Illicit Love 6/7?
Title: Illicit Love 6/7?
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong (implied sexual situations with Jaejoong and others)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They are only mine to experiment with when I write fanfics like this.
Summary: I am an only child. But at about twelve, a boy was forced to work for us, and then suddenly I had a sister named Minjae. I knew that Jaejoong was still in there, behind the beautiful long hair and dresses and corsets. Did I fall in love with her, my adopted sister, or in love with the boy who she used to be?
Warning: implied sexual situations with a minor and prostitution
A/N: Jaejoong is a boy in this fic. But in Yunho's upbringing, he was taught to call him a girl and think of him as a girl, so he refers to Jaejoong as "her" and "she". This fic is first person, from Yunho's POV. Also, I tagged this as fantasy just because the setting is like an Inn during Medieval times.
Fanart by crazyaboutchun!!!
Part 6:
I woke up under the scrutiny of a boy, his face set with determination. I smiled, and his eyes narrowed. Black hair staggered around his face. Choppy, uneven. I needed to work on my hair cutting abilities. His pink lips thinned into a line of irritation as I said nothing and continued to stare at him.
I still saw my BooJae in his eyes and cheeks. My clothes hung off his small frame. His eyes didn’t look nearly as big with hair framing his face. I reached for him, but he jerked away from my hand.
Frowning, I said, “Jae.”
He shook his head. “Don’t.” His voice broke and he blushed, turning away.
I took the opportunity and sat up. I put my arms around him, one at his waist, the other at his chest, like I always did when I held my BooJae. He shook and tried only once to get away, and then gave up with a cry. He hid his face in his hands and his back hitched with his labored breaths. Like this, I could almost pretend he was a girl.
“Jae,” I whispered, running my fingers through short hair. But even before, I had only pretended he was a girl. It wasn’t fair to her, or to him, for me to think of him as anything but what he was. And he was a boy. A scared and confused boy.
“I’m ugly,” he said, voice so quiet.
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re a liar. I’m ugly.”
I turned him around despite his struggles. I grabbed his cheeks and made him look at me. His dark eyes were so wide with concern and anguish. “You look different, my love, but you’re still beautiful.”
His eyes shut, trickles of tears slipping down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs.
“I told you before and I will tell you again. I love you. I love who you are, whoever you choose to be. You are beautiful.” His eyes were still shut, so I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. He gripped my wrists tightly, and then jerked his head back, away from me. He gasped, eyes downcast.
“Are you hungry?” I whispered.
He nodded.
“Okay, then we’ll eat and get on the road.”
He nodded again and moved away when I let him go. He sat cross-legged, and reached for skirts that weren’t there. To cover the move, he patted his knees, and then fell back to the blanket with a sigh.
I chuckled. “You’ll get used to it.”
He made a face.
I brought him some bread and dried meat. He made another face when I stole a kiss against his cheek. I sat back with my own small breakfast and watched him eat. His movements were still delicate, his mannerisms feminine.
It was easier than I thought it was going to be to think of my BooJae as a boy instead of a girl.
“Stop staring at me,” he said.
His voice was the same, but in this short hair and different clothes, it sounded more like a young boy instead of girl.
“I like staring at you,” I replied.
He stuck out his tongue and tossed a chunk of bread at me. I caught it and tossed it back lightly. “You need to eat that.”
He turned to the side, head tilting, but he no longer had a curtain of hair to hide behind. But that also meant he wasn’t looking at me, and once again, I moved closer. He jumped when I touched his knee.
“H-hyung?”
I shut my eyes and sighed hearing him call me that. “Huh?”
“I-I may have been too hasty.”
“It’s just hair. It will grow back. If you want.”
He turned his head, putting our faces close. I wanted to kiss him again, but he wasn’t done talking yet.
“It’s not just the hair, h-h-hyung. It’s … everything. Clothes, and people and … you’ve been calling me your wife.”
“And now I’ll call you my friend.”
“W-what else … what …” He huffed, blowing long bangs out of his eyes.
I smiled and reached up and pushed the short hair off his forehead. I couldn’t help myself and pressed a kiss to his pale skin. “At the next town, we’ll buy you clothes that fit, get your hair cut-”
He threw his arms around my neck and I put my arms around his waist. Like this, with my eyes shut, he felt more like she had the night before. But I still loved my BooJae.
“Or we can cover your head with a shawl, you can wear your clothes and we continue on and you can grow your hair back.”
He tiled his head and looked at me. He was so confused, and looked almost heart broken. He shut his eyes and hugged me more tightly.
“Do you want me to be a girl?” he whispered.
I shook my head so he could feel it. “I want you to be whoever you want to be. I will still love you no matter what you decide. Do you want to be a girl?”
No,” he whispered. “N-no, I … yesterday, when he … I couldn’t stop him, Yunho, and I … I don’t want to feel helpless anymore.”
“Then you won’t. And I guess the only problem is me.”
Wary, he bit his lower lip.
I laughed and said, “I’m going to have a hard time not kissing you whenever I want.”
His cheeks turned adorably pink, like they frequently did. I turned his face to mine again and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
“Let’s break camp and get moving.”
He grabbed my arms. “C-can I ride with you again?”
I nodded. “Of course, my love.”
We traveled through the morning. I held my BooJae tightly, I knew her brain was cascading with thoughts and fears. I did not know how to relieve her fears, so I just held her and kissed his forehead every now and then.
She … no, he fell asleep in my arms a few times. It was going to take some time to get used to that. For practice I said to myself, “his lips, his hair, his clothes, his body, his legs, his arms” everything I could think of, over and over.
It was nearing three in the afternoon when we came upon the next town. It was small with only a few inns and shops, but it was enough.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked.
Jae stayed by the horses, shifting from foot to foot. I didn’t blame him. He hadn’t been a boy around other people since he was eight years old.
He nodded.
I led the way, walking in front of him. His hands clutched my arm. A few passerby gave us odd looks. I didn’t mind too much. Jae was nervous.
We went to the barber shop first. Fortunately, the barber had no other customers. He greeted us warmly and said hello.
“What can I do for you gentleman today?”
Jae’s cheeks went red. He’d never been called that before.
“Just a couple hair cuts, sir,” I replied. “We’ve been on the road for a long time. I tried to cut his hair and destroyed it.”
“I see that. Young man, come to this chair.”
Jae looked at me with wide eyes, and at my encouraging smile, he slid off the chair. The barber stood next to a chair and Jae sat, hunched over.
“No, no, sit up straight.”
Jae did, head up.
The barber took his chin and turned his head back and forth. “Hm, very soft features for a boy, but still masculine enough. You haven’t started shaving yet, but don’t worry, boy. You’ll grow into yourself.”
The barber started cutting, and Jae winced with every snap of the sheers.
“How old are you, anyway?”
“F-fifteen,” Jae stammered.
“Much too skinny for your age. Isn’t your hyung taking care of you?”
“He takes care of me all the time,” Jae said, very defensive. His voice cracked again.
“He was sick,” I put in quickly. “At a young age. From eight to eleven, he pretty much stayed in bed.”
“That explains it,” the barber said. “You need to be out in the sun, running through fields and climbing trees. Work your muscles back into shape.”
“I do,” Jae said hotly.
I chuckled. “It’s a sensitive subject, sir.”
The barber smiled. “I see that.”
He finished Jae’s hair pretty quickly. It was so short, above his ears and off his neck. Jae stared at himself in the mirror for a long time.
“It suits you,” the barber said.
The corner of his lips turned in a smile. “I-I like it.”
“Good, now it’s your hyung’s turn.”
I watched Jae while the barber cut my hair. He stood in front of the mirror near the door and touched his face and his hair and his neck. It’d been a very long time since he’d last seen those without a curtain of hair to pull away.
After our haircuts, I left Jae in the hands of the local tailor, and I went to the dress shop to sell all of his old clothes. I made up a story of our sister passing away and no longer needing the clothes. The women in the shop were very understanding and a few touched my arm or my side in a way that would have made Jaejoong mad.
I went back to the tailor’s and saw a boy outside the shop that I barely recognized. He wore pants that fit him and a tunic that dropped to his mid-thigh. He wrung a hat around and around in his hands while looking at the people passing by him.
Jae was still pretty. It’s like the barber had said, his features were soft and feminine. I knew that he’d grow into his big eyes and his cheeks soon. Given the proper exercise and food, he’d be strong and tall.
But he was still my BooJae. He would always be my BooJae.
He saw me staring, smiled and then ducked his head and blushed.
“You ready to go?” I asked as I walked up to him.
“We’re not staying here?”
“No. We’ve told too many lies to all these people to keep them straight. We’ll sleep on the road if we have to.”
“Okay.”
Before leaving the town, I bought a few more supplies of food and a couple of extra blankets, just in case we did end up sleeping on the road. Jae rode Ember for a few hours. He pulled his horse up to mine and then held out his hand. I didn’t think it was a smart idea for him to ride with me looking like a boy, but I could deny him nothing. I gripped under his arm and pulled him over to my saddle. Ember kept pace for a moment and then moved behind us, following the lead rope I attached to the saddle horn.
I held him tightly, and we traveled in silence as the sun set around us.
“Do you still like me?” Jae whispered.
I chuckled. “Yes. I still like you. I love you, Jaejoong.”
His body stiffened at the name, but he nodded. “I-I hope so.”
“How many times do I have to say that I love you for you, not for what you look like?”
“I know.” He turned his head up, and I looked down at him. He smiled and then bit his lower lip. “Will you teach me to defend myself?”
“You just want an excuse to beat me up, admit it.”
He laughed and tightened his hold on me. “Hyung!”
I shivered and bent down and quickly kissed him. “I love hearing you call me that.”
“Are we sleeping under a tree again?”
“Probably. Unless you want to travel until we get to another town.”
“No. I’m-“ Jae broke off and yawned.
I smiled and kissed him again.
An hour or so later, he was asleep in my arms. We came to a bridge. I pulled the horses to the side and traveled along the river. There was a grassy bluff overlooking a bend in the river. Tall, leafy oak trees provided a makeshift shelter. I woke Jae up.
He jerked like I had stabbed him. His breath gasped in the quiet of the night. “H-hyung?’
“We’re stopping for the night, love.”
Jaejoong swallowed and then nodded.
“You all right?”
“J-just a nightmare.”
I helped him slide from the horse. He stumbled and grabbed at his pants like he was trying to grab skirts to keep them up. With nothing there, he lost his balance and then fell to a knee with a small cry. I dropped to the ground. But before I could get there, he was already on his feet.
He avoided my arm and went to Ember. There was a determined glint to his face as he removed the packs. I watched, not moving to help until he came to the heaviest one.
“Hyung, I can …”
“Just let me get this one,” I said, lifting it off.
He frowned at me, but continued. I had always taken care of the horses when we stopped, removed their saddles and rubbed them down. He looked unsure on what to do next. Since Ember was his horse, I let Jaejoong alone and moved back to Bridget. Aware of Jaejoong watching, I removed her saddle, making sure Jaejoong saw how to release the notch. Jaejoong huffed under the weight of his saddle and almost fell over when he put it on the ground.
“We’ll use the saddle blankets for bedding again,” I said. “The ground is still a little wet.” I whipped the blanket out a few times and then moved to a flat stretch of ground. I laid it down. Jaejoong put his next to it. He didn’t quite get if flat, taking three times before it matched mine.
I opened a saddle bag and handed Jaejoong a rag. I showed him how to wipe the horse down, careful of the legs, lifting to make sure there were no stones in their hooves. When we were done, I pulled out our bedding and laid it on the makeshift bed.
“Hy-hyung?”
“Yeah?”
“I … I’m … I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, Jaejoong. Don’t go too far.”
He nodded and slipped away into the darkness of the trees. Probably to relieve himself. I lay on the blankets. There was tension between us. I didn’t quite understand it.
Jaejoong returned shortly. He saw me already in bed and stopped. He bit his lower lip, took a deep breath and then moved over to me. He sat on his side, ran his hands over the blankets and then looked at me. I propped up on an elbow and smiled at him. But when I reached for him, he flinched. I let my hand fall and frowned.
“I-I’m sorry, hyung. I …”
“It’s okay.”
He made a face. “Can’t you get mad at me at all?”
I laughed. “Impossible, my love. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, but … I … don’t … I want …” He looked so confused. “I feel so strange. I … can I still …” He waved his hands at me.
“Yes,” I said, and pulled him toward me. He resisted for only a moment, and then settled in my arms. “Yes, you can still hold me, I can still hold you. You can still touch me and kiss me and play with me. I want you to do all of that, Jaejoong. If you’re not comfortable with it right now, that’s okay, too. You need to get used to being a boy.”
We settled together, and his face pressed against my chest.
“Let’s try to sleep,” I whispered.
He nodded. “O-okay.”
Part 7: My Brother
Part 5: My Girl
Part 4: My Wife
Part 3: My Companion
Part 2: My Love
Part 1: My Sister
.
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong (implied sexual situations with Jaejoong and others)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They are only mine to experiment with when I write fanfics like this.
Summary: I am an only child. But at about twelve, a boy was forced to work for us, and then suddenly I had a sister named Minjae. I knew that Jaejoong was still in there, behind the beautiful long hair and dresses and corsets. Did I fall in love with her, my adopted sister, or in love with the boy who she used to be?
Warning: implied sexual situations with a minor and prostitution
A/N: Jaejoong is a boy in this fic. But in Yunho's upbringing, he was taught to call him a girl and think of him as a girl, so he refers to Jaejoong as "her" and "she". This fic is first person, from Yunho's POV. Also, I tagged this as fantasy just because the setting is like an Inn during Medieval times.
Fanart by crazyaboutchun!!!
Part 6:
I woke up under the scrutiny of a boy, his face set with determination. I smiled, and his eyes narrowed. Black hair staggered around his face. Choppy, uneven. I needed to work on my hair cutting abilities. His pink lips thinned into a line of irritation as I said nothing and continued to stare at him.
I still saw my BooJae in his eyes and cheeks. My clothes hung off his small frame. His eyes didn’t look nearly as big with hair framing his face. I reached for him, but he jerked away from my hand.
Frowning, I said, “Jae.”
He shook his head. “Don’t.” His voice broke and he blushed, turning away.
I took the opportunity and sat up. I put my arms around him, one at his waist, the other at his chest, like I always did when I held my BooJae. He shook and tried only once to get away, and then gave up with a cry. He hid his face in his hands and his back hitched with his labored breaths. Like this, I could almost pretend he was a girl.
“Jae,” I whispered, running my fingers through short hair. But even before, I had only pretended he was a girl. It wasn’t fair to her, or to him, for me to think of him as anything but what he was. And he was a boy. A scared and confused boy.
“I’m ugly,” he said, voice so quiet.
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re a liar. I’m ugly.”
I turned him around despite his struggles. I grabbed his cheeks and made him look at me. His dark eyes were so wide with concern and anguish. “You look different, my love, but you’re still beautiful.”
His eyes shut, trickles of tears slipping down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs.
“I told you before and I will tell you again. I love you. I love who you are, whoever you choose to be. You are beautiful.” His eyes were still shut, so I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. He gripped my wrists tightly, and then jerked his head back, away from me. He gasped, eyes downcast.
“Are you hungry?” I whispered.
He nodded.
“Okay, then we’ll eat and get on the road.”
He nodded again and moved away when I let him go. He sat cross-legged, and reached for skirts that weren’t there. To cover the move, he patted his knees, and then fell back to the blanket with a sigh.
I chuckled. “You’ll get used to it.”
He made a face.
I brought him some bread and dried meat. He made another face when I stole a kiss against his cheek. I sat back with my own small breakfast and watched him eat. His movements were still delicate, his mannerisms feminine.
It was easier than I thought it was going to be to think of my BooJae as a boy instead of a girl.
“Stop staring at me,” he said.
His voice was the same, but in this short hair and different clothes, it sounded more like a young boy instead of girl.
“I like staring at you,” I replied.
He stuck out his tongue and tossed a chunk of bread at me. I caught it and tossed it back lightly. “You need to eat that.”
He turned to the side, head tilting, but he no longer had a curtain of hair to hide behind. But that also meant he wasn’t looking at me, and once again, I moved closer. He jumped when I touched his knee.
“H-hyung?”
I shut my eyes and sighed hearing him call me that. “Huh?”
“I-I may have been too hasty.”
“It’s just hair. It will grow back. If you want.”
He turned his head, putting our faces close. I wanted to kiss him again, but he wasn’t done talking yet.
“It’s not just the hair, h-h-hyung. It’s … everything. Clothes, and people and … you’ve been calling me your wife.”
“And now I’ll call you my friend.”
“W-what else … what …” He huffed, blowing long bangs out of his eyes.
I smiled and reached up and pushed the short hair off his forehead. I couldn’t help myself and pressed a kiss to his pale skin. “At the next town, we’ll buy you clothes that fit, get your hair cut-”
He threw his arms around my neck and I put my arms around his waist. Like this, with my eyes shut, he felt more like she had the night before. But I still loved my BooJae.
“Or we can cover your head with a shawl, you can wear your clothes and we continue on and you can grow your hair back.”
He tiled his head and looked at me. He was so confused, and looked almost heart broken. He shut his eyes and hugged me more tightly.
“Do you want me to be a girl?” he whispered.
I shook my head so he could feel it. “I want you to be whoever you want to be. I will still love you no matter what you decide. Do you want to be a girl?”
No,” he whispered. “N-no, I … yesterday, when he … I couldn’t stop him, Yunho, and I … I don’t want to feel helpless anymore.”
“Then you won’t. And I guess the only problem is me.”
Wary, he bit his lower lip.
I laughed and said, “I’m going to have a hard time not kissing you whenever I want.”
His cheeks turned adorably pink, like they frequently did. I turned his face to mine again and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
“Let’s break camp and get moving.”
He grabbed my arms. “C-can I ride with you again?”
I nodded. “Of course, my love.”
We traveled through the morning. I held my BooJae tightly, I knew her brain was cascading with thoughts and fears. I did not know how to relieve her fears, so I just held her and kissed his forehead every now and then.
She … no, he fell asleep in my arms a few times. It was going to take some time to get used to that. For practice I said to myself, “his lips, his hair, his clothes, his body, his legs, his arms” everything I could think of, over and over.
It was nearing three in the afternoon when we came upon the next town. It was small with only a few inns and shops, but it was enough.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked.
Jae stayed by the horses, shifting from foot to foot. I didn’t blame him. He hadn’t been a boy around other people since he was eight years old.
He nodded.
I led the way, walking in front of him. His hands clutched my arm. A few passerby gave us odd looks. I didn’t mind too much. Jae was nervous.
We went to the barber shop first. Fortunately, the barber had no other customers. He greeted us warmly and said hello.
“What can I do for you gentleman today?”
Jae’s cheeks went red. He’d never been called that before.
“Just a couple hair cuts, sir,” I replied. “We’ve been on the road for a long time. I tried to cut his hair and destroyed it.”
“I see that. Young man, come to this chair.”
Jae looked at me with wide eyes, and at my encouraging smile, he slid off the chair. The barber stood next to a chair and Jae sat, hunched over.
“No, no, sit up straight.”
Jae did, head up.
The barber took his chin and turned his head back and forth. “Hm, very soft features for a boy, but still masculine enough. You haven’t started shaving yet, but don’t worry, boy. You’ll grow into yourself.”
The barber started cutting, and Jae winced with every snap of the sheers.
“How old are you, anyway?”
“F-fifteen,” Jae stammered.
“Much too skinny for your age. Isn’t your hyung taking care of you?”
“He takes care of me all the time,” Jae said, very defensive. His voice cracked again.
“He was sick,” I put in quickly. “At a young age. From eight to eleven, he pretty much stayed in bed.”
“That explains it,” the barber said. “You need to be out in the sun, running through fields and climbing trees. Work your muscles back into shape.”
“I do,” Jae said hotly.
I chuckled. “It’s a sensitive subject, sir.”
The barber smiled. “I see that.”
He finished Jae’s hair pretty quickly. It was so short, above his ears and off his neck. Jae stared at himself in the mirror for a long time.
“It suits you,” the barber said.
The corner of his lips turned in a smile. “I-I like it.”
“Good, now it’s your hyung’s turn.”
I watched Jae while the barber cut my hair. He stood in front of the mirror near the door and touched his face and his hair and his neck. It’d been a very long time since he’d last seen those without a curtain of hair to pull away.
After our haircuts, I left Jae in the hands of the local tailor, and I went to the dress shop to sell all of his old clothes. I made up a story of our sister passing away and no longer needing the clothes. The women in the shop were very understanding and a few touched my arm or my side in a way that would have made Jaejoong mad.
I went back to the tailor’s and saw a boy outside the shop that I barely recognized. He wore pants that fit him and a tunic that dropped to his mid-thigh. He wrung a hat around and around in his hands while looking at the people passing by him.
Jae was still pretty. It’s like the barber had said, his features were soft and feminine. I knew that he’d grow into his big eyes and his cheeks soon. Given the proper exercise and food, he’d be strong and tall.
But he was still my BooJae. He would always be my BooJae.
He saw me staring, smiled and then ducked his head and blushed.
“You ready to go?” I asked as I walked up to him.
“We’re not staying here?”
“No. We’ve told too many lies to all these people to keep them straight. We’ll sleep on the road if we have to.”
“Okay.”
Before leaving the town, I bought a few more supplies of food and a couple of extra blankets, just in case we did end up sleeping on the road. Jae rode Ember for a few hours. He pulled his horse up to mine and then held out his hand. I didn’t think it was a smart idea for him to ride with me looking like a boy, but I could deny him nothing. I gripped under his arm and pulled him over to my saddle. Ember kept pace for a moment and then moved behind us, following the lead rope I attached to the saddle horn.
I held him tightly, and we traveled in silence as the sun set around us.
“Do you still like me?” Jae whispered.
I chuckled. “Yes. I still like you. I love you, Jaejoong.”
His body stiffened at the name, but he nodded. “I-I hope so.”
“How many times do I have to say that I love you for you, not for what you look like?”
“I know.” He turned his head up, and I looked down at him. He smiled and then bit his lower lip. “Will you teach me to defend myself?”
“You just want an excuse to beat me up, admit it.”
He laughed and tightened his hold on me. “Hyung!”
I shivered and bent down and quickly kissed him. “I love hearing you call me that.”
“Are we sleeping under a tree again?”
“Probably. Unless you want to travel until we get to another town.”
“No. I’m-“ Jae broke off and yawned.
I smiled and kissed him again.
An hour or so later, he was asleep in my arms. We came to a bridge. I pulled the horses to the side and traveled along the river. There was a grassy bluff overlooking a bend in the river. Tall, leafy oak trees provided a makeshift shelter. I woke Jae up.
He jerked like I had stabbed him. His breath gasped in the quiet of the night. “H-hyung?’
“We’re stopping for the night, love.”
Jaejoong swallowed and then nodded.
“You all right?”
“J-just a nightmare.”
I helped him slide from the horse. He stumbled and grabbed at his pants like he was trying to grab skirts to keep them up. With nothing there, he lost his balance and then fell to a knee with a small cry. I dropped to the ground. But before I could get there, he was already on his feet.
He avoided my arm and went to Ember. There was a determined glint to his face as he removed the packs. I watched, not moving to help until he came to the heaviest one.
“Hyung, I can …”
“Just let me get this one,” I said, lifting it off.
He frowned at me, but continued. I had always taken care of the horses when we stopped, removed their saddles and rubbed them down. He looked unsure on what to do next. Since Ember was his horse, I let Jaejoong alone and moved back to Bridget. Aware of Jaejoong watching, I removed her saddle, making sure Jaejoong saw how to release the notch. Jaejoong huffed under the weight of his saddle and almost fell over when he put it on the ground.
“We’ll use the saddle blankets for bedding again,” I said. “The ground is still a little wet.” I whipped the blanket out a few times and then moved to a flat stretch of ground. I laid it down. Jaejoong put his next to it. He didn’t quite get if flat, taking three times before it matched mine.
I opened a saddle bag and handed Jaejoong a rag. I showed him how to wipe the horse down, careful of the legs, lifting to make sure there were no stones in their hooves. When we were done, I pulled out our bedding and laid it on the makeshift bed.
“Hy-hyung?”
“Yeah?”
“I … I’m … I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, Jaejoong. Don’t go too far.”
He nodded and slipped away into the darkness of the trees. Probably to relieve himself. I lay on the blankets. There was tension between us. I didn’t quite understand it.
Jaejoong returned shortly. He saw me already in bed and stopped. He bit his lower lip, took a deep breath and then moved over to me. He sat on his side, ran his hands over the blankets and then looked at me. I propped up on an elbow and smiled at him. But when I reached for him, he flinched. I let my hand fall and frowned.
“I-I’m sorry, hyung. I …”
“It’s okay.”
He made a face. “Can’t you get mad at me at all?”
I laughed. “Impossible, my love. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, but … I … don’t … I want …” He looked so confused. “I feel so strange. I … can I still …” He waved his hands at me.
“Yes,” I said, and pulled him toward me. He resisted for only a moment, and then settled in my arms. “Yes, you can still hold me, I can still hold you. You can still touch me and kiss me and play with me. I want you to do all of that, Jaejoong. If you’re not comfortable with it right now, that’s okay, too. You need to get used to being a boy.”
We settled together, and his face pressed against my chest.
“Let’s try to sleep,” I whispered.
He nodded. “O-okay.”
Part 7: My Brother
Part 5: My Girl
Part 4: My Wife
Part 3: My Companion
Part 2: My Love
Part 1: My Sister
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