elevator.
“Good evening, Kim Jaejoong-shi.”
“Good evening.”
“Would you like dinner sent up to your suite?”
“No, thank you.”
The elevator door opened, and the man bowed. Jaejoong ushered Yoochun through it, and held his hand out when the man went to join him. “I know what floor I’m on, thank you.”
The elevator door shut.
“Doesn’t it embarrass you to walk through here with a hooker?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled at Yoochun through the mirror. “You’re beautiful, so no.”
The elevator opened before Yoochun could reply. Jaejoong took his hand and led him down the hall to his suite. He let go of Yoochun only long enough to swipe the electronic card and unlock the door. He led Yoochun in, and they removed their shoes.
In the dim light of the entry way, Jaejoong took what he had been staring at all night. He ran cool hands over Yoochun’s warm cheeks, and leaned down and sucked his lower lip into his mouth. He hummed and after a moment kissed Yoochun properly. His heart beat again, and then again when Yoochun reached up and gripped his wrists.
Yoochun’s tongue touched his upper lip, and Jaejoong’s heart actually fluttered. Three short beats.
Smiling, Jaejoong pulled away.
Yoochun was dazed, eyes opening and closing slowly.
“Beautiful,” he said.
A pink tint flushed up his cheeks and down his neck. Jaejoong touched it with a cold finger, and Yoochun shivered.
With a smile, Jaejoong turned and held out his hand and led Yoochun through the elegant suite. “Go shower and make use of one of the complimentary robes.”
“I’m clean,” Yoochun protested and stopped them in the hallway. “I always shower before I go out.”
Jaejoong nodded. “I don’t doubt that. But trust me. This shower is amazing, and if you’re never going to use one so luxurious again, you may as well take advantage of it.”
Yoochun bit that plump lower lip, and Jaejoong moaned and stole another kiss. If he let himself, he’d lose control so easily with this one.
Yoochun’s arms wound around his neck. “Shower with me. It’ll be-”
“No. Go enjoy yourself.”
“Without you? Not fun.”
“We will have fun later. Trust me when I say you will earn your wages.” He gave Yoochun a push down the hall. Yoochun looked back once with a pout, and then disappeared behind a door.
Jaejoong’s heart stopped fluttering and Jaejoong frowned. Jaejoong went back to the hall. He hung his trench coat in the closet, and then headed to the kitchenette. He draped his sport coat over the back of a chair, and then unbuttoned the cuffs on his shirt and rolled them up to his elbows. He wondered what Yoochun would enjoy eating, and decided to stick to Korean food.
Jaejoong had stocked the kitchen in preparation of finding someone like Yoochun. He still wasn’t convinced the boy was exactly what he was looking for, but it was hard to ignore his fluttering heart. It’d been so long since that echoing thump had sounded through his body.
Rice in the cooker. Kimchi, water and pork bubbling in a pan. Added vegetables, a boiled egg.
“No wonder you said you didn’t want dinner sent up.”
Jaejoong turned with a smile and froze.
Yoochun was beautiful. His long hair hung around his face in wet curls. The white robe paled in comparison to his luminous skin. He’d tied the middle, but that left a teasing glimpse of chest, and sculpted collarbones. His pink lips stood out harshly.
In two strides, Jaejoong was next to him, kissing him, arms slipping under the robe, along soft skin, and around his skinny waist.
Yoochun’s hands settled on his chest and then up to his shoulders.
Jaejoong’s heart practically danced in his chest. Yoochun was exactly what he was looking for.
“You’re going to burn dinner,” Yoochun gasped.
“Shit.” Jaejoong let him go and swiftly moved to the stove.
His heart was still beating.
Shaking slightly, Jaejoong reached for bowls and scooped out the kimchi jjigae. Yoochun appeared next to him and took the finished rice from the cooker, and helped take it back to the small table that sat against a window.
Jaejoong opened the curtains and propped the window open.
Yoochun stared out over the view of Seoul, and then pulled the robe around him when a cool breeze blew in.
Jaejoong would have sat next to him to warm him up, but his skin was colder than the air. He reached to shut it.
“It’s okay. I like the breeze.”
“But you’re cold.”
Yoochun smiled and shook his head. “It feels good.”
“Okay, crazy.”
Yoochun raised a single eyebrow. “I’m not sure you have the right to call other people crazy.”
Jaejoong laughed and touched Yoochun’s cheek. “Eat, pabo.”
Yoochun gripped the offered chopsticks and started eating. “Wow. This is good. Spicy, but good.”
“I like to cook.”
“You’re good at it.”
Jaejoong smiled and ate a little himself, even though he didn’t really need it. He ate for the joy of tasting, not for sustenance.
Yoochun ate a lot. When he was done, he rose to help with clean up, but Jaejoong took his plate from him, pressed a kiss to his lips, and said, “Go wait for me.”
“Where?”
“The living room is fine. Watch TV if you’d like.”
“You’re weird.”
Jaejoong smiled. “I have you for the entire night, so there’s no need to rush anything.”
“If you say so.” Yoochun left the small kitchen, and a moment later the television turned on. He changed stations and settled on a music program.
Jaejoong quickly cleaned the kitchen, and left the dishes drying in the sink. He went to the other room and watched Yoochun watch TV. He was smiling and singing along with the group performing. He had a deep singing voice, that melted and dripped along his skin like thick blood. It made it even more tempting to take what he wanted first.
Jaejoong unbuttoned his shirt and left it over the back of a chair. He removed his belt next and then stretched the sleeve of his tank top and pulled it over his head. That fell into a white heap on the darker carpet.
His heart thudded in his chest, and he walked to where Yoochun was lying on the couch, robe open and revealing tempting pale skin. Jaejoong crawled over the arm of the couch. The first kiss landed on Yoochun’s shin, and then up his leg until the robe got in the way. Jaejoong kneeled between Yoochun’s legs and ran his hands up his inner thighs.
Yoochun shivered.
He loosened the tie and spread the robe open, and trailed fingertips over his warm skin. His stomach twitched and caved in.
“You don’t eat enough.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Swallowing doesn’t count.”
Yoochun laughed.
Jaejoong smiled and kept his touches light. His heart hammered in his chest. His eyes clouded over for a moment.
“You look like you’re going to fall over,” Yoochun said.
“I might.” Jaejoong moved his light touches to Yoochun’s arousal. It twitched under the soft treatment, and Jaejoong smiled, leaned over him and kissed him.
Yoochun ran his hands up Jaejoong’s chest. “You’re freezing,” he whispered.
Jaejoong nodded and kissed him again. All of his energy was going to his heart, making it thump and beat in time to their kiss. He would be cold until he fed.
Jaejoong lowered his body and pressed Yoochun into the couch. He moaned and wrapped arms and legs around Jaejoong.
Jaejoong kept his hands on the couch, slightly propped up, enough to leave his lips and run his tongue down the column of Yoochun’s throat. He stopped at the collar bones, licking one and then the other. His breath was icy, leaving the skin pebbled.
“This … what …”
He felt Yoochun’s confusion in his mind and in his thudding heart.
It’d been so many years since his body craved a companion that Jaejoong thought he might be sick suddenly. He pressed his face to Yoochun’s taut neck.
“Jaejoong-shi, s-stop. This …” His panicked hands clawed at Jaejoong’s bare shoulders.
Jaejoong shut his eyes and stopped. But he did not get up.
“Why … what’s wrong?”
“If you wait just a few minutes, you’ll get your answer,” Jaejoong whispered. His mouth was at Yoochun’s ear, and the sweat on his neck turned to ice crystals. Jaejoong licked them up, moaning from the taste of his treat.
Yoochun shivered, this time in fear, and Jaejoong felt it and frowned. He didn’t want Yoochun to be afraid of him.
“You’re scaring me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“But not sorry enough to let me up.”
Jaejoong smiled, felt a fang against his lips and then lifted his head.
Yoochun gasped.
Jaejoong opened his eyes, and everything was tinged blue, and Yoochun struggled underneath him. Jaejoong’s mouth opened, fangs pulsing in time to the rapid beat of his heart.
“Please,” Jaejoong whispered and ran his ice cold hand down Yoochun’s warm body. He cupped Yoochun’s softened cock and rolled it around his hand. “Please, Yoochun-ah. Please.”
Yoochun’s eyes were wide, breathing shallow, and Jaejoong’s body automatically breathed/beat/pulsed in time to it. So much fear.
“It won’t hurt that much,” Jaejoong continued, blabbering, not caring what he said. “Please, just a little. Thirsty, and it hurts. You’re so warm, please. A thousand dollars, remember, just … a thousand. More if you want. Please.”
Yoochun shut his eyes tightly. His fingers burned on his cold skin, and he clenched at Jaejoong’s shoulders. He took a very deep breath, and turned his head to the side.
Jaejoong whimpered and lowered his mouth. His icy breath numbed the surface of the skin. He licked the area over and over. He wasn’t too far gone to really hurt Yoochun, and he was thankful for the control.
“Thank you, Yoochun-ah,” Jaejoong gasped, and then opened his mouth, slid his fangs into Yoochun’s neck and drank.
Yoochun’s body shook beneath him, tightening his grip of arms and legs. Jaejoong pushed a hand behind his back and kept one around his neck, cradling him close while he fed. Blood poured into his throat, the heat warring with the cold. His heart sped up, sucked the offering into his body and twisted it through his limbs.
Yoochun sagged beneath him with a whine, and Jaejoong stopped drinking, again thanking his control. He lapped at the pinpoints on Yoochun’s neck and muttered apologies at him.
Yoochun’s chest rose and fell with heavy breathing, his hands shaking, his eyes fluttering.
“Thank you, Yoochun-ah,” Jaejoong said again.
Invigorated, Jaejoong stood up. He scooped Yoochun into his arms, and Yoochun protested and hit his chest weakly.
“I’m just carrying you to bed, my darling,” Jaejoong said.
Yoochun huffed, and turned his head, burying it into Jaejoong’s now-warm body. Jaejoong carefully kneeled on the bed and put Yoochun in the middle of it. He moved the blankets, and pulled the robe from his body.
Yoochun was not asleep, but not really awake either. A half state of consciousness that always came after a deep feeding. He’d be okay in a few hours. Or at least by morning.
Jaejoong lay next to him, arms around him, face at his neck. Their bodies curled together, and unconsciously, Jaejoong slipped his fangs into Yoochun’s neck again.
Yoochun inhaled sharply, body shaking, and Jaejoong only took a few swallows before pulling away. He nuzzled his nose below Yoochun’s ear and lapped at his skin.
Content. Well-fed.
Jaejoong knew he was smiling like a crazy person.
Jaejoong didn’t know how much time had passed when Yoochun’s body jerked and his hands scrambled for something to hang on to. Jaejoong wove their fingers together, pulling their hands against Yoochun’s chest, still over the blanket.
Yoochun breathed deeply, and then said, “Well. That was unexpected.”
Jaejoong laughed. “Yes, but thank you.”
Yoochun turned to his back, but Jaejoong didn’t move, hovering over him. He ran a hand up and over Yoochun’s neck and face, unable to help himself from touching.
“Now what?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled at him, and Yoochun didn’t stop him when he kissed him. “That’s up to you.”
“Why?”
“I’m not a monster. You don’t have to stay, I don’t need anything else from you.”
Yoochun tilted his head. “And I still get a thousand dollars?”
“Yep.”
“What about tomorrow night? Who gets your money tomorrow night?”
Jaejoong tilted his head and then understood the question. “I don’t need to drink every night, or even every week. You gave me enough to last me a long time.”
“Do you sparkle?”
Jaejoong laughed. “I guess burning is considered a kind of sparkling.”
Yoochun reached up and touched his lips, and Jaejoong opened his mouth, relaxing his lips for Yoochun’s quiet exploration. He didn’t shiver when he touched Jaejoong’s fangs.
Jaejoong wanted to smile. His instincts about people were always right on. He knew Yoochun would be the perfect choice.
“So do I get to have sex with you or not?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong yanked his upper body back and stared at Yoochun incredulously.
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “God, you think the only reason why I went with you was so you could suck on my neck like an overgrown mosquito?”
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t need sex.”
“No one needs sex, hyung.”
With a laugh, Jaejoong lifted his body over Yoochun’s and trapped him under the blanket. With elbows by his face, Jaejoong stole a kiss. “You need to sleep.”
Yoochun tangled his arms around Jaejoong’s neck. “I don’t want to sleep.”
Still smiling, Jaejoong kissed Yoochun while he talked. “I need to rest. After feeding, I’m like a teenager again, and I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression.”
This time Yoochun laughed. “So you’re like a teenager and you come six times instead of just one.”
Jaejoong moaned and rolled his hips over Yoochun’s body. Yoochun’s legs spread under the blanket, and then he tried to lift them. He pouted, almost adorably, and Jaejoong propped up on his feet and hands. Yoochun tugged the blanket to the side and before Jaejoong could fall on top of him again, he unclasped Jaejoong’s dress pants. He slipped his hands into Jaejoong’s boxers and gripped his erection with both hands.
Jaejoong shivered and moaned. His heart (which had settled into a steady beat) sped up again. He thrust his hips into Yoochun’s grip. His body quivered from the strain of holding himself up. Blood swirled through his veins. His vision went blue again, and his elbows collapsed.
“Hm, Jaejoong-hyung,” Yoochun cooed in his ear. “Going to come already?”
Jaejoong nodded, speeding his movements. Yoochun cupped his balls and squeezed the head of his cock all at once, and Jaejoong moaned, breath hot on Yoochun’s neck. Yoochun stretched his head to the side, and since it was offered, Jaejoong slipped his fangs under Yoochun’s skin.
Yoochun moaned and lifted his hips. His hand left for only a moment, and then he had both of their cocks in his hand and that, combined with the fresh blood, and the over eagerness of his bedmate, had Jaejoong coming all over Yoochun’s pale skin. He took one more swallow, and extracted his fangs and fell heavily on top of the boy.
Yoochun hummed in amusement. His finger trailed over Jaejoong’s back in nonsensical patterns.
“So how old are you? Really?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong thought about the question, thought about lying, and then pulled away and lay snuggled against Yoochun’s side.
“Four hundred and twenty two.”
“Wow. Dare I ask how many vampires there are walking around the streets of Seoul?”
Jaejoong grinned. “Not a lot. Maybe fifty. If there were more, we wouldn’t be able to stay hidden.”
Jaejoong leaned down and lapped at the blossoming bruise on Yoochun’s neck.
Yoochun shivered and laughed. “Hyung, that tickles.”
Jaejoong smiled. He loved how easily Yoochun accepted this, how comfortable he was with a mythical creature on top of him.
Then again, Yoochun was a hooker. Jaejoong was sure he had to play the part to get as much money as he could. But Jaejoong trusted his instincts.
“I have a proposition for you,” Jaejoong said, kissing his neck and collarbones again.
“Hm, you’re going to make me come? Okay.”
Jaejoong chuckled. He ran his hand down Yoochun’s body, through his come and gripped his erection. He stroked lightly, and Yoochun squirmed under him. “I will make you come, today, tomorrow, next week, next month.”
Yoochun’s eyes flew open.
Jaejoong grinned. With Yoochun’s blood in his body, it was so easy to feel his emotions.
“What?”
“Every fifty years or so, I have a sudden urge to have something to play with. Something to dress up and show off to other people.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes.
“I’m not asking you to fall hopelessly in love with me,” Jaejoong said. “I’ve been alive too long to believe in love. But you’re beautiful, and it’ll make the others jealous.”
“You really are crazy.”
“Maybe. Think about it.”
“I’m not going to agree until I know what I’m getting into. I mean, really. You say you’re hundreds of years old, but you just came in about two minutes. I’m not setting myself up for a lifetime of disappointment.”
Jaejoong tittered at him and slid his fangs under Yoochun’s skin again.
---v-v--- Ten Years Later ---v-v---
“I’m setting up a house for you, and-“
Yoochun made a noise of protest.
Jaejoong met his eyes. “Would you prefer an apartment?”
Yoochun’s beautiful dark eyes narrowed. “You’re kicking me out?”
“No. I’m setting up-“
“You’re kicking me out. You don’t want me here anymore.”
“No, but we had a deal,” Jaejoong said. “And now it’s over.”
The beautiful man standing before him glared, hands balled up in fists.
“You have more than enough to keep you and whoever you choose comfortable for the rest of your life. Do you want a house or an apartment?”
Yoochun said nothing.
Jaejoong pondered him, let his gaze sweep over his body. Yoochun had grown up and grown even more beautiful over the last ten years. His long hair was pulled back in a queue, the ends brushing between his shoulder blades. His structured face was set in irritation now, but Jaejoong liked it most when he smiled. The Armani suit complimented his shoulders, the sport coat showed off his tiny waist. The top three buttons of the blue shirt under it were unbuttoned, giving Jaejoong teasing glimpses of his collarbones. His skin was still as pale as it ever had been. Except for the latest bite mark on his neck.
Yoochun was definitely the most beautiful of Jaejoong’s humans. The only human he’d kept for so long. And his heart still beat when they were close.
Finally, after a long time of glaring, Yoochun said, “I’m comfortable here.”
Jaejoong frowned and held out his hand, but Yoochun did not move. “Come on, Yoochun. Business deal. Remember.”
“I remember,” he said, voice breaking. “You really are incapable of love.”
Jaejoong tilted his head at the sudden change in topic. “Incapable? That makes it sound like love is a real thing.”
Yoochun snorted. “You’ve been alive too long to believe in love.”
“Yes,” Jaejoong said carefully, wondering why his words were being parroted back at him.
“Then you’re the lucky one,” Yoochun said, and turned around.
“Wait, Yoochun-ah. What are you talking about?”
Yoochun shook his head, ponytail swaying on his back. Jaejoong stood up, and used his vampire speed to stop Yoochun from leaving his office. He snaked one arm around Yoochun’s waist, unbuttoning the sport coat, and let the other one trail up to his hair. He loosened the leather tie.
Yoochun was shaking in his arms.
Jaejoong kissed his cheek and then his neck.
Yoochun gripped his arm tightly. “Please let me go.”
Jaejoong paused at the voice devoid of emotion.
“Please let me go, Jaejoong-shi.”
Surprised at the formality, Jaejoong let him go. Yoochun left the office, but Jaejoong followed after him.
“I’m trying to do right by you,” Jaejoong said to his back.
Yoochun did not reply and led them through the main hall and then up the stairs.
“I understand that you don’t want to go, but you’ll have a house and servants and-“
“You understand shit,” Yoochun snapped and stopped on a stair. He turned around. “You think that’s important to me?”
Jaejoong tilted his head, looking up at him. “Yoochun-ah-”
“I don’t want your fucking money, and I don’t want fucking servants, and I don’t want five thousand dollar suits.”
Yoochun headed back up the stairs, leaving Jaejoong gaping at him. It took Jaejoong a few seconds to realize his heart was fluttering, and then he bounded up the stairs and to Yoochun’s room.
The Armani suit was on the floor.
The only mar on his pale skin was the dark purple bruise on his neck. The one Jaejoong had left the night before from feeding.
Yoochun’s skinny body disappeared into a pair of tight jeans. No boxers. Denim on skin.
Jaejoong licked his lips and then shook his head, pushing the lust aside. “Yoochun-“
Yoochun shut him up with a glare and then went into his closet. Jaejoong stayed where he was. Yoochun returned with arms full of clothes and he shoved them into a duffle bag. He went into the bathroom and returned with shampoo and not much else. He zipped the bag shut.
“Yoochun, what are you doing?”
The last thing Yoochun grabbed was a jacket. He zipped it up, and then stood there for a moment, staring at the bed.
With a tiny gasp, Yoochun latched onto the white bear that never left his bed and shoved it violently into the bag. Jaejoong had given him the bear years ago. It’d come with a bouquet of white roses. He never really understood why Yoochun had kept it.
He took a few deep breaths, calming, and then turned to Jaejoong. “You owe me a thousand dollars.”
“W-what? Yoochun.”
“You owe me a thousand dollars,” he repeated.
Jaejoong crossed his arms. “I’m sure you have more than that in your bank account.”
“That isn’t my bank account. I want it now. In cash, and then-“ He broke off, unable to say anything else.
Jaejoong reached for him and Yoochun jerked himself back. “What are you going to do? Sell yourself again?”
“Again?” Yoochun said. “What have I been doing for the last ten years?”
Jaejoong bit his lip. “You aren’t a whore.”
“Then this hasn’t been just a business deal.”
“Yoochun-ah.”
“Fuck off, hyung. Just give me my money and I’ll get out of your way and you never have to see me again. Isn’t that what you want?”
Jaejoong said nothing. Even alive this long and he had no idea what going on.
Yoochun scoffed. “Fine. I’ll go withdraw a thousand dollars since you don’t seem to be getting it.”
Yoochun walked past him, and Jaejoong grabbed his arm. His heart thumped.
“Chun-“
“Look, hyung, I get it. You’re done with me. Fine. Bye. See you later. Or not later. Whatever. It’s been fun, so yeah-“
Jaejoong put his hand over Yoochun’s mouth, not caring when the other struggled and bit him. “I’m trying to take care of you, and think about-“
Yoochun kicked his shin and Jaejoong let him go with a gasp, and Yoochun stumbled and fell to one knee, hand on the floor. His breathing echoed in the room.
“Not believing in love must be nice,” Yoochun whispered. “No pain. No heartbreak.”
Jaejoong stared at him, still unsure what the concept of love had to do with anything.
“Nothing but a business deal.” Yoochun forced himself up, and brushed by Jaejoong again. His hair hid his face, but not so much that Jaejoong hadn’t seen the tear on his cheek.
He’d never seen Yoochun cry.
He stood, frozen and then scrambled after him, this time going down the stairs, shouting at him to wait a minute.
Yoochun did not.
The servant at the door, bowed and opened it as Yoochun walked through, and he was halfway down the main drive, before Jaejoong caught up with him. His skin glowed in the moonlight.
Jaejoong snagged the bag and jerked Yoochun to a stop.
Tears glistened on his cheeks, and even through Yoochun tried to pull away, Jaejoong wiped them away with cool fingers. Jaejoong’s heart beat strongly in his chest, echoing panic and concern.
“Let me go.”
“Let me explain.”
“You’ve said enough.”
“No, I haven’t.”
Yoochun jerked away and kept walking. Jaejoong fell into step next to him. He reached for his hand and Yoochun moved away from him.
“Normally I keep humans around for only a couple years.”
Yoochun snorted. “Yay. I’m special.”
“You are. I’ll miss you.”
Yoochun shut his eyes and then rubbed his hands over them. “Hyung, shut up. You’re not making this any easier.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Obviously, but that’s because you don’t believe in love, and since you-“
“Where are you going to go?”
“Doesn’t matter. Away from you, away from this. Back to what I deserve.”
“I need you to stop and explain this to me.”
“If I have to explain it, then it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
Jaejoong tried to take his elbow, and Yoochun’s hand shot up and slashed over his cheek. Jaejoong stopped. He’d seen the smack, could have stopped it, but was so surprised that he hadn’t.
“Leave me alone.” Yoochun walked away from him. Again.
The boy had always been a bit of a rebel. Sarcastic, but funny. Jaejoong was going to miss him.
“Chunnie-ah.” Jaejoong hurried after him, and walked next to him. They left the driveway through the small iron gate, and Yoochun walked ahead of him on the sidewalk.
Jaejoong didn’t know what to say to make Yoochun understand, so he talked and hoped Yoochun was listening.
“This is for the best, you know,” Jaejoong said. “You have your entire life ahead of you. You’re still young and attractive, and you can find someone to live with and settle down with and have a family. I don’t get to have that. I don’t get that because of what I am. I’m destined to live forever. You aren’t. You’re going to grow old and die like all humans.”
“The point of life, as you just said, is to find someone to live with and settle down with. I found my someone, even if he’s stupid. I won’t find someone else.”
Jaejoong sighed. “I can’t grow old with you.”
“So what?”
“So … do you …” Jaejoong stopped walking and said to Yoochun’s retreating figure. “I don’t want to watch you die.”
“Then turn me into-“ Yoochun cut off what he was going to say. They weren’t alone on the streets.
“No.”
Yoochun turned and they watched each other from afar. He was still crying. Jaejoong wanted to hug him.
“May I ask you something?” Yoochun said and walked toward him.
Jaejoong nodded.
“Is this all just because you don’t want to watch me die?” Yoochun was less than three feet from him and Jaejoong’s heart thumped.
Jaejoong tilted his head in question. “What do you mean?”
“It was a simple question.”
Jaejoong didn’t say anything, trying to work out the elements of the question. It didn’t seem like it was a simple question.
“God, you’re kind of stupid for someone who is almost five hundred years old.”
“Do you know how many humans I’ve watched die in five hundred years?”
Yoochun said nothing.
“It’s painful,” Jaejoong whispered.
“So instead of feeling that pain, you distance yourself.”
Jaejoong met his eyes.
Yoochun stepped into him, and lifted his hand, placing it on his chest. “Do I still make your heartbeat?”
Jaejoong’s throat closed up and he nodded.
Yoochun bit his lower lip. “Good. Maybe when it stops, you’ll understand what I’m feeling.”
“Yoochun-ah.”
Yoochun shook his head. “The only reason I know that you haven’t ripped my heart out is that it hurts.” His next words were cut off with a sob and he turned quickly and walked away.
“Yoochun!”
“Fuck you, Jaejoong-shi,” Yoochun said, using the most polite and deferential forms.
Jaejoong chuckled and caught up with him again. “If you’re going to leave, then let me help you.”
“If?” Yoochun said. “I have a choice now.”
“What?”
“If, you said, if I’m going to leave. I’m not leaving. You’re kicking me out.”
“Let me help.”
“Once again, fuck you.”
Jaejoong sighed. “I want you to be well taken care of.”
“I want you to go fuck yourself.”
Jaejoong growled and pushed him into the wall. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
“In the last ten years, I’ve only felt like a whore twice,” Yoochun said. “Twice. The morning after our first night together, and right now. Okay, and that one time with your vampire friend Siwon, but that was amazing sex, so it doesn’t really count.”
Jaejoong smiled. “You aren’t a whore.”
“Yes, I am. I’ve just had the same customer for the last ten years. Let me go, please.”
“Are you going to sell yourself?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“So? Whatever I choose to do or not do is no longer of your concern. Our business deal is over.”
“But I care about you.”
“Funny. Could have fooled me.” He turned his head away again, choking up. His eyes shut, and tears dripped down his cheeks.
“You’re being stubborn.”
“Pot, kettle,” Yoochun bit out. “And I’m not. You are. You said it was time for me to leave, and I’m leaving.”
“Not like this.”
“Doesn’t matter how I leave. It’s going to hurt either way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh my god, really? I fucking love you, you overgrown mosquito. I love you, and you don’t love me. You think I want to live in a house and live with servants, and know that everything I have is from you. But I can’t have you because you can’t … no, because you won’t love me? You think I want to be reminded of you every single day, every moment of my life?”
“Yoo-“
“Just let me go, hyung,” Yoochun whispered, not bothering to try to hide the emotions in his voice.
Jaejoong stepped back and Yoochun slipped away from him.
Yoochun loved him. Well, that explained a lot.
Jaejoong sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Part of what Yoochun said was true. He didn’t want to go through the pain of watching Yoochun grow old and die.
Do I still make your heart beat?
Yoochun had been the only human that made his heart beat after the first couple of years.
He was still in sight, a few blocks ahead. All he had to do was turn a corner, and then another, and Jaejoong would lose him.
Never see him again.
The gravity of the situation hit him.
He would never, ever see Yoochun again. His heart thumped and then stilled. He’d survive. Of course he would. He’d live and watch people grow old around him. He’d find another human in a few years.
And what about Yoochun?
Yoochun would be a memory, and at this point, a painful memory. He did not want Yoochun to be a painful memory.
Jaejoong wasn’t sure how to fix this, but leaving it like this wasn’t an option.
Once again, he ran after Yoochun. He caught up to him, and threw him against a brick wall. Yoochun’s breath left him in a rush. Jaejoong heart beat once and then stilled, but that was enough to let relief flood him.
“Fuck, hyung, leave me alone.”
“No. I don’t want you to go. Not like this.”
“It hurts anyway.”
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah, it does.”
“I don’t understand you,” Yoochun said. “I’m leaving. Just let me leave.”
“Let me-”
“No. God. You’re making this worse. Stop acting like you love me, okay?”
“I care about you.”
“I don’t care. If you don’t love me, then nothing else matters.”
Jaejoong pulled their bodies together and hugged him tightly. The bag fell to the ground. Yoochun struggled for only a moment, and then curled against him, clutched his shirt into his hands and cried.
Jaejoong did not want to tell Yoochun he loved him. He knew that was a lie. Love was a lie. He tilted Yoochun’s face up and wiped at his tears.
“I don’t want your pity,” Yoochun said, half-heartedly scowling at him.
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have let you go years ago. This is my fault.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Jaejoong thought about that. “I lost myself with you.”
“What do you mean?”
The urgency in his voice made Jaejoong pause in his answer. What did he mean?
“I like being with you,” Jaejoong said. “I like … I like you, and it’s easy to be with you.”
Yoochun crossed his arms and leaned away from him. Jaejoong let him, and they stared at each other. Yoochun’s tears dried and he stood there, foot propped up on the wall, much like the first night they had met.
“Time doesn’t matter much when you’re with me,” Jaejoong finally said. “I hadn’t even realized how long we’d been together until your last birthday.”
Yoochun looked away, biting his lower lip. On his last birthday, Jaejoong had made him dinner and they’d eaten alone, in Jaejoong’s room, on a blanket on the floor. A lot of the food had been eaten off their skin. They’d had sex again and again and fell asleep on the floor, woken up wrapped around each other and still joined.
Jaejoong had been happy when he woke up wrapped around Yoochun.
And now he’d never have that again.
“You have two options, hyung,” Yoochun said. “Let me go, or keep me. Don’t come after me. Don’t try to put me up in a house and make me feel like a hooker for the rest of my life. Just let me go.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Yoochun tilted his head and stared at him. “That should be obvious. But it doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is what you want.”
They were silent again, and Yoochun lifted his hand and pressed it against Jaejoong’s chest, over his beating heart.
“Biology makes my heart beat,” Yoochun said. “But you … you make my heart race, you make it pound, and you make it pulse. And sometimes, when you kiss me, you make it flutter and stop, and sometimes it swells so much when I’m with you that I think it might burst.”
Jaejoong swallowed. His heart sped up. He covered Yoochun’s hand with his own and wondered what it would be like to feel all those things. He felt some of them, like the fluttering and the pulsing. But not for the same reasons Yoochun did. No matter what he said, Yoochun’s reactions were all about the physical biology in the human body.
Jaejoong’s heart reacted to Yoochun.
If whether Jaejoong lived or died depended on whether his heart beat or not, he’d never let Yoochun out of his sight.
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t understand that.”
Yoochun nodded. “You don’t understand love then. It isn’t that it doesn’t exist. You just don’t get it. Maybe you are incapable of feeling love. It’s ingrained in the heart, it’s ingrained in the way my body reacts when I’m with you. But even if you can’t feel it as strongly as I do, a little is better than none.”
Jaejoong frowned.
“Having your heart beat is better than not having it beat,” Yoochun clarified.
Now that was true. Jaejoong had definitely grown used to having his heart beating.
Yoochun reached up and touched Jaejoong’s cool cheek. Jaejoong shut his eyes under the touch, fingers tightening on Yoochun’s hand.
Yoochun inhaled deeply and then leaned forward and pressed their lips together.
Jaejoong’s heart thumped twice and then fluttered. He shut his eyes with a breath of relief.
“I felt that,” Yoochun said against his lips. “That’s what it always feels like when you kiss me.”
Jaejoong gripped his wrist and kissed him again.
“You don’t really want me to go, right, hyung? You don’t. Right?”
Jaejoong shook his head. “No. Of course not.”
“Good.”
“But-”
“No,” Yoochun said and sucked Jaejoong’s lower lip into his mouth. For a moment. He let it go with a wet smack. “No. You don’t want me to go, I don’t want to go. Done, end, that’s it. I’m not going.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Okay.”
“Make me another deal.”
“What?”
“You can’t love me, I understand that. But because you can’t love me, that hurts. That … I just … I want you to love me, but you can’t. And that’s painful. So here’s the deal. You let me love you, and then later, after … you have to watch me die.”
Jaejoong swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t want to watch you die.”
“I don’t want to love you without you loving me. Trust me when I say it’s just as painful.”
Jaejoong pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “Okay, but don’t die too soon.”
Yoochun smiled and kissed him. “You either.”
Their tongues touched, and Yoochun moaned, settling against the wall behind them. Jaejoong’s hands wrapped around waist, holding him tightly. Yoochun slid his hand up and tangled them in Jaejoong’s hair. Their kiss deepened, and Jaejoong’s head went light.
Normally that only happened when he needed to feed.
Yoochun broke away with a gasp. “It’s been … a long time … since a man pressed me up against a brick wall in the middle of the city.”
Jaejoong smiled and peppered his lips in kisses. “We should go out more.”
Yoochun laughed.
Jaejoong hugged him tightly and licked at the bruise on his neck. “Yoochun-ah?”
“Hm?”
“All humans make my heart beat, but never for this long, never so strongly or so much. Except for you. You make my heart beat.” Jaejoong wasn’t sure why he needed to say that.
Yoochun smiled and made him look at him again. “You make my heart beat, too.”
.