for telaryn: Operation Seduce an Avenger
A Gift From: celeste9
Type Of Gift: Fic
Title: Operation Seduce an Avenger
A Gift For: telaryn
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild language, sexual situations, threesome
Summary/Prompt Used: When Natasha elicits interest in their fellow Avengers’ skills in the bedroom, Clint decides a threesome would be an excellent idea. Steve won’t even know what hit him.
Author's Note: I couldn’t resist the entertainment value of this prompt, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also thank you to my lovely beta, who shall remain anon for the moment.
banner by frea_o
“What do you think Thor’s like in bed?”
Clint hesitated, giving Natasha an opening to swipe his legs from beneath him, knocking him onto the training mat. Which he realized had probably been her intent all along. He rolled away from her and sprang back up to his feet. “What?”
Natasha kept chattering away, voice still perfectly even though they’d been sparring for a good half hour by then. “Do you think the fact he’s a god is an asset or a hindrance? Do you think he concentrates too much on being gentle? Do you think he’s an example of pretty boys not trying enough, or is that negated because, like I said, god?”
“I think you should stop talking so much about stuff I’ve never wanted as a mental image,” Clint said, aiming a right hook at Natasha’s jaw. “Also you should just ask Jane.”
She ducked, smirking faintly. “She just blushes and runs away from me.”
“Oh my God,” Clint said, and wondered why he was even surprised. “Why the sudden interest in our resident thunder god’s prowess in the sack, anyway?”
“Curious,” Natasha said, dancing away from him. “How about Tony? Obviously he’d talk too much.”
“But he’s really good with his hands.”
Natasha paused a moment, clearly acknowledging the validity of Clint’s statement, before leveling a kick at Clint’s head. She was way too flexible, seriously.
No, Clint took that back, barely biting back a grin at a few memories surging to the forefront of his mind. Natasha was definitely not too flexible.
Behind Natasha’s head Clint saw Steve walk in, waving at them as he strode over to the punching bag in the back. “Steve,” Clint said, because how could he not?
“Virgin,” Natasha replied.
Clint couldn’t help but let himself be distracted, glancing over to Steve again. Damn but the man had a fine ass, and Clint dared a person alive not to notice and think the same thing. “You think?”
Natasha popped him on the jaw and he winced, focus jerking back to her.
“Not entirely by design, I imagine,” she said.
Well, that was depressing. Still. “All those Captain America groupies, and you think he’s still a virgin?”
Natasha was making her disappointed face at him.
Oh, right. This was Captain America they were talking about. Model of respectfulness and righteousness and good behavior. He wasn’t one to take advantage. Not that Clint would take advantage of any Hawkeye groupies. If such a person existed. Not even if they were hot, and it was totally consensual, and he wasn’t currently in love with Natasha. Right.
Moving on. “So, okay, virgin, but I’m willing to bet he’s a fast learner.”
“And very giving,” Natasha added. “Attentive. Eager to please.”
“Aw, like a puppy,” Clint said, grinning. “And Bruce? You know what they say about the quiet ones.”
“I would imagine Bruce likes to maintain a certain degree of... control,” Natasha said, something flickering across her face too quickly for Clint to place.
“Way to kill the mood.”
“And the prospect of waking up next to a giant green rage monster doesn’t do that on its own?”
“Point,” Clint allowed. “Still. It’s a bit unfair. It’s like saying Bruce doesn’t deserve to have sex with anyone because sometimes he gets mad and turns into the Hulk.”
“I’m not saying that,” Natasha said, and she stepped back away from Clint in a tacit request to take a break. “I’m saying... It’s something that needs to be considered, if you’re Bruce, or if you’re the person who wants to sleep with Bruce.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s something Bruce ever forgets,” Clint said. He took a few swallows of semi-cold water from his water bottle and toweled off his face.
In the background he could hear the thudding of Steve’s fists against the punching bag. Natasha was standing quietly, her fingers curled around her own water bottle. S.H.I.E.L.D. issue, with the logo on the side.
“Bet we could seduce one of them if we wanted,” Clint said, not really thinking about what he was saying.
“Obviously,” Natasha said, glancing towards him.
“It might be fun.”
Natasha arched an eyebrow.
“We could call it a training exercise?” Clint tried.
She was laughing at him inside, Clint could tell. “Am I boring you, Barton? Is this your way of saying we need to spice things up?”
“Fuck no,” Clint said. His denial was purely a reaction, but it was true. Natasha was... Well, if she was anything, it was the opposite of boring. He was pretty sure he couldn’t get tired of her if they were the only two people left on the planet.
“So why the sudden interest in sleeping with one of our teammates? Which, may I remind you, has the potential to go catastrophically wrong. Not everyone is as professional as we are.” She paused. “Okay, as I am.”
“I don’t know,” Clint said, which was pretty much true. “Curiosity, I guess, like you said before. I just... I think it would be fun.”
“It would be,” Natasha acceded.
“I don’t think it’s likely to go ‘catastrophically wrong’. I mean, it won’t be anything serious. Right? They’ll get that.”
“I suppose.”
“Coulson is always going on about team bonding,” Clint wheedled.
Natasha’s eyes were glinting in that way that meant she thought Clint was ridiculous but still amusing. “I’m not sure this is quite what he had in mind.”
“Since when have we ever done exactly what he had in mind?”
“Wouldn’t do to stop surprising him,” Natasha said, and Clint knew he had won.
“We have to pick one, then. Unless you want to try for an orgy?” Clint was fairly sure he might have sounded a tad hopeful when he said that.
Declining to dignify that with a response, Natasha said instead, “Not Tony. Too easy, and Pepper is not someone you want to cross.”
“Okay, then if we’re respecting relationship boundaries, that rules out Thor, too.”
Natasha nodded. “Probably best not to find out how fertile a fertility god really is, anyway.”
Clint winced. “Agreed.” He thought for a bit and then was struck by the obvious. They were going about this in entirely the wrong way.
“Nat,” he said. “Who do you want to seduce?”
She simply looked at him. Then her eyes slid over to Steve.
Clint grinned.
Popping Captain America’s cherry was going to take some finesse. He was old-fashioned and respectable and he needed to be wooed.
Clint was never going to forgive himself for using the word ‘woo’, even if it was only in his head.
The change in Natasha’s attitude towards Steve was subtle. Seduction was part of her trade, after all. There was nothing overt; she didn’t throw herself at him like she sometimes did with the sleazier of her marks. She didn’t dress any differently. What she did do was use Steve’s name more often, in that low, sexy voice that was completely natural. She inserted herself into his space, standing just a little bit closer, touching him more than was necessary.
It was as if she was simply reminding Steve of her sexuality, reminding him that she was more than simply his teammate. She was a woman, and an incredibly beautiful woman at that. Clint was personally of the opinion that only a man who was one hundred percent gay could fail to be attracted to Natasha, and he wasn’t sure he believed a person could be one hundred percent anything.
For Clint, it was harder. He wasn’t even sure Steve was into men. At least he didn’t think Steve would be horrified at the idea. Steve was a pretty open-minded guy, and Captain America had always been known for qualities like tolerance and acceptance to go along with courage and strength and all that.
But while Clint’s fame within S.H.I.E.L.D. was mostly as a marksman, he had experience undercover as well, and he had had to use his God-given assets a time or two, the same as Natasha. He was maybe not as subtle as Natasha, and let her laugh at him when his tactics included purposely running into Steve in the locker room (generally wet or sweaty with a minimum of clothing), but he had definitely caught Steve looking so he figured it was worth it.
They both started asking Steve to be their sparring partner more often. There was something to be said for getting heated and sweaty with a person in a work-sanctioned activity, and it allowed them to get their hands all over him in, again, a work-sanctioned activity. Plus, in a completely unrelated bonus, it was good for both Clint and Natasha to get more practice in against an opponent with Steve’s unnaturally enhanced skills.
Once, they let Steve catch them kissing in the kitchen at the Tower. Though obviously they knew exactly the moment when he stepped through the doorway, they pretended to be unaware until Steve coughed politely to alert them to his presence. They purposely let the kiss linger a bit longer before Natasha hopped down from where she’d been sitting on the countertop between Clint’s legs.
“Sorry,” Steve said, but Natasha only let her fingertips brush over Steve’s chest as she moved around him and into the hall.
Clint winked at Steve and followed after Natasha. Just… giving Steve something to think about, that was all.
Of course, getting Steve to think about Clint and Natasha as sexual beings was one thing. Getting him to actually consider having sex with them was something completely different.
“Maybe we should get him flowers,” Clint said one night over pizza.
“Being from the forties doesn’t make him a girl,” Natasha said.
“Guys can like flowers!” Clint insisted. Not that he particularly cared about them. “A plant. We could get him a nice plant, for his apartment.”
Natasha hummed, considering. “Maybe. That idea isn’t terrible.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you know you love my terrible ideas.”
Natasha’s smile was like the edge of a knife, sharp and deadly. “Those are your best ones.”
“I know what you guys are doing,” Steve said. He was holding the potted plant Clint had just handed to him. It was a cactus. Clint had been assured that it was virtually impossible to kill a cactus, so it would be perfect for a person with Captain America’s schedule.
“Giving you a housewarming present?” Clint said.
“Would you have preferred something baked?” Natasha asked.
Steve boggled at her for a few seconds.
“You’ve clearly never had Nat’s Christmas cookies,” Clint said. “They’re a legend at S.H.I.E.L.D.” Truly. The junior agents told stories about them like they were a myth because they couldn’t comprehend the Black Widow baking. Natasha only made them for people she liked. It was a short list.
“Um,” Steve said. “I mean, uh, this.” He gestured vaguely with the pot. “You’re flirting with me, right?” He said it with a touch of uncertainty, like the idea of someone flirting with him was still an incomprehensible notion.
“We were thinking more on the lines of a seduction, but flirting works, too,” Natasha said.
“Um,” Steve said again. “I’m flattered?”
“We were gonna buy you dinner first, don’t worry,” Clint said.
“It would have been expensive,” Natasha added. “We would have let you pick a bottle off the wine list.”
“And let you order an appetizer and dessert.”
Steve set the pot down so he could cross his arms in front of his chest. “You think dessert would get me in your bed?”
“We were willing to go with the flow,” Natasha said. “See how it played out.”
“Do you… do this sort of thing a lot? Coax people into bed with you?”
Clint and Natasha exchanged a look.
“No,” Natasha answered, her eyes saying much more than her reply did. They did kink, but not generally like this. “We don’t.”
Steve actually did look flattered, then. “So what’s special about me?”
“The fact that you’re Captain America and yet still have to ask that, for one,” Clint said, which made Steve blush. “Also, that. That’s adorable.”
“Adorable,” Natasha agreed.
“You know, I…” Steve swallowed, and wouldn’t look either of them completely in the face. “You don’t really have to seduce me. You could have just asked.”
Huh. That was a novel idea. “You wanna join us for a threesome, Cap?” Clint asked.
So that was how they ended up undressing Steve in the bedroom of one of the safehouses they kept (this one was Natasha’s, for the record, and it had the largest mattress) because Steve didn’t want his neighbors talking and the three of them entering a bedroom together in the Tower and not leaving until the next day was not a sight they needed Tony Stark aware of.
They had Steve on his back (and exactly where Clint wanted him, frankly) when he said, “I’m not a virgin, you know.”
Clint sat back on his heels. “What?”
“It’s just… I kind of thought you might be under the impression I was.” <
Clint looked at Natasha, who merely shrugged. “You slept with Agent Carter?” Clint said. Because, okay, mind blown.
“What? No!” Steve looked the tiniest bit offended, like he thought Clint was impugning Peggy Carter’s honor or something. After that initial reaction, though, his expression morphed into something wistful and sad. “Peggy and me... We never did get our dance. But Bucky? We did our fair share of dancing.”
“And when you say dancing, you don’t mean dancing.”
While Steve shook his head, Natasha rolled her eyes and said, “Gee, Clint, thanks for clearing that one up.”
Clint ignored her. “Wait, Bucky?” It took Clint a second to place the name because he wasn’t a huge geek like Coulson. When he did, though, a dozen possible jokes mostly revolving around superheroes and their sidekicks came to mind, but he managed to restrain himself because he wasn’t that tactless.
Instead he said, “You had sex with a dude?” Clint had never claimed that he wasn’t at all tactless.
“Contrary to what most people these days seem to think, men did have sex with other men in the forties,” Steve said.
“So you’re gay?”
“No? I mean, Bucky was my... But I like dames, too. Er, women,” Steve said, giving Natasha a slightly bashful look.
Seriously, if Clint could look like that, he would have so much sex. Clearly Steve’s gifts were wasted on him.
“That’s fortunate,” Natasha said, trailing one long fingernail down the center of Steve’s chest. “Because I was hoping to participate more than simply watching while the two of you have all the fun.”
Steve swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that would be okay.”
“You know how Tony likes to make inappropriately sexual jokes?” Clint said, much later, sweaty and tired and sore in all the best ways. “If he only knew that Steve actually can go all night like the Energizer bunny, he would never shut up.”
“God bless the super soldier serum,” Natasha said, pushing a lock of red hair out of her eyes.
“You’re welcome?” Steve said, tugging the sheet over his lap. “Or, um, thank you? I don’t really know what the protocol is for this, er, sort of thing.”
“I don’t think there is one, Steve.”
“So… Is this when I leave? Is it awkward if I have to ask? I was probably just supposed to put my clothes on and go, wasn’t I?”
“No,” Clint and Natasha both said simultaneously, Natasha reaching out to curl her fingers around Steve’s wrist.
Steve stopped trying to get up, looking from one to the other of them.
“Hey,” Clint said, attempting to quell the awkwardness that had actually arisen. “After that, I think it’s only fair you stay and let us make you breakfast in the morning. Natasha makes the best pancakes.”
“It’s true,” Natasha agreed.
“She’ll put a smiley face on them if you ask really nicely.”
“Only because I like you.”
Steve’s small smile was nervous. “That would be nice.”
“Awesome,” Clint said, and pushed Steve back down onto the bed. “Now, fair warning, Natasha kicks and I hog the covers. Also I can’t guarantee I won’t wake you up for a quickie before it’s light outside.”
“It’s more a guarantee that he will wake you up,” Natasha said, and Clint stuck his tongue out at her. “You’re a child,” she said in response, prompting Clint to blow her a raspberry.
“I don’t think I’d mind,” Steve said, letting Clint and Natasha push him around while they arranged themselves in the bed.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Clint said, curving his arm around Natasha’s slim form and closing his eyes contentedly.
They got in that quickie, and Steve stayed for breakfast. Natasha put a smiley face on the top of his stack of pancakes (and on the top of his second stack, and his third, because damn could that man pack away the calories) because he was so polite. Clint had to resort to making puppy eyes in order to earn his smiley face. Natasha claimed it was ineffective and she was only relenting because she felt sorry for him.
After Steve had gone, Clint stretched his arms overhead and said, “Well, I gotta say, I think Operation Seduce an Avenger was a big success.”
Natasha gave him an unimpressed look. “Please don’t ever use that phrase again. You make us sound like a couple of pervs with too much time on our hands, out to corrupt those poor, heroic Avengers.”
“Yeah, but the first part’s probably true, and the last part definitely is, and it has been way too long since we’ve been on a mission.”
“All right, maybe,” Natasha relented. “But you’re a much bigger perv than I am.”
“Fair enough,” Clint said. “So… Let’s say New York stays boring and lacking in alien invasions, and we still don’t get sent off on a mission. How long till we see if Bruce is susceptible to our skills?”
“Perv,” Natasha said, but she was smiling all the same.
End
Type Of Gift: Fic
Title: Operation Seduce an Avenger
A Gift For: telaryn
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild language, sexual situations, threesome
Summary/Prompt Used: When Natasha elicits interest in their fellow Avengers’ skills in the bedroom, Clint decides a threesome would be an excellent idea. Steve won’t even know what hit him.
Author's Note: I couldn’t resist the entertainment value of this prompt, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also thank you to my lovely beta, who shall remain anon for the moment.
banner by frea_o
“What do you think Thor’s like in bed?”
Clint hesitated, giving Natasha an opening to swipe his legs from beneath him, knocking him onto the training mat. Which he realized had probably been her intent all along. He rolled away from her and sprang back up to his feet. “What?”
Natasha kept chattering away, voice still perfectly even though they’d been sparring for a good half hour by then. “Do you think the fact he’s a god is an asset or a hindrance? Do you think he concentrates too much on being gentle? Do you think he’s an example of pretty boys not trying enough, or is that negated because, like I said, god?”
“I think you should stop talking so much about stuff I’ve never wanted as a mental image,” Clint said, aiming a right hook at Natasha’s jaw. “Also you should just ask Jane.”
She ducked, smirking faintly. “She just blushes and runs away from me.”
“Oh my God,” Clint said, and wondered why he was even surprised. “Why the sudden interest in our resident thunder god’s prowess in the sack, anyway?”
“Curious,” Natasha said, dancing away from him. “How about Tony? Obviously he’d talk too much.”
“But he’s really good with his hands.”
Natasha paused a moment, clearly acknowledging the validity of Clint’s statement, before leveling a kick at Clint’s head. She was way too flexible, seriously.
No, Clint took that back, barely biting back a grin at a few memories surging to the forefront of his mind. Natasha was definitely not too flexible.
Behind Natasha’s head Clint saw Steve walk in, waving at them as he strode over to the punching bag in the back. “Steve,” Clint said, because how could he not?
“Virgin,” Natasha replied.
Clint couldn’t help but let himself be distracted, glancing over to Steve again. Damn but the man had a fine ass, and Clint dared a person alive not to notice and think the same thing. “You think?”
Natasha popped him on the jaw and he winced, focus jerking back to her.
“Not entirely by design, I imagine,” she said.
Well, that was depressing. Still. “All those Captain America groupies, and you think he’s still a virgin?”
Natasha was making her disappointed face at him.
Oh, right. This was Captain America they were talking about. Model of respectfulness and righteousness and good behavior. He wasn’t one to take advantage. Not that Clint would take advantage of any Hawkeye groupies. If such a person existed. Not even if they were hot, and it was totally consensual, and he wasn’t currently in love with Natasha. Right.
Moving on. “So, okay, virgin, but I’m willing to bet he’s a fast learner.”
“And very giving,” Natasha added. “Attentive. Eager to please.”
“Aw, like a puppy,” Clint said, grinning. “And Bruce? You know what they say about the quiet ones.”
“I would imagine Bruce likes to maintain a certain degree of... control,” Natasha said, something flickering across her face too quickly for Clint to place.
“Way to kill the mood.”
“And the prospect of waking up next to a giant green rage monster doesn’t do that on its own?”
“Point,” Clint allowed. “Still. It’s a bit unfair. It’s like saying Bruce doesn’t deserve to have sex with anyone because sometimes he gets mad and turns into the Hulk.”
“I’m not saying that,” Natasha said, and she stepped back away from Clint in a tacit request to take a break. “I’m saying... It’s something that needs to be considered, if you’re Bruce, or if you’re the person who wants to sleep with Bruce.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s something Bruce ever forgets,” Clint said. He took a few swallows of semi-cold water from his water bottle and toweled off his face.
In the background he could hear the thudding of Steve’s fists against the punching bag. Natasha was standing quietly, her fingers curled around her own water bottle. S.H.I.E.L.D. issue, with the logo on the side.
“Bet we could seduce one of them if we wanted,” Clint said, not really thinking about what he was saying.
“Obviously,” Natasha said, glancing towards him.
“It might be fun.”
Natasha arched an eyebrow.
“We could call it a training exercise?” Clint tried.
She was laughing at him inside, Clint could tell. “Am I boring you, Barton? Is this your way of saying we need to spice things up?”
“Fuck no,” Clint said. His denial was purely a reaction, but it was true. Natasha was... Well, if she was anything, it was the opposite of boring. He was pretty sure he couldn’t get tired of her if they were the only two people left on the planet.
“So why the sudden interest in sleeping with one of our teammates? Which, may I remind you, has the potential to go catastrophically wrong. Not everyone is as professional as we are.” She paused. “Okay, as I am.”
“I don’t know,” Clint said, which was pretty much true. “Curiosity, I guess, like you said before. I just... I think it would be fun.”
“It would be,” Natasha acceded.
“I don’t think it’s likely to go ‘catastrophically wrong’. I mean, it won’t be anything serious. Right? They’ll get that.”
“I suppose.”
“Coulson is always going on about team bonding,” Clint wheedled.
Natasha’s eyes were glinting in that way that meant she thought Clint was ridiculous but still amusing. “I’m not sure this is quite what he had in mind.”
“Since when have we ever done exactly what he had in mind?”
“Wouldn’t do to stop surprising him,” Natasha said, and Clint knew he had won.
“We have to pick one, then. Unless you want to try for an orgy?” Clint was fairly sure he might have sounded a tad hopeful when he said that.
Declining to dignify that with a response, Natasha said instead, “Not Tony. Too easy, and Pepper is not someone you want to cross.”
“Okay, then if we’re respecting relationship boundaries, that rules out Thor, too.”
Natasha nodded. “Probably best not to find out how fertile a fertility god really is, anyway.”
Clint winced. “Agreed.” He thought for a bit and then was struck by the obvious. They were going about this in entirely the wrong way.
“Nat,” he said. “Who do you want to seduce?”
She simply looked at him. Then her eyes slid over to Steve.
Clint grinned.
Popping Captain America’s cherry was going to take some finesse. He was old-fashioned and respectable and he needed to be wooed.
Clint was never going to forgive himself for using the word ‘woo’, even if it was only in his head.
The change in Natasha’s attitude towards Steve was subtle. Seduction was part of her trade, after all. There was nothing overt; she didn’t throw herself at him like she sometimes did with the sleazier of her marks. She didn’t dress any differently. What she did do was use Steve’s name more often, in that low, sexy voice that was completely natural. She inserted herself into his space, standing just a little bit closer, touching him more than was necessary.
It was as if she was simply reminding Steve of her sexuality, reminding him that she was more than simply his teammate. She was a woman, and an incredibly beautiful woman at that. Clint was personally of the opinion that only a man who was one hundred percent gay could fail to be attracted to Natasha, and he wasn’t sure he believed a person could be one hundred percent anything.
For Clint, it was harder. He wasn’t even sure Steve was into men. At least he didn’t think Steve would be horrified at the idea. Steve was a pretty open-minded guy, and Captain America had always been known for qualities like tolerance and acceptance to go along with courage and strength and all that.
But while Clint’s fame within S.H.I.E.L.D. was mostly as a marksman, he had experience undercover as well, and he had had to use his God-given assets a time or two, the same as Natasha. He was maybe not as subtle as Natasha, and let her laugh at him when his tactics included purposely running into Steve in the locker room (generally wet or sweaty with a minimum of clothing), but he had definitely caught Steve looking so he figured it was worth it.
They both started asking Steve to be their sparring partner more often. There was something to be said for getting heated and sweaty with a person in a work-sanctioned activity, and it allowed them to get their hands all over him in, again, a work-sanctioned activity. Plus, in a completely unrelated bonus, it was good for both Clint and Natasha to get more practice in against an opponent with Steve’s unnaturally enhanced skills.
Once, they let Steve catch them kissing in the kitchen at the Tower. Though obviously they knew exactly the moment when he stepped through the doorway, they pretended to be unaware until Steve coughed politely to alert them to his presence. They purposely let the kiss linger a bit longer before Natasha hopped down from where she’d been sitting on the countertop between Clint’s legs.
“Sorry,” Steve said, but Natasha only let her fingertips brush over Steve’s chest as she moved around him and into the hall.
Clint winked at Steve and followed after Natasha. Just… giving Steve something to think about, that was all.
Of course, getting Steve to think about Clint and Natasha as sexual beings was one thing. Getting him to actually consider having sex with them was something completely different.
“Maybe we should get him flowers,” Clint said one night over pizza.
“Being from the forties doesn’t make him a girl,” Natasha said.
“Guys can like flowers!” Clint insisted. Not that he particularly cared about them. “A plant. We could get him a nice plant, for his apartment.”
Natasha hummed, considering. “Maybe. That idea isn’t terrible.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you know you love my terrible ideas.”
Natasha’s smile was like the edge of a knife, sharp and deadly. “Those are your best ones.”
“I know what you guys are doing,” Steve said. He was holding the potted plant Clint had just handed to him. It was a cactus. Clint had been assured that it was virtually impossible to kill a cactus, so it would be perfect for a person with Captain America’s schedule.
“Giving you a housewarming present?” Clint said.
“Would you have preferred something baked?” Natasha asked.
Steve boggled at her for a few seconds.
“You’ve clearly never had Nat’s Christmas cookies,” Clint said. “They’re a legend at S.H.I.E.L.D.” Truly. The junior agents told stories about them like they were a myth because they couldn’t comprehend the Black Widow baking. Natasha only made them for people she liked. It was a short list.
“Um,” Steve said. “I mean, uh, this.” He gestured vaguely with the pot. “You’re flirting with me, right?” He said it with a touch of uncertainty, like the idea of someone flirting with him was still an incomprehensible notion.
“We were thinking more on the lines of a seduction, but flirting works, too,” Natasha said.
“Um,” Steve said again. “I’m flattered?”
“We were gonna buy you dinner first, don’t worry,” Clint said.
“It would have been expensive,” Natasha added. “We would have let you pick a bottle off the wine list.”
“And let you order an appetizer and dessert.”
Steve set the pot down so he could cross his arms in front of his chest. “You think dessert would get me in your bed?”
“We were willing to go with the flow,” Natasha said. “See how it played out.”
“Do you… do this sort of thing a lot? Coax people into bed with you?”
Clint and Natasha exchanged a look.
“No,” Natasha answered, her eyes saying much more than her reply did. They did kink, but not generally like this. “We don’t.”
Steve actually did look flattered, then. “So what’s special about me?”
“The fact that you’re Captain America and yet still have to ask that, for one,” Clint said, which made Steve blush. “Also, that. That’s adorable.”
“Adorable,” Natasha agreed.
“You know, I…” Steve swallowed, and wouldn’t look either of them completely in the face. “You don’t really have to seduce me. You could have just asked.”
Huh. That was a novel idea. “You wanna join us for a threesome, Cap?” Clint asked.
So that was how they ended up undressing Steve in the bedroom of one of the safehouses they kept (this one was Natasha’s, for the record, and it had the largest mattress) because Steve didn’t want his neighbors talking and the three of them entering a bedroom together in the Tower and not leaving until the next day was not a sight they needed Tony Stark aware of.
They had Steve on his back (and exactly where Clint wanted him, frankly) when he said, “I’m not a virgin, you know.”
Clint sat back on his heels. “What?”
“It’s just… I kind of thought you might be under the impression I was.” <
Clint looked at Natasha, who merely shrugged. “You slept with Agent Carter?” Clint said. Because, okay, mind blown.
“What? No!” Steve looked the tiniest bit offended, like he thought Clint was impugning Peggy Carter’s honor or something. After that initial reaction, though, his expression morphed into something wistful and sad. “Peggy and me... We never did get our dance. But Bucky? We did our fair share of dancing.”
“And when you say dancing, you don’t mean dancing.”
While Steve shook his head, Natasha rolled her eyes and said, “Gee, Clint, thanks for clearing that one up.”
Clint ignored her. “Wait, Bucky?” It took Clint a second to place the name because he wasn’t a huge geek like Coulson. When he did, though, a dozen possible jokes mostly revolving around superheroes and their sidekicks came to mind, but he managed to restrain himself because he wasn’t that tactless.
Instead he said, “You had sex with a dude?” Clint had never claimed that he wasn’t at all tactless.
“Contrary to what most people these days seem to think, men did have sex with other men in the forties,” Steve said.
“So you’re gay?”
“No? I mean, Bucky was my... But I like dames, too. Er, women,” Steve said, giving Natasha a slightly bashful look.
Seriously, if Clint could look like that, he would have so much sex. Clearly Steve’s gifts were wasted on him.
“That’s fortunate,” Natasha said, trailing one long fingernail down the center of Steve’s chest. “Because I was hoping to participate more than simply watching while the two of you have all the fun.”
Steve swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that would be okay.”
“You know how Tony likes to make inappropriately sexual jokes?” Clint said, much later, sweaty and tired and sore in all the best ways. “If he only knew that Steve actually can go all night like the Energizer bunny, he would never shut up.”
“God bless the super soldier serum,” Natasha said, pushing a lock of red hair out of her eyes.
“You’re welcome?” Steve said, tugging the sheet over his lap. “Or, um, thank you? I don’t really know what the protocol is for this, er, sort of thing.”
“I don’t think there is one, Steve.”
“So… Is this when I leave? Is it awkward if I have to ask? I was probably just supposed to put my clothes on and go, wasn’t I?”
“No,” Clint and Natasha both said simultaneously, Natasha reaching out to curl her fingers around Steve’s wrist.
Steve stopped trying to get up, looking from one to the other of them.
“Hey,” Clint said, attempting to quell the awkwardness that had actually arisen. “After that, I think it’s only fair you stay and let us make you breakfast in the morning. Natasha makes the best pancakes.”
“It’s true,” Natasha agreed.
“She’ll put a smiley face on them if you ask really nicely.”
“Only because I like you.”
Steve’s small smile was nervous. “That would be nice.”
“Awesome,” Clint said, and pushed Steve back down onto the bed. “Now, fair warning, Natasha kicks and I hog the covers. Also I can’t guarantee I won’t wake you up for a quickie before it’s light outside.”
“It’s more a guarantee that he will wake you up,” Natasha said, and Clint stuck his tongue out at her. “You’re a child,” she said in response, prompting Clint to blow her a raspberry.
“I don’t think I’d mind,” Steve said, letting Clint and Natasha push him around while they arranged themselves in the bed.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Clint said, curving his arm around Natasha’s slim form and closing his eyes contentedly.
They got in that quickie, and Steve stayed for breakfast. Natasha put a smiley face on the top of his stack of pancakes (and on the top of his second stack, and his third, because damn could that man pack away the calories) because he was so polite. Clint had to resort to making puppy eyes in order to earn his smiley face. Natasha claimed it was ineffective and she was only relenting because she felt sorry for him.
After Steve had gone, Clint stretched his arms overhead and said, “Well, I gotta say, I think Operation Seduce an Avenger was a big success.”
Natasha gave him an unimpressed look. “Please don’t ever use that phrase again. You make us sound like a couple of pervs with too much time on our hands, out to corrupt those poor, heroic Avengers.”
“Yeah, but the first part’s probably true, and the last part definitely is, and it has been way too long since we’ve been on a mission.”
“All right, maybe,” Natasha relented. “But you’re a much bigger perv than I am.”
“Fair enough,” Clint said. “So… Let’s say New York stays boring and lacking in alien invasions, and we still don’t get sent off on a mission. How long till we see if Bruce is susceptible to our skills?”
“Perv,” Natasha said, but she was smiling all the same.
End