Green is the Color of Love 3/4 (shut up)
Title: Green is the Color of Love 3/4
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu (minor Jaejoong/Yunho/Changmin)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd totally get stoned with them.
Summary: Yoochun finds out that Junsu tastes like peppermint and fresh snow. He also finds out that Junsu has wanted to taste him for years. So why is he suddenly resisting?
WARNING: Minor drug use (just weed)
A/N: This is a birthday fic for mexicananallama Her birthday was WEEKS ago. She gave me the gif that's about half way through the first part as inspriation. Sorry this took so long darling. It will be four parts! I hope you like it. ♥♥♥♥
Yes, it's four parts now, but THAT'S IT! I PROMISE!
Poster credit goes to inrukisarms! Thank you, darling!
Part 3: From Yoochun's POV
Yoochun was nervous. Not like … nervous, nervous. Just a little anxious. Junsu had sent him a text saying that yes, he would come over to talk. He paced his room. Jaejoong lounged on his bed, rolling his eyes every two minutes.
“Would you calm down? Junsu isn’t stupid enough to say no to you.”
“What if he does?”
“He won’t.”
“What if he does?”
“Oh my god, I am going to leave if you keep asking me that. He won’t. Now sit the fuck down.”
Yoochun sat in his desk chair and put his head in his hands. “What if he’s right, Jae? What if I can’t do this? What if my family freaks out, what if I break his heart and everything falls apart and we lose each other?”
“Then you’re both stupid. Now are you going to listen to me, or what?”
Yoochun sighed. “Fine, talk.”
“Okay, first off. Sex.”
“Jae, don’t.” Yoochun shut his eyes. “I … If we talk about it, I’m going to jump Junsu as soon as he walks in the door, and I told him we were going to talk.”
“So you want to have sex with him?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for two days, kicking myself in the ass for not noticing how gorgeous he is. I mean, he’s always been attractive but now he’s …” Yoochun waved his hand in the air.
Jaejoong smirked. “Yeah, I know, but--” He broke off with a sigh. “Junsu is going to kill me for telling you this. He won’t admit it, at least not to me, but the main reason he’s so worried is that he’s a virgin.”
Yoochun blinked. “And? I already knew that. He would have told me if he’d had sex.”
“Really? Would he? You’re both so stupid.”
“We’re best friends. He would have.”
“Junsu is gay, Chunnie. Do you honestly think he would have told you about having sex? You would have wanted to know who it was with and you would have wanted to know details, and you think he’s going to give you gay sex details when he’s trying to hide that from you?”
“Point.”
“He’s only had one boyfriend. An older guy that he met in the city, and well … he hurt him. Bad.”
Yoochun sat up quickly and stared. “What?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “Junsu made me promise not to tell you, because you didn’t know he was gay and …”
Yoochun held up his hand. “A year ago, when he had that black eye and those bruises on his chest. He said he got in fight with Junho.”
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah. Junsu refused to have sex with him, because he was so in love with you and the guy … well, yeah, I’m not going to say anymore than that, okay, he’s already going to kill me for saying that, but don’t pressure him. At all. Don’t even do the Yoochun thing.”
“The Yoochun thing? What is that?” he asked.
“The greasy pick up line, give them a smile, hum them a tune in their ear and then try to move in for a kiss.”
“Oh. I do that, don’t I?” Yoochun thought back to Junsu’s reactions to his note about sex in class.
“Yeah, you do. You’re good at it. That smile of yours gets you laid a lot, but it won’t work with Junsu. First of all, because he’s used to it, and he’s seen you do it, and it’ll hurt him because you’re ‘pulling a move’ on him. It’ll only make him more distrustful of your advances. Junsu’s been hit on a lot the last couple years. When we go to clubs and stuff in the city. Men love to dance with him.”
Something close to red hot fury ran through Yoochun as he thought of some other guy dancing with Junsu. Yoochun had seen Junsu dance, but now he wondered what it was like to dance with that body pressed against his.
“Junsu is my best friend,” Yoochun said. “This is his decision, because I’ve already made mine. I want to be with him. He knows that. And I would never hurt him, ever.”
Jaejoong grinned. “Good. Now. Sex.”
“Jaejoong.”
“No, I am going to have this talk with you because you’ve only been gay for three days. You do realize that guys don’t have the wonderful ability to naturally lubricate their sex holes like girls do? Use lube. Do you have lube?”
“Of course I have lube, and sex holes? Really, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Well, ass holes just sounds so dirty.”
Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, it does. And I do I know that sex holes don’t naturally lubricate like a girl’s does. I do play with myself, you know.”
Jaejoong’s lips spread in a slow smirk. “No, I did not know, but that is very interesting.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes again. “God, would you stop? You want me to be even more explicit?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Fuck yes.”
Laughing, Yoochun stood up and suddenly tackled Jaejoong to the bed. His fingers dug into Jaejoong’s sides until Jaejoong was laughing and gasping and begging for him to stop. “Yes, Jaejoong, these fingers torturing your body have been in my ass, lubed up and moving in and out of me. Three of them even.”
Jaejoong finally used his strength and pushed Yoochun off him. “You fucking pervert.”
Yoochun shoved him with his foot. “I dare you not to think about it the next time Changmin has his fingers inside you. Or is that Yunho’s job now?”
Jaejoong sighed,and his smile fell.
Yoochun nudged him again. “Troubles in threesome with the class president paradise?”
“He’s having second thoughts.”
“I’m sure Changmin can fuck those away.”
Jaejoong stood up. “Fuck you. I’m getting out of here. I told Min I’d cook him dinner tonight. Just remember the lube thing. Oh, and Junsu is a bottom, no if ands or … butts, about that.” Jae laughed at his own joke. “So as much as you love your fingers in you, Junsu probably won’t ever top you.”
Yoochun shrugged. “That’s okay. I have a dildo.”
Jaejoong’s eyes bugged. “What? Since when?”
“I bought one last year.”
“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Because you would start fantasizing about me and that’s not fair to Changmin.”
“Fuck off, you arrogant bastard, so now what? Are you gay, or aren’t you? Are you only gay for Junsu? I’m so confused.”
“Jae, come on. I tell you all the time. Being gay isn’t dictated by what you like to put in your ass.”
“Actually that’s exactly what it’s dictated by.”
“No, it’s not. Not to me. To me, you’re not gay. You’re Jaejoong. Changmin is Changmin. Junsu is Junsu. What society deems as your sexual orientation does not dictate who you are to me. I tell you and Min all the time that gender doesn’t matter. I told Junsu that. I’ve always believed that, but I hadn’t ever wanted to date a guy because I compared them all to Junsu. I wanted to date Junsu, or at least, find a guy like Junsu. And I’ll let you on in a secret. When I first started messing around, experimenting with myself, I always wanted Junsu there to help, but I figured he would have freaked out about it.”
Jae opened his mouth and then shook his head. “Yep. You’re both stupid.”
Yoochun threw a pillow at him.
“Call me later,” Jae said and threw it back. He left the room.
Yoochun put it behind his head. He sat there, arms above his head thinking of Junsu and the information Jaejoong had given him. How dare that man hurt his Junsu? How dare he! One day, Yoochun was going to get Junsu to tell him who it was and he was going to go cut off the guy’s dick. No one hurt his Junsu. No one.
Except for you. Maybe.
Yoochun sighed. He did not want to hurt Junsu, at all. Junsu was afraid of Yoochun breaking his heart. But now that he’d had time to think about it, it made so much sense to him. He’d always loved Junsu. Junsu was the first person he wanted to talk to in the morning. Junsu was always the first person he called when he had news. Being attracted to Junsu hadn’t ever crossed his mind. Not until he’d seen that mark on his neck and knew he’d put it there. It was like Junsu was finally all his. All of him.
He looked at his clock. God, three more hours. Three more …
“Fuck it.”
He had a feeling that as soon as he saw Junsu he was going to jump him anyway, and the thought of Junsu below him, skin sweaty, hair plastered to his face as Yoochun took his virginity was making it hard to think. And it was making something else hard.
Yoochun made sure his door was locked and then ripped his clothes off, eager to be naked while thoughts of Junsu filtered through his mind. After only two strokes, he was rock-hard and precome pearled from the tip of his dick. He moaned as he spread it around the head with his thumb, pushing into the slit. He’d seen Junsu naked, fuck, they’d even showered together before. But beyond admiring Junsu’s ass, he hadn’t really thought about anything else. Now he did. He wondered what his skin felt like, what his skin tasted like. He wondered how those hips would move against him.
“Oh, god,” Yoochun moaned and stroked his cock. So Junsu was a bottom, but it’s not like Junsu wouldn’t ever finger him. Yoochun was sure that if said he wanted Junsu to, the other would. And he wanted him to so much.
Too blown to reach for lube, Yoochun sucked on his finger, covering it with spit as his other hand continued to fly over his dick. It was quick and easy to orgasm thinking of Junsu. He’d found out that this weekend. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d jerked off the last two days to thoughts of Junsu’s body. He’d fucked girls in the ass before, so it was easy to imagine what it would look like with Junsu’s plump ass under him. Yoochun slipped his finger inside himself as he thought of Junsu on his knees, head lowered to the bed. And it was Junsu’s ass he was preparing. Junsu’s body quivering and his moans filling the room.
His orgasm rushed through him and Yoochun finger-fucked himself faster even as his hand slowed down. He drew out that moment before orgasm, that moment of painful anticipation and then it shattered with a loud cry and warm come covered Yoochun’s stomach and hand. He lowered his legs and let his finger slip from his body.
Yoochun sighed and brought his hand to his mouth. He licked his fingers, only wincing a tiny bit. He wanted to get used to that taste because he was definitely planning on sucking on Junsu’s dick until the guy came. Now that was something he hadn’t done, even with his dildo. He thought for a moment about taking it out and trying it out, but decided not to. The first time he had a cock in his mouth, he wanted it to be Junsu’s, not some silicon fake thing.
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and then stood up. His knees shook. The last two days of jerking off thinking of Junsu made walking almost impossible afterward. He staggered to his bathroom to shower. He showered quickly because thinking of Junsu in the shower would have caused another problem to be taken care of.
He dried off and then stood in front of his closet, wondering what to wear. Yes, it was just Junsu, but should he dress up since he was trying to make an impression? Naw, Junsu would see right through that. He thought of wearing just sweats, like he normally would, but again, Junsu may have taken that as something sexual. Yoochun sighed and for the lack of any better ideas, just put on the same outfit he’d worn to school. These were his “I love Junsu” jeans anyway. Besides, Junsu didn’t need to know that Yoochun had just jerked off thinking about fingering him and had to take a shower to clean up.
Trying to keep his mind off of Junsu, he pulled out his calculus homework, but calculus was too boring. He wrote Junsu’s name in the margins complete with hearts and wrote stupid equations like Yoochun+Junsu = Love. It was silly, but true. He put his head on his math book and sighed. He really hoped Junsu would … would be his boyfriend? say yes? kiss him … what did all this mean?
Yoochun growled in frustration and stood up. He paced again, and went back to thinking about what Jaejoong had so easily discounted. Junsu’s text hadn’t been … excited, there was no smiley face. Nothing. Just a “yes, I’ll come over to talk to you”, but that could be bad, right? Junsu could say that he wasn’t willing to risk everything.
Was Yoochun?
Yoochun nodded. Yes. He was. He would do anything for Junsu.
He put his face in his hands. “Oh, god, what if he doesn’t want me?” he whispered out loud.
He dropped heavily to the floor and crossed his legs and rocked back and forth. His heart couldn’t handle it if Junsu didn’t want him. Junsu was him, was his heart and everything he needed.
True, he hadn’t figured that out until Saturday morning, but better late than never. Junsu meant the world to him.
He looked at his clock. Another hour. He was not going to survive another hour like this. He reached under his mattress and found the little baggie full of green relief. He pulled his calculus book off his desk. At least it would be of some use today. He leaned on his bed, cross legged, the book propped up on his knees. He took out a bud and broke it up, separating out a few stems and seeds from the leaves. Carefully, he peeled off the next paper, making sure not to tear it. He curled it around his finger and then piled the weed in the trough. As soon as he was sure he had enough to get him pleasantly buzzed enough to be able to deal with this mess of emotions, he rolled it up, licked the sticky strip and pressed it tight. He twisted the ends and then set the book on the floor.
He fished his lighter out of his pocket, put the blunt between his lips and lit it. Smoking weed wouldn’t stop him from thinking of Junsu (a little hard when the first person he ever got high with was Junsu), but at least he’d be artificially happy while he was thinking of all the ways Junsu could break his heart.
Part 4: First Kiss
Part 2: First Love
Part 1: First Bite
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Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu (minor Jaejoong/Yunho/Changmin)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd totally get stoned with them.
Summary: Yoochun finds out that Junsu tastes like peppermint and fresh snow. He also finds out that Junsu has wanted to taste him for years. So why is he suddenly resisting?
WARNING: Minor drug use (just weed)
A/N: This is a birthday fic for mexicananallama Her birthday was WEEKS ago. She gave me the gif that's about half way through the first part as inspriation. Sorry this took so long darling. It will be four parts! I hope you like it. ♥♥♥♥
Yes, it's four parts now, but THAT'S IT! I PROMISE!
Poster credit goes to inrukisarms! Thank you, darling!
Part 3: From Yoochun's POV
Yoochun was nervous. Not like … nervous, nervous. Just a little anxious. Junsu had sent him a text saying that yes, he would come over to talk. He paced his room. Jaejoong lounged on his bed, rolling his eyes every two minutes.
“Would you calm down? Junsu isn’t stupid enough to say no to you.”
“What if he does?”
“He won’t.”
“What if he does?”
“Oh my god, I am going to leave if you keep asking me that. He won’t. Now sit the fuck down.”
Yoochun sat in his desk chair and put his head in his hands. “What if he’s right, Jae? What if I can’t do this? What if my family freaks out, what if I break his heart and everything falls apart and we lose each other?”
“Then you’re both stupid. Now are you going to listen to me, or what?”
Yoochun sighed. “Fine, talk.”
“Okay, first off. Sex.”
“Jae, don’t.” Yoochun shut his eyes. “I … If we talk about it, I’m going to jump Junsu as soon as he walks in the door, and I told him we were going to talk.”
“So you want to have sex with him?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for two days, kicking myself in the ass for not noticing how gorgeous he is. I mean, he’s always been attractive but now he’s …” Yoochun waved his hand in the air.
Jaejoong smirked. “Yeah, I know, but--” He broke off with a sigh. “Junsu is going to kill me for telling you this. He won’t admit it, at least not to me, but the main reason he’s so worried is that he’s a virgin.”
Yoochun blinked. “And? I already knew that. He would have told me if he’d had sex.”
“Really? Would he? You’re both so stupid.”
“We’re best friends. He would have.”
“Junsu is gay, Chunnie. Do you honestly think he would have told you about having sex? You would have wanted to know who it was with and you would have wanted to know details, and you think he’s going to give you gay sex details when he’s trying to hide that from you?”
“Point.”
“He’s only had one boyfriend. An older guy that he met in the city, and well … he hurt him. Bad.”
Yoochun sat up quickly and stared. “What?”
Jaejoong shrugged. “Junsu made me promise not to tell you, because you didn’t know he was gay and …”
Yoochun held up his hand. “A year ago, when he had that black eye and those bruises on his chest. He said he got in fight with Junho.”
Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah. Junsu refused to have sex with him, because he was so in love with you and the guy … well, yeah, I’m not going to say anymore than that, okay, he’s already going to kill me for saying that, but don’t pressure him. At all. Don’t even do the Yoochun thing.”
“The Yoochun thing? What is that?” he asked.
“The greasy pick up line, give them a smile, hum them a tune in their ear and then try to move in for a kiss.”
“Oh. I do that, don’t I?” Yoochun thought back to Junsu’s reactions to his note about sex in class.
“Yeah, you do. You’re good at it. That smile of yours gets you laid a lot, but it won’t work with Junsu. First of all, because he’s used to it, and he’s seen you do it, and it’ll hurt him because you’re ‘pulling a move’ on him. It’ll only make him more distrustful of your advances. Junsu’s been hit on a lot the last couple years. When we go to clubs and stuff in the city. Men love to dance with him.”
Something close to red hot fury ran through Yoochun as he thought of some other guy dancing with Junsu. Yoochun had seen Junsu dance, but now he wondered what it was like to dance with that body pressed against his.
“Junsu is my best friend,” Yoochun said. “This is his decision, because I’ve already made mine. I want to be with him. He knows that. And I would never hurt him, ever.”
Jaejoong grinned. “Good. Now. Sex.”
“Jaejoong.”
“No, I am going to have this talk with you because you’ve only been gay for three days. You do realize that guys don’t have the wonderful ability to naturally lubricate their sex holes like girls do? Use lube. Do you have lube?”
“Of course I have lube, and sex holes? Really, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Well, ass holes just sounds so dirty.”
Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, it does. And I do I know that sex holes don’t naturally lubricate like a girl’s does. I do play with myself, you know.”
Jaejoong’s lips spread in a slow smirk. “No, I did not know, but that is very interesting.”
Yoochun rolled his eyes again. “God, would you stop? You want me to be even more explicit?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Fuck yes.”
Laughing, Yoochun stood up and suddenly tackled Jaejoong to the bed. His fingers dug into Jaejoong’s sides until Jaejoong was laughing and gasping and begging for him to stop. “Yes, Jaejoong, these fingers torturing your body have been in my ass, lubed up and moving in and out of me. Three of them even.”
Jaejoong finally used his strength and pushed Yoochun off him. “You fucking pervert.”
Yoochun shoved him with his foot. “I dare you not to think about it the next time Changmin has his fingers inside you. Or is that Yunho’s job now?”
Jaejoong sighed,and his smile fell.
Yoochun nudged him again. “Troubles in threesome with the class president paradise?”
“He’s having second thoughts.”
“I’m sure Changmin can fuck those away.”
Jaejoong stood up. “Fuck you. I’m getting out of here. I told Min I’d cook him dinner tonight. Just remember the lube thing. Oh, and Junsu is a bottom, no if ands or … butts, about that.” Jae laughed at his own joke. “So as much as you love your fingers in you, Junsu probably won’t ever top you.”
Yoochun shrugged. “That’s okay. I have a dildo.”
Jaejoong’s eyes bugged. “What? Since when?”
“I bought one last year.”
“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Because you would start fantasizing about me and that’s not fair to Changmin.”
“Fuck off, you arrogant bastard, so now what? Are you gay, or aren’t you? Are you only gay for Junsu? I’m so confused.”
“Jae, come on. I tell you all the time. Being gay isn’t dictated by what you like to put in your ass.”
“Actually that’s exactly what it’s dictated by.”
“No, it’s not. Not to me. To me, you’re not gay. You’re Jaejoong. Changmin is Changmin. Junsu is Junsu. What society deems as your sexual orientation does not dictate who you are to me. I tell you and Min all the time that gender doesn’t matter. I told Junsu that. I’ve always believed that, but I hadn’t ever wanted to date a guy because I compared them all to Junsu. I wanted to date Junsu, or at least, find a guy like Junsu. And I’ll let you on in a secret. When I first started messing around, experimenting with myself, I always wanted Junsu there to help, but I figured he would have freaked out about it.”
Jae opened his mouth and then shook his head. “Yep. You’re both stupid.”
Yoochun threw a pillow at him.
“Call me later,” Jae said and threw it back. He left the room.
Yoochun put it behind his head. He sat there, arms above his head thinking of Junsu and the information Jaejoong had given him. How dare that man hurt his Junsu? How dare he! One day, Yoochun was going to get Junsu to tell him who it was and he was going to go cut off the guy’s dick. No one hurt his Junsu. No one.
Except for you. Maybe.
Yoochun sighed. He did not want to hurt Junsu, at all. Junsu was afraid of Yoochun breaking his heart. But now that he’d had time to think about it, it made so much sense to him. He’d always loved Junsu. Junsu was the first person he wanted to talk to in the morning. Junsu was always the first person he called when he had news. Being attracted to Junsu hadn’t ever crossed his mind. Not until he’d seen that mark on his neck and knew he’d put it there. It was like Junsu was finally all his. All of him.
He looked at his clock. God, three more hours. Three more …
“Fuck it.”
He had a feeling that as soon as he saw Junsu he was going to jump him anyway, and the thought of Junsu below him, skin sweaty, hair plastered to his face as Yoochun took his virginity was making it hard to think. And it was making something else hard.
Yoochun made sure his door was locked and then ripped his clothes off, eager to be naked while thoughts of Junsu filtered through his mind. After only two strokes, he was rock-hard and precome pearled from the tip of his dick. He moaned as he spread it around the head with his thumb, pushing into the slit. He’d seen Junsu naked, fuck, they’d even showered together before. But beyond admiring Junsu’s ass, he hadn’t really thought about anything else. Now he did. He wondered what his skin felt like, what his skin tasted like. He wondered how those hips would move against him.
“Oh, god,” Yoochun moaned and stroked his cock. So Junsu was a bottom, but it’s not like Junsu wouldn’t ever finger him. Yoochun was sure that if said he wanted Junsu to, the other would. And he wanted him to so much.
Too blown to reach for lube, Yoochun sucked on his finger, covering it with spit as his other hand continued to fly over his dick. It was quick and easy to orgasm thinking of Junsu. He’d found out that this weekend. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d jerked off the last two days to thoughts of Junsu’s body. He’d fucked girls in the ass before, so it was easy to imagine what it would look like with Junsu’s plump ass under him. Yoochun slipped his finger inside himself as he thought of Junsu on his knees, head lowered to the bed. And it was Junsu’s ass he was preparing. Junsu’s body quivering and his moans filling the room.
His orgasm rushed through him and Yoochun finger-fucked himself faster even as his hand slowed down. He drew out that moment before orgasm, that moment of painful anticipation and then it shattered with a loud cry and warm come covered Yoochun’s stomach and hand. He lowered his legs and let his finger slip from his body.
Yoochun sighed and brought his hand to his mouth. He licked his fingers, only wincing a tiny bit. He wanted to get used to that taste because he was definitely planning on sucking on Junsu’s dick until the guy came. Now that was something he hadn’t done, even with his dildo. He thought for a moment about taking it out and trying it out, but decided not to. The first time he had a cock in his mouth, he wanted it to be Junsu’s, not some silicon fake thing.
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and then stood up. His knees shook. The last two days of jerking off thinking of Junsu made walking almost impossible afterward. He staggered to his bathroom to shower. He showered quickly because thinking of Junsu in the shower would have caused another problem to be taken care of.
He dried off and then stood in front of his closet, wondering what to wear. Yes, it was just Junsu, but should he dress up since he was trying to make an impression? Naw, Junsu would see right through that. He thought of wearing just sweats, like he normally would, but again, Junsu may have taken that as something sexual. Yoochun sighed and for the lack of any better ideas, just put on the same outfit he’d worn to school. These were his “I love Junsu” jeans anyway. Besides, Junsu didn’t need to know that Yoochun had just jerked off thinking about fingering him and had to take a shower to clean up.
Trying to keep his mind off of Junsu, he pulled out his calculus homework, but calculus was too boring. He wrote Junsu’s name in the margins complete with hearts and wrote stupid equations like Yoochun+Junsu = Love. It was silly, but true. He put his head on his math book and sighed. He really hoped Junsu would … would be his boyfriend? say yes? kiss him … what did all this mean?
Yoochun growled in frustration and stood up. He paced again, and went back to thinking about what Jaejoong had so easily discounted. Junsu’s text hadn’t been … excited, there was no smiley face. Nothing. Just a “yes, I’ll come over to talk to you”, but that could be bad, right? Junsu could say that he wasn’t willing to risk everything.
Was Yoochun?
Yoochun nodded. Yes. He was. He would do anything for Junsu.
He put his face in his hands. “Oh, god, what if he doesn’t want me?” he whispered out loud.
He dropped heavily to the floor and crossed his legs and rocked back and forth. His heart couldn’t handle it if Junsu didn’t want him. Junsu was him, was his heart and everything he needed.
True, he hadn’t figured that out until Saturday morning, but better late than never. Junsu meant the world to him.
He looked at his clock. Another hour. He was not going to survive another hour like this. He reached under his mattress and found the little baggie full of green relief. He pulled his calculus book off his desk. At least it would be of some use today. He leaned on his bed, cross legged, the book propped up on his knees. He took out a bud and broke it up, separating out a few stems and seeds from the leaves. Carefully, he peeled off the next paper, making sure not to tear it. He curled it around his finger and then piled the weed in the trough. As soon as he was sure he had enough to get him pleasantly buzzed enough to be able to deal with this mess of emotions, he rolled it up, licked the sticky strip and pressed it tight. He twisted the ends and then set the book on the floor.
He fished his lighter out of his pocket, put the blunt between his lips and lit it. Smoking weed wouldn’t stop him from thinking of Junsu (a little hard when the first person he ever got high with was Junsu), but at least he’d be artificially happy while he was thinking of all the ways Junsu could break his heart.
Part 4: First Kiss
Part 2: First Love
Part 1: First Bite
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